Chapter 7

The Chapter All About Breakfast!

You heard it! You heard it here first! This chapter is all about breakfast! Not YOUR breakfast of course. No one cares about your breakfast. Whether you had cereal, pancakes or a S'mores pop tart, your breakfast will not be mentioned in this chapter. Unless you happen to be eating the same thing that one of the character's is. In that case, I suppose you can PRETEND it's about your breakfast.

But are you really that sad?

Anyway, before everyone at the Crazy Gringo Hotel got to eat breakfast, they had to wake up first! DA-HUCK! So, let's watch them as they wake up.

Kureno was the first to wake up! Why? Because he's the chicken! He took a big hearty deep breath of air and let out a mad rooster call out the window. Satisfied with a job well done, he awarded himself with his favorite flavor of listerine! The CHERRY FLAVORED KIND! Of course, he only woke up Kyo, so it wasn't REALLY a job well done.

" I WAS SLEEPING!" Kyo yelled.

" I can tell the difference between tenses, Kyo." Kureno chuckled foolishly, and walked out the room so he could go get breakfast. Kyo didn't want to follow, because then he would have to go down wearing his I SUPPORT THE LONE CHICKEN shirt, and that would be shameful! I mean, come on, first of all, he's the CAT and then he has to go and support the LONE CHICKEN? For shame!

But eventually his hunger got the best of him, so he lurked out of bed and started down the steps.

The third to wake up was Momiji. " GOOD MORNING!" He yelled, but then noticed Haru and Yuki were still asleep. He decided he wouldn't wake them up because they looked oh so very peaceful, and skipped out of the room alone! But he was still content, because he wouldn't trick someone just to trick them! And he ALSO wouldn't wake someone up just to wake them!

NEXT to wake up was Ayame. Being the snake, he got up very early in the morning. No, that doesn't have anything to do with being a snake but who's writing this story? YOU or ME? So Ayame got up fourth. He looked around to see that Shigure and Hatori were still lying there like knaves with their mouths open and their hair tusseled. Ayame WANTED to wake them up but he also knew they would be angry if he did.

So what did Ayame do? He went to brush his teeth and do his hair and all the other million's of special things Ayame does. When he was done, Shigure and Hatori STILL hadn't woken up.

So Ayame figured he would be a little sneaky, and turned on the televsion suddenly with relatively low volume. It was the VIEW! He waited to see if Shigure and Hatori would wake up, but they didn't.

So he turned it up a little. This time both of them looked a little disturbed. I would be too if my dreams were suddenly interrupted by Barbara Walters.

It seemed like those two would just plain NEVER get up, so Ayame turned the volume to the MAX! Shigure and Hatori awoke with a start and glared at Ayame angrily for interrupting their sleep.

" Oops! I accidently turned on the television and raised it to max volume!" Ayame exclaimed with a little sweatmark.

" Ayame, you- OOOOH! THE VIEW!" Shigure cooed happily, and stared at the television screen like he was obsessed. Hatori, who had a secret loathing for The View, tried to ignore it.

" Why aren't you both getting dressed? I'm dressed!" Ayame demanded as if the fact that he had been up ten minutes earlier had nothing to do with it. " Come on, HUSTLE!" And since Ayame is the groomer of this crazy Mabudachi Trio, Hatori and Shigure quickly changed into their clothes. What were they wearing? Ayame was wearing his pretty red dress thing. Shigure was wearing that kimono he ALWAYS wears. Hatori was wearing… shorts. HAHAHAHA! LET'S ALL LAUGH AT THE SHORT WEARING HATORI AND POINT!

(Points) AHAHAHA!

Of course, Hatori was also wearing a very nice short-sleeved green shirt, but the fact that he wearing shorts just ruined any ounce of respect the shirt might have gotten him.

" Did you both use the listerine I bought you? Since you're SMOKERS and your breath will begin to smell putridly if you don't?" Ayame demanded with his hands on his hips.

" Yes." Both of them lied.

" YOSH! Then let's go to breakfast!" Ayame cheered as he and Shigure skipped ambigously off, followed by Hatori very, very slowly. ALMOST as slow as Haru! He wanted to delay being seen in shorts as long as possible.

Next to get up was none other than Ritsu! But guess what? Nobody cared!

The three girls all woke up at the same time. " Good morning, Minna-san! I hope you all had pleasant dreams!" Said Tohru.

" Mine were about KYO-KUN!" Kagura assured her.

" Mine were depressing flashbacks disguised as dreams." Rin said.

" Just hearing that my heart is full… AGAIN!" Tohru sighed happily. Then they all changed into their clothes and got nice and ready in about five minutes because they're the women. And women know how to cut the crap.

" Today will be a wonderful day!" Tohru sighed happily.

" When you say it, Tohru, I have a feeling that it WILL be!" Kagura said, and smiled. She and Tohru laughed foolishly together while Rin shook her head in a disgusted manner in the background.

