Facing the Past
A/N: Hey guys… so this is it, last chapter. I just wanted to say thank you for all the reviews, compliments or input, they all helped me write this story. You wouldn't believe how happy new reviews make me!
So thanks to all who stayed with me for the entire story. I know that there were some… technicalities, but I tried…
Btw..Sorry about Shiloh, wink, wink You know who you are……
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Chapter Twenty- Two
Seth sat at the kitchen counter, drumming his thumbs nervously on the counter top until Summer reached over and slapped his hand.
"Sorry" he apologized absently, pausing for a moment then starting again.
"What's the deal with you, Cohen?" Summer demanded.
Seth stared off, coming to when persistent snapping clouded his vision. "What?" he asked, glancing at Summer.
She folded her arms, "What's the deal. You're wound tighter than….well something that's wound tightly" she finished lamely.
He nodded, "Yes, because, you may not be aware of it, but you have… amazingly bad timing Summer"
"How so?" she demanded.
"Catherine… Ryan's Social worker, she's on her way to finalize adoption papers for Ryan. You think she's gonna do that when she sees what state he's in?" he bobbed his head unconsciously, now twitching his leg as well.
"I'll just explain –" she began.
Seth shook his head negatively, "I think she's heard enough explanations. I don't think she'll listen Summer… you could try but.."
"Wait, you guys are adopting Ryan?" Marissa butted in.
"Well, we were going to anyways. We've been working on it since he was taken away and put in to that despicable place they called a group home"
"Hey, did those jerks ever show up again?" Summer wondered aloud.
Seth shrugged, "Not my business, no one ever thought to inform me"
"Hey" Ryan greeted, walking unsteadily in to the kitchen after his shower, "What's with Kirsten and Sandy?" Ryan asked.
"Hey Ry. I have to say that with all the sand and blood washed off… you still look like crap" Seth told him, avoiding the question.
"Thanks" he said dryly, pulling up a chair as his stomach rumbled.
"Hungry?" Seth asked, jumping up from his stool.
Ryan studied him, "Yea" he admitted.
"Cereal?"
"Sure. But I can get it"
"Don't be ridiculous, you're injured, look at you"
Ryan narrowed his gaze, "Seth. What's going on?"
Seth turned away and began digging through the cupboards, "Mom finally got me that Sugar Crisp" Seth avoided an answer, "Wanna try?"
"Seth" Ryan warned.
His brother finally turned around, holding a yellow box to his chest.
"What's going on?" he questioned again, noticing the girls shying away from his gaze, and Seth's nervous posture.
"Catherinesonherway" Seth explained in a rush, turning back to the cupboard to grab a bowl.
"And you didn't think to let me know this before I took a nice relaxing shower?"
"Need to know basis" Seth replied shortly.
Ryan snorted, "She's coming to take me away, and you don't think I need to know?" he demanded, standing up.
"She was on her way before you even got here" Seth admitted, turning around to face him again.
"What for?" Ryan asked.
Seth chewed his lip for a moment, "To sign adoption papers" he watched emotions fleeting across Ryan's face as he began taking steps backwards.
"Where are you going?" Seth demanded.
"She can't see me like this. I've got to get out of here –"
"Maybe she will. If we just explain it to her!" Seth exploded.
"She's not interested in explanations Seth! You know that from the hospital!"
"So, what? You're going to run away again? Go find someone else to beat you up?! You can't just… just run away from your problems Ryan! Ignoring them makes them worse!"
Ryan hadn't heard Seth raise his voice many times, it sent shivers up his spine this time. "And what do you propose?" he demanded angrily.
"Face them, like everyone else!" Seth shot back.
"Like everyone else?" Ryan asked, sceptical look across his face. "Cause we all know Marissa deals with her problems head on, Right? That's why she drinks so much and almost died in TJ! And then there's Summer who just ignores them, and you Seth, who doesn't have any problems!" he was breathing hard now. He shouldn't have said it, he knew. As soon as the words were out he knew he should have kept quiet.
Sandy and Kirsten, he noticed, were standing in the doorway now.
Ryan couldn't help but continue. "Everyone here. In Newport, they're all fakers. You don't know anything about facing a problem, do you Seth? What problems have you faced?"
"You!" Seth yelled back. "When you first got here, I was scared shitless of you, but I faced that, didn't I? I was scared shitless of talking with Summer, but I did that too! And now.. now I'm afraid that you're going to run away, and mess up your whole life, but here I am, standing and screaming at you! Facing my problem, my fear!"
"Facing a fear isn't the same as facing a problem!" Ryan shot back, lowering his voice and trying to regain control, composure, of himself.
"Bull shit! They're the same thing!" Seth dropped his voice an octave, staring at Ryan. He wasn't moving, an wasn't speaking, but he was paying attention.
"They are the exact same thing" Seth continued, "Because the only reason there's a problem in the first place is because of a fear! But you, Ryan, you just skip past that and run away from everything just so you don't have to face what ever it is you're afraid of. What are you afraid of, Ryan? People who care about you? Like me? Like mom and dad? Like Summer and Marissa? Is that what you're afraid of?" he faced Ryan down.
