Disclaimer – I borrowed some ideas for this chapter from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" which is JKR's. Bits you don't recognise are mine. Simple! Oh, and I borrowed the title from JKR too. It's hers, not mine in the slightest.
In the name of Helga: Year One
Hazel Whinlatter
Owl post again
Salford, England – December 1991
Dear Rachel
Helloooooooooo! How are you m'dear? As you can probably tell from the fact that this letter got to you in the first place, I made it back from Kings Cross safely enough and am now enjoying the 'high life' here at home. I say safely, but if you see any blood on the sheet, it's my owl (Bobby)'s fault. Bit my finger when he saw I was writing a letter, the lazy little sod.
I didn't see much of you on the train. Sorry for that, but Snape got just a little bit miffed following that prank of ours and insisted to Sprout that we should be kept in isolation during the journey home. I don't think he thought we were very funny. At least Lenny kept hold of his bongos – we'll be needing them for revenge!
Oh yes, the infamous prank. Bet you're dying to find out what it was, eh? Don't worry, you'll find out in due course. All I need is a piece of magical photography paper from the Wizarding Supplies shop. Could take a few weeks before I get the galleons, but when I do – dear Merlin, you'll love it.
I wouldn't recommend sending your reply back with Bobby, by the way. Judging from the look he gave me just now, he'll be out to commit grievous bodily harm on the next witch or wizard who gives him a job to do.
Yours bleedingly (laugh at my name and I'll send you some undiluted Bubotuber pus with my next letter),
Verity Veronica Vector
xxx
Newcastle – upon – TyneEngland – December 1991
Dear Antony
I do hope this letter gets to you alright. I'm still not used to this sending letters by owl business – for a Muggle born, it's an odd thing to get used to. Floo powder's even worse. Rebecca's staying with me at the moment and forgot to mention how she was getting here – Mum nearly had a heart attack when she saw her stroll out of the fire during the news. Especially as we don't even have a proper fire.
I think she'll take a while to adjust to me being a witch. Not to mention the logic of having to go all the way down to London to get the train to Hogwarts – it'd take about a quarter of the time to get there from here!
Anyway, that's not really the reason I wrote to you. You're best mates with David, right? I was just wondering if you'd heard from him lately – I mean, if you have, has he said that anything's wrong with him? I'm a little bit worried, to be honest. I didn't want to say whilst we were still at school – you never know who's going to overhear – but I overheard the strangest thing on the Friday morning. I was walking into the dormitory corridor from the common room, and the door to the first year boys' dorm was a little bit open – you know how it's right opposite ours? I heard him talking to somebody. I knew it couldn't have been you, or Ernie or Justin, because I'd just left you lot at breakfast. Rachel was there too, and the other girls were still in bed when I got back, so it couldn't have been any of them. Julian was in the common room, so it can't have been him, either.
On top of that, what he was saying just didn't make any sense – he was telling someone to "stop it", but how could that be right if he was on his own? He sounded like he was really getting angry and upset, and then he told whoever it was to go away and threw a book! The thing is, you know what David's like. He's really confident and outgoing and never scared – it scares me to think what could be bad enough to get to him. Do you think someone at school could be having a go? Anyway, I wrote a letter to him as well, asking him if he was alright and everything, and this is what I got back. There's definitely something wrong with him, Antony. He's our friend, we need to help.
Hope you can make more sense of this than me.
Sal
xxx
ManchesterEngland – December 1991
Dear Sally-Anne,
Didn't think you were the eavesdropping type (just kidding). Listen, I don't know exactly what it was that you heard but don't worry about me. I'm fine. I used to talk in my sleep when I was little, it probably just started again. New surroundings and all that.
Hope you're having a fun holiday,
David
Leeds, England – December 1991
Dear Miss Verity Veronica Vector (snigger),
Aaaw, come on, I bet you weren't serious about the Bubotuber pus. That's too much of a Slytherin thing to do!
Seriously, what was with this joke in Snape's class? All I can work out from what you've said so far is that it involves Christmas, house colours, Bernard the Christmas Hippogriff and photographic evidence. Surely a bit of info won't hurt?
Rachel
X
SalfordEngland – December 1991
Dear Miss Bagshot –
Want to bet? You'd better get some bandages ready sweetheart :p Anyway, as for our antics in Potions class, I'm all ready to tell you the tale behind it now. But I hope you're sitting comfortably, as it's a bit of a long haul.
We already knew that Snape wouldn't be on time for class – we'd ensured that would happen already by telling Bubble, one of the house elves, about his sore throat. You know what they're like, such bleeding hearts – as we predicted, Bubble accosted him as he was leaving the hall and wouldn't let him leave (she kept insisting to him that he should come back to the kitchens with her for some honey and lemon). Of course, Snape being Snape, didn't take her up on the offer and apparently muttered something like not being certain there'd be anything left of the dungeon if a class with Hufflepuff sixth years were left to their own devices in it.
