Note: Naria, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! YOU ANSWERED THE GREATEST MYSTERY OF MY WHOLE LIFE! OH, GOD BLESS YOU, I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT! MWHAHAHA!
Hee-hee… MACdonalds… hee… (dies)
Chapter 12
The Many Woes of Hatori
And so, Hatori drove back in the stolen car to the museum with Kureno, Kagura, Shigure, and Kyo in tow. And luckily, EVERYONE was waiting for him there! Even Ritsu! YAY! As soon as they all noticed Hatori drive up, they stepped away from the museum and it exploded.
" Tori-san! What took you so long?" Ayame said as if Hatori had left them alone and stranded for HOURS. Which he had.
" The Lone Chicken has returned!" Kureno said foolishly, stepping out of the car into a crowd of people and began to strut about haughtily.
" Kyo-kun! Kagura-san! Did you have fun?" Tohru asked them as they too exited the car.
" NO!" shouted Kyo.
" Yes!" said Kagura.
" It doesn't matter." Hatori replied to Ayame's question as he and Shigure got out of the car. He was relieved. Now he had EVERYONE where he could see them and didn't have to worry about them getting into anymore trouble. " Now that we're all together, we can go to lunch."
" But we already ate at the Golden Corral!" Shigure, Kyo, Kagura and Kureno whined.
" Listen." Hatori said sternly. " You four are not the only people in the world. What about everyone else?"
" Actually, we've already eaten too!" Ayame laughed like Kureno. " We went out to a resturaunt while you were gone!" Ayame decided he wouldn't tell Hatori about the whole Gap and movie thing yet.
" So, everyone has eaten!" Tohru observed happily.
Actually, everyone HAD eaten… everyone except for… HATORI! He was the ONLY one who hadn't eaten! ARGH! CRUEL FATE! Hatori really wanted to point this fact out, but then everyone would have been all, " GEE, HATORI, HOW COME YOU CAN'T BE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?!" So, Hatori ignored the severe hunger pains he had, and sighed mentally.
" Okay." Said Hatori. " Well, since everyone's eaten, we might as well just go back to the hotel for the night."
" But we haven't even GONE anywhere!" Momiji whined like the unsatisfied child he was.
" Momiji, you got to go a lot of places." Yuki pointed out.
" But I didn't get any POSTCARDS from any of them!" Momiji replied.
" Why do you need postcards?!" Kyo demanded as if postcards offended him.
" I'm going to collect them! I want to get ALL the different postcards in North Dakota! That's my DREAM!" Momiji said suddenly with stars flying in the background.
" What a WONDERFUL dream!" Tohru exclaimed.
It's a stupid dream, everyone else thought.
" Momiji, we can go find postcards tomorrow. But right now, I'm really tired. And I think all the other adults are too. Right?" Hatori asked the other adults meaningfully.
" I'm not tired! I want to go live it up!" Ayame bellowed.
" Me too! I want to party-hardy!" Shigure added.
" The Lone Chicken NEVER tires!" Kureno declared boastfully.
" Well… I'M tired." Hatori sighed.
" Oh yeah, make it ALL about you, Hatori." Shigure said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
Hatori was just about to REALLY kill Shigure this time, when he noticed almost all of the assorted teenagers and Ayame were carrying plastic bags with the GAP written on them.
" When did you guys go to the Gap?" Hatori asked.
" We NEVER went to the Gap!" Ayame lied.
" Ayame, you're all holding bags with the Gap written on them." Hatori said pointedly.
" Your POINT?" Ayame replied angrily.
" Ooh! Whadja get, whadja get?" Shigure said, hopping from person to person to look inside their bags. He stopped when he got to Haru, who had the dog leash inside his bag.
" What is THAT supposed to mean?" Shigure said with an uneasy look at Haru.
" I've been looking for one for a long time." Haru answered, mistaking Shigure's look for one of ADMIRATION at his lovely golden chain! " I finally found one that will fit just right."
