A/n: So yeah, okay. New chappy. THANK YA all that review! I love
reviews and live for them! Then... I have a small problem... I've
written to sixth chapter and have no idea what to do next... so if Ya
could just give me some ideas... Well... n-joy!
Cloudy sky - part five
Friday, 26 March
I'm not a virgin anymore. It was great fun with Ariel, but then he left in the morning and left a note that he cannot see me ever again. Well, that's my luck... but hey, smile! Squall told me I'm beautiful, didn't he? And I have a brother to kill, a bastard (I mean Seifer) to push into Squall's arms, a Zack and a Vincent to help and a job to take care of. I like it, really, and it's hard to believe I didn't want it a few days ago. Now I feel as if nothing better could ever happen to me. Today some important things happened. First, Zell felt bad. I was asked to take him to a doctor – and it turned out to be really serious. He was said not to work for a while – so now he's lying in his bed, sleeping peacefully. He's sweet when he's asleep. Irvine's really worried. Squall told me that Zell and Irvine were dating each other since nobody remembers when. And I had no problems believing that.
Then, Sephiroth came again. Nobody expected him there, and Vincent was out shopping at the moment, and Zack was somewhere – I don't even know where. So I went to serve my dear brother. He wasn't happy to see me – he even tried to ignore me. But I didn't let him.
'You tried to get me sacked,' I said angrily. He smirked – oh gash, what happened? The bastard let out a sign that he heard me!!!
'Yes, indeed,' he replied with his oh-so-emotionless voice.
'I don't want you to stick your nose into my life. I'll be a waiter or even a whore as long as I want to,' I stated calmly. 'You can be a bastard of any kind, but get away from me. You have Vincent and Zack to hurt. Oh, well, I wish you let them live their lifes without that servant attitude to you...'
'Stop talking,' Seph interrupted me. 'It's none of your business what I do with my toys.'
'But that toys of yours happen to be my friends!' I exclaimed. Half of the customers looked at us, but I just didn't care. I was now angry – oh, well, I never had Sephiroth's ability to hide my emotions. 'I care about them and I know they care about YOU!'
'But I don't care about them, Cloud. Perhaps you should consider that. You can't make me care about them. For me, they're worthless.'
'That's why I don't want to be like you! That's why I left home! Not to speak, feel, act like you do! Not to become a cold monster, so heartless as you are!' I shouted, and... slapped his face. I didn't mean to do so, it just came as an accident... but he looked shocked. I don't know what shocked him more, my words or this unexpected slap.
'So you think I'm heartless...' he finally said, calmly yet coldly. 'You are absolutely wrong. I have a heart. But not for them.'
He turned back and walked away, and I didn't quite understand his last words. But well – go to hell, I don't even want to understand. I want him out of my life. And not to hurt Vincent and Zack anymore.
Ooops. Perhaps I should sometimes controle my nerves, just for a little bit... Seifer came around evening and I had a small fight with him. He said I stole his boyfriend and used him. I replied I didn't have to, because it was Ariel who wanted me. But then he slapped me across the face and I had a small revenge; it ended for me in the boss' office, again... oh gosh, now I'm sure I'll lose my job...
Some time later Hey! I'm still working in Lunatic Pandora! It's amazing, though... I was sure Laguna-san would sack me, he even said he should, but changed his mind suddenly. And... he changed my job. I'm not a waiter anymore. Now I'm working with Zell and Irvine... yes, you get it right. I'm a slut now. I've got a new uniform and a small room where I can have my clients... Oh, I'm not at all happy. But hey, at least I have better money! And Zack said he'd come to visit me... I'll miss working with him. It's so unfair... But I have to be happy I'm able to stay at Lunatic Pandora. Huh... Seph will be angry... in fact, I couldn't fall lower... then, perhaps I can show him he's out of my life forever. I won't care about his opinions anymore... not that I ever cared.
A few minutes later. And back as a waiter. A call from Seph came... wonder how did he know that fast, I'm sure Vincent or Zack told him... but he was VERY enraged about me being a whore and said that if Mr Loire didn't make me come back to being a waiter, he'll find an excuse to close Lunatic Pandora... well, and that's the end of my slut career. In fact, I'm happy. And it's the first time I'm grateful to the bastard. I mean, my brother. I prefer being a waiter to fulfilling men's needs. Zack came to my room happily, telling me I'm back, and then Mr Loire followed. I believed at once, and I suspected Seph to have something to do with this before they told me. Well, he's bastard anyway. But pehaps not as heartless as I thought.
