Facing the Past
Chapter Eight
"Sandy?" Kirsten's voice cut through the dark.
For a moment she thought he'd actually gotten to sleep. Until he turned to look at her.
"I… are you…" she stopped.
"The folder?" Sandy asked.
Kirsten sighed deeply. "Yea" she admitted.
"Do you really want to…?"
"She said it might help us.. understand where he's coming from. I want to understand where he's coming from Sandy. I want to help him" she pleaded.
"Yeah… me too" he sighed.
They both shared a look, the light reflecting in their eyes.
"We could.." Kirsten suggested… "I mean.. now"
"It's not like we can sleep anyways… right?" Sandy added.
She smiled wistfully.
Sandy hopped out of bed, closing their door quietly and hitting the light switch on. He opened the top drawer of their night stand, removing a plain thick filing folder.
The tab was labelled 'Atwood, Ryan'. He set it on the bed in front of himself and Kirsten, closed.
"This isn't… wrong is it?" Kirsten questioned.
"I'm sure that… in some way it is but.. we mean well." Sandy pointed out.
"Can you open it, Sandy?" Kirsten asked him.
Sandy reached over and flipped the file folder open. It was time to learn a little more about their son.
……………………………..
Ryan couldn't sleep. He was too busy planning.
Brainstorming.
Somehow.. and he wasn't quite sure how yet, he had to help that poor family. The Symingtons. He needed to tell them that he was sorry. Sorry for everything that had happened, that Dawn had done. That AJ had done.
But how was it, exactly, you were supposed to help someone who had just lost fifty percent of their family?
He needed a plan.
He was no good with plans. They never worked out. And he always seemed to get caught.
Ryan needed Seth.
He scrambled off the bed quickly. This couldn't wait until tomorrow. Seth would understand.
……………………………………..
Seth lay awake, staring out his window in to the night sky. He had an amazing view.. in the daylight hours. You could see the beach and the ocean. The whole backyard.
Right now all you could see was black, minus the slight glow of the light in the pool.
Seth needed a plan.
He had to figure out how he could help Ryan. He needed to show Ryan that, no matter what, he would always be here for him, he would always have his back.
He needed to show Ryan that having him as a brother, was the best thing that had ever happened to Seth.
But how did you help someone that was so closed off, he couldn't cry for his mother? How did you help someone with Ryan's background, who'd lost his father and brother to jail, and his mother to the roadway?
Maybe he could just go… talk to Ryan.
Seth threw back his covers and rolled off the bed quietly, as to not wake his parents.
Walking slowly down the stairs and through the kitchen. This whole sneaking around in the darkness thing was kind of amusing.
Just as he'd finished the thought Seth felt something bang against his shins, and the next thing he knew he was lying face first on the couch.
"Ow" he whispered in to the darkness.
"Seth?" Ryan's voice came from the darkness.
Seth rolled over so fast he flew off the couch, and on to the floor.
"Dammit" he cursed, "Ryan?" he asked back to the darkness.
"Yeah" Ryan replied.
"You're smiling!" Seth pointed out, he could hear it in Ryan's voice, "You're laughing at me and I just like.. smashed my shin to pieces and face planted the floor!"
"Very smooth, Seth. Do yourself a favour and never be a cat burglar" Ryan joked.
"What are you doing up, anyways?" Seth demanded, "You're supposed to be sleeping"
"You are too" Ryan shot back.
"Yeah, well, I as coming to see if you were awake"
"Obviously"
"And what are you doing up?" Seth asked. "Midnight munchies?"
"Actually… I was coming to talk to you?" he sounded embarrassed.
"Aww.. really Ry? I am touched… honestly, I am. Now could you like, uhm tell me if I'm going to walk in to something again?"
There was a soft click, and then Seth was covered in light. He looked up.
"So that's your secret" Seth nodded, "Flashlight, very smooth"
"I find that I run in to less things this way" Ryan joked, offering him a hand up.
Seth took it.
…………………………………
"Look at these test scores, Sandy! They're incredible!" Kirsten pointed out, handing him a sheet.
"Yeah, that I knew, take a look at class marks though" he handed her another paper.
