Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything that has ever been mentioned in the Harry Potter books does not belong to me. I would like to own them, and make billions of dollars every year, but the only thing in this story that is mine is my plot, if you can call it one. I am simply one of those very sad people who obsess over something that isn't real. So please, don't sue me, all I have that is of any value is a cello and a computer. Thank you for your time.

Chapter Five

"YOU DID WHAT?!!"

Arabella sighed inwardly. She had just told Lily that she and Sirius were going on a date, and since they were both a bit nervous, they wanted Lily and someone that Sirius knew to come along, kind of like chaperones. Needless to say, Lily was not taking it very well.

"Come on, Lily, it's only one night. And you know that I've been wanting to go out with Sirius since fourth year. Please?"

"Fine, as long as it is not James Potter." Lily conceded, staring at her friend threateningly.

"Don't worry, it's not." Arabella assured her friend, crossing her fingers behind her back.

"No way. No frickin' way"

Sirius was having the same problems with James that Arabella was having across the street with Lily.

"Why not, Jamsie-Wamsie?

"Because I don't want to watch you make out furiously with Arabella Figg when I have to watch you and think about how much I'd like to be doing that with Lily. So, please, ask Remus to go instead."

"Remus has already got a date. He's taking a girl named Allison something-or-other to the movies, or something like that. So, will you please go with me? You know that I've wanted to go out with Arabella since third year."

"Fine, fine, I'll go with you. But don't expect me to enjoy myself."

The two girls were almost ready to go when the doorbell rang. Pulling on her shoes, Lily yelled to Bella that she'd get it, and she hustled downstairs.

"Wait a second, I'm coming. Would you please stop..." Then Lily stopped speaking. Because there, standing in her doorway, was James Potter.

"Please stop what, Lily-flower? After all, I can't stop until you tell me what it is you want me to stop."

"Am I allowed to tell you to stop invading my life?"

"Well, technically, I'm not invading your life. I am only here to pick up your delightful friend Bella and whoever it is that she talked into going on a blind date. Unless, of course…'

"Potter, would you please excuse me for a minute." With that she shut the door, and yelled up the stairs. "Arabella Katherine Figg, I am going to kill you!"

Besides the obvious tension, dinner went off without a problem. They were in a private parlor, so that maybe they could go through with this meal without others hearing every word of their conversation. Lily spoke to Sirius and Arabella, but not James. James tried to speak to Lily, but gave up after a few minutes and also just spoke to Sirius and Arabella.

Sirius, deciding that enough was enough, elbowed Arabella slightly and told Lily and James, "We need to go get something from the car. Can we trust you not to kill each other while we're gone?"

After both replied yes, the two plotters left. James, plucking up his courage, asked Lily, "Do you think that they invented that excuse to go make out, or to get us alone."

"Probably both. I don't know why they are so obsessed with getting us back together, though. I mean, we did break up a year ago, after all."

"Once again, why did you break up with me?"

"I told you a when we broke up. I guess we both just lost interest."

"The truth, Lily."

"The truth?" She looked almost frightened. "I-I don't know."

"Lily, I think that you not knowing why you broke up with me is a likely as Hagrid going a year without buying some sort of dangerous creature. Please, Lily, tell me."

"Fine, you really want to know? I was scared. Of you, of Voldemort, of everything. It broke my heart, having to hurt you like that, but it had to be done. Voldemort is after both of us, me for being an auror and a muggleborn, and you for being the heir of Gryffindor.

"We're already in enough danger by ourselves, and together we would be to threatening to be allowed to live any longer. And I don't want you to die because of me. I love you, James."

"You love me?"

"Yes, you idiot, I love you. Why do you think that I didn't accept David's proposal straight off? He's nice, rich, cute. He would be a husband that any girl would be proud of. He would have offered stability and security. Except that he wasn't you. I couldn't live like that, being so close to you, yet so far at the same time."

"We could make it work, Lily."

"James, for god's sake, listen to me. Maybe if we lived in another time, another place, maybe we could have made it work out. Yes, I love you, but that chapter in my life is over. I sometimes wish that I had done certain things differently, but we can't go back in time and change things. I'm sorry, James, but let's face it, we can never be together like we were again."

"Damn it, Lily, I know that I'm never going to get over you. And as much as you want to, you're never going to get over me. I'll see to it." And with those words he stood up, walked over to her side of the table, pulled her up from her chair, and kissed her.

A rainbow of colors burst into flame behind Lily's eyes as she kissed him back. It was as if, as long as they were kissing each other, as long as they were together, everything would be alright. Suddenly Lily remembered a house were the entire family had been killed by Lord Voldemort, and the dark mark hovering over there heads.

She pulled away from James and started yelling at him, "James, why can't you just leave me alone?! Everything was just fine before you came along. You keep messing with my head, and whenever you're around me I can't tell up from down. So why can't you just go away and forget that you ever knew me, and let me forget you too. I'm sorry that it had to end like this, but please, for god's sake, just leave me alone!"

She disapparated, and James stood staring, once again, at the last place he had seen the woman he loved. Why is it, he thought, that every time I see her, I feel worse than if I hadn't seen her at all?

A small rat scurried from the corner that he had been watching the two lovers from, thinking about how pleased his master was going to be with him for this new information.

"James? James? Are you okay?" Remus asked concernedly. A week had passed since that fateful encounter in the restaurant, and James was still refusing to speak to either of his best friends. Remus and Sirius had tried to think of something, anything, that would make him feel better, but, other than Lily Evans confessing her undying love to him, they came up with nada.

