Believe Me, I'll Be There

Chapter 6 – I won't talk, I don't want to cry

Disclaimer: You all know that I don't own Gilmore Girls. There aren't any book, movie, or college references in this chapter.

A/N: This is Jess' POV. It starts right after Jess goes upstairs, after Rory and Jess fight. I'm only writing this in Jess' POV because it's necessary for the story, or at least, I think it will make the story better. Most of the rest of the story will be in Rory's POV. I know I'm better at writing Rory than writing Jess, but please review and tell me what you think! Sorry if Jess is sort of out of character here, but I wanted to write him this way. The next chapter should be up soon, enjoy!  ~Arianna

How could that have happened? Rory really thought I'd done it. I was angry for a while. I'd promised I would stop doing stuff like that! Rory should know that I wouldn't do that to her!

Then it hit me. What I'd said. She was gonna hate me. I'd just gotten mad that she didn't trust me. I still was, but more than that, I wanted to take back what I'd said…about her not being able to survive in New York. About her not caring about people. I hated myself for making her cry. And I knew she was.

I sat on my bed, really upset, determined not to cry. By the time Luke took a break and came upstairs, I was fighting tears.

"Jess!" he said.

"Yeah?"

"What happened down there? You think you can just—"

"Just don't, okay?" I said, looking up. "It's bad enough without hearing you."

"Well, what happened to get Rory that mad at you?"

I winced. "Nothing."

"Jess, Rory wouldn't come in here and yell at you without a reason!"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Go away. Please go away. Now.

"Look, I know it's hard, but—"

"I'm fine. Just thinking. Go away." I stared at the ground, refusing to look up at Luke, knowing that if I did he'd know that I was crying.

"Okay, I'll…be downstairs. If…you need anything."

I didn't answer. After he left I covered my face with my hands and cried. Then I wiped my eyes and got up, deciding to try to forget it. I went downstairs.

"Jess?" Luke said, sounding surprised.

"Luke."

"What are you doing down here?"

"Why, what did you think I'd be doing?"

"You wanna know the truth?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Crying. You know…"

"Well, guess what, Einstein, I'm not. If I work now, I don't have to work for the rest of the week. Is there a problem?"

"I guess not. Listen, don't you—" Luke said, following me.

"No, I don't," I said, turning around. "Shut up. I'm trying to work."

"Fine." Luke went back into the kitchen.

I will not think about Rory. I will not think about Rory…damn Taylor for saying that at the town meeting. Damn this town for hating me.  I threw the cleaner I was holding on the counter. Why the heck did I believe this would last?

For the next few days, I went to school occasionally, sometimes worked in the diner. Mostly, I stayed in the apartment and read. I didn't go to the bridge because I thought Rory might be there.

On Wednesday night, Luke closed the diner and came upstairs. I was on the couch, rereading Farewell to Arms.

"Jess."

"You've been saying my name a lot lately," I remarked.

"We have to talk."

"What about?" Oh, great. Oh no.

"You've been acting…different. Ever since Saturday."

"I told you I don't wanna talk about it!"

"You don't have a choice. You need time to get over this, Jess! Rory's still in Stars Hollow, she's not gonna leave or disappear. You're going to have to see her sometime!"

"Wow, call the papers," I responded sarcastically.

"You're obviously really upset, and you didn't even act like this when you came here. Something happened that caused you and Rory to fight, now what was it?"

I can't cry now. Not in front of Luke.

"It's none of your business. And anyway, you know," I answered quietly.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be asking. And it is my business because you're my responsibility. Which is unfortunate at times. Damn it, Jess, tell me what happened!"

"Weren't you at that stupid town meeting? Apparently I stole from Doose's. Now, I was informed of that by Rory, on Saturday morning, but who cares, right?" I yelled.

"She didn't believe you?"

I felt my eyes fill with tears. "No. She didn't. And I yelled at her, and she yelled at me and that's the way it is, okay?"

"God, she really hurt you, didn't she?"

"I'm reading."

Luke grabbed my book. "Admit it."

"I'm used to people hating me." I took the book back.

"Are you scared of talking to her?"

"Since when are you so smart? Leave me alone already, would you?"

"Okay, I give up. You don't want to listen to anyone."

"You got that right."

"Yeah, and if Rory came up here right now and apologized, you wouldn't listen to her either?"

"She isn't going to," I replied in a choked voice, hoping Luke hadn't noticed.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Not unless I do." Talking was dangerous. I had no intention of showing Luke in any way how upset I actually was.

"You going to?"

"I'll take the fifth."

"Doesn't apply."

"Can't make me talk." I sort of felt better now. I didn't like Luke asking me questions like that. Rory was the only one who ever asked me questions like that…that I would answer. Forget that. Luke stared at me. "I'm going out," I said.

"It's ten-thirty."

"I'm going out," I repeated.

I think Luke saw that I wanted to be alone. "I mean it, if you aren't back in two hours—"

"You'll send out a search party? Nice to know. Bye." I got my jacket and my book, and I walked to the bridge.