'Hey, chocobo, come on! Change your clothes and come to the kitchen! You'll have to thank Vincent on your knees for what he's done for you!' Zack exclaimed and I asked:
'He told Seph?'
'Yeah, and Sephiroth-sama promised he'd help you. Isn't that great? It's the first time Sephiroth-sama listened to us asking for help!'
"Because it was a help for me..." I thought suddenly, but said nothing. I didn't want to think like that, but somehow knew it was truth. Those words of earlier today... "I have a heart. But not for them..."Did he mean he had heart for me?... But I didn't need it! I had friends and a nice boss and a lover... oh, sorry, the lover's gone and never able to see me again, well... but anyway, I need him not! His heart isn't some kind of thing I'd appreciate! And actually he's my BROTHER! Statemets like this are only for LOVERS, not BROTHERS!!!
'Oh I hate you Seph you silver-haired bastard!' I shouted suddenly and Zack looked at me quite surprised. I'm not going crazy, I'm not going crazy, I'm not going crazy, SHIT I said
I'M NOT GOING CRAZY!!!
'Chocobo, you all right?' Zack asked and I smiled.
'Yeah, quite all right. Let's go, Vincent's not gonna wait!'
The rest of the evening went by and I was so tired from those emotions I had to go to sleep. But instead, I played strip poker with the guys tonight and won Zack's uniform, Vincent's trousers (hmm, nice butt anyway... Jesus, since when I think like that?!), Cid's shirt and Squall's... everything, down to his underwear. I lost only my shirt to Zell, and I had nothing of Zell's. But I got Irvine's pants, so I was quite happy. In fact, I got the biggest part of the clothes, so I was announced the winner without a shirt. Then we had fun in re-buying our clothes from each other. Zell asked me to dance on the table and so I did, singing "I'll" of Dir en Grey while dancing. Then Squall had to sing a lullaby in the highest tone his voice could reach; he also had to tell us his latest dream (it was an erotic one with Seifer starring in it) or... well, touch himself. I know, we were going a bit too close to a regular orgy, with those more and more perverted orders, but... hey, we were drunk! What do you think drunk people do if not sex? Hm? Ah... never mind. To sum up, poor Squall had to act like a whore, Zack had some hot and really kinky sex with Vincent (oh Jesus... they boh are really... nice... and hot...), Zell raped somebody (I don't remember who, but it wasn't Irvine nor me, because we were busy making out for Irvine's pants... so perhaps it was Cid?) and so the night went on. Finally, when we all regained our clothes and stopped having fun, we started telling each other our secrets... and not the normal ones, but the ones hidden very deeply normally, the ones we didn't really want to reveal. I didn't get away with saying I had no secrets. Zack asked me why I left home... and I told them. I told them the secret I never wanted to be known.
I told them why I hated Sephirth so much... ... because he tried to rape me when I was sixteen. He tried to take me roughly, but managed to get out. It was really accidentally – I came to his room to get some of those super-clever books he had and he was drunk. I didn't quite seen him drunk ever before... it was somehow scary. His eyes glowing so... unnaturally... and then he threw me on his bed and pined me beneath his body. He kissed me roughly on the lips, but I bit his tongue hard. He laughed and then I was really frightened. He put his hand under my t-shirt and onto my chest. I punched him and tried to kick, but it didn't help. He played with my nipples and I was starting to surrender... but then, a doorbell rang. It distracted him for a while, and I took it as my only chance to run away. I kicked him hard on the stomach and got up to my feet. I ran very fast to my room and closed the door behind me. I packed the things I needed the most, took my money and left, too afraid to come out of my room. I used the window...
When I told them, Zack hugged me. He had his warm smile on his lips and I felt good. But then I looked at Vincent's expression. He looked shocked. Oh, such a shock that somebody might not want Sephiroth?... I'm sure if that was for him or Zack, they'd stay and let Seph do anything he wanted. Oh well... but although he once was my idol, I didn't have that kind of feelings towards him... I sometimes did regret I left home without a second thought. Seph wasn't such a bad brother. He was in fact a really kind guy... but he scared me to death. I was a trusty kid then... and he was an adult. I should have stayed in my room then and waited for him to regain his senses. He would apologize for what he'd tried to do and I'd be happily his brother till now on... or would I?
'Don't worry, chocobo... It's over... now he's got me and Vincent to hurt... won't hurt you ever again,' Zack whispered and I let my head lie on his shoulder. I was falling asleep...
