(A/N) Third chapter!!! Yey!!! Okay so, I know that most of my stories tend to be a little depressing. I try not to let them get like that but it seems that that's the only way I can write them. It's not like I'm actually depressed or anything, I just find it easier to write than having all happy endings and stuff cos I can never get my happy ending to seem 'real'. Anyways, I listen to a lot of music while I write and for this story I've mostly been listening to Placebo. I love Brian. Anyway, so please read and review!!!! I hope you enjoy it!!!

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CHAPTER THREE: I've Been Drowning Without You

Sirius paused outside the door of the room where Remus was sleeping as he made his way down for breakfast. No sound was coming from the little room so Sirius continued on, imagining Remus to be still asleep.

Remus, however, was not asleep. He sat on the edge of the old bed, holding the ratty grey mattress in two pale hands, his fingers smoothing out the rough material. He sighed and closed his glassy amber eyes- letting a small tear slip silently down his cheek. He wasn't sure why he was crying, but the dream had affected him badly. He wanted, no, needed to see Lucius again to make sure the other man was alright. Remus thought he had seen, that day in the bookshop, an emotion in Lucius's eyes that looked almost like hope, hope or….love? But he couldn't be sure and he couldn't forget the way Lucius had treated him before. Why did he spend so much time thinking about a man who he was pretty sure never thought about him.

With a deep sigh Remus stood up and stretched, his arms reaching way above his head. He tied his unruly silver-honey hair back and padded out of the room, still in his clothes from the day before. He would have a shower after breakfast.

As he approached the kitchen he could hear the comforting noise of early morning chatter as Sirius and Arthur discussed the morning's issue of the Daily Prophet. Molly pottered about behind them, pouring the coffee and making the toast.

Remus smiled and sank into an old wooden chair across from Sirius who gave him a wide smile.

"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked, his dark blue eyes looking more serious than the rest of his handsome face.

Remus smiled tentatively and nodded. "Fine." He said.

Molly tutted as she poured some hot coffee into his white china mug, "You need some more sleep." She said. "It would do you a world of good. Wouldn't it Arthur?"

"Hmmm?" asked the aforementioned Arthur from behind his newspaper.

"Sleep, do him a world of good wouldn't it?" Molly repeated with a small frown on her careworn face.

Arthur's serious blue eyes studied Remus's pale face for a moment before he replied. "Yes, sleep and other forms of rest. You need to take some time off Lupin."

Remus smirked sadly and sipped his coffee. "Time off from what?" he asked bitterly.

"Life." Sirius said with a small smile. "Life, or whatever it is that plagues you."

Remus gulped his coffee and burnt his tongue.

>>>>>>

Severus opened the thick green curtains about a centimetre and looked out onto the world below. The lawns of Malfoy Manor were covered in early morning dew and the trees and flowers glinted lightly in the cold sunlight. Severus took a deep breath and pulled the curtain all the way open.

"What the fuck was that for?" Lucius asked from the sofa behind him.

Severus turned to see the white-gold haired man frowning at him. The bright light highlighted just how pale and weak Lucius Malfoy really looked. His wide silver eyes looked dull grey to the world. Severus longed for their old sparkle. If he could go back in time he would, go back and warn Lucius of the port key's whereabouts.

"You have work." Severus said rather roughly, tossing Lucius his black shirt.

"I know." Lucius replied, glowering at the other man. "Don't order me about, Snape." He spat.

He pulled the shirt on angrily and marched toward the door.

"Lucius, wait." Severus said, his arm stretching out toward the smaller man

Lucius turned slowly, his hands shaking and his head bowed. Slowly he looked up at Severus through wide eyes that were rimmed red with tears. "I have waited too long Severus." He whispered with an almost deathly seriousness. "I waited to long for help that never came. I can't wait anymore." With that he walked out of the study and away from Severus who stood watching him leave, a look of pain in his obsidian eyes.

Suddenly a sort of panic overtook him. "Lucius!" he cried, rushing out into the hall. "Lucius, what are you going to do?" he screamed. However, the hallway was empty; Lucius was nowhere to be seen.

Severus stood rather stupidly for a moment, his eyes searching desperately for any sign of the silver eyed man. He now feared that Lucius would do the worst thing possible. There had been something in Lucius's tone, something in his eyes that had told Severus so.

Slowly Severus retreated back into the study, his eyes clouded beneath his dark hair. He was at a loss at what to do. How in the world could he possibly help Lucius? There seemed to be no solution to the blonde haired man's problems.

>>>>>>>

Remus stood outside Flourish and Blotts as Molly went in to buy a new edition of 'Guilderoy Lockhart's guide to Household Pests'. She had lost the old one in a freak fire caused by one of Fred and George's experiments.

