Believe Me, I'll Be There

Chapter 3 – I wish this hadn't happened

Disclaimer: I'm sure you all know this, as this is my *counting* 28th time writing this, but I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls or any book, author, or movie references. I'm also not associated with any colleges or universities.

A/N: Hey, I hope you all like this. Thanks for the reviews so far, and please review if you haven't! More should be up soon, because it was really cold where I live and yesterday and today it was in the 60s, so the teachers decided not to give us homework today, so all I have to do is decide how exactly to write what I want to happen next. lol. Enjoy!  ~Arianna

Despite what Jess had said, I was terrified about the college applications. He rang the doorbell the next day, and I ran to the door to answer it.

"Hey, Rory," he said.

"Oh, hey, Jess."

"Waiting for someone else?" he teased, coming in.

"Oh no, it's just—"

"Your applications," Jess finished for me.

"Well, yes."

"Am I better than a letter from Yale?" I knew he wasn't asking seriously.

"Hmmm," I grinned. "About the same. Come on in." I led him to my room.

"Wow," he said, looking at all my posters of different countries and the college paraphernalia on the walls. I reached up to my shelf and handed Jess the huge dictionary.

"Yeah, it took a long time to get all this stuff." I glanced out the window. "The mail's here!" I ran outside and opened the mailbox. There was a letter for me inside. With the Princeton emblem in the corner. I took it out and opened it, shaking.

I couldn't move; I couldn't see. Jess came up behind me softly and led me into the house. He put his arms around me and pulled me close, knowing that I was hurting. I started crying, hard. Jess held me, trying to comfort me.

"Oh, Rory," he said. "Rory, it's okay."

"No, it's not!"

"Rory…" he tried again.

"I didn't get in, Jess! I didn't get in! I wasn't good enough! If I'm not good enough for Princeton, I won't even be considered for Harvard."

"That isn't true. You're good enough for anything."

"I'm not! I told myself I'd get in, I let myself hope I'd get in."

"Because you should get in."

"I didn't. That's what matters now, Jess."

"Listen, you've got a lot more to hope for than I have."

I immediately felt awful. I hated that it was true, but I guess he was kind of right. "Jess, I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. Forget it. Princeton is only one school out of three. It's not your fault they have stupid admissions directors."

I tried to smile, but couldn't. "Thanks." Then I heard a car outside. "That's my mom."

"I guess I should leave."

"You don't have to."

"Be honest."

"Okay, my mom probably would prefer if you left, but I don't want you to…"

He squeezed my shoulder gently. "It's okay."

My mom walked in right then, taking it all in: the envelope on the table, the tears on my face, Jess' arms around me.

"Rory. Jess. Uh, hi." She realized what she was seeing. "Why are you here? What's going on? Rory, what's wrong?" I felt my eyes fill with tears again.

"I came over to pick up a book—" Jess began. "And Rory…" He looked at me, not wanting to say it. Not wanting to hurt me. I appreciated that.

"I got a letter from Princeton," I said, crying.

"I'll see you later, okay?" Jess said softly. He kissed me.

"Thank you," I whispered as he left. I sat down on the couch, and Mom came to sit next to me. She picked up the letter and read it quickly.

"Rory, I'm so sorry," she said. She hugged me, and I tried not to cry again. After a while, she leaned back and asked softly, "What was Jess really doing here?"

"Picking up a book," I managed to say. "And the mail came, and…"

"What I mean is…why didn't you come to me?"

I shrugged uncomfortably. "Jess was here, and—and he was telling me that I was gonna get in…he said I was good enough for anything."

Mom sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just used to you coming to me when stuff happens, good or bad."

"If I'd gone to Dean, would you be upset?"

She hesitated. I had pretty much known she would answer like this, but it still hurt. I guess I was hurt partially for Jess, even though he didn't know.

"No," she said finally. "I guess I wouldn't. I don't think so. Rory…" She looked at me wistfully. My face was still streaked with tears. "I trusted Dean. I liked Dean. And after that car crash—"

"It wasn't his fault!"

"It wasn't yours."

"It was at least as much mine…I told him to drive, I told him to turn. He made sure I was okay. I know he would have done anything to keep me from getting hurt. I chose to go to New York. He didn't ask me to. I just missed him."

"Listen, I know. I know what it's like to really like a guy. But you should really think about what you want to happen. In the future. Next year. Who's gonna be there for you?" I stared at her. I didn't know what to say. "Rory, I don't want to argue now. I know you feel awful…but trust me. Harvard, Yale, you're guaranteed an acceptance letter."

"Thanks, Mom." She smiled slightly. "I'm gonna go read."

"Okay."

I went to my room and started reading Oliver Twist again, but I couldn't concentrate.

Jess came over to pick up a book, and I got the letter and started crying and he comforted me and Mom came home and she thought… I wished so much that she could trust Jess. She didn't believe him when he told her the truth. She needed me to confirm it.

I hated that she hated him so much. And I wasn't sure there was anything I could do to show my mom that she could trust him. It would be so hard if she hated Jess forever…I mean, Mom, Jess, and Lane are the three people in the world who mean the most to me. Lane…she doesn't hate Jess. She doesn't like Jess.

Only Luke likes him at all.

And I'm so scared about that letter.

I heard my mom's voice again, in my mind. "Why didn't you come to me…Rory, I liked Dean…What was Jess really doing here?"

I didn't know what to think. I hoped Jess was right, and I would get into Harvard and Yale. I really wished things didn't have to be so complicated, all the time…