A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back! Didya miss me? I know I haven't updated in a while but school has me so0o busy! Does anyone know anything about A.P. Physics? Anything at all? LoL, anyway here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy! Thanks to all my great reviewers, you don't know how appreciated you are! And I added this song before the chapter, cause it fits and it's really good, you should all listen to it! Also, I don't really like the title, I'm probably gonna change it. Neway, here it is…
Chapter 10: Confusions and Delusions
^~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~^ Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all
Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why
It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart
Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I could feel I could feel you near me, even when you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why
It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away
I could feel I could feel you baby, why
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why
-Avril Lavigne, Why?
^~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~^
The next week went by fairly quick, and now it was Saturday, the first day of February. Hermione had had Harry, Ron, Ginny and her other friends serving as distractions for the whole time from a certain Slytherin. The only things that preoccupied her mind now were catching up with them and that startling kiss. She was so astonished by it, that Draco's last words to her since then, were pushed back into the recesses of her mind, for now.
As she went down to breakfast that morning she noticed many of the students were chatting excitedly and sat down quickly to listen to Dumbledore who was now trying to silence the talkative bunch.
Dumbledore stood in front of the students in the Great Hall with an important air, but an anxious look on his face. He had yet another announcement for them. Most of the students were convinced this time, that it was Snape, who in a jealous fit of rage, upon learning of McGonagall's sudden interest in Professor Binns, had put them both under the Petrificas Totalus spell. He had then later apologized, and was now fairly intent on proposing, to which teacher, no one was exactly sure. They figured Dumbledore was going to tell them the wedding date.
"What is it with everyone and their erratic interest in our teacher's love lives?" Hermione asked Ron.
"Because it's better than the boring subjects they teach 'Mione."
Dumbledore cleared his throat and began. "As you all know, in the past few years house rivalry has grown to an extreme level. The teachers and I have decided upon a solution that should be favorable to everyone. It will be a fantastic celebration, indeed. It is a quite brilliant idea, if I do say so myself."
"Can you ever make an announcement without babbling on for hours?" Professor Snape rudely exclaimed, apparently not learning his lesson.
"Very well. Yes, I am pleased to announce that there will be a Valentine's Day Ball, since the Christmas one was such a success."
Hermione snorted at this comment. She didn't seem to agree.
Despite the occurrences of the last ball, all the students looked very excited about the news.
"However, you will not be choosing who you go with." The students' faces fell slightly and looked at their Headmaster in wonderment.
"Everyone's name will be written on charmed pieces of parchment and they will automatically match up with a person from another house who you are most compatible with and will be kept a secret. Each pair will then be assigned a flower to have and a certain color to wear, and you will meet up with your partner that corresponds with your colors and flower at the ball. We all greatly hope this will help everyone get along better. And, according to old cupid's myth, when two people that are meant to be together are with each other on Valentine's Day, something very special will happen. We've never seen it happen here at Hogwarts, but you never know…" Dumbledore finished his speech with a mysterious air and a familiar twinkling in his eye.
The Great Hall was silent for a moment and the students looked surprised, to say the least, but quickly began to chatter excitedly as they always did when an event came up.
Dumbledore continued, "And I have a message concerning the crazy rumors you all seem to divulge in so frequently…and I think you'll all be pleased to know that the celebration should be in a few months and I'm sure you'll all be invited. Thank you." Snape and McGonagall were shooting daggers at each other, then at the beloved Headmaster as he sat down to finish his breakfast, smiling at them in return.
Later that day, Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy were sitting in the Slytherin common room, only two of the few there, as it was lunch time. Since not many people were there to see, Blaise was reading her favorite novel and Draco was plainly staring at the blazing flames in the fireplace. She had noticed he had been spacing out for the past few days, but being aware of the infamous mix of Malfoy temper and pride, she didn't want to hit a wrong nerve and have him lash out at her.
"Draco. Dra-co! Malfoy! Hey Sir Studley Slytherin!"
"Huh?" Draco had finally snapped out of it and turned his attention to Blaise at this last comment.
"God Draco, it's about time. Glad you decided to join us back here on earth."
"Oh, well I was just…admiring the beautiful…architecture of the fireplace," he replied in an overly confident voice.
"Uh-huh, sure. What's been with you lately? The last time you acted like this was after the Christmas Ball…oooh," she said realization hitting her. "So what happened between you and your darling Granger the Great?"
