Public Eavedropping

By CreativelyCrazy

Summary: A collection of ficlets inspired by the Public Eavesdropping section of the newspaper I subscribe to.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! And I decided to complete the cliffhanger, this thing might turn into something with and actual PLOT! YAY!

Disclaimer: The coolest things in the world are not mine.

Chapter Eight: A Suicidal Dumbledore

"There's something very compelling about death.''

Madame Maxime, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Snape, and Professor McGonagall ran (or in Madam Maxime's case, powerwalked) as fast as they could. The adults had no clue where the students were leading them, so they were on their guard.

"We need to get in the Room of Requirement. Everyone, concentrate on that and pace back and forth three times." Hermione announced, knowingly.

"Pointless rubbish," Snape replied. "Alohomora!"

Nothing.

Snape began to order Professor McGonagall around in his disbelief. "Minerva, quickly un-Vanish the door!"

The good professor tried. "It doesn't work."

"OPEN! I COMMAND YOU!" Snape screamed.

Nothing.

"REDUCT—"

"STOP!!" Ginny screamed. "How about we just try what Hermione said instead of biting each other's heads off. We're running out of time!"

"Fine, fine..." Snape grumbled.

They did as Hermione told. A nicely polished, brown door appeared in the wall.

"Let's go." She threw open the door.

There lay an old man, blood dripping from the gaping knife wound in his chest. His long white beard was stained red by the blood.

Hermione fainted.

Ginny collapsed.

Madame Maxime gasped.

Professor McGonagall had a nervous breakdown.

Snape had a party. "Oh yeah, he's deaad, he's deaaad!"

"STOP THE MADNESS!!" Harry appeared out of thin air.

"Did the authoress want you here too?" Hermione asked.

"Yup, and now I wish I was back in the common room," Harry said grimly, looking down at the dead Dumbledore.

A party horn blew.

"Wasn't me," Snape said. "I was busy putting up the pinata."

"APRIL FOOOOOOOOOL!" Dumbledore yelled.

"IT'S NOT APRIL!!!!" the students screamed in reply.

"Well, I was just trying to see how bereaved you would be when you saw my corpse. Although death may be another adventure, and there's something very compelling about it, I can wait."

"False alarm," Professor McGonagall sighed.

A walkie talkie sounded. "Snaky, there's a suicidal house elf in the kitchens, banging his head against the frying pans. Also, there are some first years out of bounds, just like Potter in his first year, except we'll catch these ones. Roger that? Report back to HQ ASAP."

"WHAT THE HECK??" everyone yelled.

Snape sighed, then scowled. "Don't ask. EVERYONE, BACK TO YOUR COMMON ROOMS! 500 points each from your respective houses for hearing that message!"

A/N: -plot disappears with a -pop!--Reeeeeeeeevieeewwww while I gather up my little plot bunnies and have a meeting with them to see what's coming next.