Cruel Reality
By: ConfusedHeart
Summary: Harry going through a loss. Romantic tragedy, so it's sad…but really good! Please R&R!!
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them….
Epilogue
Harry Potter was like everyone else; he walked around in town and shopped, just like a normal person and people saw him during these activities.
But no one ever saw the real Harry Potter. The Harry that they saw around town was the fake Harry Potter. The real one was buried beneath all the tissues he used while he tried to get over Draco's death.
After all that had happened to Harry, and after his graduation, he lived at the castle for a while.
He didn't want to live alone, knowing that he would be too lonely, with Draco gone and all. So he made friends with many of the teachers that he never had been taught by, and he was comfortable there.
But he still thought about Draco.
He never really got over him. He was still angry and sad inside.
All of those bottled emotions were great for his powers though. He defeated the Dark Lord with a very powerful finish.
No one in the wizarding world didn't feel the surge of angry, raw power radiating off of Harry's body as he walked down a pathway between his people after Voldemort was defeated.
That boy was so powerful that it made people wonder if he could become the next dark lord.
Some things in life are just better to be left unsaid and unanswered. And some people in your life are better off being left behind, like Ron and Hermione.
After they were finished with school, they never heard from Harry again.
Harry knew that they did not help him or comfort him in his darkest times, so he decided to treat them like he had been treated. It's not like Ron and Hermione just forgot about Harry, of course they tried contacting him, and tried to tie things together again…but Harry just did not want to reopen wounds that were already healed.
So much of his energy had been drained from him after the death of Draco.
Even though this life altering event had occurred, he put on a mask of strength during school hours. After lessons, he would immediately go to his room to study, never leaving, just incase a tear escaped his uncontrollable eyes.
This act of togetherness and strength inspired some of Harry's schoolmates. They tried harder to get over the huge loss, just like the famous, brave, and strong Harry Potter, or so they thought.
Harry had helped them get over Draco. So you could say that he affected these kid's lives by doing that.
In so many ways did Harry Potter affect everyone's life.
Harry trained and trained to affect the wizarding world by killing the most feared wizard in the world.
He started to train with Professor Snape only a few weeks after school was out. They spoke to one another about things happening with the Dark Lord and his upcoming plans, therefore putting together a plan that would work very well against him.
Snape had become somewhat of a father figure towards Harry.
The only thing that they didn't talk about was Draco.
The only time that Harry spoke, or talked about Draco was to his room, Hedwig, or just to himself, when he was all alone, where he could cry all he wanted without breaking his act.
Inside he was dieing, and alone. He needed somebody to help him, and to keep him company.
Sure other people had asked the gorgeous boy out on dates. Who wouldn't want to go out with him? But all were rejected.
After the great defeat, after many attempts of dieing, he sat in his living room.
Staring at the fire.
He was too tired to sleep, too sick to heal.
He watches the fire burning the wood to ashes, too amused to really think clearly.
Too intrigued to notice.
Reality's so cruel. He's alone…so alone
Too alone to love, and too alone to breathe any longer.
Harry had had quite an eventful day. First he defeated Voldemort, and then he stared into a fire for a few hours.
He didn't know what he was going to do now.
No one loved him, no one cared for him except his former potions professor, and he had no life.
How was he supposed to live, if he had nothing to do?
'I might as well just die' he thought to himself.
Some people on this earth feel like they have no purpose. Like no matter what they do, they'll never be good enough. It's hard when you think like that, because whenever you think about it, it chokes you up and you just can't stop thinking about how awful you are. Many people can become like this because they think that they're too fat, they're not smart enough, they're not pretty enough, someone is better at something than you are, etc. It's ridiculous how many things you can think of to make yourself cry. As painful as this may seem, it's true: many people commit suicide from these things building up on them.
In Harry's case, he wasn't loved enough. He was neglected and abused way too much. He's gone through too much, and so many deaths have built up on his conscience.
This is too much for an 18 year old boy to go through.
Harry stood up from his place on the couch.
He then walked to his bathroom and took out the dirty old razor that he had seen too many times before.
Filling up the bathtub and setting the razor on the side of it, he thought about his life.
He was still alive for only one purpose. That was to get rid of the wizarding world's biggest threat. It was as if Dumbledore didn't even really care about him. He cared about how strong he was and when he would be ready to defeat he-who-must-not-be-named.
Harry sobbed and shaked silently while sitting on the side of the tub. He wished that someone could be there to comfort him.
For a moment he thought that that was what he really wanted.
But as he thought a little bit more, he realized that what he truly wanted was to be dead.
He slowly slipped into the warmth of the soapy water that filled his bathtub almost all the way up to the brim.
Still slightly shaking, he reached over to the razor and brought it close to his face. While inspecting it, he thought it a failure of an idea. What if it didn't work?