'Hey, chocobo, don't sleep. We all want you to listen...' Squall said and giggled. But Zack hushed him, saying I needed some sleep... and I remember nothing more. I fell asleep.
TBC
Cloudy sky - part five
Friday, 26 March
I'm not a virgin anymore. It was great fun with Ariel, but then he left in the morning and left a note that he cannot see me ever again. Well, that's my luck... but hey, smile! Squall told me I'm beautiful, didn't he? And I have a brother to kill, a bastard (I mean Seifer) to push into Squall's arms, a Zack and a Vincent to help and a job to take care of. I like it, really, and it's hard to believe I didn't want it a few days ago. Now I feel as if nothing better could ever happen to me. Today some important things happened. First, Zell felt bad. I was asked to take him to a doctor – and it turned out to be really serious. He was said not to work for a while – so now he's lying in his bed, sleeping peacefully. He's sweet when he's asleep. Irvine's really worried. Squall told me that Zell and Irvine were dating each other since nobody remembers when. And I had no problems believing that.
Then, Sephiroth came again. Nobody expected him there, and Vincent was out shopping at the moment, and Zack was somewhere – I don't even know where. So I went to serve my dear brother. He wasn't happy to see me – he even tried to ignore me. But I didn't let him.
'You tried to get me sacked,' I said angrily. He smirked – oh gash, what happened? The bastard let out a sign that he heard me!!!
'Yes, indeed,' he replied with his oh-so-emotionless voice.
'I don't want you to stick your nose into my life. I'll be a waiter or even a whore as long as I want to,' I stated calmly. 'You can be a bastard of any kind, but get away from me. You have Vincent and Zack to hurt. Oh, well, I wish you let them live their lifes without that servant attitude to you...'
'Stop talking,' Seph interrupted me. 'It's none of your business what I do with my toys.'
'But that toys of yours happen to be my friends!' I exclaimed. Half of the customers looked at us, but I just didn't care. I was now angry – oh, well, I never had Sephiroth's ability to hide my emotions. 'I care about them and I know they care about YOU!'
'But I don't care about them, Cloud. Perhaps you should consider that. You can't make me care about them. For me, they're worthless.'
'That's why I don't want to be like you! That's why I left home! Not to speak, feel, act like you do! Not to become a cold monster, so heartless as you are!' I shouted, and... slapped his face. I didn't mean to do so, it just came as an accident... but he looked shocked. I don't know what shocked him more, my words or this unexpected slap.
'So you think I'm heartless...' he finally said, calmly yet coldly. 'You are absolutely wrong. I have a heart. But not for them.'
He turned back and walked away, and I didn't quite understand his last words. But well – go to hell, I don't even want to understand. I want him out of my life. And not to hurt Vincent and Zack anymore.
Ooops. Perhaps I should sometimes controle my nerves, just for a little bit... Seifer came around evening and I had a small fight with him. He said I stole his boyfriend and used him. I replied I didn't have to, because it was Ariel who wanted me. But then he slapped me across the face and I had a small revenge; it ended for me in the boss' office, again... oh gosh, now I'm sure I'll lose my job...
Some time later Hey! I'm still working in Lunatic Pandora! It's amazing, though... I was sure Laguna-san would sack me, he even said he should, but changed his mind suddenly. And... he changed my job. I'm not a waiter anymore. Now I'm working with Zell and Irvine... yes, you get it right. I'm a slut now. I've got a new uniform and a small room where I can have my clients... Oh, I'm not at all happy. But hey, at least I have better money! And Zack said he'd come to visit me... I'll miss working with him. It's so unfair... But I have to be happy I'm able to stay at Lunatic Pandora. Huh... Seph will be angry... in fact, I couldn't fall lower... then, perhaps I can show him he's out of my life forever. I won't care about his opinions anymore... not that I ever cared.
A few minutes later. And back as a waiter. A call from Seph came... wonder how did he know that fast, I'm sure Vincent or Zack told him... but he was VERY enraged about me being a whore and said that if Mr Loire didn't make me come back to being a waiter, he'll find an excuse to close Lunatic Pandora... well, and that's the end of my slut career. In fact, I'm happy. And it's the first time I'm grateful to the bastard. I mean, my brother. I prefer being a waiter to fulfilling men's needs. Zack came to my room happily, telling me I'm back, and then Mr Loire followed. I believed at once, and I suspected Seph to have something to do with this before they told me. Well, he's bastard anyway. But pehaps not as heartless as I thought.
'Hey, chocobo, come on! Change your clothes and come to the kitchen! You'll have to thank Vincent on your knees for what he's done for you!' Zack exclaimed and I asked:
'He told Seph?'
