Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything that has ever been mentioned in the Harry Potter books does not belong to me. I would like to own them, and make billions of dollars every year, but the only thing in this story that is mine is my plot, if you can call it one. I am simply one of those very sad people who obsess over something that isn't real. So please, don't sue me, all I have that is of any value is a cello and a computer. Thank you for your time.

Chapter Four

That night, Lily sat on her bed, writing furiously in her diary.

Why did he have to come back? I'm not ready for this, I need time. I can't think about this right now. Why couldn't he have stayed buried in the past forever, like a mistake that you bury and leave beside the road. I like David, I don't love him, but I'm sure we could have worked things out. But now, now it would seem too much like running away from my problems, and who wants a marriage like that?

The problem, damn it, is that I still love James, I'm trying to deny it, but it's true. How do you tell someone that you love them, and that you can't love them at the same time? I already have enough trouble as it is, and then this! I want to go back to the beginning, and change everything that needs changing. As Inigo says in The Princess Bride, "You said to go back to the beginning," So here I am, all ready to go examine my life.

I met James Potter on the train to Hogwarts. He turned my hair green, and I pushed him into the lake. We traded pranks for several years, until fourth year started. Then he decided that I would be a good one week girlfriend, and then spent the next three years trying to get me to go out with him. We had several occasions when he was in the middle of torturing someone and, when I told him to stop, he would ask me out.

One of the more famous occasions was right after our Defense Against the Darks Arts OWL, when he had started to torture Snape. I told him to stop, and he said that he would if I would go out with him. I kind of exploded then, and told him that I would rather go out with the giant squid than with him.

I actually admire his doggedness, to keep chasing after something that doesn't want to be caught for three years. I finally went out with him in seventh year, and everything just seemed so right, but it was also too fast and to frightening.

Loving someone more than life itself is a powerful feeling, both awesome and terrible. I would have died for him, if need be, and I am sure that he felt the same way. I couldn't deal with those feeling, and I decided that it would be best if we forgot about each other.

Of course, that obviously didn't work, and now he's back in my life again. What am I going to do? Do I let my heart take priority over my head, knowing that it could lead to disaster? Or do I follow my common sense, which would mean that I would shut out love forever?

I'm scared, and I don't know were to go or what to do. What should I do? Where does the future lie? Petunia thinks that her way is the only way, finding a nice, rich man and settling down to raise children. But I don't want to do that.

I want to have adventures, to feel excited, to live. I know David, and he would want me to sit at home all day making supper and taking care of any children that we would have. I can't live like that though. James would let me be an auror, let me live my dream, but that would put both of us in danger. Dear God, what am I supposed to do?

Lily lay down her quill, closed her diary and went to sleep. She would deal with the future tomorrow, when she had had some rest.

Sirius and James sat talking in two armchairs by the fireplace.

"Sirius, what makes girls so damn complicated? Why can't they fit into a little box, with no suprises and nothing new about them? Someone who doesn't change, who you can understand."

"James, that's what makes life interesting. If you're talking about Lily, however, think of a plan yourself. I cannot help you there."

James sat thinking for several hours, before drifting off to sleep, a plan already forming in his mind.

Lily woke up early the next morning; she was going to Mrs. Figg's house and wanted to avoid any awkward question about the why she had been so sullen and quiet the night before. And the fact that Petunia had spotted the three boys, and really wanted to meet them made things even more awkward.

She got there and rang the doorbell, and a minute later she was being bombarded by cats, several thousands of them. Bella pulled them off of her, and they sat down on the couch to talk, while Bella's aunt went into the kitchen to cook a bit of food, most likely cabbage, since that was what her house always smelled like.

"Lily, what's going on, you look terrible?" Bella said concernedly.

"Bella, they're here."

"Who? The FBI, the police, You-Know-Who, who is it?"

"The marauders. James has come back to haunt me."

"Oh shit. What are you going to do?"

"For god's sake, Bella, if I knew, would I be sitting here discussing it right now? And there's not anything I really can do."

"Whatever do you mean?" Bella asked, intentionally digging.

"Well, I was babysitting little David Evans, and he got away, and ran into the house across the street from mine. Sirius, Remus and James are renting it. David ran into James, and so I saw him. James acted like normal, made a few jokes, but he didn't stop staring at my ring, and he looked so hurt. Oh god, Bella, I'm so confused."

"I don't blame you for being confused. I am also very confused. But the first thing you need to do is break up with David. I would write a letter now, so I can make you if you start wimp out, like I know you would."