He didn't know what to do.
As he lye in the bathtub, he began to hear the gentle patting of rain hitting the roof of his home.
There are two types of people in this world. The first type, are the people that love rain, and the second are the people who don't.
Rain is a funny thing. It can make so many feelings awaken, and so many thoughts provoked.
When the first type of person realizes that it's raining, they are excited, because they love it. They love how the rain falls to the ground and the noise that it makes. The way it smells if refreshing and it feeds the plants. When it's raining you can cuddle up with a lover and just listen, or you can watch a movie or read a book with hot chocolate. It really is a wonderful thing, but only if you love rain. The second send type of person realizes that it's raining; and it makes them sulk around not knowing what to do. When it's raining, it's cold, and you can't go outside. Many people who aren't in favor of rain say that it's the most depressing thing ever.
Harry Potter was type #1. He loves the rain. Absolutely loves it to death. I mean, you've never seen anyone as hyper and crazy as Harry when it rains. As you are probably thinking, this is totally out of character for Harry. As sad as this may sound, it's the only thing that makes this boy happy.
So when Harry first heard this announcement from the sky that it was raining…he decided to go for a walk.
He dried off, and put on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt and a coat and began to head for the door. As he did this, he attempted to grab his shoes and put them on while he was walking. This didn't go over too well. He fell over sideways with a loud thump. Never fear, he sat on the floor and hurriedly shoved his shoes on before running out the door of his common room.
He ran down the corridors of the huge Hogwarts castle, headed straight for the doors. The rain increased in volume the closer that he got to the door. Finally he arrived at it.
He faltered a minute before opening the doors unleashing the coldness and wetness that he so deeply loved. In the previous years, when it was raining at Hogwarts, he would always go outside and think about Draco. How the small droplets of water ran down his gorgeous porcelain face. How he watched him and his supposed friend, Blaise, he cringed at the thought, would run around tackling each other in the pouring rain, laughing and shivering from the weather.
He took a deep breath and opened the doors deciding that it was good for him.
As Harry made his way over to the lake, he let the rain captivate him and soak him in his clothes. He sat on the drenched lawn covering the little hill in front of the lake, not caring that he just soaked himself even more than before.
Looking over the lake, he thought himself a fool. Killing himself would just hurt everyone that cared about him. He knew how hard it was to lose someone, so he decided to stay alive.
He supposed that the rain was making him feel this way. Making him make impulsive, life altering decisions.
Life is so unfair sometimes; that you feel like God hates you. You start to feel like you are a nobody and there is nothing of importance for you to do. Life can throw so many things your way, but you just have to grit your teeth and bear it. In the end it just makes you a better person. At first it seems like you just want to die. It feels like you just can't go on living a life where you are miserable. When you hit your darkest moment, all you do is cry.
Sometimes you just can't explain why you feel this way because most people would say that you lead a privileged life. But it's more than being privileged. It's about your feelings, and everyone has them. People who are less privileged than you have feelings, so really we are all the same.
It crazy when you lose a loved one. That is one of the hardest things life is able to throw at you. But you can't dwell on it forever. You have to move on in your life, because the person you lost probably would want you to move on. Wouldn't they?
The raindrops falling on his body were a disguise for all the tears running down his face along with them.
Harry knew that he had to move on with his life, or actually so something with it.
He knew that he would never forget Draco and that he would always love him.
He knew that he had to somehow pull himself together.
He would do it for Draco.
"If Draco were here," he said to himself, "I think he would want me to be happy." he finished in a hushed voice.
He knew that it would be hard, but he had to get over him. It was the only way he could live.
Life was tragic, but it was what he was given.
It was his cruel reality.
Every time I feel alone
I can blame it on you
And I do, oh
You got me like a loaded gun
Golden sun and sky so blue, oh
We both know that we want it
But we both know you left me no choice
Chaque fois que tu ton va
You just bring me down
Je pretend que tu fais bien
So I'm counting my tears 'til I get over you
Sometimes I watch the world go by
I wonder what it's like
To wake up every single day
Smile on your face
You never tried
We both know we can't change it
But we both know we'll just have to face it
Chaque fois que tu ton va
You just bring me down
Je pretend que tu fais bien
So I'm counting my tears 'til i get over you
If only I could give you up
But would I want to let you off of this soapbox baby?
We both know that we want it
But we both know you left me no choice
Chaque fois que tu ton va
You just bring me down
Je pretend que tu fais bien, oh
So I'm counting my tears 'til I get over you
Chaque fois que tu ton va
Je pretend que tu fais bien
We both know that I'm not over you
I'm not over you
Fin
The song is "Til' I get over you" By Michelle Branch. I love that song…