'Yeah, and Sephiroth-sama promised he'd help you. Isn't that great? It's the first time Sephiroth-sama listened to us asking for help!'
"Because it was a help for me..." I thought suddenly, but said nothing. I didn't want to think like that, but somehow knew it was truth. Those words of earlier today... "I have a heart. But not for them..."Did he mean he had heart for me?... But I didn't need it! I had friends and a nice boss and a lover... oh, sorry, the lover's gone and never able to see me again, well... but anyway, I need him not! His heart isn't some kind of thing I'd appreciate! And actually he's my BROTHER! Statemets like this are only for LOVERS, not BROTHERS!!!
'Oh I hate you Seph you silver-haired bastard!' I shouted suddenly and Zack looked at me quite surprised. I'm not going crazy, I'm not going crazy, I'm not going crazy, SHIT I said
I'M NOT GOING CRAZY!!!
'Chocobo, you all right?' Zack asked and I smiled.
'Yeah, quite all right. Let's go, Vincent's not gonna wait!'
The rest of the evening went by and I was so tired from those emotions I had to go to sleep. But instead, I played strip poker with the guys tonight and won Zack's uniform, Vincent's trousers (hmm, nice butt anyway... Jesus, since when I think like that?!), Cid's shirt and Squall's... everything, down to his underwear. I lost only my shirt to Zell, and I had nothing of Zell's. But I got Irvine's pants, so I was quite happy. In fact, I got the biggest part of the clothes, so I was announced the winner without a shirt. Then we had fun in re-buying our clothes from each other. Zell asked me to dance on the table and so I did, singing "I'll" of Dir en Grey while dancing. Then Squall had to sing a lullaby in the highest tone his voice could reach; he also had to tell us his latest dream (it was an erotic one with Seifer starring in it) or... well, touch himself. I know, we were going a bit too close to a regular orgy, with those more and more perverted orders, but... hey, we were drunk! What do you think drunk people do if not sex? Hm? Ah... never mind. To sum up, poor Squall had to act like a whore, Zack had some hot and really kinky sex with Vincent (oh Jesus... they boh are really... nice... and hot...), Zell raped somebody (I don't remember who, but it wasn't Irvine nor me, because we were busy making out for Irvine's pants... so perhaps it was Cid?) and so the night went on. Finally, when we all regained our clothes and stopped having fun, we started telling each other our secrets... and not the normal ones, but the ones hidden very deeply normally, the ones we didn't really want to reveal. I didn't get away with saying I had no secrets. Zack asked me why I left home... and I told them. I told them the secret I never wanted to be known.
I told them why I hated Sephirth so much... ... because he tried to rape me when I was sixteen. He tried to take me roughly, but managed to get out. It was really accidentally – I came to his room to get some of those super-clever books he had and he was drunk. I didn't quite seen him drunk ever before... it was somehow scary. His eyes glowing so... unnaturally... and then he threw me on his bed and pined me beneath his body. He kissed me roughly on the lips, but I bit his tongue hard. He laughed and then I was really frightened. He put his hand under my t-shirt and onto my chest. I punched him and tried to kick, but it didn't help. He played with my nipples and I was starting to surrender... but then, a doorbell rang. It distracted him for a while, and I took it as my only chance to run away. I kicked him hard on the stomach and got up to my feet. I ran very fast to my room and closed the door behind me. I packed the things I needed the most, took my money and left, too afraid to come out of my room. I used the window...
When I told them, Zack hugged me. He had his warm smile on his lips and I felt good. But then I looked at Vincent's expression. He looked shocked. Oh, such a shock that somebody might not want Sephiroth?... I'm sure if that was for him or Zack, they'd stay and let Seph do anything he wanted. Oh well... but although he once was my idol, I didn't have that kind of feelings towards him... I sometimes did regret I left home without a second thought. Seph wasn't such a bad brother. He was in fact a really kind guy... but he scared me to death. I was a trusty kid then... and he was an adult. I should have stayed in my room then and waited for him to regain his senses. He would apologize for what he'd tried to do and I'd be happily his brother till now on... or would I?
'Don't worry, chocobo... It's over... now he's got me and Vincent to hurt... won't hurt you ever again,' Zack whispered and I let my head lie on his shoulder. I was falling asleep...
'Hey, chocobo, don't sleep. We all want you to listen...' Squall said and giggled. But Zack hushed him, saying I needed some sleep... and I remember nothing more. I fell asleep.
TBC