Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl belongs to Eoin Colfer. Although if you're a paranoid person who believes in magic, you might argue that because Artemis Fowl is a real person he belongs to himself and possibly his mother and father. Marylin vos Savant actually does belong to herself, and for anyone who doesn't know, she has the highest known IQ. (190, on a test where the average is 100). She is also an American and if Arty was smarter than her he would have said the highest recorded IQ in the world, rather than in Europe.

Author's Note: There is a point to Liam. He is not just an unsatisfactory clone of Artemis whose personal value is about the same as Mark Hamil in Star Wars (ie. A main character without any acting skills, depth or personality). This was originally going to be short with the only plot being the character development between Artemis and someone who could be a rival or a friend. Liam had to be smart so that he would be just as isolated as Artemis and subject to the same type of prejudices.

Please note that my knowledge of the Irish school system is absolutely nil and so I have based this off books I've read set in the British schooling system. So all of my assumptions are probably entirely wrong but just think Hogwarts terms and holidays to make sense of it all. Please note that this jumps about 3 quarters of a year within the chapter and so try to pick up the small hints to tell you when it is.

Chapter Four

Camembert and Calcium Carbonate

"That's the problem with winning right from the start, thought Ender. You lose friends."

- Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)

School was not Liam Brambling's favourite place in the weeks after Artemis Fowl graced St. Bartleby's with his presence. The word had spread quickly that Liam was no longer the smartest boy in the school. The new kid was better, quicker and had more complicated answers to science questions. As the other boys realised this it was Artemis they went to if they wanted tutoring, or an assignment explained, and the attention that had been focused on Liam for so long was diverted. He had always complained when people called him a freak, or had come to him for help involving a simple maths question, but he had enjoyed it. He had liked people acknowledging that he was smart. Had liked the recognition he got for being the smartest, the same way the jocks liked respect for being the best at their sport. And he didn't have that any more.

Liam had always been deprived of social skills, the way most "astonishingly brilliant" children are. If he was honest with himself, he would have sought out Artemis Fowl's companionship for the simple reason of possibly being able to have something more than a one sided conversation, unlike that which Liam had with the other boys. For a genius of 150 IQ or more, talking to someone average, or even the higher end of normal, was like anyone else trying to hold an in depth conversation with someone severely mentally handicapped. That's what he should have done. If he had only done that things would have been profoundly different. For better or worse, nobody could possibly guess.

After a while though, the other boys realised that when Artemis Fowl wanted them to go away and stop bothering him, he actually meant it. He wasn't much help to anyone who even managed to capture his attention because his explanations were designed to confound the asker even more. These were yet another version of his infamous mind games that he played on absolutely everyone. From students, to teachers, to the Psychiatrist, Doctor Shortis, who finally left the school (mumbling and in the back seat of a hospital van) after one twenty-minute introductory session with Artemis. The project that Liam had been working so hard towards, stolen and achieved in twenty minutes and the bets were made void by Artemis' interference. When Principal Guiney asked Artemis what had happened, he had replied with an evasive answer about psychiatrists having more mental disorders because they realise the symptoms of diseases within themselves that anyone else wouldn't.

In Artemis' defence it could be said that he was creating his own form of mental stimulation with his mind games and outside activities (legal and illegal). He was exceptionally bored because, quite frankly, he had written half their Commerce textbook when he was 10. Artemis would have also have benefited from a relationship with Liam, but even if he had realised this he probably wouldn't have acted upon it. A quote about stubborn mules could adequately describe these two people. They had declared war to see who could out-do the other and to offer friendship would be worse than surrender.

The students wanting help gradually migrated back to Liam but by then he had started his own project. Not with the same amount of focus or drive as Artemis had in his project to rescue his father, but it had the same personal purpose. He needed to free his genius and feed his intellect so he wouldn't end up in the same hospital as Doctor Shortis.

* * * * *

Artemis was rather resentful of the fact that Liam Brambling hated him right from the start. He put some effort into gaining the respect of the other student, but things had been going downhill from the first science lesson. He deserved that one answer, though. Nobody should be so stupid as to think they were the best of the best, because the world doesn't work like that. There was always someone who was better or smarter than you and people have to accept that. Artemis accepts that. Marylin vos Savant was smarter than him. By 4 IQ points too.

Artemis was looking for … something … in Liam Brambling. He most definitely wasn't looking for a friend. Friends were a weakness that could be used against you. They could betray you. He was simply feeling the effects of not having Butler around him as a companion. He needed to have someone to talk to about his ideas and plans to find his father. Not to give any input or criticism, but to be there so that Artemis could get his ideas out and so be more able to see the mistakes in them himself. Someone to bounce ideas off so that they made more sense on the return trip.

He wasn't looking for a friend or an enemy. He was looking for a true rival. Someone who it was challenging and interesting to be around. Someone who could provide real competition because otherwise being the best was rather boring. This realisation, like many things, did not come to Artemis until much later, at a time when this information would be particularly unhelpful.

