(A/N) Hello!!! Sixth chapter! Thanks sooo much to you guys for your reviews- they really mean a lot. Sorry that this chapter took so long, it was really hard to write but as the story draws to a close over the next few chapters I would really appreciate reviews from everyone who reads this. Thanks a lot!

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CHAPTER SIX: Too Many Years Spent Fighting Back Tears

The next morning Remus Lupin woke up with a little smile on his face. He didn't know why but he felt rather fresh and wide awake- ready to face the day and try to get on with his life.

He hummed to himself as he went in the shower- taking time to wash his hair with….Herbal Essences? Shrugging, Remus poured some of the gooey liquid into his palm and massaged it into his long hair. He could hear the rest of the house stirring and Molly calling for breakfast. It was days like these- days when he woke up with a smile- that, though they were few, made him happy to be alive.

Molly smiled at him as he entered the kitchen and sat down at the table. "Morning Remus." She said, passing him a plate of eggs and bacon.

"Morning." He said.

Arthur popped his head in the kitchen, "Well, I'll be off then." He said, tipping his hat to Molly and nodding politely at Remus.

"Have a nice day dear." Molly said, pausing in her chores to give her husband a peck on the cheek.

Arthur smiled and headed out the front door, whistling a happy tune to himself. Remus smiled into his coffee and was suddenly overcome with an indescribable urge to giggle- which he did.

Molly looked at him a little suspiciously. "Nice to see you're feeling better this morning." She said.

Remus just smiled and took a sip of the coffee. He wasn't sure the cause of his good mood. Maybe it was because of his talk with Sirius the previous day. Sirius's forgiveness had done him a world of good- maybe he wasn't quite ready to forgive himself yet, but he was on his way. As for Lucius, well, what could he do now? Keeping out of the Blonde man's way was his best bet- if only to retain some of his sanity.

Just then Sirius walked in- his expression as dark as a thundercloud. He sat down roughly, slamming his cutlery about.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, concern written in his amber eyes.

Angry blue eyes met his and Sirius said nothing, just sipped his coffee. "SHIT!" he cried, spitting the drink out.

"Too hot?" Molly asked with a smile on her face.

Sirius glared at her. "It's fine." He was still annoyed about Snape's visit the day before. He had spent all night thinking about what the black-eyed man had said and he had to admit- some of it did make sense. Was there something Remus wasn't telling him? Would it be better to let Remus and Lucius meet? If only to bring everything to an end.

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Severus Snape walked up to the large doors of Malfoy Manor. Lucius hadn't been into work for two days and he had come to investigate. It was Saturday so he had nothing to be done at Hogwarts- besides he was awfully concerned about his friend.

He knocked on the door and listened as the sound echoed throughout the great house. Finally a butler answered and Severus asked for Lucius. The butler's thin face took on a sour look and he shouted for Narcissa.

After a few moments she came into view, an irritated expression on her porcelain face. "What?" she snapped.

"I'm here to see Lucius." Severus said, raising a black eyebrow. "Is he here?"

Narcissa sighed and looked at her nails- each perfectly polished. "He's in St Mungo's." she said rather absently.

If she noticed that Severus's expression was one of pure shock and horror she didn't say anything. "You can visit him there- and tell him that I am very annoyed."

Severus's brain struggled to process everything she was saying. "St Mungo's?" he asked. "Draco didn't mention it."

Narcissa snorted and tossed her blonde waves. "Him? I did not inform Draco of his Father's situation. I didn't feel that he needed to know how pathetic Lucius really is. Honestly- slicing his own wrists open. I don't know what came over him. It's disgraceful."

Severus forced his mouth into a sharp smile. "I understand." He said shortly, giving a rather stiff bow before leaving. He shuddered as the heavy doors swung shut behind him.

St Mungo's? He couldn't believe that Lucius had actually done it- he had had his suspicions that he would but…..sighing rather sadly Severus apparated.

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Remus stretched and then stood up. Sirius was in the shower and the post owl had just arrived with that morning's edition of the Daily Prophet. Picking the rather creased paper up he thanked the owl and then sat down to read it.

Most of the articles were rather boring- there was something on the missing 'criminal' Sirius Black. A muggle swore she had spotted him at a dance club in London. Remus smiled softly to himself, he wouldn't be surprised if that were true, he would have to ask Sirius later. Another story centred on the break up of a popular wizard band- the 'Wicked Witches'.

He turned the pages slowly, smiling at some of the more funny moving pictures- finally his eyes stopped. There, staring back at him with cold silver eyes was a picture of Lucius Malfoy. His breath caught in his through he began to read the article- written by Rita Skeeter.

Narcissa Malfoy- well known socialite has been trying to hush this story up but I- Rita Skeeter of the Daily Prophet have taken it upon myself to bring it into the eyes of the wizarding public. Ministry worker Lucius Malfoy was found in his bedroom at precisely 4:00 pm yesterday afternoon, unconscious and soaked in blood. A small silver knife was found near his body- apparently he cut open his own wrists in a suicide attempt. Now this reporter finds herself asking- why would such a well off man- both in money and family- want to kill himself? What could drive him to take such drastic measures- such measures that would send him straight to St Mungo's where he now lies?

Remus stopped reading and dropped the paper in shock. Lucius had…why would he do such a thing? Even Remus could never bring himself to do such a thing. Maybe Lucius really did need him, no matter what he pretended on the outside.