Lily got out a quill and a piece of parchment, and started on her letter.

Dear David,

I do not believe that we should marry each other. I do not love you, but another. I am sorry, but this is not a feeling that I can hide. I cannot in good conscience marry you and spend my life with you wishing you were another. I'm so sorry.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

"Is this good, Bella?"

"I'm sure it's fine. Let's give it to Starswing so she can get it to him as soon as possible. I don't believe that this is something that should be delayed. So, why did your beloved sister invite the marauders over for dinner?"

"I think she fell in love with Sirius."

"What, that's not fair! Wait a second, what's this?"

A tawny owl had entered through the open window and dropped a letter onto Bella's lap. When Lily went into the kitchen to talk to Mrs. Figg about something or other, Bella seized her chance and opened it.

Dear Arabella,

Remus and I were wondering whether you had noticed our two friends who are having a bit of difficulty in the relationships department. If you agree with us, then please send us a reply, and meet us at the Leaky Cauldron two days from now at 8:23 PM.

Best Regards,

Sirius and Remus

Bella scribbled a quick reply and sent the owl packing right as Lily came back into the room.

"Bella, what was that?"

"A magazine subscription that I finally decided to fill out."

"You're lying." She looked over at her friend pointedly, but Bella refused to say anything, "And you obviously not going to tell me anything. It really doesn't matter. I've almost decided what I'm going to do."

"And?"

"I'm just going to have to wait and see. Some things work out, others don't. Besides that, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I've got to get back to the house. Bye."

James sat on his bed, staring at a scrapbook of pictures taken during his and Lily's brief relationship. He felt a tear slide down his cheek. He swore to himself that he would get her back, he had to.

Sirius and Remus sat discussing their somewhat hopeless friends.

"Remus, I say we should lock them in a broom closet."

"Sirius, you did that back in second year. You were in the hospital wing for a week after that one. Besides, where are you going to find a broom closet on privet drive?"

"Oh, yeah, true. We could send them both letters of apology and have them meet up together somewhere."

"Third year."

"We could make them go out to dinner together, or something like that."

"That actually might work. We couldn't send them alone, because they would probably kill each other, but, it you went with Bella…"

"WHAT?"

"Hush, I know how much you like her. Where was I? Oh yeah, we send you and Bella with them, and you two try to patch things up as best as you can."

"How do you know if she likes me?"

"She'll probably go with you if you tell her it's for getting Lily and James together. She does want her friend to be happy. She actually might like you, I wouldn't know."

"Fine, you win, I'll ask Bella out on a date so we can double date with James and Lily. If you have gotten my hopes up and she doesn't like me, can I kill you?"

"Fine, if she doesn't like you then you can kill me. Now, on to the other plans for the two lovebirds…"

David Smith sat fuming. Lily had refused his engagement. She had gotten his hopes up, and then had dashed them to bits. He made a split-second decision, and apparated to a lonely tree on the top of a mountain. He spoke plainly.

"Lord Voldemort, I accept your offer to become one of your followers. It was foolish to have thought to decide any other way. "

A voice spoke out, a voice like a hissing of a snake. "Very well. You have chosen wisely. My followers are well rewarded. What do you want after we have triumphed?"

"Lily Evans."

Oooh, plot device. I feel evil. But that's okay.

I know this chapter was weird. I'm sorry. It's one of those transition chapters, and is a bit of everything.

Kindly review. You see, I'm having a few doubts about this story, and I want to know what you think. I haven't gotten as much response on this one as I have the others, and if I get much more discouraged then I might discontinue it. So please review. If makes me feel worthwhile, makes me believe that my writings actually okay, and not complete crap. Complements, constructive criticism, flames, I take them all. But just a warning, if you flame I will flame back. Consider yourself warned.

Plus, I need inspiration, and reviews give me that.

To answer my reviewers from my last chapter,

sweetsoutherngal- Or you could just be like me, who refuses to post the next chapter until all reviews are in.

makoto-47- that reminds me of the little animated video thing, "Good to be in D.C." Thanks.

EmeraldEyedEvans- I love you too. And I did review. What happened to train?

PinkyTheSnowman- Well, there is a bit of that. Along with many other things,

InLuvWitRupert- You seem a bit confused. This is not the sequel to "Oh Notes and Bets," first off. Anna isn't in this story.

Now go out into the world. Have fun. Read other stories. But review first, for I will give all who do computer-animated duct tape.

Later,

Sally