A-N: The update is here, late because of our dear ffnet. Welcome to the Seamstress Series outofivanhoe! Thanks for the cookies, Estriel, and I'd love to try the chocolate in Berlin, anna. So...only a couple chapters left after this one. This is one of my favorite chapters in the whole story. Hope you enjoy it! oOo

15. Big Choice #2

Lester rode straight through Pseudopolis, ignoring one-way traffic, and down to the docks. Hanna wasn't screaming anymore because she'd run out of breath. She gritted her teeth and held on and called on several gods she might have offended in recent years to make some deals that would come into effect if she got off the horse alive.

They reached Polk's end of the docks. The horse galloped past the workers, who looked up in surprise, and clattered up a gangplank onto one of the ships. The plank was quickly pulled in and the crew on board started pulling up anchor.

Maltesi, Dennis and Griffin raced onto the docks in time to see the ship push off slowly into the river. They could see the horse on deck. Hanna and Lester were gone.

Maltesi was about to get himself off Dennis' horse and make a swim for it but Griffin pointed down the docks.

"Which of your ships can be ready the fastest?"

"The Star, the Ankh, the Jewel…doesn't matter. Just get me down there!"

oOo

A large crystal bowl full of peppermint candies was the center of attention in Madam Meserole's study. The children raced in from their stations throughout the city and in the countryside as soon as word passed down that Hanna and Maltesi were heading for the docks. Grubby hands scooped up candies and deposited them in grubby pockets. There were sandwiches and fruit that were consumed on the spot, Madam's orders. No peppermints until each child had a sandwich and a piece of wholesome, nutritious fruit.

A little girl was sobbing next to the candy bowl.

"Auntie! Gilbert took my share!"

"Gilbert!" scolded Madam. "Give Tina back her share."

Gilbert still had the runny nose problem. He let it drip in unpleasant ways.

"She dint run as far's I did."

Madam narrowed her eyes at him. "Gilbert."

He squirmed under the stare, then reached in his pocket.

"Stupid candy. I don't want it anyway." He tossed it at Tina. The candies sprawled out across the carpet and the other children dived for it, shouting.

Madam was about to deliver a moment of justice to Gilbert with the flat of her hand when a messenger arrived. He told her the news.

"Good," she said. "Get everything moving at the docks. Send a clacks when it's done."

She started corralling the children into the foyer. They wouldn't be needed anymore.

oOo

Phineas Polk sighed and shook his head.

"Lester. The treasure. I asked you to get the treasure."

They were in a comfortable sitting room on board Polk's ship the Merryweather. Lester cleared his throat and was about to say something but Polk was on his feet bending over Hanna's hand.

"Pardon the enthusiasm of my son, Lady Hanna. Strict instructions are sometimes…unfathomable to him." He sighed again.

Lester pointed at Hanna's hunchback.

"She does have the treasure, dad."

Polk ignored him.

"This turn of events was unforeseeable, milady. Believe me, the last thing I wish is to cause you any harm or inconvenience. The Polk Shipping Co. is a proud friend of Ankh-Morpork, and Lord Vetinari, of course. I'm embarrassed by all of this. I really am."

"He's going to skin you," said Hanna.

"I don't think so. We've had some fruitful negotiations. But first, perhaps I could offer some tea. Lester, go get the tea. Your coat, milady?"

Hanna hugged herself tightly. Polk smiled.

"Later, then." He folded his hands in his lap. "Despite the circumstances of this little get together, I am delighted to finally meet you in person. I've heard…and seen…so much about you. Pseudopolis is honoured by your presence. Our modest city is not often graced by Ankh-Mopork nobility. May I ask how long you plan to--?"

"What negotiations? His lordship would never talk to someone like you. Anthony said--"

"Oh, I wouldn't listen to too much Anthony said. Did you know that I was on his father's crew? In the glory days of the Ankh under Captain Maltesi. Anthony was almost like a son to me."

"I seriously doubt that."

"It's true. I was, in fact, the First Mate. There is, of course, a small problem with being second in command."

Lester arrived with a tea tray.

"You can't be first until the captain's out of the way," said Hanna.

"Correct, milady. Sugar? Fine. You appear to be thinking that my ambition had something to do with the Captain's death, but that is not true. I left the Ankh several years before he died. A heart attack. A natural death as far as I know. Mine was not an altogether friendly parting, but I did not help along the Captain's illness, no matter what our dear Anthony thinks. His suspicion has weighed on my heart all these years. It has coloured his opinion of the work I've been trying to do. Organizing the docks for the good of the workers. As a guild woman, you certainly know how important it is to be organized."

