AHHH! I'M FINALLY UPDATING! REJOICE BE GLAD, WET YOURSELVES WITH JOY!

Thanks to all who reviewed. Looking back on those inspired me to get going again!

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Angel Sanctuary.

Sober is Relitave

If you ever think about the people you live with, I mean seriously think about them you begin to realize how utterly insane they all are. Yes, I know when does Katou, your humbly high narrator have time to think? When he's immobile, of course.

I don't remember what I took earlier…but it was some fucking good shit, and as soon as I can move, I plan on taking more! That is unless my housemates don't use it all. That's right, I'm out of rehab, reverting back to my old self, more or less, and my housemates are in my position. Utterly and hopelessly fucked up.

See, there's me…you know me, Juichi, who we just call Jui most of the time, Key, who owns the place, and our darling little girl, Ema.

Ema, is the most beautiful little girl on this planet. She's cute, adorable, sweet as pie, and she can take a hit without looking like a pussy. I bet you'd expect with all the drugs she does she's as jaded as me? …Well you're wrong. She's as innocent as they come, she's genuine, and smart, though she wouldn't get a sex joke if it came up and fucked her in the ass.

Now that I think about it, she's also got a crush on me too. She treats me differently…she blushes when I compliment her about anything, and she always seems to crawl into my bed when she has a bad dream.

She's a good kid.

I can kind of remember yesterday, through the snow in my mind. I was sitting on the couch and looking at nothing in particular, when all of a sudden she's in my lap, smiling up at me with her big brown eyes.

I looked back down at her with a quirked brow, 'yes?' I asked her in a convincing annoyed voice.

Ema's look went from elated, to worried, to sad, almost crushed. She could never get my sense of humor, dry, sarcastic, and a lot of the time you couldn't tell if I was joking unless I eventually cracked a smile…or I was high, so she slowly began to look down, defeated.

Now, I know what you're thinking, Katou! How can you be so mean to such a sweet girl? She likes you and you're teasing her like that? I hope she never forgives you! Yeah, well if I feel like being an asshole, I'll be an asshole, but honest to god, I couldn't hurt this girl if I tried.

…So I gave up. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, 'just kidding,' I crowed to the otherwise empty living room and pulled her completely up onto the couch with me.

The slow dawning of realization that she'd been played dawned over her face. It's the best face ever—she goes from confused, to shock, to pouty. Knock out combo. Add ten points.

'Katou,' she yelled, 'you're so mean! I hate you forever!'

'Fine, you know what? Fine, fine!' I said quickly in mock pain, eventhough I held her tighter. It was now so that I was leaning back onto the couch and she was cradled in my arms.

Oh, if Kira could see me then! Holding a woman intimately—though it didn't seem intimate then. He didn't think I was capable of chivalry, on any level—yeah well fuck him, he's gone now.

Yeah, so what if I'm bitter? Thumper won and that's all that matters. Fucking Hell Bitch.

Anyway, back to my rather meager flashback:

She kind of tucked a strand of her red-gold hair behind her ear and frowned. 'I was just kidding Katou, you know I love you!'

Yeah that's right. She said the three most important words you can ever hear…according to Cosmo Girl, anyway.

And you know what? I guess I love her too. Not romantically, but I do love her. I guess you can love anyone that's stuck up for you when you were at the shittiest point in your life. She was quite literally my best friend for the year or so I was in rehab. Even when I got out, before she graduated, she wrote me to check up on me every week.

She was only nineteen then—she's twenty now, and like I said, I'm twenty-five. I'm not into statutory rape or anything so I'll keep my distance, it'd be like boinking my little sister anyway.

A little sister that has a crush on me…

Now, it's a bit later I guess. I'd spaced out again, and suddenly a pair of big strong hands is shaking me. So I glance over and see the unmistakable face of Juichi. Scary thing is, he looks like Kira---a big buff, almost always half naked—he sleeps a lot so all he has on are pajama pants, with dark black hair he keeps in a short pony tail and blue eyes that could kill.

I think that's the reason he and I have ended up fucking.

You wouldn't know it, but he's outrageously, mono-flamboyantly gay. You can't tell from how he acts, or looks, but I know how a gay man pounds ass—this guy is grade A certified gay.

"Ey, Katou—wake up shit-head!"

Yeah, this dude's gay. Just bear with me…

"What the fuck do you want, Jui?" I glared with my eyes closed, somehow, and rolled over a bit.

"I'm bored," he kind of whined, "fix it!" He began to massage my upper thigh, while he said that trying to persuade me into an orgasm from mere touching. Bastard…

"C'mon, Jui, let me sleep!"

"But Katouuuuu, atleast a rim-job!"

"Rim-jobs are for assholes, Jui, now let me sleep!"

I heard a pause for a moment and then I heard him chuckle. He'd gotten the pun. A moment later I felt him crawl onto my bed with me and pull himself close, and after a bit, he seemed to fall asleep.

KATOU WINS AGAIN!

But…I'm tired, so I guess sleep is just around the corner. I just hope that eventually, I'll get my life figured out. Drugs, sex, and wemon. It's like I'm from fucking G'N'R!

One question:

Am I the one with the top hat, or the fruit with the mic?

…

So? Keep going? Stop? Quit writing…? Review please!