AN: This is a slash fan fiction so all of you who dont like slash can stop reading right now.
I am not J. K. Rowling and thus nothing of what I am writing is real. It is pure fiction and every character written belongs to J. K. Rowling and WB. Except for Moranna who is mine.
This story is dedicated to Marie. I hope that you found what you searched for and that it was worth it. I hope that you know that I love you with all of my heart. Rest in peace, my angel.
The prologue is set outside the northern coast of England, dont ask me how he got there, he just happened to be there. And the 1:st person is just for that chapter as I found it impossible to write from a watchers point of view.
I like reviews, so please give me some, but no flaming. It is immature and irresponsible.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Prologue - Broken heart- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I looked down at the ocean below me, asking myself what was going to happen now. Pain seared through my body, yet I cared not. My heart had been ripped out from its place in the chest, torn into pieces, stomped on and mutilated so severely that it only was a puddle of mush. And then it had been placed back inside of me, the wound stitched together, leaving large, ugly marks on my torso that forever would tell of what had happened to me.
I wanted death, wanted and needed it badly, almost to the verge of that I was about to throw myself into the cold water below me, letting the streams take me away, take me down into the cold and forgetting bottom of the Atlantic, the place where nobody would ever have to see me again.
Yet I could not make myself to make that throw, not while he still walked upon this earth. Even if it tore me apart, I knew that I had to keep on living, if only for the chance of ever seeing him again.
And I knew that I would, during almost another full year I would see him everyday, feel his radiant beauty shine through even the darkest of clouds.
The skyline became blurry as my eyes filled with tears, and I took off my glasses to wipe them away, trying not to think about how much it would kill me to see him but never being able to touch him, feel the softness of his silver-blonde hair or just be near him.
Again I wondered for the millionth time why it had to be like this, why he had to do this to me. His claims of not loving me anymore I knew were not true, but as I asked for the real reason he refused to answer me, telling me lies that the both of us knew were false. The hurt in his eyes that he had tried to hide - oh yes, I had noticed it, I had seen that there was something else, something that bothered him so badly he didnt want to share it with me. And again he had claimed that he didnt love me, said that we were not meant to be together. Awful things he said, hurting me more than anything else, he had desperately tried to fend me off, as if I carried the pledge.
And I had left, not because that I wanted to, but for that I loved him too much not to have it his way. Wasnt there an old saying telling of that if you loved someone you had to let them go?
Well, I had - as much as it hurt me, and inside I hoped that some day, when the time was right, hed come back. Though I knew that the day would never come, he would go on and live his life as if nothing had ever happened between the two of us.
I heaved myself up from my position crouching on the rocks, not until now noticing the figure behind me. Gasping for air I took a step back, knowing that what I saw was just illusions, for he was not with me, he was someplace else, surrounded with the others of his kin. Silently I prayed that he would go away, stop tormenting me, but I knew his ghost would never leave me. He had placed his trademark on me, and it was more than waterproof. It was everlasting.
Walking away there was a mere moment when I knew that things would just be fine, for then he really was standing there, smiling brightly at me, telling me that it all had been a bad dream.
Then truth came crashing down and the image faded away, as did his steel-grey eyes. Nothing would ever be fine.