Hanna pretended to sip her tea, her lips on the edge but the liquid only touching her mouth. She trusted Polk like she trusted a kick in the backside.

"You sent people to have him roughed up," she said.

"Softened up," said Polk. "It was necessary to make him more open to the precarious situation he is in. Here and in Ankh-Morpork. Lord Vetinari was not, as you might imagine, pleased with your rendezvous."

"What did you negotiate?"

"Ah, yes." Polk set aside his tea. The cabinet to his left was close enough for him to reach it without getting up. He took out a stack of iconographs.

"These are all originals. The copies have been destroyed, as promised."

Hanna looked through them, her blood rising. Her and Maltesi in every shot, candid iconographs from practically everywhere they'd been together the past weeks.

"You took these?"

"Lester. He is a passable iconographer. Lord Vetinari was quite interested in the more…revealing images."

Staring at a nude iconograph of herself and Maltesi, Hanna felt herself blush. She glanced up and saw the smirking smile on Polk's face.

"You sodding--"

"I spared him the worst of the Bath House ones," he said. "I do have a heart, milady. And I was quite counting on Lord Vetinari having one as well."

"Good luck."

"Thank you, but I have it already. You see, his lordship and I agreed that if you give me the treasure you have so cozily strapped to your back, I will give you the iconographs. A fair trade. There are other elements of the deal, but they aren't relevant at the moment."

"Some deal. Your Lester wanted to steal it in the mountains."

Polk held his hands out. "You can't blame a gentleman for trying. But as it is, we are now back to the original deal. Once I have the treasure, you may leave the ship with the iconographs without a mussed hair on your very blonde head." He frowned. "Except for the ones Lester caused. I apologize again. I believe I read somewhere that you are no equestrian."

"You really destroyed the copies?"

"I swear it. You have my word as a gentleman."

"And that's worth how much?"

Polk smiled at her. "You are a delight, milady. So…feisty. I almost regret that I'm a happily married man. Alas, I believe we've been chatting long enough." He gathered up the iconographs in a stack on the table. "We shall do the trade and I'll set you on pier number --"

The entire ship lurched suddenly, and there was a sound like something soft splattering against the hull. Lester rushed in a moment later.

"We're under attack!"

Polk got up just as the ship lurched again. "This has truly got out of hand," he sighed.

Hanna scooped up the iconographs and followed him onto the deck.

It was the Jewel of Istanzia, about the same size as the Merryweather. The cannons were pointed straight at Polk's people and there was Maltesi, striding up and down the deck, shouting orders to a crew of humans, dwarfs, trolls and golems.

"TWENTY DEGREES RIMWARDS!"

The cannons were adjusted.

The ships were still far enough away that Polk had to shout.

"Anthony! Stop this nonsense! You're an embarrassment to the profession!"

"FIRE!"

The cannons were lit, there was a rumble, and then…

Hanna was the first to process what exactly it was that the cannons belched. A smelly cloud of reddish pink shot through the air toward the deck of the Merryweather. She dived for cover.

Polk didn't. The prawns rained down around him. He brushed several off his shoulder.

"Fine, Anthony!" he shouted. "We could have handled this like civilized gentlemen but I see that is impossible. I'm warning you, we have more to offer than prawns! Lester!"

"Yes, dad?"

"Load the cannons."

"Um…" Lester looked slightly embarrassed. "We took the cannonballs off so we could get more cargo on."

"We have no cannonballs."

"I'm afraid not."

"What do we have?"

The Jewel was floating closer. Maltesi's men were busy re-loading the cannons. Many had clothes pins on their noses.

Polk grabbed his son by the collar.

"What do we have?"

"Cabbage," said Lester. "That's it. The Merryweather just came in with a Sto Plains shipment, remember?"

Polk released his son and tried to control his breathing.

"Cabbages are like cannon," said Lester helpfully.

"Fine. Fine. And what kind of cabbages do we have?"

"I believe they're red."

"Red cabbage. At least they're a threatening colour." Polk pinched the bridge of his nose. "Load the cannon, then."

Lester scurried off.

"Perhaps you could speak with Anthony when he gets closer," Polk said to Hanna. "This is really quite ridiculous."

"I don't know if he'll listen to me. I think he's having fun."