Shigure continued to stare at the leash/chain obsessively, as if he were expecting it to hook itself around his neck.
" You can wear it if you HAVE to." Haru sighed.
" No… that's okay…" Shigure said slowly. He had never KNOWN Haru was into that kinky, bondage kind of thing! He didn't know whether to be flattered or afraid! OR BOTH!
Haru gave Shigure a weird look. Since WHEN did Shigure like CHAINS? Chains were HARU'S thing! Not Shigure's! HARU'S!
" How did you get the money to buy those?" Hatori asked.
" I love you, Tori-san!" Ayame said randomly.
" Me too!" Said Tohru. " I'm so grateful for your generosity!"
Hatori looked over to Tohru slowly, then back to Ayame, who was trying to secretly drop Hatori's credit card onto the ground. When Ayame saw that HATORI saw him trying to do this, he just threw the credit card in a random direction as hard as he could and then began to whistle innocently.
Hatori walked slowly over to the credit card and picked it up. Then he looked at Ayame.
" Ayame…" He said. " Why do you have my credit card?"
" But I DON'T." Ayame said.
" Where did you get my credit card?" Hatori continued in a voice that was becoming more and more dangerous.
" Save me, beloved little brother!" Ayame yelped, running behind Yuki as if Yuki were some sort of martial artist. Oh wait… he IS a martial artist! I can't believe I forgot that! WOW!
" NO WAY!" Yuki said. " I TOLD you it was a bad idea, but none of you would listen to me."
" So… there was spending involved? Spending of MY credit card?" Hatori asked with a dark aura surrounding him.
" Spending? SPENDING? PSSH! Of course not!" Ayame chuckled nervously. " What a ridiculous idea!"
" Was there spending?" Hatori asked all of the children.
" Yes." Said all of the children.
" How much?" Hatori asked Ayame, who had sneaked over to hide with Shigure.
" Not enough to be concerned over. In fact, there's no reason for you to even KNOW, it makes that much of an UN-difference!" Ayame laughed, looking around so he could map out the nearest routes of escape.
" Is Hatori gonna kill Ayame?" Momiji asked curiously.
" YESSSSS!" Kyo and Yuki hissed with their fists clenched.
" Well, let's just hope it wasn't that much! You can't afford to lose any money after you went and got that ticket and everything!" Shigure laughed.
Oh, I'm sure you cannot imagine how much Hatori wanted to kill Shigure at that point.
" What? Hatori got a TICKET?" Rin gasped because she hasn't done anything in awhile. Everyone's respect for Hatori dropped a little bit. I mean, HATORI? Get a ticket? MY WORD!
Hatori was confused. How had Ayame gotten his credit card? Hatori was always VERY careful with it. It would have had to be in some place that Hatori had forgotten about and didn't have access to. But WHERE?
… I still can't believe I forgot Yuki knew the martial arts! I mean, I've seen the anime and read the manga WAY too much, and yet… I FORGOT! I'm afraid I must obsess over it relentlessly now! And punish myself! BAD DOBBY! VERY BAD DOBBY!
Hatori looked around. " Where's an ATM machine?" Little did he know… that he had just said a redundant sentence! See, ATM stands for Automatic Teller (or something like that) Machine! So really, Hatori had just said ' Automatic Teller Machine Machine.' And he's lost a lot of money! And he hasn't eaten anything! And he was wearing SHORTS! WILL THE HILARITY NEVER CEASE?
" There isn't one." Haru said because he was the sort of guy that looked around for that stuff.
" YES!" Ayame cheered and started to do the kirby victory dance.
" Did anyone ask for a Buddy Barn ATM machine-" That Buddy Barn Guy started to ask from nowhere.
" NO! GO AWAY, YOU FOOL!" Ayame yelled, and began to strangle him. That Buddy Barn Guy, of course, easily slipped free, because for ONE thing Ayame isn't so strong. And for ANOTHER thing, he's That Buddy Barn Guy! Do you really thing you can just STRANGLE That Buddy Barn Guy?!