"None of your damn business!," he snapped angrily. He then realized he had fallen into her trap and tried to fix his slip-up. "I mean, of course nothing happened! Have you gone daft?"
"So something did happen," she accused. "Keep denying Draco, but I'll find out sooner or later. And, I think it's you who's gone daft, not me."
"Fine, I'll admit something happened, but that's it, you don't need to know anything else. She still hates me."
The Slytherin girl raised her eyebrows at his last remark and he continued, "And, I hate her too, of course. I'm going for a walk, I don't need you harassing me anymore."
"Say hi to your girlfriend for me," she called out after him, receiving the slamming of the Slytherin's portrait as a reply.
Draco walked down the almost deserted hallways of Hogwarts, letting his mind wander, and letting his feet just take him anywhere. His subconscious seemed to know where it was leading him. He looked up to see where he now was, and the two large oak doors of the library came into view. 'Great, what am I doing here? I can't go in there, Granger practically lives there.'
So he passed by the Gryffindor's sanctuary, not paying attention to where he was going again, too busy thinking about the conversation he had with Blaise.
'Am I acting that obvious? This isn't proper Malfoy behavior. Especially over a Muggle-born.' That's right- Muggle-born. Draco had given up the hopelessness of not using the word mudblood anymore. It seemed too offensive now. He wondered if maybe he should tell Blaise what happened. Maybe she could make sense out of everything. But no, that was crazy. She would just laugh in his face and blab to all the other Slytherins that 'Malfoy was loosing his touch.' His pride was hurt enough as it was. He still had no clue what had caused him to kiss Hermione, he didn't think that he liked her. But, what completely baffled him was why he didn't regret it. As he noticed his pace slowing down again, he saw that he was at the mystery room. The only thing he wanted to do now was relax without any annoying interruptions and maybe he'd be able to clear his head.
Turning the knob he found it to be unlocked, and as he stepped into the room he couldn't help but feel like there was a presence with him. Then he went over to his usual green chair and saw that Hermione was already occupying it. He was surprised to find that she was here instead, but covered it up with his usual offensive tone.
"What are you doing here?" he wanted to know.
"What are you doing here?" she questioned right back.
"I asked you first."
"Why do you always have to start an argument?"
"Who was starting an argument? I sure wasn't."
Hermione ignored this last comment and now they were both awkwardly fidgeting, not sure what to do next. They both had unsettled problems on their minds needing to be discussed, but neither knew how to subtly ease into it, rather than blurt everything out.
Hermione finally continued, "Well, I came here so I could read in peace, the library was too crowded." However, the truth was that she had been replaying last weeks events in her head again and remembered what he had told her about looking more closely in that spell book. She came back to find out what he had been talking about, but oddly enough, she couldn't find the book now.
Draco just nodded and turned to look at the bookshelves for something that might be useful for their project that had been put on hold until now.
"Aren't you going to tell me why you're here?" she questioned, annoyed that he wouldn't talk to her.
"I don't have to tell you anything Granger."
Hermione rolled her eyes, then sighed and put her book down. "Malfoy?"
Draco just continued to browse the books, lightly running his fingers across the bindings.
She tried again. "Draco?"
He spun around to face her, a smirk plastered on his face. "Oh, so its back to Draco now, is it? You'd better be careful, you wouldn't want anyone to catch you saying that."
"Can't we just talk without fighting? There's obviously some unresolved issues you have that we need to work out."
He took a seat on the couch next to Hermione and replied angrily, "I have unresolved issues?"
"Yes, I think you do…"
"I don't need your diagnosis again, Dr. Granger. I'm capable of knowing how I feel, unlike some people. So fine, you want to talk, let's talk."
"Good. And what is that supposed to mean? I think you're confused and have mixed emotions. You've been acting insensitive and unfeeling ever since, well, since…"
"Since, since, since…" he mocked her in a high voice. "I'm confused and have mixed emotions? You can't bear to even admit that it happened."
She glared at him and said, "Well, at least I'm trying to work this out here. It's just that you've been more cruel than usual."
"But that's just it. This IS what's usual. Well, at least it used to be before we both made the biggest mistake of our lives."
"What is your problem?! I thought we went through this already."