Somebody located a tricorder hat and a sword and gave them to Maltesi. He was wearing his glasses, but otherwise, he looked the part of a brave ship's captain. Or a studious pirate.

The sword was thrust in the air.

"Ready!" he called.

"Please give it a try, milady," said Polk. "Do you know how hard it is to eradicate the smell of spoiled prawns?"

"I think he wants to play pirate," said Hanna. "He won't listen to me."

"FIRE!"

The volley of prawns went a bit high, hit the sails and blubbered onto the deck.

"Are we ready?" Polk demanded. His crew gave a thumbs up.

"Watch out, Anthony!" Hanna shouted. "He's got--"

Polk gave the command to fire.

At the series of booms from the Merryweather cannon, the crew of the Jewel took cover. Except Maltesi, who was shouting for his men to reload. The cabbages were more dangerous than the prawns. The ones that didn't explode immediately were like two pound balls shot at an uncomfortable velocity. They went splat when they impacted with the Jewel. A golem was knocked over.

Maltesi speared a cabbage in the air with his sword.

"Bring her in closer!" he ordered.

The Jewel was getting so close to the Merryweather that they didn't need to shout to communicate from one ship to the other. Maltesi waved for a couple trolls to get the gangplank.

"Are you finished, Anthony?" asked Polk.

"Just showing you we mean business."

"I expect full compensation for the cabbages and I want your men cleaning up these awful prawns."

Hanna realized that she was still clutching the iconographs. She shoved them hurriedly in her coat pocket and hoped Polk didn't see.

Maltesi was joined on the deck by Griffin, who whispered something in his ear. Maltesi nodded. The gangplank was extended.

"All right, Polk! We'll pay for the clean up. We'll forget about the whole thing. I just want Lady Hanna back safely. Send her over and we're square."

"I'm glad to see you being reasonable for once." Polk turned to Hanna. "The treasure, please, milady."

The crews of both ships got the gangplank attached. There was 20 feet of river water between them.

Hanna held the front of her coat closed.

"I'm not giving you anything. I don't believe Lord Vetinari made a deal with you, and if he did, he's an even bigger bastard than I thought he was."

"I assure you that we do have a deal."

Hanna tried to get to the gangplank but he held her tightly by the arm.

"Milady. Please. Don't make this difficult."

Maltesi was up on the side of his ship.

"Hanna, let him have it."

"What?"

"The treasure's not important. Just let him have it and come over."

"I didn't go through all this to give it to him!"

"It doesn't matter." Maltesi went to the foot of the gangplank. "Just give it to him and come on over."

"No!"

"Please," said Polk, "listen to the young man. He's being smart for once."

Hanna stared at Maltesi. He was smiling with encouragement and motioning for her to take off her coat. Polk was doing the same thing. She slowly started unbuttoning it.

"That's a girl," said Maltesi.

Polk just smiled.

"I'm going to make Lord Vetinari's life a living hell until he hangs you out to dry," she snapped.

"Whatever you say, milady."

Hanna dropped her coat on the deck and slipped the pack off her shoulders. Polk slung it over his.

"Thank you, milady. You're free to go."

Hanna started for the gangplank. Griffin watched everything from the navigation deck of the Jewel.

"Don't forget your coat, milady!" he called.

She scooped it up and stepped onto the plank. It was a bit too narrow for her taste. She looked down at the water.

"Don't look down," called Maltesi. "Just come on over. That's right. One step at a time. But not too slow. Come on, Hanna."

He went a few steps out on the plank and held his hands out for her. She trotted up to him too fast and they teetered for a moment before he pulled her onto the Jewel.

"Take the plank down," he ordered. "Move us out." The crew scurried around with the ropes and sails.

Maltesi reached into her coat pocket and pulled out the iconographs. He waved them at Griffin on the navigation deck. Griffin started signalling with semaphore flags. A man picked it up at a clacks tower on land, and he directed the signals further. In the direction of Ankh-Morpork.

Looking smug, Polk waved at the Jewel.

"Thank you, Anthony, for an amusing afternoon. Lady Hanna, it was a pleasure. My apologies once again for the inconvenience."

"You remember what I said!" she called back. "I wouldn't sleep with the lights off from now on if I were you."

Maltesi squeezed her hand. "It's all right."

She spun on him. "What about Madam? What about the--"

He put a finger to his lips and pointed.