" Well, EXCUSE ME! First we have the whiner in the shorts and now we have the strangler in the dress! I'm starting to not feel very appreciated!" That Buddy Barn Guy said in a very offended voice.
" Give me the ATM machine. Now." Hatori said.
" ALL-right, Mr. Redundant!" That Buddy Barn Guy said. He then grudgingly removed an ATM from nowhere and allowed Hatori to use it. Everyone watched fearfully as Hatori slid his credit card into the machine and then pressed a few buttons.
There was some beeping. Then it was very, very quiet.
" Uh… I think I sense that it's about to get ugly. See ya." That Buddy Barn Guy said uneasily, and whipped out his magical orcarina and teleported off to wherever it is Buddy Barn Guy's go.
" Ayame?" Hatori asked quietly, turning around with a very demented look. " Where did you get my credit card?"
" ACTUALLY, it was Shigure AND me." Ayame said quickly.
" Don't drag me into his bloodlust!" Shigure cried.
" Where?" Hatori said again in a crazy paitent voice.
" …in your pants." Both of them admitted.
" Where are my pants?" Hatori said in the most dignified manner possible.
"…hidden in the hotel freezer." Both of them said, and everyone noticeably tried not to laugh.
At that point, Hatori would have really killed the two of them. I'm NOT kidding. Unfortunately, his anger had reached the ' MAX anger' point that was even higher than KYO'S 'max anger.' And what happened because of this? Unfortunately, he turned into a seahorse!
So now everyone was staring at a REALLY pissed off seahorse twitching about in an empty pair of shorts, and instead of yelling, the seahorse was going, " Meep, meep, MEEP!" Because that is the sound an angry seahorse makes.
Of course, no one heard him say that because everyone was rolling around laughing hysterically over the fact that he was the SEAHORSE! A poor, hungry, SHORT-dwelling seahorse!
" Oh MAN!" Shigure sighed, wiping a tear from his eye. " Hatori turning into a seahorse get's me EVERY time!"
" It's a good thing seahorses can't hurt people! Why, they can't even move!" Ayame chuckled foolishly, standing up from all the rolling around on the floor laughing he had been doing.
" Shut up, you bastards." The little seahorse Hatori said, and everyone laughed because… well, it was a DEEP voice coming from a TINY seahorse! And it was cussing! A cussing seahorse! " Somebody pick me up before I get stepped on. But not Ayame or Shigure."
" WHAT? Why NOT?" Shigure exclaimed like he was offended. Just so he could NOT obey Hatori and show him JUST how much he liked to ridicule him, Shigure picked up the seahorse. Which was good, because Kureno had just been about to engage in secret mission ' Stomp A Member of the Mabudachi Trio' which involved him stomping on Hatori.
Ayame picked up Hatori's clothes. Everyone else didn't do anything but watch them like they HAD been doing. Why? Because I can't make EVERYONE do something ALL the time! Don't you know that? Just get over it.
" We need to get back to the hotel before I transform back." The Hatori Seahorse told Shigure.
" Okay! I'll drive!" Shigure said.
" NO!" The seahorse said.
" Then, I will drive!" Ayame laughed good-naturedly.
" But…" Now Hatori was torn! The choice was between Shigure, who could drive pretty well, but couldn't distinguish colors, and Ayame who couldn't drive at all, but COULD distinguish colors. And Hatori himself couldn't drive because he was a SEAHORSE! NOOOOO!
Kureno was just about to offer to drive, when suddenly, out of nowhere, Late George came running up. Late George stopped in front of all the crazy people and looked at them. He was amazed at how beautiful everyone was! And then he saw the seahorse and he smiled because seahorses make people smile. And then Late George saw something that made his day.
" MY CAR!" Late George cried and ran up to the car and hugged it. " I thought I would NEVER find it! THANK YOU!" It didn't occur to Late George that for the people to HAVE his car they would have had to have STOLEN it, but… oh well! That's Late George for you. Hardy-har-har.
