Facing the Past
Chapter Eighteen
Ryan sat in the hospital waiting room beside Kirsten, Seth and Sandy. Catherine had insisted Sammy be taken to the hospital, she was outside making a few calls right now.
As a precaution, she had said. Ryan knew it was now her ass on the line if something was seriously wrong with Sammy, since Lorraine and Mark had taken off.
The past few hours were somewhat of a blur. After Sandy had called Catherine on her cell phone to report the situation a silence had settled over them all.
Ryan shifted in his chair, his glance never leaving the tile of the hospital floor. They were back at Chino Valley Med Centre, a place that in Ryan's opinion, he never wanted to be again. Hurt or not.
Catherine had let the Cohens drive him to the hospital, due to lack of transportation means. She took Case and Klara, who had screamed and cried when her and Ryan had been separated.
Ryan had wanted to tell Sandy to keep driving. Not to go to the hospital, not to follow Catherine in. But he knew it wasn't likely to happen, so he'd kept his mouth shut.
So far nothing had been said as to what would happen with the four kids. Their lives, it seemed, were hanging in the balance.
Sandy and Kirsten had told him of Phillip's visit and the fact that they were in the midst of preparing adoption papers for him.
In the midst were the key words. Not yet completed, Ryan told himself. He didn't want to get his hopes up. What were the chances the adoption would be approved anyways? With his past in Newport. What were the chances the adoption wouldn't take a year or more? With all the legal documents having to be filed and taken care of.
A lone figure approached them, Ryan didn't have to look up to know it was Catherine.
"Maybe we should go somewhere and talk" she directed to Sandy and Kirsten.
Ryan lifted his head to look at them, their expressions were bewildered.
His hopes climbed. Maybe she had to talk to them because she'd decided Ryan could stay with them for now?
He pushed the thought away, trying to forget it to save himself the disappointment if it didn't happen. The thought remained as Kirsten and Sandy stood to follow her.
"Maybe it's good news" Seth countered, but unlike Ryan who had been checking out the floor, he had seen Catherine's face when she had spoke with his parents.
Ryan didn't say anything.
"You know, as a Cohen you learn a few things" Seth began, looking over at his brother.
Ryan seemed defeated.
"Like eavesdropping" Seth suggested.
Ryan looked up, raising his eyebrows. Seth smiled and promptly stood. "Lets go" he said.
………………………………
They had been lucky, the three adults had left the door to the small office open.
" – feel that at the moment, no decision is to be made, even considering your current actions against Child Services" Catherine was saying.
"You think we're going against you?" Sandy asked, incredulous.
"Well, you are completely appealing our decision as to Ryan's placement, and even manoeuvring around us for the adoption. But that is besides the point. Right now it's" there was a pause, " After four in the morning. We're all tired and a little emotional right now, the only option is to place Ryan and the rest of the children in the group centre"
"Like a shelter" Kirsten put in, angrily.
"It's a very structured environment" Catherine defended.
"And how long are we suppose to leave Ryan there?"
"He'll be there until another placement is found, or until your adoption is finalized, assuming a judge will approve it" Catherine replied.
"He called us, when he needed help, doesn't that say anything?" Kirsten cried.
Ryan pulled himself away from the door at this point, pressing himself against a wall.
He knew it. There was no hope for him. He had screwed everything up.
He wanted to sink to the floor and give up.
Seth followed his movements, nudging him in the side, "We gotta go, they're coming to get us" he said.
Ryan looked at him and could see the disappointment, the hurt, written all over Seth's face as well.
"We could still talk" Seth said, once they had gotten back to the black plastic chairs.
Ryan didn't even admit a response.
A group centre. It sounded almost like juvie, minus the cells.
"I need to go to the washroom" Ryan told Seth, standing up. None of the adults had returned from their 'meeting'.
And Ryan didn't want to be anywhere near the hospital when they did.
If he went now, and went fast, he was sure he could get back to the house and grab a few things like clothes before he took off.
"You're running away, aren't you?" Seth asked.
He knew this Ryan.
Ryan froze, and Seth made a decision. "Go" he told him.
He didn't want to see his brother placed in a centre. He didn't want to see him on the streets either, but at least that was what Ryan seemed to want.
He had to help him.
"I'll cover for you" Seth said, standing and pulling out his wallet.
"Seth –" Ryan began, backing away.
Seth handed him the small stack of twenties in his wallet, then hesitated. He added his bank card. "Take it" he said, holding up his hands, "Checking, the PIN is 'Summer'.
Ryan stared at him, silent for a moment. "I can't –"
"You need it more than I do right now. I know you're good for it, you'll pay it back as soon as we get you home. Until then, you take that money and you disappear. Keep in touch" he told his brother, holding out his knuckles.
Ryan bumped them with his own, then without another thought took off down the hall.
Seth sat back down in the chairs, waiting for his parents' return.
………………………………………
The sun was shining on to a hazy Chino by the time Ryan was leaving on a bus. He had taken a taxi from the hospital, grabbing one that was waiting already.
