Here's Part 2. Thanks to Patty for the wonderful beta job :-) I hope you all enjoy. Char :-)

ROADTRIP 2: PART 2:

"I wanna be a Cowboy babeeeeeeeeee! With the top let back and the sunshine shinin! Cowboy babeeeeeeee Ridin at night cause I sleep all day!"

"You missed some of the words," Dick complained as Roy continued to belt 'Cowboy' out of tune.

"Cowboy babeeeeeeeee I can smell a pig from a mile away," Roy took his eyes from the road for a moment to turn toward the passenger beside him. "Or in the next seat."

"HEY!" Dick yelled as Tim's laughter echoed from the back of the convertible.

"Well if you're gonna be a cop about the teeny-tiny can't hardly see it scratch and now your the lyrics police, I'm gonna call you a --"

"Teeny scratch! You mean the gouge of all gouges on BRUCE'S new car?"

Roy shook his head as his foot pressed on the gas pedal. "You make such a big deal out of everything. You're such a drama queen Dick."

"I'm a WHAT?"

Roy glanced at him, "A drama queen AND a prude. You do not know how to have fun. You need to relax and chill and act your age once in a while."

"I do act my age," Dick said as he heard Tim snort in the backseat. He glared at the boy who pulled out his sunglasses and put them on hiding his eyes. "I DO!"

"When?" Roy taunted.

"I do!" Dick defended.

"Then do something now."

Dick looked at Roy incredulously. "Like what? We're in a car."

Roy looked up at the bright sunny sky. "We're in a convertible. Stand up."

"I don't want to stand up in a moving car. You're doing ninety."

"AND?"

"Yeah bro, I know you can. It's not like a train."

Roy snorted, "That was work Bat Tot, and this is for fun which is why the Bat Prince can't do it."

"I can so!" Dick retorted back.

"Then do it!" Roy urged a sinful grin on his face.

Dick sighed. Yes, Roy most assuredly needed horns. Shaking his head, he felt a laugh start to rise from his stomach to burst from his lips. "Okay! You win!" Dick grabbed the windshield and stood erect in his seat in one quick fluid movement, arms raised over his head as the wind ruffled through his thick black hair. "Is this what you wanted?"

"Are you having fun?" Roy asked.

Dick laughed again. "Yeah, I think I am."

Roy laughed with him. "Then yeah, this is what I wanted."

Dick closed his eyes and breathed deep taking in the fresh air. He did enjoy the feeling of the wind whipping through his hair. He felt the tension knots melting away in his back. He heard the birds and Roy's out of tune singing and . . .

SIRENS!

"SHIT!" Roy yelled.

Dick opened his eyes and turned around to see the state trooper car closing the distance between them. He glared down at Roy who looked up with a sheepish grin as he slowed the car down and pulled off onto the shoulder of the road. Dick sat down in his seat with a thud.

"I bet you're gonna get a seat belt ticket," Tim stated.

Roy looked at Dick. "Look at the trouble you just got us into."

"I've gotten us into! I've gotten," Dick yelled but stopped mid sentence as he looked up at the uniformed state trooper who looked down at them. Dick gave the man a weak smile and slipped lower in his seat.

Roy turned to the trooper and looked over his red sunglasses. "Can I help you officer Sir?"

The uniformed trooper tapped his pen on his ticket book. "Ninety-two in a fifty-five. Eight more miles and you would've had a felony."

Roy smiles, "Well, I always try my best. Sir." He smiled as he heard Tim groan in the back seat.

"Um hm," the Officer said as he wrote on the pink citation form. Looking at Dick, he asked, "And just what were you doing? Ringling Brothers try outs?"

"Haly's actually," slipped from Dick's mouth before he clamped down on his tongue. That sounded too flippant and flippant in this situation was not good. Tim groaned even louder.

The trooper glared at Dick in an almost bat like glare. "Um hm." Looking down at Roy, he barked, "License and registration."

Roy sighed and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. His mind was racing at how high his insurance premiums were going to go. Then he smiled a wicked smile as his hand pulled the license Dinah had given him for emergencies, the one Oracle had created, for 'Lance Archer'. If this wasn't an emergency, he didn't know what was. He lifted up the license with two fingers and whistled.

"Registration too. Oh, and circus performer, I need your license too."

"Told ya you're gonna get a seat belt ticket," Tim's petulant voice called from the back seat.

Roy turned to look at Dick who was giving the official bat glare to the trooper. "ROBBIE, give the man your license and the registration."

