'That'll keep her busy for a little while.' Kaoru thought to herself. She sat there eating her ice cream at a slow steady pace. She was beginning to feel the sugar high coming on form the immense chocolate she was eating.
Kaoru was busy thinking about everything that has happened not listening to the love stained slush flowing form Misao's mouth. She was talking non-stop about Aoshi, but Kaoru just ignored her.
In the closet Kenshin was looking at Aoshi in a whole new light. 'Who would have though Misao had such a huge crush on him...who could love an ice block like him?' Kenshin thought to himself as he listened to her describe him. Slowly Misao's voice began to blend into the wall, as if it wasn't there at all and Kenshin began to think about the previous events.
Kenshin's mind wandered to Kaoru, sitting just outside the door. He knew she was there and he could tell she wasn't listening by the dull noises she made, telling Misao to continue. He thought of how her raven locks would fall into her deep ocean blue eyes when she was working hard. And how her strong arms would sweep across the paper when she was painting so transfixed on her work. How the world around her seemed to disappear when she was enthralled in her art.
He soon discovered he was fantasizing about her. He shook his head and blushed faintly. He tried to focus on Misao's dull lingering voice but couldn't stop thinking about the other girl just outside the door. He wanted her, but she was out of his reach, just barely out of his reach.
Kenshin sighed and leaned against the door. He had a feeling this was going to be a long painful night. Kaoru soon tried to stop Misao's descriptions of Aoshi leaking form her mouth.
"Misao, do you ever think of anything else?" Kaoru asked. Misaos head snapped toward Kaoru.
"Yes!" She said defensively.
"What...?" Kaoru asked not believing a word she said.
"Umm..." Misao fumbled thinking hard. "Umm...food!" Misao said happily shoving more ice cream into her mouth smiling a chocolate smile. Kaoru shook her head.
"Of course." Kaoru said dully.
"Would you rather me grill you about Kenshin again?" Misao asked mischievously. Kaoru shook her head violently.
"NO! No." She said quickly. Misao smiled.
"Ok, then I will...I mean if you're so eager to spill your heart out to me." Misao said. Kaoru stared at her hard but her eyes were soft. She felt more comfortable when she knew Kenshin was not in the closet listening.
"I knew there was more." She said excitedly.
'How does Misao always know when i'm not telling the whole truth.' Kaoru thought.
"Alright Kaoru, tell me the truth." Misao said excitedly jumping up and down.
"Well, the only thing I left out in my story was, actually, not that important." Kaoru said trying to make it sound inconsequential.
"Tell me anyway!" Misao said begging her.
"Well, remember when I said I got lost in his house and I fell asleep in a room and he found me. But I was asleep and he fell asleep in the same room?" Kaoru asked. Misao nodded breathlessly.
"Well, what happen wasn't he sleep in the same room it was more like the same couch. And I kinda woke up to a face full of red hair." Kaoru said shyly her face reddening a little.
"You SLEPT with him!" Misao screamed. Kaoru slapped her hand over Misao's mouth and looked around cautiously.
"Don't tell the whole damn neighborhood!" She said harshly. "And no I didn't sleep with him, well technically I did, but nothing happened." Kaoru said defending herself. Misao smiled wildly.
"But you wanted to..." She said quietly. Kaoru scowled and glared knives at her.
"To hell with that! I did not want to, I don't want to, and I never will want to!" Kaoru shouted enraged. Misao smiled nodding.
"Right, ok." She said sarcastically. Kaoru crossed her legs and folded her arms facing away from Misao.
"Kaoru, don't be like this. Don't deny it, I know you wanted to be with him...and you still do." Misao said. Kaorus face turned red form anger.
"Are you blushing?" Misao asked. Kaoru stood up and looked at her fire escaping form her mouth.
"NO MISAO! I AM NOT BLUSHING!" She shouted loudly and forcefully. Misao shrunk and smiled gracelessly.