And with that Late George jumped into his car and sped away as fast as he could. He had to hurry because he was late for his explosion! It's about time.
" Darn! There goes my hot set of wheels." Shigure sighed.
" Shigure, you said you were borrowing that car." Hatori said sternly.
" Quiet, seahorse! Or I'll place you in a shoe and shake you around." Shigure told Hatori.
Hatori didn't really think Shigure would actually do this, but the mental images he had scared him so he decided to just be quiet for awhile.
" And the van is gone too! I sold it to some young fellow and an old man named Obi Wan! I guess we'll just have to WALK home!" Kureno chuckled foolishly.
" AWWWW…" Everyone groaned.
" He's right. We don't have any other choice." Hatori observed from Shigure's arms.
" Fine! If you could turn into a REAL dragon instead of some stupid fish, we wouldn't be in this situation!" Shigure told Hatori resentfully.
"…What?" The seahorse-Hatori blinked.
" Don't act all innocent with me." Shigure snorted in disgust.
Hatori couldn't think of anything else to say because… Shigure was making NO sense! He supposed that maybe if he could turn into a REAL dragon, he would be able to fly all of them back to the hotel, but it wasn't like he could just do that in broad daylight… or could he? What if Hatori COULD turn into a dragon? Would he be able to breathe fire? Or fly? Or would he just be a big, stupid lizard like a Komodo Dragon? Why doesn't Hatori turn into a Komodo Dragon? THAT MAKES MORE SENSE!
In fact, I imagine little Hatori spent many sleepless nights, thinking, ' Why, oh WHY God, couldn't you have made me a Komodo Dragon? WHY?' And God would never answer. And Santa would never REALLY come. And the tooth fairy is cheap.
…
Yuki IS a martial artist.
…
Anyway… Everyone began their resentful trudge to the hotel. I don't really know how far away it is, but when I'm ready for it to be there, it'll be there, so no worries. Everyone had split into little walking groups. The Mabudachi Trio was walking together, Kureno was walking alone, all the teenagers were in one big teenager mass, and Rin wassort of staying to the side of them. Yes, Ritsu is there. But I won't tell you WHERE he is. HA!
" I wish I could have gone to the Golden Corral instead of The Amazon Café." Haru said wistfully to the group.
" WHAT? The Amazon Café is the best Café EVER!" Momiji exclaimed as if it were some sort of crime to not like the Amazon Café. " It has PLANTS in it!"
" But I really love the Golden Corral. I love it even more than I love these chains." Haru replied.
Everyone took a second to respect the fact that there was something Haru loved even more than those crazy chains.
" But the food sucks! Why would you like it?!" Kyo demanded, since he would have rather been at the Amazon Café then at Golden Corral with Kureno any old day.
" Um, excuse me, I'm the OX." Haru said, rolling his eyes. " I BELONG in the Golden Corral."
" That's not true. Just because you're an ox doesn't mean you have to like someplace just because it has the word 'corral' in it." Kyo said with a mildly disturbed expression.
" Oh yeah? Rin, don't you like the Golden Corral?" Haru asked Rin.
" I LOVE it!" Rin exclaimed, but we don't really know if that's true or not. She could be LYING! Oh, that mysterious Rin!
" And Hiro loves it too." Haru said, even though he had just decided that for himself without consulting Hiro.
" Is that right? Then I'll have to take the three of you there sometime!" Tohru said ditzily.
" NO YOU DON'T!" Kyo screamed.
" You're just mad because she didn't offer to take you to Long John Silvers, Kyo." Haru stated.
" What? WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO THERE?!" Kyo yelled.
" We all know you love it." Haru said.
Now, even though it was true, Kyo just couldn't get ENOUGH of Long John Silvers, it wasn't like he was going to admit he liked something to other people. So even though it probably hurt him deeply to forsake the delicious house of fish, he screamed, " NO I DON'T! QUIT MAKING UP ALL THIS FAKE STUFF ABOUT ME, YOU STUPID BRAT!"