Scrambling to his feet Remus grabbed a long black coat that belonged to Sirius. It was slightly too big for him but that didn't matter. "I'm going out!" he shouted up the stairs- glad that Sirius was in the shower and wouldn't be able to come after him.

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Without a backward glance he stepped out onto the front steps and shut the door tight behind him.

Severus Snape looked sad as he sat by Lucius Malfoy's bedside. This was an unusual expression for Severus, usually he tried not to care for people- it was most likely a waste of time as they usually hurt you in some way. However, he could not help but care for Lucius- Lucius who had lost so much, and changed so much and yet had not changed at all really. Severus allowed himself a small smile as the silver eyes of the man lying on the bed flickered open and blinked at him groggily.

"Severus." Lucius whispered hoarsely. "You're here….what?"

Severus looked at the paler man with a serious expression. "What did you think you were doing Lucius?" he asked, it was rare that he had the authority in the situation but for the moment Lucius was too weak to care.

Lucius sighed and held his bandaged wrists up to inspect them. "I don't know Severus. It just all got too much. It's all too…." He trailed off, his silver eyes looking pleadingly at Severus as his arms flopped back down onto the white sheets.

"We cannot get rid of Voldemort." Severus said sadly and Lucius nodded.

"I know."

Severus sighed rather dejectedly.

"I thought I was dying Severus." Lucius began, his white-gold hair spread out over the pillow. "I saw myself- I was dead and as I saw it I realised that I didn't want to die. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like this either."

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Remus all but skidded into the waiting room of St Mungo's, his honey and sliver hair flying loose and Sirius's coat billowing about his legs.

"I'm here to see Malfoy." He told the young receptionist. "Lucius Malfoy."

"Are you family?" she asked, snapping her gum.

Remus smiled rather crookedly, "No, I just…I'm his. Well he's important to me. Please, I need to see him."

The receptionist looked at him sceptically for a moment before nodding. "Alright- he's rich so he's got a private room. Number six on the third floor."

Remus smiled brightly and he took off, running toward the stairs.

"No running!" the receptionist called after him.

Remus, however, did not hear her- he had to see Lucius. He had to know if he was alright, that was all that mattered. In that moment all other thoughts and troubles had fled his mind- Lucius was all that mattered to him. Remus smiled as he realised that this had always been the case, he had let his own selfish thoughts and feelings get in the way before but now, now he could see clearly.

No matter how they both tried to escape it they were drawn together. Since that day in the library Lucius had been all that Remus could think of. He had once thought that God sought to drive them apart but now he thought differently. Surely if it was God's intention that they should never be together then they would not keep meeting, they would not be driven to such drastic acts as suicide when they were apart.

Remus could see this now. It was funny, he thought, how only a tragedy such as suicide could make him see clearly. All he had to do now was convince Lucius. The other man needed him, Remus was sure- he was sure he could help him as Lucius had helped him once upon a time.

Finally he slowed down and arrived at a clean white door, stuck on the wall beside it was the number six- in red.

Suddenly feeling nervous Remus peered through the letterbox shaped window on the door. Inside the little room he saw Lucius lying on the bed- looking for all the world like an angel, although his skin was looking ever paler and his silver eyes looked tired and empty. How Remus wanted to go to him but he could see another figure sitting at the side of the bed. It was Severus Snape, the black haired man was talking to Lucius, and whatever he was saying seemed to be important for both figures looked very serious.

Suddenly the obsidian eyes snapped upwards and Remus found himself gazing eye to eye with Severus Snape.

Feeling all at once rather unworthy Remus turned to leave- he could not see Lucius now. At least he knew he was okay- he had got what he had come for. An opportunity to speak to the silver eyed man would arise again he was sure.

Silently, no longer running, he made his way down the empty white corridor, the black coat almost trailing on the floor.

"Lupin!" called a voice from behind him. Remus turned, there; standing in the hallway was Snape, his black eyes staring and a small smile on his sallow face.

"Severus." He said with a nod to the other man. "Is he going to be alright?" he asked, meaning Lucius.

Severus walked slowly down the hall, each step echoing in the silence. Finally he stopped a metre away from Remus who looked at him with wide amber eyes.

"Will he be alright?" Remus repeated quietly, all of a sudden feeling like the shy boy of his teenage years.

Severus looked at him, a serious expression on his face. "He could be." Came the reply. "I know a way he could be alright."

Remus's breath caught in his throat, "How, how is that?" he asked, hope clawing its way through his body.

Suddenly, in an altogether unexpected movement that was rare for someone as solitary as Snape, he reached out and grabbed Remus's arm. "He loves you." Severus hissed, "I know it, I know he loves you. I thought he stopped but he never did, I thought I alone could help him but I never could. I thought there was no way but there is, now tell me one thing." He paused for a moment, studying Remus's face, which was frozen in an unfathomable expression. "Black said that you never wanted to see Lucius again. Now I think that this cannot be true as you are here but tell me now. Were Black's words true?"

Remus was silent for a moment, a smile creeping across his pale face. "Yes," he cried. "Yes they were true, but not anymore. I can see now….I know now that hiding will do no good."

Severus nodded and released the other man. "Well, Remus, visit the Malfoy manor a week from today." He stopped talking then and, rather oddly, shook Remus's hand before turning on his heel and heading back into room number six. "It was nothing," Remus heard him say as he closed the door. "Just someone who owed me money."

A small, but real, laugh sounded from inside the room and Remus's heart leapt. Lucius would be alright- he would not let him suffer anymore.

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