by Perr
Draco's POV
Sundays are fine. No classes, no teachers, no learning, no studying new topics. Air is cool and dry, a nice change from the hot and humid of the other days in the past weeks. A lot's happened in the past weeks. It's still on my mind.
Everyone thinks I'm crazy. Okay, only my mates whom I hang around with think I'm crazy. Thankfully, they've all been hush-hush about whatever they've been suspecting, what with the noisy dreams, the non-scowling at supposed mortal enemies. I'm not going to mention any names here. If they ever found out, it'd be just too much to handle, even for myself.
I'm in a terrible state of confusion, these things they call 'feelings', the kind to do with the lust in your veins and the haze of sex holding over your head. It doesn't help to tell myself to stop thinking, because I'll just keep thinking harder about everything, especially when Potter's around most of the time during the thoughts.
My thumbs twiddle, then I shift about. Grass is fresh, wet and sweet- smelling. Everything is calm. I am calm.
Something's definitely wrong with today.
Someone's cloak brushes past me. "Hello," the female voice says, flooding me with a wash of disappointment. Not who I wanted. Pansy sits herself down next to me. Even she has a different air about her.
I don't answer her. My mind is drawing a large blank, because that's all it really does nowadays when Harry Potter's not in it. "Not going out of school?" she continues.
"No," I reply simply.
She issues herself with a thoughtful pause. "I'm sorry to hear about your loss."
"What loss?" I ask.
Pansy frowns. "Your prefect badge."
Oh. That. "It's temporary." And quit sitting so close. It makes me uncomfortable. "It's only for a while."
"A while? Draco, what's wrong with you? First you stray from your friends, and then you go completely out of control, misbehaving and such!" she says. "What's wrong?"
"I've told you so many times, there are just some things on my mind that I have to keep to myself."
"Well, it's not healthy! You can't bottle it up forever."
Watch me. "What are you getting at?" I look at her strangely.
There's something very wrong with today.
"Nothing, I'm just concerned." Well, don't be then. Pansy's hands are gathered in her lap as she looks at me. "Look, even if you won't tell me anything, I'll just let you know I'll be here for you always."
"Yeah. Thanks." I don't know if my tone is cold, but cold is what I feel when she opens her arms up to hug me. This feels really, really, awkward as I feel her chest pressed up to mine, and as my chin hooks over her shoulder.
...Hey, this isn't really so bad. She's warmer than she seems, and the feeling of a girl in my arms twists some dials in my head.
Would he feel good in my arms?
Perhaps we'll be kissing our lives away.
I pull away from that thought.
I'm fucking confused! Shit.
"I'll be off now," she says. "See you later, then."
I watch her walk away and wonder.
At the corner of my eye, I realise that a figure who's been watching me this whole time with an expression of disbelief on his face is Harry.
Everything I've been thinking fades away in an instant. When he walks away, I feel the flame in my heart flicker, and suddenly, this horrible guilt consumes me like a wildfire to dry leaves.
I'm even more fucking confused.
There is something wrong with today.
In fact, my gut tells me that the entire week ahead of me, is going to be totally wrong.
Draco's POV
Sundays are fine. No classes, no teachers, no learning, no studying new topics. Air is cool and dry, a nice change from the hot and humid of the other days in the past weeks. A lot's happened in the past weeks. It's still on my mind.
Everyone thinks I'm crazy. Okay, only my mates whom I hang around with think I'm crazy. Thankfully, they've all been hush-hush about whatever they've been suspecting, what with the noisy dreams, the non-scowling at supposed mortal enemies. I'm not going to mention any names here. If they ever found out, it'd be just too much to handle, even for myself.
I'm in a terrible state of confusion, these things they call 'feelings', the kind to do with the lust in your veins and the haze of sex holding over your head. It doesn't help to tell myself to stop thinking, because I'll just keep thinking harder about everything, especially when Potter's around most of the time during the thoughts.
My thumbs twiddle, then I shift about. Grass is fresh, wet and sweet- smelling. Everything is calm. I am calm.
Something's definitely wrong with today.
Someone's cloak brushes past me. "Hello," the female voice says, flooding me with a wash of disappointment. Not who I wanted. Pansy sits herself down next to me. Even she has a different air about her.
I don't answer her. My mind is drawing a large blank, because that's all it really does nowadays when Harry Potter's not in it. "Not going out of school?" she continues.
"No," I reply simply.
She issues herself with a thoughtful pause. "I'm sorry to hear about your loss."
"What loss?" I ask.
Pansy frowns. "Your prefect badge."
Oh. That. "It's temporary." And quit sitting so close. It makes me uncomfortable. "It's only for a while."
"A while? Draco, what's wrong with you? First you stray from your friends, and then you go completely out of control, misbehaving and such!" she says. "What's wrong?"
"I've told you so many times, there are just some things on my mind that I have to keep to myself."
"Well, it's not healthy! You can't bottle it up forever."
Watch me. "What are you getting at?" I look at her strangely.
There's something very wrong with today.
"Nothing, I'm just concerned." Well, don't be then. Pansy's hands are gathered in her lap as she looks at me. "Look, even if you won't tell me anything, I'll just let you know I'll be here for you always."
"Yeah. Thanks." I don't know if my tone is cold, but cold is what I feel when she opens her arms up to hug me. This feels really, really, awkward as I feel her chest pressed up to mine, and as my chin hooks over her shoulder.
...Hey, this isn't really so bad. She's warmer than she seems, and the feeling of a girl in my arms twists some dials in my head.
Would he feel good in my arms?
Perhaps we'll be kissing our lives away.
I pull away from that thought.
I'm fucking confused! Shit.
"I'll be off now," she says. "See you later, then."
I watch her walk away and wonder.
At the corner of my eye, I realise that a figure who's been watching me this whole time with an expression of disbelief on his face is Harry.
Everything I've been thinking fades away in an instant. When he walks away, I feel the flame in my heart flicker, and suddenly, this horrible guilt consumes me like a wildfire to dry leaves.
I'm even more fucking confused.
There is something wrong with today.
In fact, my gut tells me that the entire week ahead of me, is going to be totally wrong.