Hello, my loyal fans! lol. Hope everyone has been doing well. I know it has been awhile since I wrote a Charmed fanfiction. I have been working on a few other stories. I only have one of them posted right now.

Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed. If I did, Chris would still be on Charmed.

Summary: One-shot. Leo can't get over Chris' death. No father would ever be able to get over the death of a child, especially when they died in your arms at the hands of evil. It's the anniversary of Chris' death, one year later and Leo remembers the day that his son died fighting for a better future.

Still Painful

Leo sat on the bed that Chris died on one year ago today. It was still painful to even look at this bed, let alone sleep in it. Every time he passed by the room, he remembered what happened that day one year ago. He remembered it all too well. Chris had been stabbed and he was dying. Leo just left for a minute. He went to go get Paige to look after Chris while Leo went after Gideon. The next thing Leo knew, there was Darryl telling him that his son was almost dead.

"How could I have let it happen?" Leo asked himself as remembered. "I only left for a minute, to go get Paige." Leo said to himself. "I shouldn't have left. I should have stayed with him." Leo said as a tear started to roll down his cheek. "Oh God, why didn't I stay with him." Leo said as he put his head in his hands and sobbed.

The next thing Leo remembered were the thoughts going through his head as he went to Chris' side.

"Oh God, please, no, please don't let him die. He's too young to die. He has to go back to the future. Please let him go back to the future, the better future he helped create." Leo kept thinking as he rushed to Chris' side. Within minutes of Leo arrival, Chris was gone and all Leo could think about was getting revenge. He wanted to kill Gideon so bad, as any father would have wanted to do. The next thing Leo remembered was destroying everything in his path. He didn't care anymore. His son was gone and it was at the hand of a trusted mentor.

"Why did I ever trust him?" Leo thought to himself as he still sobbed. "I should have known better. Then again, I didn't know he would betray me like this. Elders were supposed to be trustworthy." Leo thought as he still cried softly.

The next thing he remembered was being face to face with Gideon. He was face to face with the man he had trusted all those years, the man who betrayed him, the man who had killed one son and was trying to kill his other son. Then Leo did the unthinkable, he killed Gideon. Leo didn't care anymore. His son, the one who grew up to hate him, the son who he never got to know, was dead.

"Why Chris?" Leo asked himself as he cried. "It's not fair. I should have got to know him like Piper and her sisters did. I shouldn't have left him alone. If I stayed with him, he wouldn't have died. It's entirely my fault." Leo said to himself, crying even harder now.

The next thing Leo remembered was going to the delivery room to see Piper and baby Chris. He looked so much like his mother. It was hard to imagine that this little baby was the son he had just lost. It was hard for Leo to wrap his head around, but he had too. He had to be strong for Piper and his sons. He never got a chance to breakdown and mourn, until now.

Leo cried even harder every time he thought about something that happened that day. Whether it was something small like a conversation he had with Chris, or something huge like the death and birth of his son. It was still painful to think about it, even to this day, one year later. Leo knew that it would always hurt him some how. However, he still had baby Chris to raise and love and Leo planned to always be there for Chris and there would always be a special connection between them. A special bond that he didn't have with Wyatt and that he couldn't have with any other of his children, should he and Piper have more. He wanted to be the best father he could be for his children, and one day, he hoped, no evil would come in the way of that.

The End