Anyway, when you get into NEWT Potions, he tends to write up the basic notes and instructions on the board so you can get on without him actually having to interact with any students. He also tells you what Potion you'll be studying a class in advance – which was an essential part of the plan. Ever heard of Veritaserum? Its active ingredient is essence of wormwood root, which, if you leave out, is basically a Potion that doesn't make the drinker tell the truth, but instead renders them unable to control themselves entirely.
So, we figured that if you add essence of wormwood leaf instead (get me, I got 104 on my Potions OWL!), what you'd end up with is a Potion that mimics the actions of that person when drunk. Kat read about it in an old 'Daily Prophet' article about how truth potions were discovered – something to do with wanting to copy Muggle drinking games without getting hangovers and getting confused – and let us in on the info.
Back to the present. We were able to start brewing the potions before Snape got to class, and to cut a longer story into something less long, add the leaf essence instead of root essence without him noticing (I think the Ravenclaws in our class had thought we'd finally gone mad under the pressure). And finally, in comes the Professor, cheerfully as usual, who looks straight at me and says – bearing in mind I'm still wearing green and silver tinsel round my neck –
"Miss Vector, if any of my students were to make spectacles of themselves this year I would have thought it to be a Gryffindor. Provided that the no doubt amusing anecdote doesn't prevent you from completing today's task on time, would you care to explain yourself?"
I said back to him – "Sir, I just thought by wearing Slytherin colours for the day I'd show a bit of Christmas spirit. Somebody had to."
Cue sharp intake of breath from the blue half of the class.
Miserable git glared in my general direction and as he was replying, starts to scribble a note on a bit of scrap parchment, which he eventually folded up and gave back to me. "No doubt that your insolence wasn't deliberate, Miss Vector," he rasped, " as I was under the impression from your past examination performances that you actually cared about your Potions marks. However, your rudeness and over exuberance has disturbed my class, and I wish you to take this note to your House Head, to inform her that you shall not be performing your Prefect duties at the start of next term as you shall be in detention with me."
Rotter Still, it had the desired effect as it meant I could leave the room, taking a small vial of the modified potion with me. And who should I come across on my way out of the dungeon? You guessed it, none other than darling Bubble the house elf, with some of her home-made remedy. Doesn't it just tell you what Snape's like when only a house-elf wants to help him out? In any case, Bubble tottered up to me with this huge goblet full of sloshing goo, and says – "Miss Verity! Is you knowing where Professor Snape is? Bubble is worried, miss – his throat is not going to be getting any better if he is not taking anything for it!" Bless.
Like all house-elves, Bubble will stop at nothing to help her masters, so we knew that one of them, if not Bubble herself, would come up from the kitchens at some point. "Bubble", I said, "would you like me to take that to the Professor for you? He's teaching in the dungeons at the moment, and you're not big enough to open the doors and carry that goblet as well."
Once she'd gone, it was lets-spike-the-teacher's-drink time.
Hang on, I've run out of parchment – I'll send this for now and write to you with the rest of it when I've got some more.
V xx
Little Groaning, England – December 1991
Sally,
That's odd – sleep-talking? He's never mentioned that before, or done it, since he's been here. And why would he be having adjustment troubles three months after the event? Not to mention that he can't even have been sleep talking at all. He was one of the first awake in our dorm that morning – I remember getting out of bed and seeing him putting his tie on.
He's definitely hiding something. Write if you find out anything else.
Take care,
Antony
SalfordEngland – December 1991
Rachel,
Sorry about that. You know what it's like when you run out of stationery. Especially if you're anything like me, and your only supply comes from the stuff you nick from a Hogwarts stationery cupboard. Not used to going out and getting my own, ha ha!
So, where was I? Oh yes, the sore throat cure. Anyway, courtesy of Bubble, I'd got the goblet full of drink, and as I'm sure you've guessed by now, when she turned her back to return to the kitchens, I quickly slipped the modified serum into the cure. Of course, Snape was none too pleased to see me so soon after sending me out of the class and I genuinely thought he was going to hex me so fast I'd never forget it!
"Miss Vector", he drawls in that funny way of his (did you realise that some people in this school actually find that sexy? Ugh. Anyway I shouldn't be talking to you about that…too young as you are to hear about notions of such depravity!), "I suggest you quickly explain yourself, or you will soon be wearing that goblet for a novelty Christmas accessory, seeing as you appear to be so fond of them."
"Sorry, Professor" I replied, "but one of the House-Elves accosted me in the corridor and wouldn't let me leave until I promised to give you this!"
I walked forward and put the goblet on his desk, and the greasy git muttered something under his breath about House-Elves and popping. Never let it be said that Slytherins don't have a sense of humour – albeit shockingly bad ones. Now, Snape's throat must have been really bad because he downed the thing without even questioning. More fool him!
