by Jas

Harry's POV

I should think the Boy's Dorm would be empty now, which is all the better. It started snowing a week ago. I like this part of the year best, when almost everything outside is white; the trees laced with snow, and the lake frozen. It's really beautiful. Except that it gets really cold whenever you play Quidditch. Who plays Quidditch during winter? We do. Well, that is, unless there's a blizzard. And it's crazy. I always return to the Tower with a numb nose, numb fingers, and possibly a brain-freeze.

On reaching the top stair to the Dorm, I realise that I won't be going anywhere for the Christmas break. I'll be here in Hogwarts, as always. But hey, Hogwarts was much more a home to me than Privet Drive ever was. I wonder if my friends will be going away. They've only both gone away once, that was last year. I'll just have to wait and see.

I was right, the Room was empty. How can I be wrong about it anyway, after staying here for so long. So what shall I do now with my free time? I guess I could revise Potions or something. Hermione would be so proud. I chuckle. Fat chance. I think I'll write a letter... to Malfoy.

I sit with my back against the wall, knees bent and feet on the bed, trying to write in this sitting position. Deciding to write a letter was the easy part, because I realise that I don't know what to write. There's nothing much to tell him, or, nothing at all. After that little "conversation" on the mirror, I know now that he doesn't care much about things. I guess I can only write Hi Malfoy, I'm bisexual now, how 'bout we meet up later. That he'll bother. I'm quite sure of it. But I'm not writing that.

I close my eyes and prop my forehead on my knees, thinking a little. But it's not much use. Only past conversations with the boy start playing in my head. Everything's just, so bittersweet, as what Hermione might say. I apologized to her for running off like that the other day. She knows I haven't told her everything. Still think she hasn't fully forgiven me yet, but at least she's talking to me. It's very scary how things change so quickly. I start to wonder what had started it all. A sudden Hey, Harry interrupts this.

I jump a bit. A figure of a girl is at the door. It's Alexis. It's unfair that girls can come into our Dorm anytime they please, there's just no privacy. Or maybe I should just close the door next time.

"Hey, come in." I'm under the impression she's here because she's bored.

"Are you busy?" she says as she spies the quill and parchment; she sits at my feet.

"Oh, no... no matter. So, what's up?" She looks relieved. I put the things away quickly.

"I'm just taking a little break from the homework. Don't exactly understand Arithmancy."

"That's Hermione's subject. Why don't you get her to help you? She'll help anyone, but she's a little busy these days." People actually think we're together. I mean, she's not exactly my type. Especially my closer friends, they should have known.

"She is helping me."

"Ok, that's good. She's doing a good job of it, I should think." She nods. This is a bit awkward.

We talk for a little while more. Just when I think she's leaving, she says, "Have you seen Ginny?"

I stop for a second or two, pondering over that. What kind of question was that? She should know where Ginny is; I thought I saw her in the Common Room too. "Um, no, I don't know where..."

She moves a little closer to me, then very close. I realise that I'm not in a very good position. Before I can ask her "What're you doing?" I feel and see nothing except her pressed against me.

You stole that! I wanted to shout, to stop everything. But I kiss her back instead, which according to normal circumstances, was not supposed to happen. I'm not very used to these sort of situations.

I can feel her hands on my back, then at the back of my head; while mine were holding her so that we don't fall down the side of the bed. I feel hot despite the weather. I don't know what's happening anymore. If someone walks in... if anyone walks in...

I try pulling away but realise I cannot because she's on top. I push her off a bit, and struggle to say stop. I manage to sit up and readjust my glasses, taking in sharp breaths. She sits up too, looking confused and absolutely embarrassed. "I have to..." I begin, but didn't complete, as I dart out of the room. I have to go for Quidditch, which is the truth.

I start walking, and running, down the stairs and along the corridors very quickly, looking at the ground all the time, panting again after awhile. I literally bumped into some people in my haste. It was the hormones, I tell you. Her hormones, and my hormones... I'd better stop before it sounds like we had sex, which we did not. It's still rather hot. I bet my hair's messier than it already is. Not like I care, much.

I slowed down my pace when I get out from the Tower. I don't know... I just need to get away. Walking slower now to cool down, I notice that there isn't any one in the corridors, even though some footsteps can still be heard.

A certain, lone blond appears at the opposite end of the hallway. The hallway isn't very long so I can see his face quite clearly from here. I stop walking. He doesn't. Right, being unable to control an attraction doesn't mean I have to talk to him.

There are footsteps behind me, and it's getting louder. A figure runs past me, and straight towards Malfoy, who pauses. It's Pansy Parkinson.

She wraps her arms round his, and utters something I can't hear. Trying hard not to laugh, I raise my eyebrow at him. He throws me a dirty look. Now I really want to laugh. He looked really cute doing that. The whole atmosphere was different from that of dinner table business. I push my hands in my pockets and start walking slowly, keeping the eye contact with him the whole time, until we stood almost abreast. Pansy's still clinging on to him.

Slowing down deliberately, I decide to say, "You can't fool me." You can drop the act now, I know. But decide not to say that. Pansy shoots me a death glare. Ooh, scary.

I continue walking away, and I hear Pansy saying, "What, Draco? What did he just say?" He doesn't reply, or at least I can't hear it. Not everyday you hear Draco Malfoy get shit from a girl, besides Prof. McGonagall. Heck it, I'd bet he's probably not even listening.