Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: you know.

"S-So I guess you know, we kinda need to talk." Ranma stuttered in a low voice as the two of them walked to school. He felt her hand shake in his own.

"About what?" Akane asked nervously. Of course she wasn't dumb enough to NOT know what he was hinting about. Just because he wanted to discuss it, didn't mean she wanted to, especially in such a public place.

"Oh come on!" He stopped and jerked her around to face him. "You *got* to know what I mean!"

"I'm not a mind reader ya know!" Akane protested. "I can't tell what you wanna talk about if you don't say what you want to talk about!"

"Glad to see things back to normal." Nabiki smiled as she walked past them. "You two were really starting to scare us."

Both of the 'Soatomas' froze, their eyes larger than normal, and a nervous laugh came from Ranma. "N-n-normal. Right."

Nabiki looked over her shoulder and winked at the completely nervous, sweating couple.

"That was close." Akane breathed out a sigh of relief, as Ranma started to walk again. He tugged on her hand to speed her up.

"Yeah, I can't imagine what Nabiki would have done if she found out that we---" Ranma's mouth went dry just thinking about the word.

"If you two real couple, then you two can really prove it to Shampoo." Ranma hung his head in silent defeat as Shampoo's words flew around his mind. He had been able to avoid numerous 'attacks' from her, and even save Akane from some attacks, but this was something that he couldn't prevent.

Maybe he didn't want to?

Ranma shook his head violently, NO! That wasn't true! Even *if* he did want that from his 'wife' he'd get it the honest way, and not have to use someone else's tricks of the trade to get it!

"Hey Ranma," Nabiki hunted him down again. "I want you to sign this." She waved several papers in front of him as he balanced on his head in the dojo.

"Why? What the heck is that anyway?"

"Oh just a little something that will keep Kuno away from Akane." Ranma grumbled at the remark, just because he accidentally slipped up once in almost confessing that he worried about her when Kuno was around, meant they'd never let him live it down.

"Like I care." Ranma replied lifting himself up on his hands and doing a flip to land on his feet.

"Oh you will, especially AFTER you screw up and Ukyo finds out!" Nabiki pointed out in a half shout. "Then you'll have to PAY me to send out invitations and get the whole wedding together!"

"Okay, okay!" the pig tailed boy took the pen and signed where she instructed.

Nabiki clicked her pen, read over the document and said her thanks as she whistled out of dojo.

Ukyo sighed for the fifth time that minute. She got first place in the competition, but it was all too easy for her. It was an armature competition for first year chefs only. The people who sent her the invitation thought she was a first year chef because of her age. So once that matter was cleared up, Ukyo became a judge.

"It was so bad." The spatula wielding girl commented, "None of them tasted as good as mine." She shook her head, trying to clear the pride away and instead of a smirk, she gave a simple smile. "By now, Akane and Ranma-Honey are probably at each others throats and can't wait till I come back so they can confess."

She could picture it, Ranma saying he was through with the lies and ready to become back to her. Then Akane would be left crying in her pet piglet's bandana! Sure enough though, Ranma would want all his ex-fiancees to come to their wedding, and that would be fine with Ukyo! Finally get to show them all who the ultimate winner is in the ultimate battle!

Maybe even get Akane to babysit on Saturdays or something.

Ukyo's smile went back into smirk. Oh, life was good.

"SHAMPOO!" Ukyo knew that voice! It was Mousse, and to prove her theory, the cat girl peddled by on her bike, and a long hair Chinese man was running after her screaming at her to stop.

"Mousse go home now. Shampoo no like boys right now!" Shampoo was miffed about something, and Ukyo took off on top of the housetops to keep up with her. After the boy had ran into a light pole, Ukyo jumped in front of the bike, and its rider.

"Hey, Shampoo."

"What Spatula girl want from Shampoo now?" Defiantly something was wrong with the Amazon, although the two cooks never were buddy-buddy with one another, Shampoo was ticked off seriously.