Another ship approached the Merryweather, a sleek thing loaded with men. They were carrying crossbows. Dennis was standing in the prow and he was wearing some kind of uniform.

"What's Dr. Bayles doing there?" asked Hanna.

Polk frowned down at the ship.

"What is the meaning of this?"

Something flashed in Dennis' hand. A badge.

"Pseudopolis River Watch, sir."

"There's no such thing," said Polk.

"We're new." Dennis smiled. "We have a report that contraband material is on your ship. Do we have permission to board?"

"Of course not! This is ridiculous." Polk pointed at the Jewel. "If you want contraband, scratch the surface of any of Mr. Maltesi's ships."

"Sorry, sir, but the report is about you." Dennis' ship was up along side the Merryweather. Several of his men threw ropes up and started climbing.

"I did not give you permission to board," said Polk.

"The regulations say if we have due cause, we can board without permission."

Dennis' men poured onto the Merryweather. Dennis scrambled up one of the ropes and hopped down beside Polk.

"Can I search your pack, there, sir?"

"Of course you can't. Lester! Get the lads together and--"

"Sir, I suggest you open the pack."

On the Jewel, Hanna looked at Maltesi. He smiled down at her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Is there really a Pseudopolis River Watch?"

"As of this morning, apparently. Madam Meserole seemed to have something to do with it."

Polk was yanking the straps of the pack and Dennis was yanking back.

"Please, sir. You only have to open it. Then we'll move onto the cargo hold."

"This is a disgrace! I will have my lawyers on your neck within five minutes of getting on land."

Dennis finally pulled out a knife and sliced open the canvas pack. He ripped the fabric, took a look, and straightened up.

"Could you tell me what that is, sir?"

"It's a book. The Quantum Weather book, to be exact. Are books on the contraband list?"

"You wrap your books in banana leaves, sir?"

Polk looked puzzled, then looked inside the pack. Then he brought the whole thing up to his nose. He turned pale.

"But this is…"

"Hershebian chocolate, yes, sir." Dennis waved to his men. "I'm afraid that's on the top of our list. We'll have to take you down to the watchhouse."

Polk dropped the pack and pointed over the water at Hanna.

"She brought it onto my ship! It's not my chocolate."

"But it is your ship."

He grasped Polk's arm, but Polk resisted.

"This is entrapment! I want my lawyers!"

Griffin reappeared on the deck of the Jewel. He waved and called, "Mr. Polk!"

"Who the devil are you?"

"Lord Vetinari sends his friendly greetings, sir."

Polk stopped struggling. He went pale a second time.

Hanna had a malicious smile on her face. She didn't know who Griffin was, but it was obvious that the whole thing was sewn up between the Patrician and Madam Meserole. There was no way Polk was going to get out of it, lawyers or no.

She waved at him. "Thanks for the tea, Mr. Polk!"

Maltesi saluted just before Dennis led Polk to a cluster of armed men, who lowered him onto the police boat.

Griffin introduced himself to Hanna and shook hands with Maltesi.

"I have a small tip for you, Mr. Maltesi. There will be a routine search of your ships in the Ankh-Morpork docks one week from today. After that, there may be periodic surprise searches. His lordship feels he's overstepping his authority by warning you about an action of the Guild of Dock Workers, but his good judgement was overruled by other considerations. His lordship also cordially invites you to visit him for a small tete-a-tete at the Winter Palace should you ever decide to set foot inside the Ankh-Morpork city limits."

It struck Maltesi that cordial was probably the wrong word for that invitation, and that a tete-a-tete was about the last thing he wanted to have with Vetinari. By the end of it, there would probably only be one functioning tete left, and it wouldn't be Maltesi's.

"What will happen to the chocolate?" Hanna asked.

"Dennis will take care of it, milady."

"I bet he will. She will." Hanna had enjoyed seeing Polk get what was due him, but now she had the leisure to be properly furious.

"Get me on land, Anthony."

oOo

The moment Lord Vetinari got the urgent clacks from Pseudopolis, he sent a message down to alert the Dock Workers that they were free to impound Polk's ships and lock down his office. It would take weeks to search every inch of every ship, and to record every bit of cargo. Smugglers were so clever. If the guild men looked hard enough, they'd probably find something. Lord Vetinari counted on them doing it.

He relaxed in his chair in the Oblong Office. It was a relief that Hanna made the right decisions. From the Patrician's perspective, the easy part of the whole episode was over. General intrigue was relatively simple.

Things would get harder when Hanna came home.