by Jas

Harry's POV

Things might have been more relaxed if Ron, 'Mione and Ginny didn't keep trying to set our new friend and I up. Not that she was unpleasant or anything. I just wasn't... ready, you would say.

Like how they keep making us get together at some place to study and then one-two-three of them slowly head off somewhere; coming up with some absolutely ridiculous excuses. It was so darn obvious. We're not stupid, you know. We do know what you're doing. Still, it was rather amusing.

The first private conversation between us went somewhat like this;

"That person..."

"Huh? What?"

"That boy in Honeydukes - Draco Malfoy, isn't it?" She managed with a hint of dislike.

I nodded slowly; the awkward feeling was ever-present.

"I saw the way he talked to you."

That I know. "Oh, that's how we converse. No worries." Well, you seem interested, for one.

"No, there was something in the way he... something in the eyes... you know?"

Wow, even she could tell. Yes, its hate, I tell you. Hate. I'm sure of it. But are the feelings mutual? Whatever it is, he started it all. All of it.

"...Looked like he was hexed or something, I think."

"Ok. Now why would he be in pain?"

She shrugged.

"Oh, I was gripping his wrist... for... um... to get his undivided attention, see. Look, you really don't have to worry over it, that's just him." And I left it there; going over to Ron and 'Mione at the table.

But she, being a girl and all, probes further. Apparently, my side of the story doesn't seem quite enough.

"So, this Malfoy person's been chiding you guys ever since year one?"

Yes. Now will you be quiet and would someone please change the damn topic?

Ron starts calling Malfoy a list of things; even I've only heard half of it.

As much as she loathes Malfoy, 'Mione isn't all that pleased, and we're treated to an earful which Mrs Weasley would have been proud of.

Thank you!

Time at night is really in the doldrums; good chance for thinking. No one to disturb me; no one to question me about anything; and I'm beginning to think about a lot of things again. Of which, whether that whole kiss-under-the-invisibility-cloak-thing was really his attempt to shut me up, like the coward claimed. Or, was it something else... something else which I also experience, for example my sudden pulsating heart; a rush of blood and hormones throughout my body, like how it is now.

I know my heart doesn't go thumpthumpthump when I see Ron or Hermione, when I speak to Ron or 'Mione; I don't wish to hide my face when they smile at me. But when it's that ex-arch-enemy-not-exactly-friend of mine, there's a totally different vibe. I cannot comprehend this something-else, yet. And I don't allow myself to acknowledge it... yet, I add, myself.

I don't even feel violated, or as violated as I should feel. Maybe I should ask Ron how he'll feel if I suddenly kiss him. But it is not like I've developed feelings for the boy. Yes, I do "love" my friends, but this... he is not even my friend, in the first place.

And besides the whole antagonize-Potter-thing, Malfoy's been acting weird ever since. Sometimes he's quite un-Malfoy-like, and sometimes, the usual. I have a hunch he'll tell me something soon. I've been doing too much thinking these days, and it always leaves me more confused than ever. So maybe I should stop doing that.

But that's exactly what I'm doing now.

Not helping.

I swear I can't keep this forever. Someone's gotta help me. Obviously he wouldn't, he'll make everything messier than it already is.