Dick watched Roy, who seemed to be making faces, as he fished his wallet from his back jeans pocket. "Sure, hang on," ROBBIE. Roy wanted him to give the cop Robbie's ID. Fictitious information to an officer. He was Dick Grayson, Bludhaven Police Officer. He couldn't do that. He ... he didn't want to live down the stupid stunt Roy talked him into. If the BPD checked Dick's record as they periodically did and found ... THIS. Decision made. In a quick movement, he pulled Robbie Malone's license and handed it to Roy to hand to the officer.

"Registration," the trooper added.

Sighing, Dick held his hands up and moved his left hand to open the glove box. "It's in here," he said cautiously as he pulled the leather satchel and started going through the papers that came with the car. "It's uh ... a new car. Just give me a second and ... here it is," he said as he handed the registration across Roy to the trooper and then leaned back into the hand-crafted black leather seats and waited.

The trooper took the papers and walked back to his patrol cruiser to call in the information. Dick watched him from the side window as he drummed his fingers on the door arm. Bruce was going to know everything now. He'd know that Dick had allowed Roy to drive his car, no, worse, to ride in his car. Life as Dick knew it was now over. This was supposed to be a relaxing trip. So far, he was missing the relaxing part. Dick turned to glare at Roy who was whistling like he didn't have a care in the world.

Green eyes looked over red sunglasses. "What?" Roy asked with a shrug.

"I didn't say anything," Dick countered.

"You didn't have to Bro, you were giving the glare from the batcave," Tim said as he leaned over into the front seat propping himself on his elbows. "Anyone would wanna know what they did."

"Roy KNOWS what he did! Roy's responsible for ALL of this!"

"Chill dude. Relax and take a chill pill. The tickets ain't going on our real records and you can afford to pay our fines and -- "

"OUR? OUR! I am NOT paying off your ticket. UH UH. NOPE. You are the reason I am getting a ticket Mr. Show-me-you-can-act-your-age," Dick parroted. "That wasn't MY age I was acting, It ... it was your brain age!"

"Brain age?" Tim giggled. "That's pretty weak."

Dick's growl was cut off by Roy's snort. "I think you meant maturity and I didn't tell you to act like an idiot. That came to you naturally. You just repress it … most of the time."

"You didn't tell me ... I'm going -"

"Guys," Tim started as the sound of sirens in the distance echoed through the air. He stopped speaking and listened to them coming closer, then shook his head. They weren't coming after them, they were already getting a ticket. The day was finally looking up. He turned his attention back to Roy and Dick who were still bickering over whose fault all of this was when he saw the sheriff's patrol car zoom past them. "Wonder where they're going in such a --"

Dick and Roy both looked up just in time to see the sheriff's car screech around and head back directly toward them. The tires left thick skid marks and smoke billowed from them as the patrol car whipped around and head back directly toward them.

"What the Hell?" Roy asked bracing himself. He flinched when the car careened to a stop ... by slamming into the front of the hood of their car.

"Oh. My. God! THEY HIT THE CAR!" Dick screamed. Whimpering in the backseat, Tim fell over moaning as Dick jumped over the door and ran to the front of the car to inspect the damage.

As he did, the two deputies from the convenience store jumped from their cruiser. Harvey quickly pulled his gun and waved it at Dick. "FREEZE."

Dave followed suit with considerably less enthusiasm. "uh…Harvey."

"You freeze! You hurt this car! Ohmygod!" Dick yelled as the stunned State trooper walked over. He had pulled his sunglasses off and was staring at the collision sight.

Tim looked at Roy. "Uh ... maybe ... we should get out."

Roy shook his head as he pushed his sunglasses up on his nose. "Nah ... he's not a can of Zesti, he'll be safe."

Harvey was shaking his Zesti killing gun at Dick, "You're under arrest."

"For what this time! You're the one who assaulted my car!" Dick yelled as he turned back to the crushed front end and whimpered. Maybe Babs was right. Maybe some things could only be cured by a good long cry.

"Isn't YOUR car, punk. It's stolen! Raise your hands!" Harvey yelled as Dave just sighed.

Roy looked back at Tim as they both said, "Uh-oh," and leapt from the car.

The Trooper moved closer to Dave, "Anything you need to share deputy?"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Harvey's convinced the car's stolen."

"I just ran the plates, nothing came up."

Harvey kept his eyes on Dick as Tim and Roy grabbed Dick by his arms. "Car belongs to THE Bruce Wayne. No way he'd let these mooks drive his car."