"We did. You found that you could feel some other kind of emotion besides hate towards me and you realized how scared it made you that we kissed, and we both agreed it was just a senseless misunderstanding, end of story."
"I wasn't scared," she tried to argue with him.
"You ran away and left me there. Seems like panic to me."
"Ok, I'm sorry I ran off without discussing it first. But we did later, and it's settled then. It was just something that meant nothing to either of us, caused by fury and being upset.
"Right, people do crazy things when they're upset," he replied, sounding as though he were trying to convince himself more than anything.
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief that that was over and done with. But these small gaps of silence were too overwhelming, so she brought up the first topic that came to mind. "So what do you think of this Valentine's Ball?"
Draco shrugged. "I don't know. How can they expect everyone to become best friends just from a few measly dances. The idea seems ridiculous."
"Are you going to go though?" Hermione asked with a more hopeful voice than she had expected.
"Might as well, there's nothing else better to do.'
'Who do you think you'll be paired with?"
He shrugged again, but remained silent, staring at the wall behind Hermione.
"Come on, there has to be someone you're hoping to be paired with. What about that Ravenclaw girl you went out with a few times?"
Draco didn't wonder too much at that moment how she knew he had gone out with Melissa, because at this he leaned forward in his seat and put on his most serious expression, looking her straight in the face. "Why would I want to be paired with her when I like someone else?"
Hermione gulped and felt an odd disappointment in the pit of her stomach. "Oh," was all she said.
"Yeah," he replied looking ready to leave.
"Is it that Blaise Zabini girl? I've seen you two around each other a lot lately."
Draco slouched back, not knowing how Hermione could be so oblivious. He got up to go, not wanting to stay there any longer, but not before he said with mild sarcasm that Hermione didn't pick up on," Yeah Granger…it's Blaise."
Hermione was left in the room alone, drowning in her inescapable thoughts. Instead of clearing the matter up, the conversation she had with Malfoy only left her with more confusion. But, rather than dwelling on it, she did what she always did whenever she needed a diversion--she read. She was looking through the various shelves to find an enjoyable book, but it reminded her of Malfoy again, and that was the last thing she wanted. She was about to just go back to her room, but a worn leather book with gold, loopy writing caught her attention. The title read 'Hogwarts a History; First Edition'. Hermione had never known there were other copies of this book, and it immediately held her interest, so she brought it back to Gryffindor with her, felling compelled to read it.
Draco was beyond frustrated now, full of an emotion that had stayed with him everywhere he had gone for the past few weeks—especially near Hermione, and that was confusion. He didn't know how to act around her anymore, or how to react to anything she said. He couldn't even figure out how he was feeling, how was he supposed to know what she was? He was more than fed up with everything…just everything. If Hermione didn't care about their kiss, or anything else, then he didn't care. And if she couldn't tell what he had been suggesting then…he didn't know. What had he been suggesting? He had no idea if he liked her or not, or maybe it was that he didn't want to like her. But he couldn't deny the fact that remained-Hermione might have meant it when she told him the kiss was meaningless, but he hadn't. For him it wasn't meaningless, probably far from it. He didn't know exactly what the meaning was, but he knew it had to be something. He knew Hermione was probably in the room to find that spell book he had mentioned, and he had no idea what would happen once she read that footnote. He didn't know which would be worse, if she didn't read it or if she did. Not being able to deal with this anymore, he went up to bed even though it was still early, and lapsed into a fitful night's sleep.
As Hermione left the room, she failed to be aware of the pallid, translucent hand, delicately placing 'Similar Spells and How to Determine Their Differences' back onto the shelf she had previously been looking at.
As the Gryffindor made her way back to the tower, she was feeling an overwhelming amount of curiosity and fascination with the book now being clutched protectively to her chest. She immediately went straight to her dorm, no questions asked and without a second glance. She plopped down on her bed, wand in hand saying the 'Lumos' spell, and opened up to the first page. However, Hermione would have to wait until the next day to find out what interesting facts or hidden secrets this mysterious new find might contain, for after that, her eyes slowly began to drift shut. The past few days' events had exhausted her so much, that even Hermione Granger, bookworm-extraordinaire, was unable to stay awake to find out what this compelling book held.