I turned round to leave the room again, and just as I left, slipped off the Slytherin coloured garlands I'd been wearing and gave them to Lenny. I didn't go straight to Sprout though – I'm not that daft – but instead snuck behind the door and pulled a camera out of my pocket that I'd borrowed from one of the Muggle-born Ravenclaws. He looked at me like I'd grown an extra head when I asked him to show me how it worked and that it'd be worth it in the end. All I had to do then was wait. And not for long, either – you'll find out later in school that anything similar to veritaserum works almost immediately.
As soon as he's finished the last drop, he sort of stumbled backwards and grabbed the table like he needed to steady himself. Cassie Newman nearly blew it by looking at the door and giggling, silly bint. Then he gets up, looks around the classroom and blows it all off with a glare, telling everyone to "get on with your work. You should be at the next stage of the procedure about now. I will walk around the room and inspect your work." Perfect.
He started with the Ravenclaws over on the right, meaning that he had his back to Lenny. A quick spot of wand-work (the Weasley twins might be great pranksters, but this guy does his bit for Hufflepuff pride easily enough), and he'd charmed one of the garlands I'd left him yellow and black, another blue and bronze, and the one he'd been wearing maroon and gold. Unfortunately – for Snape – the neglection of his cauldron meant that its contents suddenly started spewing black smoke smelling of burning rubber, catching the Prof's attention and causing most of the class to Bubble-head themselves pretty sharpish. Storming over to the table – as best as he could seeing as the potion he'd taken was now making him rock from side to side like Marcus Flint after two bottles of Butterbeer – with all his focus on our hero, Cassie and a trusty Ravenclaw called Richard (the one who lent me the camera, had to let him in on things after that favour) levitated the garlands away from Lenny's lap and around Snape's neck. Fastest Levitation charms I've ever seen! Now the Prof's less resembling one of his own house after an average visit to the Three Broomsticks, and more like a Gryffindor team beating Slytherin for the Quidditch Cup. In other words, he's nigh paralytic.
The two people nearest him leap up and grab him under each arm with the pretence of helping him stay on his feet, to which he replies "Yessssh, thanksh…uhhhm, whaaaaa?" or, words to that effect anyway. Words? Well, you know what I mean.
This is where I jump from behind the door, yell "now!", and Lenny gets the Prof with one of McGonagall's switching spells – doubt she'd approve of our interpretation of it, mind – that turn his robes a fetching shade of Magenta and cause him to suddenly be sporting a Father Christmas hat, just like Bernard the Christmas Hippogriff.
The force from Lenny's spell was bloody brilliant, because the flash of light it emitted meant that our victim (or as I like to put it, model) looked right up – and straight at me.
The perfect photo opportunity.
Even more perfect is that just like a night of heavy drinking, our modified serum causes complete memory loss, so once we left the class for dinner, Snape had no memory of events that day at all. In fact, the only regret I have from the whole proceedings is that my once-cute Bernard badge now has a horrible, lank black hair-piece and instead of singing when pressed, growls "I'll hex you into oblivion, young lady!" still, might make nice present for younger sister.
Oh, and Kat'll kill me if I forget this bit…don't go getting ideas, young lady!
Yours cunningly,
VVV (hey, haven't I written enough?)
Hogwarts, December 1991
Father,
As you requested, I have made preparations to stay at school over the Christmas holidays to keep an eye on the Nott boy – disgrace to his kind that he is, as you quite rightly say. Hufflepuff indeed. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd somehow bribed the school to prevent himself being placed in Slytherin, as is his heritage. I have noticed that Dumbledore is just the sort to give in to any bleeding heart with a pathetic excuse. All I need to find out with regards to this is his motive. I will not let you down, Father. I promise to find out what he's been up to and remit the information as soon as possible. I assume this is all part of the Dark Lord's plan?
Unfortunately, Nott has been keeping himself to himself for much of this term, or remaining in the sole company of his house-mates. I have seen him particularly in the company of a boy named Whitley. A mudblood, no less (his father is Muggle). Perhaps this will be of some use to you.
One thing I did find out is that he is very much weakened when in the presence of those with the knowledge of his past. He is worried about what his little friends will make of him. Very much so – that I know for sure! If you want me to get anything out of him, I can do it. A little manipulation and anything is possible, I think. Just let me know when the time is right, and I assure you that I know what to do.
Always in your service,
Your ever obedient son.
THE END
A/N: Ah, you didn't think I'd give all my plot away, did you? Muhahaha. The identity of the letter writer is being kept under wraps just for now…but feel free to guess!
I apologise again for the long wait…I make this one ten or eleven months (oops!) but I assure you this was merely to do with workload at Uni issues and not a desire to drop writing fanfic entirely. I'm hoping to get back into the habit now and balance things more.
Anyway, I'm totally loving my characters so I'd never abandon them. Tell me what you think and I hope this was worth the wait!
shewhodares