Ok honeybuns, I'm SO sorry for not updating this sooner, but I've been really busy!! I just wanted to dedicate this story to Kelley and Vicki, I know they;ve waited like a month for this chapter, so I love ya chickies!! Thanx for all your support!! Here's the chapter:

Jamie sat in front of her mirror, remembering moments when they were together. She hasn't been the same since she said goodbye to her first love. Jamie knows she's disappointed her father. She knew he was only trying to protect her, but that doesn't change the fact that she thinks it's unfair. She couldn't even say 'Good-bye'.

Jamie gazed at her mirror, but not really seeing anything. She was in her own world, dreaming about his touch on her skin, the way his lips were so incredibly soft on hers and the way his smile lit-up the sky.

"It's not fair", she screamed a loud, not caring who heard. Her heart was broken and nothing could mend it.

A song by Something Corporate sang in the background. She listened to the words intently, memorizing their meaning as they played out of the small radio and out into the cold world.

It's a good year for a murder
she's praying to Jesus, she's pulling the trigger
there's no tears, cause he's not here
she washes her hands, and she fixes the dinner
but soon they'll be coming to rush her away
no one's so sure if her crime had a reason
reasons like seasons
they constantly change
and the seasons of last year
like reasons have floated away

Away with the spilt milk
away with this dirty dish water,

Away seventeen years, and all that he gave was a daughter
'It's me and the moon,' she says
I got no trouble with that
but I am a butterfly, you wouldn't let me die
'It's me and the moon,' she says
and it's over, but it just started
the blood stained the carpet
her heart like a crystal
she's lucid and departed
a life left behind, she can find in her mind gone away

Away with these nightmares
away with suburbia
shake down away
you marry a role and
you give up your soul till you break down
'It's me and the moon,' she says
'I got no trouble with that, but I am a butterfly, you wouldn't let me die'
'It's me and the moon,' she says
but what do you say we go for a ride?
What do you say we get high?
But I'm so tired of days that feel like the night
'It's me and the moon,' she says
and I got no trouble with that,

But I am a butterfly, you wouldn't let me die
I am a butterfly,

I am a butterfly,

I am a butterfly

Jamie softly sang the words to "Me and the Moon" by Something Corporate, while sitting in her chair, her hands in her lap, looking at herself in the mirror. Nothing can change the way she looks at herself, with a sad, somber look, and a sort of hatred.

Jamie got up and prepared herself for the night. "No need for make-up, no need to look pretty, no need to look my best, ever!" Jamie said a louded, admitting to herself that she'd never be the same person again. She'd never care what she looked like or wore. She'd never care who saw her and she planned on never smiling! Jamie was gone and self-pity filled her place. She slid her flower- printed dress over her head and let it fall down to her feet. She carefully wedged her toes into her pink flip-flops.

Jamie grabbed her keys and was on her way to Sally's house. ' This is just a football game' she said to herself.

"Hey!" Sally said as she grabbed Jamie's' arm and pulled her inside the house. "What took you so long!!," Sally said with laugh; obviously she was excited about tonight. Jamie didn't even have time to answer her before Sally started to drag her upstairs.

Sally suddenly became very serious. No more laugh's, no more smiles, just serious.
Once they reached Sally's room, they both went in and Sally slammed the door shut and locked it tight. Immediately, almost instinctively, Sally went through one of her drawers, throwing clothes out along the way. Sally finally stopped when she had a pile of books locked in her hand. Sally dropped them straight down on the floor and they hit with a large 'thud'.

The books were dark blue and had the word 'yearbook' inscribed on the covers of them in silver text. Sally picked up one of the books and began to sort them out while flipping through pages. When she found the page she's looking for, she would stop and move on to the next book, searching for her next designated page.

Jamie stood by the door watching her intently. She had her hands folded across her chest and hadn't the slightest clue what Sally was doing.

When Sally had finally finished her task, she called Jamie over to the bed and patted an open spot for Jamie to sit.

" These" Sally said gestering to all the books, "Are all my yearbooks since 6th grade." Sally said. Jamie looked at her with a puzzled look on her face. Why would Jamie care about old yearbooks?

