Believe Me, I'll Be There

Chapter 11 – We knew it, I love it

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. I don't own any books (yet. lol), and I don't own any references to authors or movies.

A/N: I won't say anything about this chapter, because I don't want to give it away, so on with the story! Thanks SO much to everyone for the reviews, you're the best! Enjoy!  ~Arianna

We walked back inside, slowly.

"So…how are you gonna decide?" my mom asked.

"I don't know…" I replied, still sort of in shock. Mom put her arm around me, smiling.

"You've got time," she said.

"Yeah…" Deciding which college to go to was not what was most important to me right now. I mean, it was really important. Just not as much as Jess now—not to me. I think Mom knew my mind wasn't entirely on this. She probably even guessed what I was thinking about, but she didn't say anything.

We hung around for a few hours. At five-thirty, Mom asked me, "What do you want to do for dinner?"

"I don't care," I replied.

"Well, we're out of toaster pizza," she said. "Luke's?"

"Sure." I gathered up my courage. I could do this.

Luke's was busy; all the tables were full again. Mom and I went up to sit at the counter.

"Luke, coffee!" Mom called.

"Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Before I get it myself…or everyone in the diner finds out what your favorite show used to be. Your choice." She smiled.

"Lorelai…fine, I'm coming," Luke said. Mom grinned at her success.

"I'll be right back," I told her.

"Okay."

I looked around the diner and saw Jess in the corner. I walked over to him.

"Hey," I said uncertainly.

"Hey," he replied, not looking up.

I swallowed hard. "Can we talk?"

"Go ahead."

"Um…can we go outside?"

"Okay." I followed Jess to the gazebo. I looked at him, silently, unable to speak. I didn't know how to say it. "Rory…" he said.

I have to. "Jess…I'm sorry! I'm so sorry—"

He stepped closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I had missed that. "It's okay—"

"It's not! I know you didn't do that and I should have known then—"

Jess cut me off. "Rory, I didn't mean anything I said…I'm sorry, I know I hurt you, I'd never want to—"

"I know! I know I hurt you too, I didn't mean it, I just got mad when I heard it, it wasn't you—" I threw my arms around Jess, and he hugged me back, tightly. I started crying; Jess sort of did too.

"Jess…" I said, trying not to cry.

He leaned forward and kissed me, and I kissed him back, the gazebo and all of Stars Hollow disappearing around me. Right then, all I could think about was Jess. I didn't want this to end, ever.

"Don't let go," I said.

"I won't," Jess replied, pulling me closer. He continued kissing me. After a while, he said, "Are you ready to go back to Luke's?" He was smiling, the way Jess never does, his eyes lit up, really happy.

I nodded, wiping my eyes. "Jess—I should have trusted you…"

"Forget it," he told me.

"I can't."

"You know, after…"

"Yeah."

"I went upstairs, and I tried to read, and I couldn't…and I cried."

"I know," I said softly. "I cried too."

Jess smiled again, slightly. "I know." He tightened his arm around me, and I put my arm around him. "Luke came up; he told me I was acting different; he insisted I tell him what happened."

"Did you tell him?" I asked.

"Sort of…then I went to the bridge."

"Wednesday."

"Yes."

"I couldn't do anything, all week," I told him. "I'm doing this paper…on Oliver Twist. And I couldn't stop thinking about—"

"Dodger," Jess finished for me.

"Yeah." I smiled, thinking. "I wrote about you."

"You wrote about me?"

"Well," I explained, "It was supposed to be a personal essay…" I told him the idea. "I didn't use any names."

Jess grinned. "Can I read it?"

"Uh…later."

"Really?"

"After I get my grade."

"Deal."

"I talked to Luke too," I said suddenly.

"You did?"

"He—don't kill him—he told me you were upset."

"I was."

"I told him I wasn't mad at you."

Jess looked away from me, not knowing what to say.

"Why weren't you mad?" I asked.

He shook his head, "I couldn't be."

"Why not?"

"You're Rory. And…I just couldn't help thinking, while you were yelling at me, that you were right."

"Jess—"

"You had a reason not to trust me, you had more than one reason. I have done stuff like that before, I did promise stuff I didn't do, and knowing that felt horrible but it was true and I knew it, and I only yelled at you because I was hurt and I wished I hadn't done some of the stuff I did. There wasn't any reason not to think it was me."

I stared at Jess. I'd never heard him talk like that before. Then I stopped walking and reached out to hug him tightly.

"Rory?"

"There was a reason."

Jess hugged me back. "What?"

"You promised me you wouldn't," I replied. "I should have known! I don't know why I didn't…I hate that you think I shouldn't trust you!"

"That's why I cried…you can from now on, though."

"I was scared, I was upset about Princeton; I didn't want to lose everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to lose you, Jess."

"Oh Rory…I know. It's okay." We kept walking. Then Jess said softly, "How did you know I didn't do it?"

I looked at the ground. "Dean told me."

"Right. Of course."

"No, Jess—I saw him at the bus stop, and I asked him how things were at the market, and he told me an older man from Hartford had stolen some stuff."

"Huh."

"And…I asked him if you'd been to Doose's."

"And he said no," Jess finished.

"And he said no," I echoed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I really didn't—"

"I know," he interrupted. By this time we were in front of Luke's, and the sky was slowly darkening. I saw my mom turn to glance out the window, but I didn't meet her gaze.

"Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"You know…how I said I was upset about Princeton?"

"Yeah."

"Well yesterday—I got into Harvard. And Yale." There was still plenty of excitement in this news for me. I smiled.

"That's great!" I was so glad Jess was happy for me, even though I'd known he would be.

"Definitely," I agreed.

"So, any letters in the envelopes begging you not to go to the enemy?" Jess grinned.

I laughed too. "Haven't seen any."

"You know where you're gonna go?" he asked me as we walked into the diner.

"No idea," I admitted. "Well, not really." Jess and I sat down at a table in the corner and continued talking. I knew my mom would understand why I hadn't gone back to sit with her. After all, both she and Luke were probably watching us.

I had known this would happen, hadn't I? That I couldn't just get over Jess. Luke had known it too. But still…I'd been haunted by the thought of losing him, and never being able to really care about anyone else like that… Everything was finally how I wanted it. All I had to do was decide where I was going for college. And suddenly that seemed much easier.

"How are you gonna decide?" Jess asked me.

"I'm actually leaning toward Yale."

"Really."

"I know I've been talking about Harvard my entire life, but I've been looking at stuff about Yale, and it has great classes and teachers, and I'd be close to Stars Hollow—"

Jess smiled. "That's good."

I looked over at Lorelai and Luke. Both of them were staring at me and Jess, but they looked away when they saw me staring back at them. I laughed.

"Jess, look."

He turned around too. "What did you expect?"

"You're right." I paused. "I'm really glad…we're good."

"Me too."

"We are, right?"

"Of course."

"I know." I did. The look in Jess' eyes had gone back to what I was used to, the rebel-without-a-cause look with the real Jess Mariano under it all. And I was glad, really glad. I had missed him. A lot.