Disclaimer: i dont own .hack or digimon. Or Square or actual chocobos, but gyshai is my character!!! end of story.
Luna: hey you people! first .hack fic ever & took me 4ever cause i coulnt upload then i had to retype it........grr............
Elk: um....hi...
Luna: oh your Elk the useless Wavemaster guy who's clingy!
Elk: Your mean! I'm telling Mia on you!
Luna: um.... there, there? geez cant even take a joke! anyway let's get on with thr random story!
Chapter 1: Aura the Handicapped.
Kite was walking along with his best friend , Orca. They were in a dungeon when suddenly a creepy white thing was being chased by another thing.
So Orca and Kite followed it because they were retarded.
"Where are we?" asked Kite, dumbly, " Because we're not in Kanas anymore.....
" Aura!" cried Orca running to her.
She was floating all in white. And she was armless.
" AHHHH!!" screamed Kite, "She's armless! Protect me, Orca!"
" Orca, take it , " whispered Aura.
" What?"
"Take it before he comes."
" I didnt quite get that-"
" JUST TAKE THE DAMN BOOK!"
Then Skeith appeared & Aura floated away leaving Orca & Kite to their doom. He then datadrained Orca as Kite stood and watched. Or ran like a wuss rather.
But our cowardly antihero was saved by a staff wielded by a woman who didnt know the meaning of the word "shirt". cough Helba cough
The next day.......
Kite forgot about Orca and the fact he was in a coma. he didnt even take a hint as to STOP PLAYING THE GAME! So he ends up meeting BlackRose.
" Hey you!!" she shouts, her voice cracking every window within a 6-mile radius.
" M-me?" asks Kite, in fear.
" No! The guy behind you!"
Kite turns around. She rolls her eyes.
" Anyway, you're coming with me to a werid filed where my brother was put in a coma because i have a death wish."
" Wait....What?"
" Just come with me!"
" Uh, I don't know...." She gives him a death glare.
" O-okay...." decided Kite.
" DANCE PUPPET, DANCE!" cries the power hungry heavy blader. On cue , he danced.
" Idiot..." she mumbles.
They gated to a Chruch like filed.
" Hey this looks like somewhere a gender-confused Wavemaster would hang out," remarks Kite.
Somewhere, Tsukaa is screaming, " I'M A BOY!!!...wait...am I a girl...? But if I'm in a coma.... IM SO CONFUSED!!!"
Just then, Aura appears.
" AHHH!!" cries Kite, " SHE'S ARMLESS !! HIDE ME! She'll hurt me!"
Kite, being the genius that he is, doesnt realize that if you lack arms you cant: A strangle someone, B punch you, C throw you.
" The power can either be used for salvnation or destruction, " whispered Aura.
" Huh? Speak up." said BlackRose.
" The power can either be used for salvnation or destruction, "
" Come again?"
" The power can be used for- OH WHO CARES!!!"
She throws the book at Kite who is knocked out instantly.
" Wuss,,,," mumbles BlackRose.
" You!" said a winged man , Balmug, " Art doth hackers?"
" What would you like me to say?" asks BlackRose, eyeing him up and down.
" To be a hacker or not to be a hacker...." said Balmug, " ANSWER!"
"Um.....no...."said BlackRose, " We can exchange member adresses to...you know."
And no, all you sick of mind thats NOT what she meant!
Suddenly, the winged one is attacked by a Data Bug.
" if thoust value thy life leave now!!" cries Balmug, drawing his sword, " and take the dishonorable male with you."
" Buh-bye Balmugy, hot guy!" said BlackRose and blows him a kiss.
Kite awakens, sees Data Bug and crawls into fetal position mumbling " M-mommy!" Then the book transforms him.
" Kitewussmon digievoled to....Redkitemon with imaginary bracelet!"
Then, the bracelet possesses him as it datadrains the bug. Balmug is able to defeat it. YAY!
" Thou art hacker!" cries Balmug, " have you no honor? Twists the world to thee delight! Draw thy weapon & duel!"
Normally, in .hack infection this is where BalckRose would defended Kite. But remember,this is far from normal.
" Yeah!" cries BlackRose, " Duel! I know you'll win, Balmugy!" She winks at him, again.
" But it was the imaginary bracelet, I swear!" cried Kite, " If it was up to me, I would've let it kill you and run!"
BlackRose shakes her head. Her and Balmug walk off together, her latched onto his shoulder and him trying to get away. And failing. Miserably.
"Stupid imaginary bracelet made me into a hero,,," whines Kite.
Luna: OKAY!! IM DONE HERE! Please review, much appericated.
Gyshai: shes a chocobo Oh, and you're not gonna introduce me, huh? stupid RACIST!
Luna: sighs Thats Gyshai, a talking chocobo fighting for chocobo rights....
Gyshai: thats right!!! Square you cant control us as a stupid breed of bird used for transportation anymore! WE SHALL GET EQUAL RIGHTS!!
Luna: Great, ranting again... Chappie 2 is about Kite meeting an grass addict; Elk & a bracelet obessed cat!....anyway see yas later!
Gyshai: And remeber Gyshai for president! And review!