Sally pointed to the first book, "Just look at it, read the names!!" She said with a face that looked as though she was going to cry. Jamie was so confused, why was her friend crying, had someone died?

Jamie bent down closer to the books, wanting to get a clear look at the mystery.

" Emily Barkey, Thomas Baretly, Matthew Calrence, Landon Carter..." Jamie said reading the list of names out loud. " Landon Carter!!!! "Jamie exclaimed out-loud with a gasp. Jamie had no idea what was happening.

'Landon Carter' was printed in the third row down. She looked at the top of the page and it read '6th Grade Class'. She gasped again and covered her mouth with her hand. She grabbed the next book, wondering what she'd find... 'Landon Carter' '7th Grade Class'... the name continued in the same spot as the first book. 'Landon Carter' '8th Grade Class'... 'Landon Carter' '9th Grade Class'... etc...

Jamie jumped up from the bed, shrieking with anxiousness and bewilderment.

"Where did you get those!?!?!" Jamie asked out of breath to Sally. Jamie was hyperventilating; she was so shocked and confused!

"There mine" Sally said softly. She looked down to the floor. Guilt flooded her mind. She just didn't have the heart to tell Jamie the truth; truth that Jamie would soon have to learn.

Before Jamie could say anything, Sally grabbed her wrist again and brought her downstairs and out the door. She still looked down at the floor, almost mad. She told Jamie to get into the car. Jamie obeyed her friend, questions swarming in her head. Everything seemed to be crashing down on Jamie so hard. She found it difficult for her to breath, nevertheless think about what was actually happening.

"Come on." Sally said sadly to Jamie.

They were parked in the school parking lot. The football game had not started quite yet. The cheerleaders were stretching and warming up as the football players were making their laps around the field.

Sally began to walk fast. She seemed to know where she was going, so Jamie followed her quietly, keeping her dying-to-be-answered questions to herself.

They stood in front of the bleachers for a few minutes.

"This doesn't make any sense." Jamie said quickly.

"Yes it does, don't you see?" Sally said. Her face was a combination of worry, guilt, madness, sadness, and terror. She whispered to Jamie, and looked as if she was confused herself.

"No." Jamie said frustrated. She wanted an explanation, and she wanted it now. This boy, this Landon Carter, loved her and she loved him back. If anything would keep her from knowing any information about him, they'd have to deal with her. Anger was taking the best of her and she began to shake with rage.

Sally grabbed Jamie's arm once again and dragged her under the bleachers. Sally positioned them both, so that they could not be seen by anyone.

"Look over there." Sally whispered as she turned away. She could not bare seeing her friend hurt, which would soon happen.

There stood Landon, within a group of guys and a few girls. The guys wore leather jackets. They all held cigarettes in between their fingers. It was either weed, that they were smoking, or pot. The girls were also smoking. They wore belly shirts and miniskirts, and you could see things hanging out that should have been covered. One of them was hanging on Landon and he had his arm wrapped around her waist. Beer cans and bottles were surrounding the outside of the group.

Jamie looked at him and her world crashed. She walked up slowly, not know where she was going or what she was going to do.

"Jamie, what are you doing?? Get back over here, they're going to see you!!!" Sally whispered loudly, hoping to get her friends attention.

Jamie ignored her friend. She continued walking like a zombie toward the boy she had once loved. Would have once gave her life for... but now, all she feels is guilt and pain. Pain for loving him and guilt for trusting him. Landon, a name she loved to hear whispered in the wind and the name that belonged to a man she once gave her heart too.

She finally reached him, and some of Landon's 'friends' began laughing at Jamie. She knew what they thought of her and how they sadly looked down on her. Jamie heard one of Landon's friends call out, "Hey Landon, look at the Virgin Mary!!!"

Landon spun around quickly. He recognized her, but didn't want to, not because he didn't love her, because he knew she didn't love him, not now, not after what she just saw. Time stood still as they looked at each other. Jamie shook her head as tears seemed to stream from her eyes. Landon's friends were confused and decided to shut up for the moment. Jamie turned and walked away. Not thinking about what happened, or the boy she left behind, but of the happy memories that she'd have to let go down the drain and forget forever!!!

Ok, that's it. Hopefully I'll be able to update with Kara sooner this time!!

Kristin Marie