" That's sort of a stupid idea, though, isn't it? That would be like saying Yuki is obsessed with cheese just because he's the rat!" Kagura pointed out.
" Now, that's just STUPID." Haru agreed.
" Like ANYBODY would ever have something as weird as a CHEESE obsession." Momiji chuckled like Kureno.
Everyone laughed, including Yuki. But he was crying on the inside.
Actually, everyone's favorite resturaunt DID have something to do with their Zodiac Form except for Hatori. He liked Bennigans. Why? …Nobody knows.
" Shigure…" Said Hatori the seahorse, " What if I turn back into a human while you're holding me?"
" I'll be holding a naked Hatori." Shigure said a little bit TOO happily.
" Exactly. I think we should find someplace for me to stay until I transform back so I don't do it in the middle of the sidewalk in front of everyone." Hatori said.
" What? But that's what we've been looking forward to all this time!" Shigure and Ayame protested.
" That's it. Put me in that phonebooth." Hatori said with a seahorse glare at some random phone booth. Actually, it wasn't just ANY phone booth. It's the phone booth that SUPER Grover uses! But Super Grover is probably dead by now so… never mind.
" FINE. Everyone, we have to stop and wait until Hatori turns back into a human inside this telephone booth." Shigure sighed like it was the end of the world.
" AWWWW…" Everyone groaned again.
" Sorry." Said Hatori but he didn't really feel sorry.
And with that, Shigure unceremoniously chucked the tiny seahorse into the phone booth and Ayame threw Hatori's clothes on top of the seahorse. Actually, he just threw Hatori's shorts and shoes and socks. He kept Hatori's shirt just so Hatori would have to walk out shirtless in shorts to get the shirt. Oh, those FIENDS!
And so, the wait began. At first everyone tried to be a good sport, but Hatori was taking WAY too long to turn back into a human. Hatori himself was surprised, because it never took him THIS long to transform back. This was just turning into the worst day EVER.
" Can you HURRY IT UP?!" Kyo yelled at the phone booth. " I'm tired of standing around!"
" Shut up Kyo. I'm doing the best I can." Called the seahorse in it's deep voice from the phone booth.
" No, you're NOT." Kyo decided.
" Yes, I AM." Hatori replied.
" No, you're really not." Kureno said. " You're not even singing the transform back song."
" The transform back song?" Everyone echoed.
" You KNOW! The Transform BACK song! The one you sing when you want to transform back! Remember? ' Please, please, transform back! Please, please, sometime today! Make me human straight AH-WAY! Please, please, transform back!'" Kureno finished proudly. " You ALL know that one."
" I've never heard that song in my entire life." Said everyone but Tohru. Because she doesn't transform! DUH!
" I never sing when I want to transform back. I just sort of think… ' Man, this sucks. I wish I would transform back.'" Haru said sagely.
Everyone nodded.
" WELL!" Kureno said in a very offended manner. " I ALWAYS sing that song, and as soon as I'm done, I always transform BACK!" This was sort of true. But only because Kureno sang the song until he DID transform back.
" Maybe you should try it Hatori!" Kagura said since… since she never does anything! ARGH!
" Never." Said Hatori.
" You never know until you try, my mother always said." Tohru observed.
" That may very well be true, Honda-kun, but this is something I know will definitely not work." Hatori replied respectfully from inside the phone booth. After that everyone decided to be quiet. But everyone was secretly humming that crazy song in their heads! Even Hatori was humming it in his tiny seahorse cranium, hoping, WISHING that it could turn him into a human being!
" EX-CUUUSE, me." Said some guy with a polka dot tie that had come walking up to the phone booth, making a hand motion for Shigure to move (he was standing in front of the phone booth) " But I need to use the Phone Booth." His name will be Polka Dot Stan.
" Someones using it." Shigure replied without thinking.