According to the taxi driver, Ryan's name was now 'Chris'.
He had made it to the house and quickly thrown his things in to his army duffel, grabbing a loaf of bread from the kitchen on his way out. He wasn't sure where he was going, yet, and didn't know when he'd be eating next.
Ryan had almost made it to the taxi before he remembered the two wallets on the kitchen table. He ran back to grab them both and made his way back to the waiting driver.
He sat at the bus station now, staring at the departure board, unsure of where to go. He only knew he should go quickly.
If he made it out of Chino, chances were that Child Services would never find him. He would slip through the cracks.
…………………………………….
The ride home was anything but silent for Seth.
"They just don't realise that kids like Ryan will simply slip through the cracks, disappear and start living on the streets" Sandy was ranting up front.
Kirsten was silently agreeing, making an odd noise in her throat every once in awhile.
"He'll be back, he just went to the washroom" Seth had lied when his parents and Catherine had returned to where he was sitting.
It was ten minutes later he offered to check on him.
He stayed in the washrooms for another fifteen before he had gone back to report Ryan was missing. "I checked all the washrooms" Seth had told them. He hoped Ryan had a good enough head start.
Seth didn't want to let on he knew anything about Ryan's disappearance. The less people he told, the less chance they had of finding him.
It was like old times, only this time Ryan wasn't hiding out in one of his mom's developments.
His parents waited until they got home to start with him. They railroaded him in the kitchen, grabbing a glass of milk.
"You know where he is, Seth!" Kirsten accused, at the same time pleading.
"Seth, you have to tell us where he is. You can get in a lot of trouble this time" Sandy put in. "He can get in a lot of trouble, he broke his probation – again"
Seth rolled his eyes, "More trouble than he was in when he burnt down your house, mom?"
"you do know where he is!" Sandy's eyes nearly popped out of his skull.
Seth sighed. "I don't, actually. Not yet, but I was covering for him" he cringed at his parents looks, "And I may have given him some money" he countered.
Sandy enveloped him in a hug, taking out his wallet he handed a few fifties to Seth, "When you see him, give this to Ryan."
"uhh, dad, I'm not sure if I will be seeing Ryan"
"Don't be an idiot" Kirsten told him, "Ryan loves us, he trusts us, he wouldn't go far."
Seth wasn't sure whether she was trying to convince him, or herself.
…………………………………….
Ryan couldn't believe he was doing this.
Heading back to Newport. But in all reality, it was probably one of the last places Social Services would check, if only because it was such an obvious answer.
He would stay down around the numbered streets of Newport, maybe stay at a motel for a few days, see how things were going.
The plan had been formulated on his bus trip to Newport, which had taken nearly two hours due to it's stops in other cities.
He could call Seth. He might even, after feeling them out, be able to talk to Kirsten and Sandy, let them know he was safe.
Maybe he could see Marissa. God, how he wanted to see Marissa.
…………………………...............
Sandy waited for the man to come on the line, impatiently. It had been a few days since Ryan had disappeared. He didn't even think Seth, who was moping around the house, had seen or talked to him.
"hello?" a voice asked, picking up the line.
"Is this Phillip Symington?" Sandy asked,
"Yea it is" Phillip replied.
"Great, this is Sandy Cohen –"
"Sandy, great to hear from you" Phillip replied happily.
"Yeah… so I was wondering how long it would take for the papers to go through" Sandy countered.
"I see you are a man who doesn't beat around the bush" Phil laughed, "I'm pushing it through as fast as I can Sandy, I really am"
Sandy swallowed, "Could you… could you push faster, I'm not sure how much time we have"
"What do you mean, is everything okay with Ryan?"
"Well… he has… he disappeared" Sandy began to explain the situation.
"I'll do what I can Sandy, no worries there. Can you let me know when you hear from him… if you hear from him?" Phillip corrected himself.
Sandy sighed, "Yea, I figure the whole world will hear our screams of joy when we hear from him anyways"
"You're worried about him"
"I…. I can't even sleep decently at night" Sandy admitted to this half stranger.
"I know the feeling, I get it when ever Josh stays over at a friend's house" Phil laughed.
Sandy smiled, "That's the one" he admitted.
"Look Sandy, I'll talk to a few people, see what I can do. Call me in a couple days, okay?"
"Sure" Sandy said, hanging up the phone and fixing his gaze on the clock above his door.
……………………………………
"Dad, we need to talk" Kirsten said entering Caleb's office and closing the door behind her.
"If this is another setback with the new development Kiki –"
"Nothing to do with business, dad"
Caleb's face fell in to a frown, "What is it then?"
Kirsten took a deep breath, "Ryan" she finally let out.
Kirsten hadn't been able to sleep a sound night since he'd disappeared. Kids weren't supposed to live on streets, they were supposed to live in safe, happy homes.
"That kid that burned down the development to begin with?" Caleb questioned.