So there you have it. The order goes as; Kureno, Kyo, Momiji, Ayame, Hatori, Shigure (Hatori woke up a SPLIT second before Shigure) Ritsu, Tohru, Kagura, and Rin. If you must know about Haru and Yuki, well, Haru DID wake up, but it took him twenty minutes to bring himself to rouse Yuki out of his sleep, so we figured that they were just disqualified in this strange random waking competition.

Of course, none of them knew, by the time they all arrived in the Crazy Gringo Cafeteria, about these stats, since by then everyone had mingled about and it was impossible to tell who had gotten there first. Except for Kureno and Kyo, however.

" We're the very FIRST ones! NO ONE COMES BEFORE THE LONE CHICKEN! Right, flunky?" Kureno asked Kyo as he headed over to the cafeteria to get himself a big steaming bowl of porridge. Yes, that's right, for some random reason, everything in the cafeteria was FREE! It was Gringoish, but who cares when it's free?

" HEY! I'm not your flunky! I'm only wearing this shirt because I HAVE to." Kyo informed him angrily, as he got himself a big glass of milk and a bucket of fish heads. Just kidding. He got himself a carton of milk and a bucket of fish heads. Actually, just kidding again. He just got some fish heads.

" Hmm… this one is TOO hot." Kureno murmured, frowning at his porridge. He moved on to another bowl.

" And this one is TOO cold." He said to the new bowl of porridge. Then he found what he had been looking for.

" But THIS one is juuuuuust RIGHT." Kureno said really slowly and creepily with a big smile. I've decided Kureno is just the right mixture of the the neighbor that never shows his face on Home Improvement, Hawkmon, and the tiny details that Hayley knows about Kureno.

" What is THAT?" Kyo demanded as if the porridge had somehow offended him. He held his bowl of Cheerios (yes, I was just kidding about the fish heads. AWK!) to his chest as if the porridge threatened his own breakfast.

Well, Kureno was just about to tell him the meaning of 'juuuuust RIGHT' when Momiji came hopping in. Since Kureno is indifferent to being interrupted, he just shrugged it off.

" GOOD MORNING! What are you having for breakfast, Kyo? LET ME SEE!!" Momiji demanded as if Kyo were hiding some sort of special breakfast.

" NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!" Kyo yelled, since not only was he the CAT, wearing a shameful shirt that supported the LONE CHICKEN, but he was eating the honey of an O!

" Oh well!" Momiji laughed, and frolicked off to go get his breakfast.  You know what Momiji got? Do you? He got POP TARTS! YAY!

Next came the Mabudachi Trio. " GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!" Ayame yelled, then realized that no one in the room was really that important to his role in Fruits Basket. He shrugged and set off to get some eggs, since snakes LOVE eggs! And crickets! But let's just say Ayame likes eggs.

" Oh… well… if it isn't my old archnemesis's…" Kureno murmured with a raised eyebrow and an evil glare, but no one could hear him, so he was ignored.

" Where's everyone else?" Hatori asked Momiji.

" They're not up yet!" Momiji informed him, happily munching on a Pop Tart.

" Oh." Said Hatori, and decided to go get some raisin bran since that was the only cereal he didn't have a secret loathing for. And also, he was the dragon!

" Good morning, Kyo-kun!" Shigure told Kyo since no one had spoken to him yet. He was just about to go off and get some biscuits (GET IT? GET IT? DOG BISCUITS?! HARDY-HAR-HAR!) when he noticed something writted on the back of Kyo's shirt.

" GASP!" Shigure gasped, " How could you write something like that on the back of your shirt? I can't believe this! Even though we tease you mercilessly, I never thought I'd see such… open HOSTILITY from you, Kyo-kun!"

" What are you talking about, Gure-san?" Ayame asked curiously, wandering over with a big bowl of hardboiled eggs. Then HE saw the shirt.

" GASP!" Ayame gasped, " Kyonkichi, how could you?!"

" GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Kyo screamed, spilling cheerios all over the floor in the process of being in a rage.

" What?" Hatori asked, coming over with a bowl of manly raisin bran.

" Look what Kyo has written on the back of his shirt!" Shigure pointed vindictively.

Hatori read DIE MABUDACHI TRIO DIE, but he wasn't offended, because FIRST of all, he's Hatori. SECOND of all, it wasn't like Kyo could actually do anything to them because they were two reptiles and a dog. THIRD of all, he really didn't care.

" Whatever." Said Hatori and wandered off to eat his raisin bran.

" Good morning," Ritsu started to say, since he had just walked in but then he noticed that there were CHEERIOS all over the floor! ARGH! NO, THE HUMANITY! He began falling over the floor trying to pick them all up, apologizing over and over, but nobody cared. In fact, Shigure didn't care SO much that he knocked over another bowl of Cheerios just so he could watch Ritsu scramble to clean up AGAIN. Oh, Shigure, so easily amused.