"Mook?" Roy said disgustedly. "I ain't the one who shot the Zesti dude!"

"HOLD IT!!!" the trooper shouted and held out his hand. "Let's all be calm and get to the bottom of this."

"CALM!" Dick shouted as Tim sat on the crushed hood. "Look at what Deputy Ding and Dong did to this car. They --" Dick stopped as his cell phone started ringing. He pulled the phone from his side and flipped the top. "What!"

Barbara's voice was cold and business like. "Please hold for Mr. Wayne."

"Hold for Mr. Wayne? MR. WAYNE! What the hell!" Dick started.

Tim jumped from the car and grabbed the phone. "Give me that, it's Bruce, you do NOT want to talk to him."

"Why the hell not! It'd be perfect with the rest of this day. Look at this car!"

Roy grabbed the phone from Tim and held it over his head. "I'll talk to him." He pulled the phone to his ear, "Yo, Bruce ... how's it shakin'?"

"Give me the phone!" Tim yelled as he tried to grab it back. Dick, the State trooper and the two deputies all watched the game of keep away.

'HARPER!' Roy heard the growl from the phone in his ear as Tim's hand finally grabbed the phone's antenna. Roy complained and grabbed for the phone again. "Heeeey, I was --" yanking the phone, they all watched it fly from their hands and bounce into pieces on the ground. "Oops."

Tim stood there with his mouth open looking at the shattered phone. "He ... he ... he'll think we hung up on him. On HIM!"

"SHIT!" Dick yelled. "You broke MY phone! Bruce is going to think we hung up on him!"

"Dude, you got a warranty on that, right?" Roy asked rubbing the back of his neck as Dick just glared at him.

Tim started walking in a circle muttering, "He's gonna kill us and then raise us from the dead and then kill us again. He knows where Lazarus pits are located at, he'll use them over and over again."

The trooper took his ticket book and turned to Dave. "License please."

"I'm a cop. You can't give me a ticket," Dave said as he swatted Harvey. "Put the gun down. No one but you thinks the car's stolen. Look what you've caused."

Harvey looked at the crushed front end of the Ferrari and the banged up side of their patrol car. Then he looked at the trooper giving Dave a ticket. Maybe he was mistaken? He glared at the red head who laughed at the situation. He glared at the tattooed teen who muttered about some pit, probably a drug thing. He especially glared at the shifty eyed dark haired one who was leaning over the shattered phone. No…he turned a death glare on him. It was all HIS fault.

"Relaaax," he said to Dick as he patted him on the shoulder. Grinning, Roy walked closer to the trooper and the two deputies. "Officers, seeing as you smashed our car with no reason other than our obvious association with Zesti ... you'll help get it fixed, right?"

"I'll give you a report, insurance information, you can have Mr. Wayne make a claim. I assume since he called you, he's aware you're driving his car." Turning to the deputy he repeated, "License please."

"A claim against the city," Roy smirked. "He has goooood lawyers."

"Ro-- Lance, don't make this worse, pleeeeeaaase," Tim whined.

KICK! KICK! KICK!

Everyone turned toward the sound of feet hitting metal and watched as Dick continually kicking the patrol car.

Dick stood, flanked by Roy and Tim, in front of the magistrate's large bench. The magistrate looked over the charges that the officers had handed them then then looked at the three young men who stood before him.

Roy leaned behind Dick and whispered to Tim, "Seee, I didn't make it worse ... he did!"

Tim just shook his head and looked down as the magistrate started handing down his judgments.

"Robert Malone, for damage to personal property. $500 fine. Disorderly conduct. $200 fine."

"Don't forget he yelled at them," Roy added.

Dick turned to Roy and glared as he yelled, "SHUT UP!"

"Just helping," Roy added with a shrug.

The magistrate drolly added, "I was getting to the resist obstruct and delay an officer performing his official duty. $500 fine." Then the magistrate turned his attention to Roy and smiled. "For both of you. AND, Mr. Archer, $250 fine for the 92 in a 55 mile per hour zone."

Tim bit his bottom lip to suppress a giggle. Dick turned and smirked at Roy.

Roy smirked back and looked at the bench. He ducked his head and assumed his most angelic pose, the one he learned from Lian. "Yes your honor. I did wrong, but HE didn't have any liability insurance," he added with a smile as he pointed at Dick.

"I did so! Well ... Bruce did so."

"Oh yeah ... that's right, but doesn't the driver have to have it." Roy said with a sarcastic grin.

