If I Never Knew You

Chapter Two-----Reasons

Images raged through Squall's mind. Images of the Wars, through Seifer's eyes. The manipulation of Ultimecia, the pain of realizing he'd slaughtered those innocent people when she'd let him out of her mind control. Squall felt the longing Seifer felt. The intense pain of having no one to love and no one who loved in return. He loved Fujin and Raijin but that was different. Squall understood the blonde a little more now. The Wars had made him an even harder man. Life without anyone had made him the arrogant, self-serving jerk Squall thought he was.

An image of Fujin, sitting at their usual lunch table, staring off into the crowd, Raijin and Seifer making a comment, earning a blush and a laughing smile from their quiet albino friend. A smile Squall wanted to see again. However, what he saw next, he wished he hadn't.

"No! Please Mommy, I'll be good, honest!!!" Fujin's small figure hunched in the corner, the sound of strikes against her small body rang in Squall's ears. The raven haired woman yanked her up and growled at her.

"You good for nothing little whore! You'll never be good enough! Not for me, not for your father, not for anyone! You hear me, you waste of air?! YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH! Never!" The physical and verbal abuse continued on, until the girl was finally left alone, crying in the corner, murmuring to herself.

"NOT. ENOUGH.NEVER .ENOUGH." The sound of her small, miserable voice made his heart break.

"It's a whole new world isn't it Squall?" The voice asked, the image fading. Everything around Squall seemed real, yet at the same time, completely dreamy.

"Who are you?" The voice laughed and didn't answer, instead, the voice opted to ask another question.

"You've seen a fraction of the pain one of your...recent, comrades has gone through...let's see what you've gone through." As the voice and the surroundings faded from Squall's sight he could only imagine the voice meant him as in Seifer.

"Please let me go...please." Tears trickled from the jade orbs and the cracked skin dripped blood down his cheek. Hands crushed around his arms tighter. Squall felt the pain in his cheek and arms. His entire body felt detached from his mind.

"I'll let you go alright you little piece of s---!" The man's voice growled and Seifer's body was dangled over the edge of the bridge. The waters below raced towards the river bend, crashing along the boulders in their path. Seifer stopped trying to struggled and went limp. At that point, he wanted to die. But the man, his father, brought him back to the ground.

"Your not that lucky, kid. Get in the car, and I don't wanna hear another word from that friggin' mouth of yours, understand." Seifer didn't answer. His father's eyes narrowed and a powerful hand clamped itself around his jaw, pushing his lips out.

"Understand?!" Seifer nodded and 'dad' let go, pushing backwards onto his rear. The bruises were already turning blue...

"Why are you showing me this?" Squall asked quietly once the scene had ended. The voice didn't reply for a while.

"Because, you needed to see it. But that's just part of it...there's more to this Squall. However, you wouldn't be able to handle much more in one night. I will see you again, Squall. Very soon." With that, the voice was gone.

Squall bolted upright in bed. The dream. It made him want to wretch. But he didn't. He felt a tremendous urge to check on Fujin, to make sure she was still alright. 'But she's not alright you idiot...her mother hated her... beat her!...How can she be alright?' The sleeping form on the couch turned slightly and winced. Squall assumed it was from her dream. What was she dreaming about? That night her mother told her she would never be good enough? Fujin frowned and a small cry escaped her lips and her arms reached up to shield herself from the blows in her dream.

"STOP IT!" She screamed and her eyes snapped open. Squall jumped a little, startled from the exclamation and turned a worried face towards her.

"Are...you ok? I mean-" Fujin slumped back against the arm of the couch and draped an arm over her eyes. After a moment, Squall became aware of the small, choked sobs that escaped her lips and the tears slipping down her face. It tore him up inside. Slowly, he moved to the couch and lifted her up, letting her head rest against his chest. Fujin buried her face in his shirt, ashamed at her lack of control, and sobbed. Squall wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her middle, pulling her closer to the warmth and safety of his arms.

"I was home again...I was nine....and she just keep drinking and yelling...and then I was...I was 12...and...and...oh, Hyne Squall. It was such a bad dream...such a bad dream..." Squall frowned and patted her shoulder, shushing her. What happened when she was 9? 12? What more could she have gone through? What more could have Seifer gone through? Squall though back to the voice in his dream. He would find out soon enough.

Eventually Fujin became aware that she was still clutching his shirt like a little child. Hyne. How she despised appearing weak. It was something her mother had taught her to taught about herself. Among other things. Her mother. God how she loathed that despicable excuse for a human being. A hand reached up to her left eye and realized that she didn't have her patch on. She bolted up right and fumbled around in the dark for the patch. Squall looked at her curiously and when her hand closed around the article he grabbed her hand, gently, and looked at her closely. Close enough to make her nervous.

Squall's ice blue eyes focused in on the now exposed left eye. A thin, clean cut scar ran across the violet orb, leaving puffy pink flesh over the healed wound. A broad hand reached out slowly to her face, his thumb brushing her cheek gently, his eyes never leaving hers. Fujin closed her eyes and melted against the warm, comforting contact his hand make with her cheek. The only other contact she'd had was a fist against her face. And the knife. She remembered the day all to clearly. But right now, all she could focus on was the fact that Squall's hand was still caressing her cheek and his other arm was still wrapped around her in a protective embrace.