"I came to see if you did what I asked."

The purple hair girls eye narrowed. "Shampoo did what you say, but no results that we want."

"Huh?"

Ranma scratched the back of his neck, and sighed again. "This is stupid." Throwing the comic across the room, imagine, a girl that could time travel through a well and then meet up with a half demon with dog ears, yeah right! Who dreamt this stuff up?

"Then stop reading it." Akane chirped back, too involved in her own homework and trying to ignore her 'husband'. Looking down at her math homework she about threw the book out the window.

K1=S5

It spelt----!

Akane shook her head, balled up the piece of paper and threw it into the trash.

She needed to get her mind OFF of that!

"Not that." Ranma found the end of his pigtail, got up and walked over to where the girl was. He tried to talk about it, knowing that if they didn't, someone was going to lose their sanity. It was most likely going to be him too. Akane seemed to not be bothered by it in the least.

"Then WHAT, Ranma?" The girl tried to act like she wasn't paying attention, but it was getting harder and harder. It became near impossible when he pulled up a chair and sat down right beside her at the desk.

"Don'tcha think we ought to ----discuss what happened?"

Akane froze.

Ranma found the edge of her desk very interesting at that moment.

"Why?" Her voice was soft, and she hoped against all odds that his ears wouldn't pick up on the word. But of course with *his* hearing and being so close there was a very moot chance of that happening.

"Because---it---we--," Ranma mentally kicked himself and was glad that it was in his mind instead of Akane doing the kicking. He was going to completely put himself out on a limb, and most likely was going to get it sawed off from underneath him. "Did it mean anything-----" that sounded WAY to girly for a guy like him.

"Mean anything?" Akane repeated the words, and for a moment was about to let down her rapidly crumbling wall until her pride gave her a swift kick in the pants. "It only meant that now Shampoo thinks this marriage is real, and Cologne won't go for it, so we're going to have another person to deal with."

Ranma glared at his 'wife'. It wasn't the answer he wanted to the question he didn't ask, but it wasn't something he'd thought about either. With Shampoo upset the old monkey jerky on a stick Amazon was bound to come seeking him (more precisely, his life).

"I guess you're right."

"RANMA!" Ranma almost fell out of his seat and unto the floor, he thought only Akane screamed his name like that. But apparently a very unhappy Ukyo was capable of doing the same thing as she burst through 'their' doorway with the look of death in her eyes. "HOW could you!"

"W-what? What'd I do?" Ranma started to sweat. The girl was in battle uniform and the big spatula in hand. Personally he knew mallets hurt more, but he wasn't thinking very well at that moment.

"How could you BETRAY me like this?" Ukyo growled, her narrowed eyes shifting from Ranma to Akane. "How could you KISS this HUSSY?"

"EX-cuse ME?" Akane barked back jumping to her feet.

"Ranma is to be MY husband."

"Over my dead body!"

"That can be arranged!"

Both girls started to growl at the other, neither of them making a move. Ranma stayed seated with all his body ready to jump in the middle of the fight, or at the very least remove Akane out of the way of getting hurt.

"Now, now, there's no need for all this." Nabiki, who appeared in the doorway, smiled as the group turned to look at her. "I'd hate to have my baby sister's wedding pictures come out with a black eye."

"Huh?" Was the general question.

"Don't act so innocent you two." She winked at her sister and Ranma, "You know about the upcoming ceremony."

"That means that they aren't married?" Ukyo began to get confused. Nabiki messing up in her own scams was extremely rare.

"Oh they are *legally* but we just wanted to throw them a formal wedding."

"And when does this 'happy' event take place?"

"Two days from now."

"WHAT?" Out of the four people present, the other three were able to say the one word question at the same time.

Nabiki had better have some great explanation about this! Akane seethed, turning on her heels and marching back to the desk, where she made the mistake of looking at Ranma.

Even in her anger, her memories still worked fine, and made her blush.