Disclaimer: The lyrics to this song are from "Harbor" by Vienna Teng, whom I cannot use enough, from the album "Warm Strangers."
We're here where the daylight
begins
the fog on the streetlight
slowly thins
Lucy Hals sat, staring at her lover from across the breakfast table. She silently watched him eating the eggs she had cooked for him and admired every curve of his face. He was so handsome. How had she ever ended up with someone so handsome?
She knew he was leaving. Last night, his beeper had gone off and the look in his eyes had told her everything that she needed to know. He was going somewhere dangerous to do things that he would never tell her about. She wasn't a fool. She knew what he did. But he needed to keep her separate from that world and she needed to be the one to give him what he needed. All the other stuff didn't matter.
Water on water's
the way
the safety of shoreline
fading away
She had watched Hoot all morning. The way he had tried to play it off as just another day and gone about his morning routine as he always had, but Lucy had known. It was written in his every movement, his very eyes, and the way he looked at her, like it could be the last time he looked at her.
He wouldn't be able to tell her where he was going, she was used to that. He wouldn't be able to tell her when he was coming back, she was used to that. But she could never get used to not knowing whether he was going to come back or not. But she accepted this life because it gave her him. She knew that this was what he needed to do. Hoot had a deeper love for his country than anybody she had ever known.
Sail your sea
meet your storm
all I want
is to be your harbor
"When do you leave?" she asked plainly.
Hoot looked up from his plate. His face showed no surprise at her question. He knew she wasn't stupid. "I get briefed this morning when I get to base. I'll know departure time by tonight."
That meant that by the end of the week, he would be gone again. And, Lucy would once again be waiting for him to return, just like she always had and she always would. It should have been harder for her to wait for him, but it wasn't. When you know someone is the one for you, it's not hard to wait for them. She practically flew from her seat and into his arms.
The light in me
will guide you home
all I want
is to be your harbor
"You come home to me, you hear." she said as she held on as tightly as she could to his neck and felt his own arms fasten around her waist. "Don't be brave. I know all your crap about leave no man behind and all that bullshit, and it's all well and good, but YOU come back to me!"
Hoot stroked her hair and kissed her neck. She felt his warm breath against her throat as he said, "I'll come back, baby. You don't even need to worry about that. I could never leave you."
It was about that point when the tears began to run down her cheeks.
Fear is the brightest
of signs
the shape of the boundary
you leave behind
Every time it was there, rumbling around in the pit of her gut like a parasite. The fear that he might not come back this time. He had always come back, but she had always been afraid.
"Hey," she heard Hoot coo into her ear. He pushed her back a little so she was sitting on his lap, looking down at him. "None of this," he said, brushing her tears away with his thumbs, "all right. I'll be home before you know it."
Lucy looked into his eyes as he spoke. His beautiful, soulful eyes. She didn't want him to go. She didn't want him to go somewhere he could be killed. She wanted him to stay here with her, where he was safe.
So sing all your questions
to sleep
the answers are out there
in the drowning deep
She clung to him with every bit of strength she had in her. She wanted to take in everything. His scent, his touch, his face, his breath, those little curls in his hair...she wanted it all. She wanted to drink it all in and save it for the coming months that she would be without him.
Sail your sea
meet your storm
all I want
is to be your harbor
"Do I really have to let you go?" she asked.
Hoot chuckled deeply and warmly and pulled her from him again so he could cup her face in his hands. "You never have to let me go, darlin'."
She couldn't help but smile at that. He always knew what to say to make her smile. Sometimes it pissed her off, because she couldn't stay mad at him for anything.
The light in me
will guide you home
all I want
is to be your harbor
"Please don't worry, Luce." he said, "You're the only thing that keeps me sane."
Lucy kissed him on the nose, "You're sane?"
Hoot smiled, big and bright, "Well, halfway sane anyways."
You've got a journey
to make
there's your horizon
to chase
Lucy stood up from his lap and began clearing the table. It was almost time for him to head to the base. He would go off and have his adventures, but he would always come back to her. She didn't need to know where he went or what he did, as long as she knew that he would always come back to her.
So go far beyond
where we stand
no matter the distance
I'm holding your hand
"I'll miss you." she said without looking at him.
"You know it's going to be fine, right?"
"No. But, I'll be right here when you get home."
"Hey, Luce."
She turned to face him, "What?"
"You are my home."
Sail your sea
meet you storm
all I want
is to be your harbor
That was all that she needed to hear in order to feel better. Hoot walked over to her and, placing his hands at the nape of her neck, he kissed her. He kissed her as though it were the last time he would ever get to kiss her and she responded with everything she had in her.
The light in me
will guide you home
all I want
is to be your harbor
Yes. She would be there waiting for him to come back to her. He had given her his word that he would come back, and Hoot always kept his word.
Sail your sea
meet your storm
all I want
is to be your harbor
Lucy watched Hoot get into his jeep and back out of the drive, his favorite Okley sunglasses securely in place. How he made those ugly glasses look so damn good, she'll never know. She had to let him go and play the hero that she knew he was. He had a need to defend his country and come whenever they called him, just as he had many times before. But, every time...
The light in me
will guide you home
all I want
is to be your harbor
He had always come back to her, his home.
The End