"Dad" Kirsten said sternly, "Look, that kid, as you call him, has been my family's glue for the past few months. For some reason, he's kept everything together, with him gone it's like… it's like we'll never be a family again, like after mom died" Kirsten explained.
Caleb was listening now.
"He ran away, he didn't want to go in to a group home, so he took off almost a week ago now, Sandy and I are in the midst of the adoption papers –"
"You're adopting him?!" Caleb questioned surprised, "He burns down your house and you decide to keep him, and without even consulting me –"
"Dad!" Kirsten raised her voice, "This isn't about you, it's not about some stupid development, it's about my… it's about Sandy's and my son. We want him home, now. We're expecting that Seth will hear from him in a couple days, and it would be great if when he called, we could tell him that he has a home to go to."
"And what do you want me to do about it?"
"Dad, you know people. Our papers are being held up by Ryan's social worker, she doesn't understand the whole situation…. I've never asked for your help before dad, and I'm asking now, please, Sandy, Seth and I really, really need your help"
……………………………………………….
Ryan sat in the wet sand wearing clean jeans and a wifebeater. He had just finished his laundry at the coin place and returned it to the small cheap room he was staying in.
It was on the outskirts of Newport, a cheap little hotel that wasn't necessarily clean, but a place he could sleep.
It had been a week or so since he had left the hospital and run away. Tonight would have to be the last night at the hotel, he knew. He didn't want to use up too much of Seth's money.
Ironically, tomorrow it was supposed to rain. He'd only ever seen it rain one other time since he'd come to Newport. The California sun here was as dependable as old Faithful.
The majority of Ryan's days had been spent trying to find small odd jobs around town to do. There weren't very many, but he had a few regulars now.
He broke down boxes for a couple places and tied them up for recycling. Another guy got him to pass out fliers for his new restaurant, or pick up the strewn garbage from parking lots.
It was a few bucks here and there that fed him, or did his laundry.
He missed everyone. Could feel the ache in his bones when he thought about them. It seemed worse now than it had before. Maybe it was the fact that he was so close to them, and yet so far away.
He skipped another shell in to the ocean, a pastime he'd had since coming here. Something to do with his hands, mainly.
He thought of Seth, who would probably be at school right now. At school with Summer and Marissa. He wondered how they were. How Sandy and Kirsten were.
He even wondered how Sammy, Klara and Case were dealing with their new lives.
Ryan bit his lip. Maybe he could… call them. Just a quick call to Seth, to see how the kid was doing. Let him know that he was okay.
He smiled wistfully at the thought of Seth's banter and witty jokes. He smiled even more at the thought of Marissa's beautiful face.
Ryan stood, brushing the sand from himself and made his way to a payphone. Just a quick call, Ryan told himself. That was safe.
…………………………………………..
He wasn't sure how Seth had talked him in to meeting him. Well, Ryan figured it may have had something to do with Marissa, whom he had promised to bring along.
He was at the pier now, leaning on the railing and staring out in to the Pacific. Great for ideas, he thought, remembering the map Seth had given to him when he was first leaving.
Ryan heard a loud thumping sound one the dock behind him, he turned paranoid towards it and found himself covered with Marissa, who was now clinging to his neck, her head buried on his shoulder.
Ryan smiled, nodding his head at Seth and Summer who stood behind Marissa.
"Hey man" Seth greeted when Marissa finally let go of his brother.
They bumped knuckles.
"Chino" Summer greeted. Ryan noticed her hand was intertwined with Seth's. They both seemed happy.
"God Ryan, I didn't think I'd ever see you again!" Marissa told him, clutching his arm.
"Hey, remember what I-" Seth began
"yea, yea, no lectures" Summer repeated, rolling her eyes.
Ryan grinned, it was so good to see them. It felt like it had been years. He squeezed Marissa's hand.
"So, Ryan, if we can convince you to come, there's this dinner thing tonight at our place –"
"I don't know Seth"
"It'll be fine, the 'rents already know that I know… well you know. It's safe" Seth finished lamely.
"How come we weren't invited to this dinner?" Summer asked suddenly.
Seth tilted his head and looked up at the sky.
"Summer, I don't think anyone but Seth knew about the dinner tonight" Marissa smiled sweetly, catching on.
"Okay, you caught me… Ryan?" he asked, pleadingly.
Ryan was still hesitant.
"You know, you could always just take off again if you don't like it!" Seth pointed out, jokingly.
Ryan shrugged, "Alright, I'm starved anyways. Free food"
"And Mom's not cooking" Seth pointed out, a look came across his face then, "Oh, I'm supposed to give you this, from Sandy. I'm sorry man, it's been through the wash a couple times… I've just been keeping it in my pocket, just in case…" he handed Ryan an envelope.
Ryan peeked inside and immediately handed it back to Seth. "I can't, sorry"
"Fine, you keep it until tonight, then explain to Sandy why you can't take it" Seth smiled at him.
Ryan glared, following them towards the parking lot.