"Ok I believe you." She said quietly. In the closet Kenshins ears perked up when he heard what kaoru was saying. 'Man Misao give her a break.' Kenshin thought. He was pretty happy he had decided to stay in the closet this was getting good.
"No you don't." Kaoru said quietly to herself as she sat back down sticking her spoon in the ice cream violently. Misao smiled.
"Your right, I don't." She said. Kaoru rolled her eyes.
"Believe me, I would never want to be with such a preppy, pussy, wanna be, jerk, ass hole." Kaoru said angrily thinking of any insults she could and spiting them out.
"Wow, maybe I don't know you as well as I think I do." Misao said shocked at her friends' outburst. In the closet Kenshin felt a strong pain deep in his chest, he put his hand over his heart and blinked a few times shocked. His eyes grew sad and dreary, but in the blink of an eye they had turned frosty and bitter.
Kaoru ate the last spoon full of ice cream and tossed it in the trash. "You feeling batter Kaoru?" Misao asked. Kaoru looked sadly into her lap but smiled a melancholy grin and looked to Misao.
"Yea im feeling much better, thanks." Kaoru said happily, though it was fake Misao bought it. She had been to hyped up on sugar to realize anything was amiss.
Misao looked at the clock and her eye widened in shock. "Wow its late, I better get going. I cant believe its already midnight." Misao said to Kaoru standing up.
"I need to go home, moms is going to be pissed." Misao said helping Kaoru up. Kaoru nodded walking with Misao out the door and down stairs. She led her to the door and smiled watching her get into her car and drive away. She noticed that her car was still in the driveway so Kenshin must have walked home.
At that point she wondered how he was doing, and if he got home all right. She closed the door and leaned on it crossing her arms and comforting herself. 'Dad'll be home in a few days, he'll make things better.' Kaoru thought happily.
She slowly walked into the kitchen still holding herself thinking hard. 'Did I have to say all that? Of course you did Kaoru, if you didn't Misao would never leave you alone about him. Yes, but... I didn't... mean it.' Kaoru thought slowly realizing she was right, she really didn't mean anything that came out of her mouth.
"I didn't mean it." She said silently to herself beginning to smile slowly. "I really didn't." She said just as quiet walking up the stairs. She stepped into the bathroom and splashed her face. She turned on the shower not getting in. She just wanted to feel the steam on her skin and hear the sounds of water hitting the shower floor.
She sighed happily and sat in there for a while. After she felt like she had been sitting in a sauna for half an hour she stepped from the shower, wet from steam. She whipped her face with a small towel and stepped into her room. Her eyes opened wide and she dropped her towel from what she saw.
"I wouldn't happen to be so lucky that you left and came back would I?" She asked hopefully after a pause.
"Your not that lucky." Said Kenshin sitting on her bed staring at her. She gulped feeling a long heated fight coming on.
"Kenshin..." She began trying to explain. He held his hand up silencing her.
"Kaoru, Did you mean it?" He asked slowly his voice full of disappointment.
"I-" Kaoru began.
"Don't lie to me, don't lie to yourself." Kenshin said slowly. After a pause she answered.
"Kenshin, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it." Kaoru said quickly. Kenshins eyes brightened just a little then shrunk back into the darkness.
"Kaoru I cant believe you." Kenshin said mimicking the voice Kaoru had used just hours before.
"But Kenshin." Kaoru said then she slapped her hands to her mouth realizing this had all happened before.
"Don't do this to me Kaoru." Kenshin said quietly staring her down.
"Kenshin im not." She said taking a step closer to him.
"Does this mean you trust me?" Kenshin asked hope accidentally spilling through the barrier in his voice. She opened her mouth about to say something but shut it quickly.
"I don't know if I can, Kenshin you have to understand I don't think I could take any more pain." She said slowly forgetting about her rough image she always put up and showed Kenshin a little of her vulnerable side.
"I told you Kaoru, I wont hurt you." He said standing up.