" Good morning, everyone!" Said Tohru.

" Good morning!" Everyone replied to Tohru. She had walked in with all the other girls to go get breakfast. So, you want to know what they had for breakfast? YA DO?!

Well, Kagura didn't have any breakfast. She just had Kyo. NO, she didn't eat him, stupid, she just hung all obsessively over him while he struggled to eat his remaining Cheerios.

Tohru had toast with… STRAWBERRY jam! AHAHAHAHAHA! Get it? GET IT? STRAWBERRY JAM! She LOVES strawberries! DA-HUCK! Oh, I kill me.

As for what Rin got, I assume she got something mysterious and sexy. Like a pancake. What? You don't think pancakes are sexy?

" Well, we're all here now, so let's sit down and eat!" Kureno exclaimed, ready to sit down and eat the rest of his porridge.

" Yuki and Haru aren't here." Momiji pointed out.

" Oh well, that's just LIKE them! The two LAST in the Zodiac are the two LAST in the morning!" Kureno chuckled foolishly.

" Actually, Yuki and Haru are the FIRST two in the Zodiac." Hatori corrected, since he was the only one who actually studied that sort of thing. Because he's Hatori, and he has to be the resource man.

" Oh. I see…" Kureno said quietly, with a very evil look in Hatori's direction.

" It would be wrong to eat without Yuki and Haru!" Tohru exclaimed. But luckily, before anyone could prove her wrong, Yuki and Haru walked in! Actually, no, they didn't. But even MORE luckily… okay, Yuki and Haru walked in. I WAS going to have Zack walk in, but I have the feeling you wouldn't really appreciate Zack. Since you NEVER do. Now I have to send Zack ALL the way back to that little tunnel he lives in. Thanks to YOU. I don't know if you've noticed, but you've been REALLY pushing it with this chapter, Mister-man.

" Good morning, Hatsuharu-kun, Yuki-kun!" Tohru said happily, but Yuki was still half-asleep and Haru was… Haru, so they didn't really say anything.

" Well, let's all sit down and EAT!" Said some random non-Sohma exploding person who exploded as soon as all the Sohmas sat down to eat. Unfortunately, it turned out everyone had eaten their food standing up waiting for the OTHER people. The only people who hadn't gotten to eat was Haru and Yuki.

" What should we do today?" Ayame asked cheerfully, opening up a big map of Florida. Hatori grabbed it and replaced it with a map of North Dakota before Ayame could start to question the wherabouts of places in North Dakota. And that must NEVER happen.

" Oh, I dunno, how about-WHAT'S YOUR SECRET HARU?!" Shigure yelled suddenly, rounding in on Haru, who was innocently trying to decide what he wanted more; GRAPE jam or PEAR jam. Which one would YOU choose?

" I'm NEVER telling you." Haru said.

" Why not?" Shigure whined.

" I know! Let's go see the sights!" Ayame said randomly, standing up and ushering everyone out of the table.

" But I haven't decided which jam I-"

" NOW!" Said Ayame, and booted Haru on with the rest of them. Yuki was just about to take a bite of the cheese he had found at the cafeteria when Ayame grabbed him too.

" Come on, my adorable brother, we're going to see the sights! I see your eyes are just tearing up with happiness!" Ayame cheered.

But really, Yuki was crying because once again, he hadn't been able to have his cheese.

WILL HE EVER GET THAT CHEESE? Will Shigure EVER find out Haru's secret? Will Hatori ever get out of those shorts?

Well, those things don't have anything to do with breakfast. And since this was the breakfast chapter, we can't talk about them. You'll just have to wait until a chapter that's NOT about breakfast.

OMAKE!

Now, here's some questions for Tohru.

Moonmage: Tohru, who do you love, Yuki or Kyo? (crosses fingers) Please not Kyo.

Tohru: Kyo-kun is incredible… Yuki is incredible!

Um… I don't think she understood the question. How… convinent. DAMN YOU TOHRU AND YOUR OBLIVIOUSNESS!

Person: What kind of bug did Shigure swallow?

Tohru: SHIGURE-SAN SWALLOWED A BUG?! OH NO! (clasps hands) Swallowing bugs is dreadful! You shouldn't underestimate them.

Note: ACTUALLY, Shigure didn't really swallow a bug. He swallowed a small green creepy fairy by the name of Tingle who we decided to shrink and throw into the wind for our own personal enjoyment. I expect Tingle is doing the Koo-Loompah dance in Shigure somewhere as we speak…

Ah well, there weren't many questions for Tohru. But maybe you'll all have questions for… YUKI! That's right, I've caught him and made him answer questions! MWHAHAHA! So next time, send your questions to YUKI SOHMA!