(Warning: This story contains themes of abuse.)
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Nothing that I Feel
Chapter 1
The first thing that the redhead woke up to was pain racking her body. She held the whimper in her throat. Swallowing, she scooted to the edge of the bed she was sharing with her boyfriend, Matt Hardy. Heart beating wildly, she waited. When all she heard was steady breathing, she slid out of the bed and onto the floor. Quickly, she crept across the carpet of the hotel room, slipping into the bathroom.
She didn't turn the light on as soon as she shut the door. Waiting in the darkness until her eyes adjusted, she listened, making sure that Matt hadn't woken up. The redhead fumbled around the sink, carefully not making much noise, and found the nightlight she'd set there. As soon as she pushed it into the socket, a dim skitter of orange spread across the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, she looked at the bruises covering her nude body.
Lita's fingers brushed across the bruises as she silently contemplated how to hide them. Turning, she got a good look at her back, and she grimaced. A large, dark purple, almost black bruise ringed with blue spread across her upper back. No amount of make-up could cover that up…
Her heart caught as the bed frame creaked. After a moment of silence, Lita calmed herself slowly. He wasn't waking up…not yet, anyway. Running a tongue over her chapped lips, she turned the shower on low enough so he wouldn't know she was up. The redhead turned the knob until the water that fell on her was cold as ice.
Working quickly, she was out of the shower in 5 minutes. Lita continued on her routine, stopping every single time a noise fell. First, she checked her body for any obvious cuts – a simple excuse and a slapped on band-aid would do for those. After that, she covered what bruises she could with make-up.
It was a routine she worked almost every morning, and her hands flew, rubbing on the make-up hard enough to rub in, but light enough to go without more pain than necessary. As soon as the make-up was in place, she grabbed her duffel out from underneath the sink, looking in it for a shirt that would cover up her back.
She pulled on a tight tee shirt with "Hardy Boyz" scrawled across it that revealed only part of her stomach. Her movements were jerky as she pulled on her trademark thong and then black pants.
Lita jumped as a shrill ring cut through the silence. She stuffed the nightlight back into her bag, along with her make-up, and darted out of the bathroom, dropping her bag and rushing to the phone. Matt mumbled something, turning to face the phone. His eyes cut through her, and she froze in mid-motion to pick up the phone. He reached out his hand for the phone. The redhead picked it up and handed it to Matt.
"Hello?" Matt snapped, sitting up as he glared at Lita. "Yeah, she's here." He tossed the phone at her, and she caught it before it could hit her.
"Hey Sweetie!" was the greeting.
"Chris?" she whispered, and her eyes darted to meet Matt. She almost cringed at the fury in his eyes.
"So are you coming down for breakfast with the guys?"
"I don't know," she admitted quietly, looking down at her hands. She could picture Chris scowling.
"It's him, isn't it?" he spat.
"What do you mean?" Lita closed her eyes, willing Chris not to speak.
"You know what I mean!" Chris said, "You don't get those bruises falling down stairs." Lita closed her eyes, hoping that Matt couldn't hear.
"Chris, stop it. You don't know what you're talking about."
"Whatever. You coming or not?" was the sour reply. Lita looked up at Matt, her insides churning.
"Matt?" she asked timidly, and he fixed her with a thunderous glare. "He wants to know if we're going down to breakfast with the rest of the guys." She covered the mouthpiece of the phone.
He laughed, "You'd love that, wouldn't you, you little whore?" she bowed her head, but didn't say anything. "You'd love to go down there, and f-"
"Lita?" Chris's voice asked over the phone.
"Get your bags," snapped Matt, "We're leaving."
Closing her eyes, she let her hand fall from the mouthpiece as she said, "We're just going to head for the arena… Maybe stop at Dunkin' Donuts for some breakfast on the way," the last part was a lie, but she hoped that it would satisfy Chris for a while.
"See you there, then," Chris said sullenly. Lita hung up the phone slowly, and sat on the edge of the bed. Matt had retreated to the bathroom as soon as he answered her. Quietly, she gathered their bags by the bed. Matt stepped out of the bathroom just as she heaved one heavy duffel bag over her shoulder, wincing. He let out a small, cruel laugh.
"Does that hurt, Lita?" he asked sweetly, sarcasm oozing from his words. "Does that hurt?" When she didn't answer him, he strode over to her, eyes flashing angrily. "Answer me!" he ordered. As she opened her mouth, his fist slammed against her face in a glancing blow. The redhead landed in a heap on the floor, closing her eyes against the pain, willing the tears to keep at bay. Matt grabbed a handful of her hair, yanking her to her feet. Lita knew better than to show her pain as he pulled at her hair. "I hope you didn't make any plans," he continued in his false-sweet voice. His grip tightened, and he threw her onto the bed. Lita crawled backward.
"Matt, please," she whispered. His dark eyes glittered maliciously as he pinned her down. The redhead wriggled underneath him for a moment, and then stopped. He grinned down at her, and her heart stopped for a moment at the violent, hungry look in his eyes. His grip on her wrists tightened, cutting off her circulation. Lita stopped still, and closed her eyes tightly. Her muscles prepared for the blows to come. His hand slacked against her cheek with startling force. She bit back her whimper as his fingers grabbed her chin tightly. "Open your eyes, bitch," he snapped. Clenching her teeth, she did what he said.
Lita felt a shiver crawl up her spine as she looked at his eyes. He was going to snap sometime soon… Somewhere in the bottom of her heart she assessed that. She knew she had to get out, because when he snapped, she probably wouldn't live to see it through.
But she was trapped…Trapped in the nightmare.
And there was no way out.