Draco awoke the next morning to a slight tingling sensation spread throughout his body, but as he made his way to the bathrooms, he just casually shrugged it off as some abnormal neurotic disorder. He couldn't care less, he figured he couldn't feel much worse than he already did. What should some life-threatening disease be of any importance to him anyway? Yeah, he was feeling really optimistic this morning. He dragged himself into the shower, lagged a bit while messily throwing his robes on, and didn't even to bother checking his hair or the rest of his appearance. Which of course, if he was himself and not some alternate-universe Draco today, he probably would have lunged himself head first out the window, gladly plummeting to the ground for his number one rule being broken: always look like the perfected god you are. But, today it didn't matter too much.
The morning went mostly as usual, with classes seemingly dragging on and never-ending. After his last class, as he walked down the corridors, he noticed people were staring at him more than usual. He knew that look-wise he was God's gift to Hogwarts, even when he wasn't keeping up with his appearance like today, but-wait a minute- did someone just laugh at him? 'How dare they!' he thought angrily. 'And a scrawny, measly little first year at that!' Just as he was about to go over to them, he looked down at his hand, which was itching, and saw large splotchy blue specks in a few select spots.
"What the…" he said out loud, while the giggling groups dispersed giving him odd looks. Draco pushed back the sleeve of his robe and saw one big blue blotch on his arm. 'What the hell is this and where did it come from?' he thought while rushing to the bathroom. As he went over to the sink to see if it would wash off, he couldn't help glancing up to the mirror and gaped at what he saw. His lips were the same bright blue color as his hands and arm. He took a few steps closer to the mirror and blinked to make sure he was seeing things right. When he realized he wasn't hallucinating he began to panic and frantically rub at his mouth. 'Was I walking around like this all DAY?!' he thought with growing alarm as he realized it wasn't coming off. He decided to just quickly go back to his room desperately hoping not to many people had seen this, and that no one would on the way back. As he hurried down the hall he ran right into-you guessed it- none other than Hermione. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand and talked with fake enthusiasm to cover his dread. "Granger, what the hell are you doing here…I mean, um, how…good…to see you."
"Are you feeling okay Malfoy? And what's with your hand?"
"Hand, what hand?" he said shoving it in his pocket, but then he felt incredibly stupid, realizing she could now see his aqua mouth. But, then he looked more closely at her and realized her mouth was the same color.
"What's with your mouth?" the two asked simultaneously.
"My mouth?" they again asked at the same time.
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked looking extremely worried.
"I suggest you go look in a mirror Granger," Draco answered while smirking.
Hermione gave him a quizzical glance, while going over to the girl's bathroom, and he followed her in, knowing her reaction would be priceless. As Hermione looked over toward the mirrors an ear- piercing scream could be heard practically all over Hogwarts. Not only were her lips an aquamarine color, she also had blotchy blue marks on her forehead and cheek.
"Oh…my …God! What is that?! Has that been there all day? Why didn't anyone tell me?! Oh my God," she started in a frenzied rant.
Draco couldn't help laughing at her panicked state.
"What are you laughing at? You have it too."
'Oh yeah,' he thought 'Oops.' "Yeah, well, it doesn't look as bad on me as it does on you. And that's probably not the only place you have it," he told her still smirking and walking toward her.
"What do you mean? And why isn't it coming off? And why are you even in here?" she asked while washing her face worriedly.
"Look," Draco said while pushing her sleeve up. Sure enough Hermione too had a few blotchy blue marks on her arm, but in different places, and she seemed to have more than he did. But as Draco had lifted her sleeve, his hand brushed against her arm, and she watched with amazement as one of the spots faded away.
"Oh look, its going…away," she ended realization hitting her.
"Oh no…this is NOT happening," Draco said, looking as though it was the end of the world.
They both now knew what they had to do to get the blue spots off, and neither seemed too thrilled about it.
A/N: Another chapter yaay! Everyone please review cause it's the only way you're gonna get another chapter lol. And also go read and review my songfic I'm With You, I think it's pretty good! Thanks again to Susamina and Shadow Slytherin, luv ya guys! Go read their fics Slythindor and Harry Potter and the Forbidden Love, do it now. Also, thanks to Jenni for always making me laugh and for likin this, and if you haven't read Quarantine go do it! It's really good! I'm not sure when the next chapters gonna be out cause I'm really busy now, but hopefully soon! Remember again to review hehe, and I'll TTYL!
~SweetWater~