Polka Dot Stan looked into the little Phone Booth Window, and saw that there was NOBODY in there. He then gave Shigure a strange look. " That's not true."
ARGH! I forgot that Hatori was a SEAHORSE! Shigure thought and slapped his forehead. Then he smiled cheesily at Polka Dot Stan. " Well, there's no one in there YET. We're all trying to decide who gets to use it first!"
Polka Dot Stan looked at all the people who needed to use the phone booth. And he frowned. Because when Polka Dot Stan wants to use the phone booth, he USES the phone booth. He doesn't wait on a bunch of stupid people!
" Well, while you're trying to decide, can I use it real quick?" Polka Dot Stan asked.
" NO!" Yelled everyone.
" We were here first!" Ayame declared.
" But you guys are gonna take forever!" Polka Dot Stan whined.
" Okay, listen up fella. If you can beat us ALL in Rock, Paper, Scissors, you can go ahead. But if you DON'T, you have to wait until we're done." Kureno said. This was his special weapon, because Kureno was a MASTER of Rock, Paper, Scissors!
" Alright… I accept your challenge…" Polka Dot Stan replied, taking off his tie and tying it around his head like a ninja bandana. " Let's do it."
And so began the Jen Ken Pon tournament! Even though it was quite impossible that Polka Dot Stan would win against TEN people… he did! WOW! And then he had to go up against Kureno. CLASH OF THE TITANS!
" I won't hold back!" Polka Dot Stan warned Kureno with fire raging in the background.
" Good. Because I won't either!" Kureno yelled in a Kira kind of voice.
" Jen… Ken… PON!" Both of them screamed dramatically as everyone gasped in the background. A big cloud of dust came from nowhere and we had to wait for it to clear to see the result.
NO! Polka Dot Stan had his hands in a scissor motion and Kureno had his in a FLAT position! NOOOOO! WHY, KURENO, WHY?!
" I won!" Polka Dot Stan hooted.
" Not so FAST…" Kureno laughed. " I just played a FLAT rock on you. See? My finger tips aren't even." Everyone looked to Kureno's fingertips to see that, GASP!, they WEREN'T even! They were slightly UN-even! He'd pulled the ol' flat rock trick on Stan!
" ARGH!" Polka Dot Stan screamed, falling to his knees. Then he untied his polka dot tie from his head, put it back on and said, " Oh well! I'll just use my cell phone." Then he walked away and exploded.
Hatori turned back into a MAN because he was only a seahorse so I could have that scene. He put on his shorts and shoes quickly then stepped outside with the sun shining on his manly bare chest. And he had glittery sparklies around it too! Simply because Hatori's chest just DESERVES to have glittery sparkles around it.
" Where's my shirt?" Hatori asked as he stepped out. Some of the weaker people had to shield their eyes, like Tohru and Momiji, because Hatori in shorts without a shirt was a little too much for them to handle.
" In my excitement, I handed the shirt to Kagura!" Ayame exclaimed.
" In my excitement, I ripped the shirt in half!" Kaguta exclaimed.
Hatori began to shake again, but he didn't want to turn into a seahorse once more, so this time he counted to TWENTY then was able to talk again. " So… I have to walk back to the hotel with no shirt?"
" Yes. Yes you do." Said some random person besides Hatori.
" It's FINE." Ayame said waving one hand around foolishly. " You're just half-naked."
" Yeah. It's almost like being COMPLETELY naked! You might as well be completely naked." Shigure added.
" No, I might as well NOT." Hatori replied. " This is shameful."
" No it's not. You never see the Hulk being ashamed." Ayame replied as if that made sense.
" The HULK?" Hatori asked with one eyebrow raised.
" All he's wearing are his little tight purple shorts, and he NEVER shows any shame!" Ayame nodded. All of the other people except for Hatori and Ayame didn't know who the Hulk was, but I'm sure most of them thought the Hulk was a bear. Like Jason. DA-HUCK!