Kirsten made a face, "What is it with boys and trying? Really!"
"We don't like people having high expectations" Sandy teased.
"Is that why you still leave the seat up.." she countered.
"Of course"
Kirsten reached over and smacked him playfully.
"It says here that our Ryan.. enjoyed school plays when he was younger" Sandy read out loud. It was a report done by a case worker some odd years ago.
It covered the child's interests and responses to questions to measure stability and mood.
"Soccer and baseball too" Kirsten pointed out.
"His favourite book was Shiloh" Sandy snickered.
"What's so funny about that?" Kirsten demanded, "That was my favourite book too!"
Sandy shrugged, "I don't remember reading anything past the age of six, really" Sandy admitted.
"Everything seemed so… normal for him until… what grade is this, can you read that?" Kirsten pointed to a small box.
"I think it's a three"
"Grade three" Kirsten sighed. "He had a few good years as a child and then…"
Sandy sighed.
"Sandy, I don't think I want to… to see anymore. There's just some things… some things that I'm not sure I want to know he went through. I'm not sure if I could look him in the eye if I saw everything."
"No, I agree. It doesn't matter anyways. Ryan is Ryan. We love him, and that's that. We don't need to know everything about him."
Kirsten nodded, throwing the sheets back in to the folder. Social worker interviews, therapist interviews, teacher statements, treating doctor statements and pictures…she shoved them all back in to the folder and handed it to Sandy, who promptly tossed the pile of paper in to the fire place logs.
He shot a look at Kirsten and she nodded.
Sandy flipped the switch on, watching Ryan's past burn away.
It didn't matter anyways now. He was here with them.
…………………………………..
They both ended up at the beach.
It had begun as a walk, them just chatting the time away, and eventually they had found direction. Now they were sitting in the sand, listening to the waves lap up towards their feet.
"I think I have sand in my underpants" Seth remarked.
Ryan eyed him quizzically.
"So.. why were you coming to get me, anyways?" Seth managed to finally ask.
Seth had followed his plan. He had chatted Ryan up with witty banter, inserting a few serious remarks here and there.
"I… need a plan. I'm no good with them, I always get caught" Ryan sighed.
"Uh, buddy… I'm not sure if maybe the smoke got to your head but… my last plan resulted in you being arrested and the burning of my mother's house.
Ryan nodded, "Good point"
"Irrelevant nonetheless, I am Seth the Master Planner, how can I help you?"
There was only silence for a few moments, then, "The car, that my mom hit… there was a family in it, two of them died and… and I want to.. to help Josh and Phillip… somehow… but I don't know how.."
"Josh and Phillip?" Seth asked.
"Josh is like, seven, Phillip was the husband of Rae, and April was their daughter."
"I.. get the picture" Seth told him. "So you want to.. help these people, but why?"
"Why did you want to help me? Wasn't that your plan tonight?" Ryan asked him.
"Uhh.. yeah, except that.. my plans are supposed to be like, private, and in my head, that' s just creepy Ryan"
"I'm not stupid Seth. There was intent written all over your face"
"I see.. well, did it work? My plan I mean?"
Ryan chuckled, "Yeah Seth, it worked… I feel loved now, no worries"
Seth began shaking his head, grinning, "Hey, I didn't say anything about love there Ryan.. don't get me wrong –"
Ryan picked up a handful of sand and tossed it at him.
"Oh..oh, now I know there's sand in my pants…"
Ryan grinned, digging out another shell and tossing it back in to the water.
"You know, if you keep doing that the poor sand crabs wont have any new homes to go to."
"Right" Seth continued. "Plan, we need a plan"
"We?"
"Yeah, we. I'm gonna help. We need a plan" he yawned loudly.
"Maybe we should sleep on the plan" Ryan suggested.
Seth checked his watch, " I think I have to concur"
Ryan snorted and got up slowly, trying to stay balanced on the sand with one arm, "concur?" he asked Seth when he was finally standing.
"Yeah, it mean to agree with.. and mom and dad think you're the smart one?"
"You're right, you're much more of a smartass than I am" Ryan taunted.
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