"But how do you know?" She questioned desperately looking for answers deep in his eyes.
"Can't you just trust some one for once in your life!" Kenshin said loudly becoming agitated.
"Kenshin I told you what I've been through, don't you think it would be a little hard if that happened to you?" She asked her voice harsh.
"Yes Kaoru, but if you would open up once and a while you might be able to get over your problem." Kenshin said shoving it back in her face.
"Alright shrink, you want to play this game? If you didn't always have your head in the clouds you may be able to realize when some one doesn't want you around!" Kaoru shouted.
"Oh, ok, sure you didn't want me around in the beginning but you couldn't live with out me now!" Kenshin yelled.
"To hell I cant! Your just a pompous jerk who thinks he can get any girl!" Kaoru shrieked furiously.
"No, I am just friendly. You are the jerk who cant open up to any one just because you refuse to help yourself." He bellowed.
"Friendly! Ha! How about forward! You never left me alone, you slept with me on the couch for crying out loud!" She roared referring to the night she slept in his house.
"Actually I was being kind enough not to pick you up and wake you up! I sat down as far away as possible and tried to stay awake, however I need to sleep and in my sleep I moved towards you! Its not like I purposefully moved next to you!" He hollered.
"You should have woken me, I wouldn't have cared!" She screeched frustration clouding her mind.
"You know what your problem is Kaoru?" Kenshin asked.
"What!" Kaoru yelled interested in his answer.
"You refuse to get help. Over the years you didn't want to open up to anyone because that might be the cure to this non-trusting Kaoru. Because you kept to yourself so much, afraid that you may like trusting people, you were used to it and never learned to open up. And since you acted all rough and tough it brought you the attention you were seeking. You're not afraid to get hurt, you're over that, and you just don't want the attention to leave. And when it comes to men, its not that you're afraid of pain, or that you just can't commit, its that your afraid to love." Kenshin spat at her talking normally.
Kaoru was revolted. "I am not an attention seeking snob with low self esteem. I am just scared some one may do the same thing to me my mother did." Kaoru said slowly her head down.
"Kaoru, that's bull shit and you know it. I can tell by your structure that you are not weak, mentally or physically. Your only weakness that I can see is your past, you need to get over it. And the best way would be to accept it and live your life." Kenshin said taking another step closer to her. Kaoru looked up just enough that she could see him but her hair was shielding her eyes from his sight.
A tear rolled down her cheek and silently fell to the floor. "Your wrong Kenshin." She said almost to quietly for him to hear. She ran form the room and up the stairs. She ended up sitting her legs between the balcony railings, crying softly. Kenshin waited till he could no longer hear her footsteps and light sobs until he finally emerged from her room.
He slowly walked up the stairs he had heard her use and searched every room for her. He glanced into one and began to walk down the hallway. Then he walked back to it looking again. He saw her small form resting on the balcony, which was more like a piece of steel with railings. He saw her back raise up and down steadily and heard her soft quiet weeping.
'He is right; I just don't want to accept it. Maybe I can trust people. I can defend myself if anyone attacks me, and I am strong willed. But I just cant help but feel vulnerable when I put my trust into someone.' She thought her mind full of questions. He walked up behind her his footsteps silent, and her mind was too busy to even listen.
He sat down next to her dangling his feet of the edge as well. He looked over to her his violently cold eyes calming into a more gentle softness. She hadn't even realized any one sat next to her. She was still thinking hard, tears leisurely yet progressively flowing form her red eyes.
He gently tapped her on the shoulder making her aware of his presence. Her eyes looked to him but snapped back forward. "Kenshin." She said as if to greet him. She straitened her curved back and whipped away her tears. Though they continued to stream, she still wiped them away.
"I just came up here to say good bye." Kenshin said slowly to her. She looked surprised at him.
"You're leaving? For good?" She asked trying to keep the surprise and disappoint from her voice.
"You need space. And you know were to find me." Kenshin said standing up and looking down to her. She looked up to him.