" I think that the fact that the Hulk is too busy smashing buildings and fighting off lasers overides him feeling any shame over his shorts." Hatori sighed. Why does Hatori know that The Hulk isn't a bear? Because when he and Ayame were little, they ALWAYS watched The Incredible Hulk cartoon together! YAY!
" How come I didn't watch The Incredible Hulk Cartoon?" Shigure whined.
Um… because it was beneath you, Shigure. Or maybe above you. In any case, Hatori didn't feel like discussing the Hulk anymore, and decided he should just be grateful he didn't have an unsightly hairy chest and just a shiny one, so they continued on their journey to the hotel.
And so… they arrived at the hotel. And guess what? Yuki still was a martial arts expert when they arrived! HE WAS!
" Why did we have to come back here? It's so CRAZY." Kureno sighed as they walked into the Crazy Gringo Hotel.
Hatori said nothing and walked forward with a steely glaze in his eye. They were there for a purpose. And the purpose was his PANTS. He was going to find them, and when he had found them, he was going to put them ON. And what he would do after that is something we won't go into, but I bet he'll dance in them or something like that.
" I hate this hotel. Weren't we going to stay in another hotel?" Haru sighed.
" No. We're stuck in this one." Momiji answered happily.
" I think I'm going to sit out here instead of spending the night in the hotel." Haru decided right then and there and sat down outside of the building just like that. He then pulled a little umbrella out of nowhere and put it into the ground so he had a little shelter from the weather.
Hatori stopped walking and turned around very slowly to look at Haru. " Haru, you can't just stay out here all night. Especially like that."
" I can. And I AM." Haru replied obviously.
All of the other teenagers looked at Haru and thought about how COOL he was for just sitting there and sleeping outside of the hotel and being all brave and cool. Just kidding. Everyone thought how incredibly stupid Haru was.
" But… won't you get COLD? And LONELY?" Tohru asked worriedly.
" Not if Rin stays with me." Haru said thoughtfully.
" Well, I WON'T." Rin scoffed, and followed everyone who was already walking into the building and leaving him there. Hatori sighed. He was too tired to argue with Haru that day.
" Maybe Yuki will stay with me." Haru said hopefully with a very pathetic look at Yuki who pretended not to see him and walked away. Tohru followed him and decided later she would make him some ONIGIRI and BRING it to him! But not now. Later.
" Hey, Kyo…" Haru tried one last time, since Kyo was the only person standing there.
" No way. Even Kureno is better than you." Kyo said in disgust and marched off.
" Oh well." Said Haru. " At least I have my little umbrella." And so he stayed like that the whole night outside of the Crazy Gringo Hotel. Well… maybe. We're just THINKING that he might. Who KNOWS what will happen in the future? ONLY THAT OLD DUDE FROM THAT SHOW!
" Now, where's the freezer that has my pants?" Hatori asked Ayame and Shigure who were starting to wander off with innocent looks.
" Oh, yeah, you want those, don't you?" Ayame laughed.
" And a shirt." Hatori added.
" So, basically, you want clothes." Shigure said.
" No…" Hatori replied after thinking for a few seconds. " I want my pants."
" Well, then follow me! And anyone else who wants to get ice cream or something, ALSO follow me!" Ayame added as he began to march off to the freezer. Everyone who wanted ice cream or a pair of pants followed him. And guess what? EVERYONE wanted some ice cream. Except for Hatori. He wanted pants.
" Oh my!" Ayame blinked as he swung open the Crazy Gringo Refrigerator. " I don't see any pants ANYWHERE!"
" What? Let me see." Hatori said, shoving Ayame out of the way and looked inside. There was some frozen dinners and some Dreamsicles, but NO pair of pants.
" THE NERVE! Who would dare steal a pair of pants from this freezer?!" Ayame stated as if he were offended.
" Ayame just… shut up." Hatori sighed. " I bet you guys just stole them again."
" No we didn't!" Ayame and Shigure chorused.
