Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda or the movie the title comes from. I'm broke. I don't own Fire Emblem either. Or Death portrayed by Terry Pratchett. Or much else.

Romeo must die (Navi too)

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

Death said

Author's note:

I am a new author. If anyone has heard of me , I was in the guise of Kitsuneblade. I am not because someone stole that name. This story takes place post MM, after Link has grown up again.(Does that happen? I never beat MM) He has Navi back because hating on her is fun.

Link lay in the gap between sleep and wakefulness, half dozing so he could be easily awakened. He felt a touch on his mind, like a sky-blue cloud or a pink cat. (Minds are weird.)

'Huh . . . ,' he thought, confused.

'It's me, Zelda,' she thought, I'm in your head. Might I say, it's cramped in here, she thought, giggling." I am a telepath, and I need to practice.

'Dude, get outta my head, it's not fit for a lady . . . ,' thought Link.

'Oh goddesses, is that ME?! That's practically porn! Not even practically! Where'd you get such dirty thoughts?! Ewwww . . .

'Can I wake up now? I'm blaming the thoughts on hormones, so don't get mad.'

"Wake up!!!" yelled Impa. You are in huge trouble. Your father will be furious!

"Link . . . " Zelda whispered.

"Oh shit," said Link. There it goes . . .

Hyrule's finest guards broke down the door, surrounding Link.

"Watch out!" yelled Navi, demonspawn in fairy form. "There are guards who will look under the bed where Link, who has slept with the princess is probably hiding!!!" She flew around, gesturing helpfully.

"Navi, before I'm executed, I will swat your tiny fairy ass into the WALL," Link yelled.

" You're under arrest for deflowering the princess without a permit!!!" yelled the captain.

" Zelda," said Link calmly, "Why didn't you tell me I NEEDED A FRIGGIN' PERMIT!!!" ( The first part was calm)

" Link, jump out the window and don't yell," Zelda said. She gave him a small push and moved to set a plan of her own in motion.

Link jumped out the window. And fell on a prince.

" A lover escaping from angry parents, with only his wits, his sword and his lady's touch to keep him going. Sniff... how gallant," the handsome blue haired prince proclaimed.

(Pretty boys taking all the girls from nerds like me...It makes me sick. If in Super Smash Bros. he wasn't so cool I would hate him.)

"Who are you?" asked Link.

"You've got to keep moving!" Navi screeched.

"I am Prince Marth of Altea! The man proclaimed. He lithely slipped out from underLink, brushind the dirt off. ("I got some dirt on my ya brush it off for me?" I don't own that)My companion is Lord Roy of Pherae."

"That fairy is annoying!" Roy remarked.

(Roy's half dragon. How can he not kick ass?)

" Damn Straight!" Link agreed. "But why are you here?" He hauled himself off of the ground, muttering.

"Roy and I got a letter saying we need to help you escape from pursuit."

"LINK MUST DIE!!!!!" said a voice from the castle, the king himself." AND GET THAT FAIRY!!!"

"Maybe we should go before all hell breaks loose," Roy stated.

" My colleague has a point. Shall we run like hell?"

" What do you think?" asked Link who was running.

" Wait for Tingle!" said the second most evil creature ever to walk Hyrule's green earth.

"I am the first, author. Don't dare forget it! Said Ganondorf, breaking the seal from the sacred realm, and causing Zelda to say unprincessly words.

"Noooooo!!!!" "Why meeeee!!!!" Link whined.

Many people ask that. said Death in leaden tones, looking at a hourglass inscribed with a Triforce. It had strange places where sand floated up instead of down.

Even I don't know when your time will come. It could be interesting to watch, however.

"Dude, you're going to watch ? You asshole! Marth, Roy look..." Link realised time had stopped for them. He put his sword away, and shook his head.

" Damn, man."

Link felt time return to him. He continued his run to southern Hyrule, Marth and Roy at his side.

Will they make it? What will happen to Navi? (flyswatter) Will Tingle stalk them? What is Zelda up to?Find out next time. Fufufufufufufufu...
"How could you forget the King of Evil!" throws ball of evil magicat author

Review. You have been warned. hits back with stick