Thanks for all the reviews; I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.
The Survivor theme music starts up as the camera zooms over a misty mountain, looking gloomy yet panoramic. Upon zooming in on a landing about three fourths of the ways up the mountain, we once again are greeted by the sight of Saetan. Dressed this time in a pair of rugged pants, a white shirt, and climbing boots, he doesn't look all too happy with the costume department.
Trying to sound perky for this episode, he starts off. "Welcome to Survivor: Black Jewels Trilogy Edition, where the contestants have to out jewel-"
Saetan is cut off from somewhere off screen: "We've got the idea, fat head." Snickering then commences.
Saetan rolls his eyes in an attempt to control his temper, lest the producers go psycho on him once more. The last episode had more time for commercials than actual Survivor material, much to the amusement of the Light Team.
"Last time on Survivor-"
Somewhere off screen: "…you were a terrible host."
Ignoring the sounds of laughter and high fives being given, Saetan takes a deep breath, clasping his hands tightly in front of him. Looking evilly at the camera, he continues: "Let's just finish this 'frolicking' episode."
A crew member subtly walks on screen to tell him quietly not to say anymore obscenities. Shoving her off without even looking, Saetan squints his eyes.
"Away from me, woman. First, on the Shadow Team, please welcome my lovely daughter Jaenelle."
Jaenelle walks on screen, smiling and dressed in a blue sweater and a faded pair of pants. Saetan smiles at her for a moment before looking back into the camera, oblivious to the purring noises coming from Greer (directed at Jaenelle) from behind him.
"Next, my pain in the arse son, Dae-"
Daemon comes running on screen, running over Saetan and tackling Greer, forcing him to the ground as he strangles him with his bare hands. Banging his head on the ground, Greer begins to beg for mercy.
Saetan lies on the ground fraying his arms wildly. "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS. NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK….REALLY, WHY ARE YOU STILL ROLLING?"
Off screen, the crew members smile at one another, thankful that this will boost the ratings. Finally, they cut it off into a commercial break.
Commercial:
Tune it at 7:00 tomorrow for Good Morning Terrielle, for a special interview with Lorn, who has a few secrets to tell us.
Shooting once more, the audience finds Daemon standing in the back, arms crossed threateningly. Jaenelle appears to be rolling her eyes as she studies her nails.
"Next," says Saetan "is my other pain in the arse son, Lucivar."
Lucivar walks on screen; in fact, he walks on from the wrong direction, backwards, just to be annoying.
"Like father, like son, eh?" He says smiling, raising his eyebrows. The audience is not surprised, then, to find that Lucivar is quickly shoved off screen by his rather annoyed looking father.
Stumbling back on screen, Lucivar joins Daemon in the back, intent on making more comments for revenge.
"Our next contestant is a beautiful young woman-"
From the back: "Saetan, nobody wants to hear about you."
"…whose name is Surreal," Saetan finishes with gritted teeth, pretending not to hear Lucivar.
Surreal comes walking boredly on screen, hands shoved in her pockets, not even looking into the camera. She didn't sign up for this; she was forced into this by her mother, the old bat; telling her to represent the Dae al Mon.
"FINALLY," Saetan says dropping to his knees, hands clasped above his head as he looks to the sky. "THE FIRST NORMAL ENTRANCE."
"Ahem," Jaenelle's voice comes from the back. "My entrance wasn't normal?"
"No, you attracted Greer's attention," Saetan said, standing up and brushing his pants off, smiling for once.
"Next, please welcome…ooh, I wasn't expecting this person. Our next contestant is none other than Titian herself."
Titian walks on screen, but is soon tackled by Surreal.
"YOU-TOLD-ME-TO-REPRESENT-THE-DEA-AL-MON-YET-HERE-YOU-ARE-YOU-LYING-'OAR'." The words came out halted in between the hitting and scratching and basic fighting as they rolled around on the ground.
Sighing, Saetan just shakes his head. "One moment of glory shut out for eternity…"
From the back: "Uh, I wouldn't say eternity."
"Hell's fire, why can't you just shut up you 'frolicking' winged thing?!"
After another quick commercial break, Saetan is once more in his lawn chair, eyeing the camera coolly.
"Our sixth contestant is the wonderful young witch, Karla-"
From the back: "I don't know what they have you reading from, but I know that's bull-"
"Thank you peanut gallery," Saetan hisses, groaning slightly at the idea of having to be stranded on a mountain with Karla for a few weeks.
Karla walks on screen, dressed in faded garments and bearing that wicked smile. Waving her fingers at Saetan, she coos, "Kiss kiss."
Walking nonchalantly to the back with her fellow team mates, Karla shoves her hands in her pocket, careful to avoid the gaze of the pissed off Surreal and Titian. Whistling slightly, she slowly walks up to Lucivar and kicks him where the sun don't shine. Smirking, she walks and stands beside Janelle, happy to see Lucivar fall to his knees groaning.
Smiling at the sound of Lucivar's pain, Saetan sighs out of relief. Only one more contestant to introduce.
"Finally, please welcome Falonar."
Falonar walks on screen, waving slightly, and doing relative boring things.
"Yes, I can already see whose going first from that team," Saetan says smirking, anticipating Falonar's shocked look.
Before he can say anything, however, the show is cut off and replaced with the Survivor theme music.
Next time on Survivor:
What alliances will form on each team?
Who will win the first challenge?
Will Saetan ever have his revenge?
Tune in next time for Survivor: Black Jewels Trilogy edition.