Dick looked incredulously at Roy. "I dunno. YOU were driving!"

"Not when they pulled us over!" Roy bantered as Tim whimpered from behind them.

"YES when they pulled us over! You're the one who got the speeding ticket! Don't try to confuse the judge."

"Well, I wasn't driving when they hit us."

Dick turned towards Roy and started edging closer to him as he shook his finger. "YOU were still behind the wheel! I can't believe -- "

BANG BANG BANG

Dick stopped his advance on Roy as he and Roy both turned to the judge who was pounding his gavel on the bench. Roy smiled and waved.

"You're ALL in contempt of court!"

Tim's mouth dropped. "All?" he asked pointing at himself. He watched as the judge nodded. "BUT I didn't do anything."

Glaring at him, the judge replied, "You're with them!"

Tim smiled sadistically as he let his body swing out as his hands held onto the bars. He enjoyed being on the outside of them while Dick and Roy were on the INSIDE of them. "That was a really nice judge. Didn't you guys think that was a really nice judge?"

Dick looked up from his hands to glare at the boy. "No."

"Not particularly," Roy said as he flopped across his bunk.

"Well, I thought he was after he decided NOT to hold me in contempt since I didn't do anything," Tim added. "You two shouldn't have been bickering," Tim said in his best Alfred tones as he released one hand from the bar and swung around.

Dick growled lowly as he approached the bars. "You whined like a baby. That's the ONLY reason he rescinded."

"I didn't DO anything to begin with. EXCEPT come on vacation with you guys. Bruce is the only one who thinks THAT should be a crime."

"Whatever! Did you get our bail money?"

"Fifteen-hundred dollars? EACH!" Tim laughed loudly. "You have GOT to be kidding. I don't have that kind of money on me. Besides, I'm a minor, I don't know if I can bail you out."

"Call Bruce for it," Dick said as his hands waved about the cell. "We can't stay here for fifteen days."

"Fifteen days in jail OR call Bruce ... I vote for jail," Roy interjected as he stretched his arms over himself, cracked his knuckles and then propped his arms under his head. "I mean, this is a nice quiet jail. I bet except for the occasional Otis, I doubt we'd have any company and I bet the food's probably not that bad."

"Yeah and I can get a nice room at the motel by the strip club," Tim said with an extra wide grin.

"STRIP CLUB!" Roy jumped from the bunk and ran to the bars. "Timmy, buddy, you've GOT to get me outta here."

"I don't wanna talk to Bruce," Tim said as he straightened up.

"Call Babs then," Dick said throwing his head back.

"She hung up on me after a diatribe about the thirty-seven phone calls between your cell phone and Megan's in less than an hour," Tim said making a face.

"HOW DID SHE ... Never mind ... she's 'the great all knowing Oracle'," Dick mimicked. He dropped on his bunk with a thud and looked up at Tim and Roy. "What are we going to do?"

Tim pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a wad of cash and started counting. Dick stood back up and joined Roy at the bars as their mouths were agape at the size of the wad of money. "Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, three thousand!" Tim said with a smile. "BUT you two have to make sure I get into the strip club with you. I'm young and impressionable and need to be influenced. BADLY influenced."

"Roy's here, you don't have to worry, you can be badly influenced by him. He's good at that," Dick added with a smile.

"Yeah I ... WAITAMINUTE!" Roy yelled.

Laughing Tim started for the outer door. "I'll have you two out in a bit, and then you can explain to Alfred when we get home why it was a matter of life and death that he wire me three thousand dollars."

Dick and Roy looked at each other as Tim left the cell block. In unison the both groaned, "Explain to Alfred. SHIT!"

Two hours and forty-five minutes, three lectures from a judge, a cop and a grandmotherly court reporter who told them how disappointed she was in them, they finally stepped outside with Tim.

"Well, there is ONE good thing," Tim said with a grin. "the car's drivable."

Dick groaned. It might be drivable, but the car was no longer the car Bruce was expecting. It was a wreck. However, it was probably in far better condition than he would be when Alfred and Bruce were done with him. He rubbed his temples as his ever present headache assaulted him. He didn't want to think about that right now. Then the walking headache known as Roy slapped him on the back and chuckled. "Think of it this way Robbie, you can enjoy the rest of the trip. The car's been wrecked and we've already been to jail."

Dick looked up at him shaking his head, his hand held up in a futile effort to stop Roy from continuing. "Don't…Don't say it - "

Roy never paused. "What else could go wrong?"

To be continued . . .