Remus had agreed to go shopping with her, hoping that the warm, talkative company would help keep his mind off of, well…Lucius.

So far it hadn't worked. Although he was enjoying Molly's company Remus just couldn't seem to focus. Everywhere he looked he saw Lucius, every voice he heard seemed to mirror the sharp English drawl. Remus was completely and hopelessly drowning in his memories.

Remus sighed and checked his watch- Molly had been gone for over ten minutes now and he was getting a little impatient. Just then a flurry of movement caught his attention.

The crowd parted in the street ahead and a slim, pale figure walked quickly through. Remus's breath caught in his throat as he took in the long white-gold hair that fell over a pale and delicate face. Two silver eyes flickered up to meet his own amber ones and time stood still.

Remus felt his heart in his throat, tears threatened at the corner of his eyes but he did not blink them away- afraid that if he did Lucius would disappear. It was as if everything else had faded to black- all he could see was Lucius, shining like a light in the darkness. He watched as Lucius's eyes swam with emotion, his pale lips parted and mouthed the word 'Remus'. Then he looked away, his long silky hair covering his face. Remus suddenly felt that he could breathe again and he did- inhaling the sharp city air.

In front of him Lucius began to move again, his plain black robes flying out as he pushed past Remus.

"Wait." Remus cried quietly, desperately, as he reached out an arm, his long fingers brushing against the cool material of the other man's cloak.

Lucius made no acknowledgement that he had heard him, instead he continued on down the alley, not looking back.

Suddenly his entire past flashed before Remus's eyes and in it he saw only Lucius. In his future he saw nothing- but he wanted something. He wanted to look into a future of silky white-gold hair and piercing silver eyes, a future where he could have Lucius- and be happy. A future that maybe could be realised; he had to follow Lucius.

Remus walked quickly- following Lucius's fast moving figure through the crowds. Behind him, at the door of Flourish and Blotts, Molly Weasley stood watching him walk away- an unfathomable expression on her friendly face.

Remus pushed his way through what seemed like thousands of bodies- all unwilling to move for him and yet they seemed to part like the red sea for Lucius. Panicking he quickened his step and called again "Wait!"

Lucius's back seemed to stiffen at the sound of his voice but nevertheless he kept on moving- walking faster and further away.

Finally Remus broke into a run and caught up with the other man, his fingers wrapping around Lucius's cloak as he spun him around until they were face to face. Silver and amber met and their gazes locked, caught again in painful memories and tentative hopes.

"Lucius." Remus whispered.

"What do you want Lupin?" Lucius spat- his silver eyes glazing over and turning cold, a sneer marring his perfect face.

Remus blinked at the hatred in the other man's voice and his words faltered slightly but he did not give up. He was almost certain that he had seen love in the silver depths and he would not let that go. "Can we talk?" he asked quietly but forcefully.

Lucius's sharp eyes looked him up and down- taking in Remus's straggly honey and silver hair and his grey second-hand robes. "We have nothing to discuss. Werewolf." He hissed before pushing past Remus once more.

Blindly Remus reached out and turned Lucius around once more- his hands gripping the black fabric tightly.

Sneering, Lucius spat in Remus's face, "You are nothing to me." He said forcefully, at Remus's expression his silver eyes flickered slightly. "I….I need only my master." He looked painfully into Remus's eyes, a lost and lonely look on his pale face. "I don't….I don't need you anymore."

Remus's hand slipped from the dark robes and Lucius spun away- practically running from the amber eyed man. Remus covered his eyes with his hand and leant back against the wall of Fortesque's Ice Cream parlour, he felt so weak all of a sudden. A few moments later he felt a warm arm wrap around his and he heard Molly's kind voice whispering to him as she pulled him to his feet. Slowly they walked down the alley- making the long journey back home.

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Lucius slammed the door of his office in the Ministry of Magic and threw his cloak on the floor. Angry tears made their way down his face and he hastily tried to brush them away. Remus's shocked face swam before his eyes and he let out a small scream of rage. There was no use in thinking about the man- he could never have him as long as he was alive, because as long as he lived Lucius would belong to Voldemort. But he could never have Remus once he was dead either, because Lucius was pretty sure he would be going to hell and there was no chance he would ever meet someone like Remus there. He didn't deserve someone as good as Remus, and that was why Lucius knew he must die- for death would be better than the hell he lived in on earth.

With an angry cry Lucius knocked a table lamp violently from its place on his desk. Hot tears fell from his eyes as he caught his own reflection in the circular wall mirror. Pathetic- he thought- you're pathetic.

(A/N) sorry this one took so long- I had very bad case of writers block. However I shouldn't take so long on the next one. So anyway- please review!!!!!