" Listen, I can't possibly get any angrier than I am right now, so just go ahead and tell me." Hatori continued, as everyone else started to grab Dreamsicles out of the freezer.
" Hatori, you must believe me in what I am saying right now and that is while we put your pants INTO the freezer, we never took them OUT of the freezer." Shigure replied haughtily.
" We wanted them to be stiff like a board!" Ayame added cheerfully.
Hatori was just about to let those two HAVE it, because they were acting like they WANTED it, when suddenly that Crazy Gringo peered over his front desk and gave them all the evil eye.
" HEY, CRAZY GRINGO!" Everyone shouted at him.
" Whaddya want?" That Crazy Gringo replied moodily.
" Have you seen anyone take any pants out of that freezer?" Hatori asked him.
" What? If anybody takes any pants out of THAT freezer, I would have known." That Crazy Gringo snorted gringoishly.
" So… did anybody?" Hatori asked.
" Yeah. I did." Said That Crazy Gringo calmly.
Hatori stared at that Crazy Gringo in silence and then said, " You took my pants? Why would you do that?"
" Anything put in Crazy Gringo's freezer belongs to CRAZY GRINGO." That Crazy Gringo said sternly. " Ice cream, frozen dinners, cats, and pairs of pants, they all belong to me."
" But they were MY pants." Hatori reasoned.
" Doesn't matter. They were in MY freezer, so they belong to me." That Crazy Gringo replied stubbornly. " And besides, if you put them in a FREEZER, which no sane person would do, I just assumed that you were giving them to me as a present."
" Well… sorry, but I wasn't." Hatori said without feeling very sorry. " So… can I have them back?"
" No, you may not." That Crazy Gringo decided.
Hatori looked away for a second and gritted his teeth and took a few very fast breaths through them while his face went beet red. Ah, Hatori. It's come to this.
" You don't understand…" Hatori said in a crazed voice. " Those are my pants. What use would you have for them? You couldn't even wear them."
" Yes I could." That Crazy Gringo replied stubbornly.
" No, you couldn't." Hatori replied.
" Yes, I COULD. In fact, I'm wearing them right now." That Crazy Gringo argued, and shuffled out from behind the front desk to reveal that he was indeed wearing Hatori's lovely pair of brown pants. Of course, they were WAY too tall for him because he's like… what, four feet tall? So, the pants went up way past his hips and went down way over his shoes so you couldn't see his feet and it looked like he was some sort of strange octopus.
Hatori stared at That Crazy Gringo. " You're wearing my pants."
" Oi, oi! Yeah, yeah!" That Crazy Gringo laughed and started to do a crazy little shuffle slide dance in Hatori's pants. Hatori turned his head away from this madness and walked off slowly in his shorts without a shirt on. He was never getting those pants back after where they had been.
And now, the chapter must end because that is the last woe of Hatori and this chapter is called the Many Woes of Hatori and while they have been many, this was the last one.
… At least for this chapter.
YUKI IS A MARTIAL ARTIST!
OMAKE!
Wow… um, for awhile I didn't update. OH WELL! Sucks for you! Kinda sucks for me too. But anyway, the question and answer will be rushed today because I want to get this chapter up quickly for everyone. So hurry!
ULTRA CONDENSED QUESTIONS FOR MOMIJI
P: Y do u like candy?/
M: cuz it's yummy
P: Y do u cum from GERMANY?
M: cuz I'm German
P: Why do u make a monkee face instead of a bunny face?
M: cuz I'm a monkee-wannabe
Hayley: Blah blah blah EXCLAMATION blah blah Carl blah blah chuckled foolishly blah
M: happy happy happy ne ne ne ne
Hayley: CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK CAPS LOCK EXCLAMATION
M: Something, something, ne?
Hayley: GLOMP
M-B: I am a rabbit. It is cute.
Hayley: BLAH BLAH SEND QUESTIONS FOR HATORI THE PANT-LESS SEAHORSE BLAH BLAH
M-B: Witty comment
(insert Ja! Here)