* * * * *

Liam sat back and re-read the work he had just typed up. It wasn't his best oration but the impact was enough to find support against the latest "making the world a better place" ploy by the Americans. The U.S. Government was trying to gain support in all their allied nations for a "pre-emptive strike" on India and Pakistan and UN peacekeeping involvement in Kashmir. The last essay was really about how the American's refer to their 'allies', but the 'allies' just call them Americans. The side nations were under the corporate power of America and they considered themselves undeniably allied to the U.S., while it is questionable as to wether or not the Americans are allied to them - if they would stick up for the interests of Australia or Canada if the time arose.

He thought about the content for a moment before signing the bottom with the pseudonym 'Taliesin'. That was the name he used most often, and especially when publishing anything dealing with political predictions or trends. The name had come from the Celtic mythological figure and although it gave some hints as to where the writer of Taliesin might be, it was worth it to bask in the irony. He had a few other pen names, the second favourite being "Aeschines" and various throwaway names that he used to reply to Taliesin or Aeschines, offering other opinions on what was written. Most of the essays were only posted on the net, but a few of the more groundbreaking had been picked up and used in magazines and newspapers.

Liam heard the door behind him open and minimised the document so quickly it would have made a man looking up porn sites in work hours proud. Rob Edwards, a short 5th grader, came up behind, peering at the statis bar at the bottom of the screen. Liam covered it with his hand and spun around in his swivel chair.

"What's up, kid?"

"Don't call me kid, Brambling. I'm years older than you."

"Sorry, it's reflex from the summer holidays with my little sister. She's usually the only one who tries to read what I'm working on. And you are 8 inches shorter than I. So… what is it?"

"Oh, Dr McGrath gave us this code-cracking competition." He waved a wad of papers in front of Liam's face. "I just wanted to know - "

"- If I'd do it for you? What's the price?"

"I'm not wanting you to do it for me. I just wanted to tell you about it. It's a national comp and the first person who cracks it wins, I dunno, government privileges and some fat award. I think it's impossible, but you have a chance at least. They do say it has an answer. I bought you a copy of the sheets."

The wad of paper Rob handed to Liam had a completely nonsensical array of numbers and symbols scattered all over it, without any form of order as to how they were set out. Most of the symbols were repeated but sometimes they looked upside down or backwards and it was possible that the photocopy was upside down as well. Quite a few of the characters appeared to be represented as numeric fractions but you couldn't be sure that they didn't represent an abbreviated word, like in sign language where there were signals for individual letters and also signs for entire words to make communication quicker.

If there was ever such a thing as a global language this is how it would be written. Liam could see bastardised characters from at least 7 recognisable and common languages, but it was the way that they all sat together in a jumbled lump that was the part that would cause difficulties.

Liam singled out a character that looked like a small animal perched on a bowl or a half circle. "This is ancient Egyptian. A symbol for the common people or the country-men." He scanned the rest of the sheet, seeing a few more characters that looked vaguely Egyptian. He was about to point out something that could be a version of an Arabic character when he realised that Rob had already left his room. Liam shrugged and turned back to his article signed Taliesin. He quickly saved the work and shut down the machine, all the while scanning the code print-outs for recognisable symbols. Code was what he did best.

* * * * *

Artemis quite definitely didn't like his teachers. Aside from the fact that they were all incompetent twits who insisted he learn from a text book he wrote, they wanted him to be available to help others. It was a very painful experience but at least none of the students had come back for more. Well, none of the students up till now. Joshua Steward was a stubby, tag-along type boy and so desperate for a friend that he'll settle for a kid 3 years younger, 98% smarter, who was hated by everyone else and, to top it off, hated Joshua. It was probably the fact that Artemis wasn't allowed to run away from him that cemented his drooling, loyal dog feelings. The teachers thought that Artemis had a lot of spare time, but do they seriously think that the new Dublin Opera House is going to design itself?

As he entered a small dorm for a number of 5th graders, he was greeted by complete silence. All four 15-year-olds had their heads down in reference books and were scribbling little notes in red pen in the margins of multiple pages of nonsense characters. Joshua was the first to give up on what he was doing and so saw Artemis standing at the door.

"Hey, Fowl. I'm just about to go crazy. Do you want to watch? Dr McGrath gave us this code problem to figure out. It's for some competition, but it is absolutely impossible. The only symbol any of us have is this stupid squirrel thing. And the only way we have that is Rob gave the comp to Liam Brambling - he's in your year right? - and he could just name some of the symbols immediately. He's a bloody freak!"

"What is it?"

"Here, you can have my copy. It's not like I'm going to get anywhere with it anyway. You're an even bigger freak than Brambling, so I'm sure you can do this." Joshua handed over a wad of papers that was already rumpled and crushed, with a tomato soup stain in a corner. He stuffed the end of an iced doughnut into his mouth and pointed a sticky hand at the squirrel figure. "That's the one that Brambling knows. It means the 'common people' in Egyptian or Arabic or something."

"No…" Artemis' voice was drawn out as he peered at the page. "In this context it's more like the people other than the people. It's not common people, it's like an outsider, or a foreigner."

"How the hell do you know that?" Asked a boy from the corner. "You don't, do you? You're just saying that to prove Brambling wrong. If you two would talk to each other instead of being rivals, you could have Principal Guiney mental in a day."

But Artemis wasn't listening. He had realised what nobody else on the Earth would be able to realise. The squirrel-figure wasn't mutilated ancient Egyptian. It was Gnommish.