They still had no idea what had happened between the two of them that night. All they knew was that Lily had left for some reason, and then James had left also. That was all they had been able to get out of him before he shut himself in a mental box, refusing to speak to anyone.

I was scared…It broke my heart… too threatening… I love you. Lily's words kept bouncing around James's head. He had been this close, this close, to having the perfect life, to having Lily with him forever, and then Voldemort had to come and ruin everything, just like he had back in sixth year when he had murdered James's parents.

It's not fair! He thought wildly to himself. If we had been living any where else, if we had been anyone else, then we would have had a chance. But now, now it's over. Our time is up. Unless… James grabbed a cloak and strode out the door, paying no attention to Remus's startled glance. He rang the bell of Number 4, privet drive, and waited.

Lily came to the door, and opened it, then, when she saw who it was, tried to shut it. James grabbed the door and held it open, staring at her.

"What are you doing?" She hissed at him. "Didn't I make it clear at the restaurant that I never wanted to see you again?"

"I know, Lily. You said your bit, but you never gave me a chance to say mine. So, are you going to make me say it out here in front of the entire street, or am I going to be allowed to come in and talk to you privately?"

She grudgingly stepped aside and allowed him to enter the house. "Follow me." She said shortly.

"What do you want to say?" asked Lily, impatience in her voice. He might be forcing her to listen to him, but that didn't mean she had to be nice about it. "If you have anything important to say, then say it. I have to meet someone in an hour, and I'm already probably going to be late. So if you could please hurry it up." She finished bitterly.

"Lily, do you even understand what's going on?" James asked, calmly, yet if Lily had looked beyond that calm façade, she would have noticed the quiver of fear in his voice. But right now she was too angry to care.

"Yeah I know what's going on. You're refusing to face reality. It's finished, James. It was nice while it lasted, but it's over now. It's time to move on." With that she made a move as though to open the door to her bedroom, where she could escape, but James was too quick for her.

In a swift motion he grabbed her by the shoulders and pinned her to the wall. She struggled against him, but all those years of playing quidditch had made him strong, and she knew it was useless.

"Are you ready to listen yet?" James asked her. She nodded, stiffly, before he continued. "Lily Evans, you said that you were afraid of either of us being hurt or killed, but, in times like this, who isn't? But isn't better to do everything that needs to be done before that time comes.

"But Lily, you are not the only one who has to go through with seeing death and despair every day. It is a way of the world. Good does not always triumph over evil, but if people try hard enough, eventually it will.

"You may now wish that you never had to see me again, you may wish that you had never met me, but please, never forget me. I have to leave tomorrow, and I'm not sure if I'm ever going to come back. Please, if I do die, remember me, and please, think back on how it could have happened." He stopped talking and looked away, then, almost as an afterthought, kissed her.

This was not simply a sweet and innocent kiss, nor was it simply one full of fire and passion. It was filled with promises remembered, with passion rekindling, with things that were left unspoken, but that the two lovers had no intention of forgetting.

Finally, James pulled back, panting, and kissed her softly one last time before walking out of the door into the setting sun, Lily, for the first time in her life, staring after him, a hand raised to her lips.

TBC

Someone who I know who as read my story accused me of really liking angst, but my response to that is, I don't like angst, I just enjoy making James suffer.

Anyway, please, take the two or three seconds it will take to review and do so. It helps me write faster, and it gives me inspiration. Also, if you have any ideas about what you want to happen, tell me. I can always use them, if only as a future reference, or for a different story. Thanks!

I've been updating this fic a lot recently, and somewhat ignoring my others. I just have had a lot of inspiration, and know where this one is going. I promise that I'll update the others soon.

To those who did review (and who get computer animated duct tape!)-

Mika Rieu- Well, you see, Remus is secretly mine. But it's considered bad form to insert yourself into a fic, so we're keeping it very hush-hush.

ourlittlesecret7- Ack, no she didn't. That was from the old version, and I forgot that one little bit. Woops.

le manchot du destin- There is no such thing as reviewing too much. I swear. And the rat has shown up. I just don't like him very much.

Pixy-Misa-Misao-Amano- Thanks

Hikaru- Yeah, but that was my second reviewer bugging me about it, and I got a bit carried away. Sorry.

PinkyTheSnowman- I believe I said it in the first chapter, but "Bella" is the niece of JKR's Arabella Figg, who is a squib. Now, I was looking at your profile, and I was very sad. Am I not loved enough to get an award? Like, "Most disgustingly over-used clichés in one chapter?"

sweetsoutherngal- I know the feeling.

EmeraldEyedEvans- Very good.

Preview from next chapter-

Three years had passed since that fateful day. James Potter had never returned, and the majority of the people who knew anything at all about it said he was probably dead. The first year, Lily had bee continually waiting for a sign, for some proof that he was coming back. Then, finally, she decided she should move on. He wasn't coming back, and she would never see him again.

A few weeks after she had figured this out, she ran into Amos Diggory, and he asked her out to dinner. They had been dating ever since, and Lily was content with her life, even though thoughts of James still haunted her at night.

On this particular December day, Lily, who had just been having lunch with Amos, was hurrying back to the office to get there on time, and, since she wasn't paying attention to where she was going, she ran straight into a stranger.

She quickly stammered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I just had a date, and I only have 10 minutes to ge…" This was as far as she got before she looked up into the strangers face, and gasped.

"I thought you said you would never forget me, Lily."

There, just to be mean, I think I'm going to wait like a month before updating. Just to let you stew. Have fun!

No killing me, Emmy. You can just email me about it all. But the rest of you can stew

Sally