Pretty maneuvered her way into the Ye Olde Tavern. The people there mostly consisted of old men who where unfit to go on the Kerrek March. They looked up at her for a moment then returned to their business. A few people muttered hellos to Pretty as she passed. She reached the bar counter and the bartender came up to her cheerfully.

"Hi Ned" she greeted her friend. Ned had a merry look about him. His ruddy complexion was almost always smiling. Sometimes it was kind of annoying.

"Pretty, how is my favorite customer?" he asked jovially. Pretty grimaced. "Can I have like, a pint of orange juice or something first? Then I'll tell you."

"You know, you can get serious citric acid poisoning from too much of the stuff," he said cautioned. Pretty shrugged. "I don't really care." In a few minutes he was back with a mug of orange juice.

"Now tell me, what's wrong," he asked. Before she could respond he held up a hand. "Wait! Let me guess. You want to become a knight but the gender rolls in this town will not allow it."

Pretty grinned at Ned. "You always get it right. I wonder why?" she added sarcastically. Even though he was sixteen years older then her, Ned was Pretty's best friend. She always would come to the tavern and complain about that day's problems. He acted as a kind of a shrink to her.

"So what are you gonna do about it?" asked Ned, not dismissively, but as a genuine question.

"Well to tell you the truth, I…" she cast a wary glance around. "I was thinking that maybe…an old experienced warrior could teach me. You know, I could become his Squire and stuff just like in those old stories." She took a sip of her orange juice.

"I know someone you can ask," Ned said mildly. Pretty's interest shot up. "You're kidding right?" she said. Ned shook his head still grinning. Pretty hopped up and down on her seat in impatience. "Okay then, out with it! Who is it?"

"It…" Ned began. Pretty leaned forward. "Is…" Pretty gripped the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white. Ned suddenly has a coughing fit. Pretty banged the bar in frustration sending some mugs flying in the air and landing on peoples heads. Ned cleared his throat and looked at her. "I have decided not to tell."

Pretty launched herself at him. "TELLL MEE!!" she shrieked. The rest of the men in the pub looked up, rolled their eyes, and continued talking.

Meanwhile Pretty was trying to get Ned into a headlock.

"Okay, okay! Geez." Pretty let go of Ned who rubbed his neck. "You have to promise not to be angry."

"Promise" said Pretty impatiently.

"And not to scream."

"…Promise."

"And not to-"

"JUST TELL ME ALREADY!"

"Okay then, I'll tell you." Ned said sighing deeply. "Finally," Pretty muttered taking a sip of her orange juice. "It's me," said Ned. There was a pause. Suddenly Pretty spat her orange juice all over Ned. "Y-you're what?!" she almost screamed.

"Shhh, keep it down!" Ned hissed, motioning frantically.

"Well excuse me for being surprised that my best friend is a WARRIOR and never told me!" Pretty snapped, wiping her face. "Well I am. I am skilled in swordplay, ju-jitsu and kickboxing but mostly wizardry." Ned said counting off on his fingers.

"Okayyyy…then where did you learn how to do all this stuff?" Pretty asked skeptically, wondering if her friend was pulling her leg. Ned smiled a secret smile.

"From the Three Keepers of Trogdor."

Pretty spat out her juice again, spraying Ned in the sticky substance. "Can you please stop drinking orange juice while I'm telling life-altering experiences." Ned said a little irritably.

"Woahwoahwoahwoahwoahwoah! I've been your friend for, what, three years? And you've never told me this! I'm hurt Ned" she added giving a little scowl. Ned got a slightly guilty look. "You've got to understand that the peasants of Peasantry wouldn't look upon me in the same way if they knew I was adopted by the Keepers."

"ADOPTED!?" Pretty shouted who was beginning to feel like an echo.

"Yes Pretty, can you please stop shouting in my ear? Anyways, I was raised by them. They taught me all their secrets and looked upon me like a son. Then when I was old enough they released me to Peasantry where I took up a job as a humble bartender." Pretty thought for a bit. This was all very weird. Pretty was used to weird stuff but not this weird. "Wait, wouldn't the Keepers be angry at you if you taught be how to defeat Trogdor?"

"Uhh no not really, they're just in it for the money. They don't really like Trogdor that much. You know with all the burnination and everything. If your really curious you can ask them yourselves if you want."

"WHAT?! Don't be stupid. Wait. How?" Pretty asked, doing a double take.

"They should be stopping by here soon" said Ned checking his Pez-Watch.

"What?" Pretty asked faintly.

"Yup. They said Trogdor has a message for the peasants. They're stopping by here to deliver it."
"When-how-jgth-wgth?!" Pretty asked intelligently.

"They should be coming right about-"

Suddenly a tremendous explosion shook the village. Screams and sounds of chaos came from the center of Peasantry. Everyone in the tavern began running for the door in a panic.

"-Now." Ned finished. He turned to Pretty but she wasn't there. She was already running as fast as she could to the center of town.

A/N: So how was it? Not that exciting. Ned will have a bigger part then I origanally attended. Hmmm...this is kind of an experiment for me. I know the basic plot but not the little deatails. I'll figure those out when I write them. coughhopefullycough Pwease R&R? Pwease cute look Puss in Boots gives in Shrek 2