Ryan clenched his jaw, squeezing his hands in to fists, then letting them relax again. He continued to stare at Seth Cohen, the seemingly innocent boy who had become his brother over the past few months. The same one who had just completely undermined Ryan's façade.
He turned to leave, reaching the hallway before Seth's voice and body followed.
"What is it, Ryan? Come on, now's the time to face your fear, just like me" his voice was patronizing and supportive at the same time.
He turned on his heel, quickly, and Seth was surprised to see tears in his eyes. He hesitated, thinking maybe he'd done the wrong thing. He hadn't meant to make Ryan cry. He didn't want to see Ryan cry. It was so… it just wasn't like him. It was almost disturbing.
Ryan brushed his cheeks with the back of his hand quickly, and the emotion on his face disappeared instantly. Seth did a double take, unsure he'd ever seen it in the first place.
"Look.." Seth began slowly, "I didn't mean.. well you know what I kind of did mean everything I said, I just didn't want you to hear it like that. My point is.." he hesitated, "My point, Ryan, is that you don't need to be afraid of people caring about you… it's just stupid…"
"Why do you even bother, Seth?" Ryan asked quietly.
At first Seth thought he'd screwed up, pushed Ryan even further away.
"Why do you bother when you know I'm a bad person?"
Seth couldn't help it, he laughed. He laughed loudly, strongly, leaving a shocked looking Ryan standing there, fists at his side. "Ryan, you're not a bad person. You think you're a bad person? Why the hell would you think that?"
He appeared confused for a minute, "I stole a car"
"Trey talked you in to it" Seth shrugged.
"I fight"
"Because you have some hero complex thing. You at least fight for the… well… acceptable reasons anyway"
" I stole money from two people, in Chino"
Seth paused for a moment, "Well, I didn't' know that, but why did you steal them?"
"It doesn't matter, it was wrong"
"You know, you're so focussed on trying to punish yourself that you don't realise sometimes, there are acceptable circumstances to make mistakes. Everyone does!"
"I'm sure Janice and Gary don't feel that way"
"Uh, Gary and Janice?" Seth asked, confused now.
"The people I stole from" Ryan put in.
Seth grinned, "You know who you stole from?" he asked.
"Well, not before I looked in their wallets" he admitted.
"Do you.. do you still have the wallets?" Seth asked.
"Why?" Ryan demanded, defensive.
"You do, don't you! You kept them for some stupid reason, what were you gonna like, send their wallets back to them or something?" Seth laughed out loud.
Ryan gave him a look, and he stopped laughing, "You were, weren't you? I bet you were even…. Ryan you're such a goody two-shoes you'd probably send back the wallets with twice as much money in them than you got!"
"It wasn't right to do. They should get something for their trouble.."
Seth snorted in laughter, bending over and holding his side, "Oh my god… oh my side, it hurts so…" he began shaking his head.
"What's so funny?" Ryan demanded.
"You. Ryan. You and your perception of your own evilness or whatever" he shook his head, beginning to catch his breath now.
They were both interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.
A look of panic descended on to Ryan's face, and Seth closed the gap between them, patting him on the shoulder, "Relax Ry." He simply said.
And Ryan knew. Knew that no matter what happened, Seth would be there for him, to fight for him and support him.
Seth opened the door widely, letting Catherine in. When she spotted Ryan she stopped mid-step, mid-word.
"Can I talk to you?" Ryan asked not waiting for her to speak, surprising Seth. Surprising himself.
"Uh.. y.. yes of course" Catherine stuttered.
Ryan offered a weak smile.
"Do you… have somewhere private you want to –"
"No" Ryan shrugged, "Time to face my fears" he added quietly to himself.
"What?" Catherine asked, confused.
"Everyone's in the kitchen" Ryan told her.
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Ryan stared down at the forms in front of him, nervously. He gripped the pen tightly in his hand, anxiety leaking through his chest.
Kirsten placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry" she said quietly.
He turned, "For what?"
"For this" she waved her hand, "You don't –"
"No. S'okay" he offered a tentative smile.
She smiled back, Sandy clasped him on the shoulder as he turned back to the government forms.
"You don't have to, you know." Sandy added.
"I want to. It's… better this way"
It was three days after they had all met with Catherine. She hadn't been too pleased with his injuries, and they'd all attempted to explain them away.
She still hadn't seemed so impressed at the time, and now here he was.
"Sometimes it's best to hold on to the past" Kirsten continued.
Ryan turned, "No. This is supposed to be a new start, right?" he asked, letting out a breath.
They both smiled back at him and he turned back to the papers, clicking the pen open he signed his signature where applicable.
Sandy took the papers when he was finished, making sure he'd gotten them all. He was unable to ignore the fresh signature in blue ink.
Ryan Cohen.
Sandy felt his face split with a smile as he handed the clerk the name change forms, resting an arm across Ryan's shoulders.
"You still have to see a judge" Sandy warned his son.
Ryan grinned, "After what's happened lately?" he asked, "Piece of cake"
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All done! At least for now… maybe when I come up with another ridiculous scenario to continue the story I will, lol, but it'll begin under a different title.
For now, I'm brainstorming other stories, so you all can read and review those!!