::: A Little Lesson :::
by
- GlazedAndConfused -
DISCLAIMER
Yeah, right. As if I owned Evangelion rather than GAINAX. But, I can dream... right?
"..." - denotes speech.
"(...)" - denotes whispering.
Italics denote thoughts and Japanese dialogue.
Rei Ayanami, the designated pilot of Unit-00. Quite possibly the most enigmatic person anyone at NERV has ever seen. At first glance, anyone would think that she didn't even have any emotions, judging by the seemingly omni-present look of neutrality on her face. Not once has that expression fazed, not even so much as a smile broken out on that face, similarily with a frown or any other look of happiness or sadness. Those who did know her, namely many of the employees at NERV, but chiefly Misato Katsuragi, Shinji and Gendo Ikari, and Asuka Langley Souryu, could not help but think that she was emotionless altogether, with the latter often referring to her as an 'unthinking, emotionless doll' due to her tendency for following orders without objection.
It is said that the eyes are a window to a person's soul. The First Child was obviously an exception to that very rule of nature. Instead of projecting her feelings or emotions, it was as if they were shutting people out, to not let them be known. That fact was disputable, however. It would be a task in itself to try and find out what exactly was in her mind. Not even the people who knew her would find out her thoughts. Never one to be social, she did not really try to make friends. Whether she wanted friends or felt she was better off alone was unknown. She rarely spoke, unless she was responding to an order given to her by the Commander, Gendo Ikari, or whether she deemed it necessary to speak. While not a sociable person per sé, the albino did have an interest in the world around her; there were just several parts of it she did not understand the significance of.
In short, Rei was a complete mystery, comparable to an infinite string of wool; to unravel one layer would leave a plethora of other layers that had yet to be unwrapped.
Shinji Ikari, the designated pilot of Unit-01; not by choice, however, it must be said. To him, piloting the EVAs was similar to a double-edged sword; while there were it's benefits, such as saving the lives of many people from the attacks of the Angels, it also had it's downsides, one of them being the fact that in order to save mankind from the Angels, it was inevitable that lives would be lost and damage would be caused in the process. He, in a few senses, was similar to Rei. He did not have many friends himself, but at least he was sociable.
In his case, his feelings of loneliness were down to what Ritsuko called the 'Hedgehog's Dilemma'. While he wanted to make friends and get close to the person he chose, he was afraid of getting hurt at the same time. Loneliness in general was a thing that he hated, unlike Rei; the First Child didn't really seem to care if she had no friends.
And with having to put up with people like Asuka a few days a week, nobody would really blame her.
The First Child took a particular interest in Shinji after his arrival at NERV, as he seemed to be the only other person alongside his father, Gendo Ikari, who showed any signs of caring for her. Though whether the Commander's care for her was only because there was a use for her in the fight against the Angels, the younger Ikari showed signs of genuine care and feelings. He cried for her, after her EVA got damaged in the fight against the fifth Angel, Ramiel. He even made her smile. She enjoyed the feelings which filled her whenever she saw him, and when he did anything for her.
It made her... comfortable. It was an enjoyable feeling.
It was as if she had grown to enjoy the attention he paid her.
There were many emotions she had seen during her time as the Unit-00 pilot at NERV. Happiness. Sadness. Anger. Amusement. But there was one which she had never understood the significance of.
Love.
An emotion which holds more than one definition.
What was love exactly, anyway?
She knew that it was a strong emotion of regard and affection between two people, a deep feeling of desire and attraction between two people.
But what is it about love that draws two people together?
Either way, this was a question she was determined to get the answer to.
Saturday morning. Shinji Ikari was walking down the streets of one of the less attractive parts of Tokyo-3 where Rei lived, an envelope in his hand. The sounds of metallic clanking and crashing echoed through the oppressive heat of theair in a perpetual mantra. How anybody could live in such an area like this, he would never know. Then again, Rei probably didn't care what the surroundings were like; at least she had somewhere to live. Taking several glances at the concrete jungle of tower blocks that surrounded him, he finally reached the First Child's apartment after making his way up a few flights of stairs. Pressing the buzzer that was next to the door, he noticed that it still was not working. He wondered whether she actually thought of either changing the battery or getting a new one. Grabbing the door handle, he pulled back and found that it, as usual, was unlocked. He stepped inside, slipping his shoes off near the metal door and closing it behind him. There was still a load of unopened letters stuck in the letterbox, and the room was still lit by a very dim glow, the bulb occasionally flickering.
"Excuse me, Ayanami-san? It's me, Shinji." He called.
There was no answer.
"Ayanami-san?"
Still no answer.
"Okay, I'm coming in." He quietly stepped towards her room. The curtains were still closed, fluttering in the wind with the sunlight filtering in from the outside, providing at least some light. How is she able to see in such darkness? Shinji wondered. Looking around, he noticed that her usual possessions were there. Her bed. Her rubbish bin beside the bed. Her freezer, with the half-full glass of water and the slightly cracked pair of glasses on it. Her old chair and stool. What seemed out of place was that he could hear some sounds. Voices, perhaps? He looked around and noticed that one corner of the room was illuminated by the glow of a TV. At least she has something else for leisure, he thought. He stood and watched what was on the TV. Judging by the actions of the characters, it looked like the video of her choice was a romantic one.
Standing in the same position where he first encountered the albino girl, he could not help but remember the first time he had met her. He had entered the apartment in exactly the same way. He remembered looking around, curious as to how she could get by by living in such conditions. He remembered noticing those glasses with the slight cracks on the lens. He remembered walking over slowly, then picking up the glasses tentatively, unfolded the arms and placed them over his eyes. He froze upon hearing the soft shuffling of footsteps on the carpet, and turned around slowly, noticing the First Child behind him, wearing nothing but slippers and a brown towel, covering her breasts and - only just - her womanhood. After exchanging glances with one another, neither of them averting eye contact, Rei walked briskly over to him and removed the glasses from his head.
What happened next, he could not help but remember - even if he didn't want to. He inadvertently fell forwards and on top of Rei, dragging the top drawer out at the same time, all of her underwear flying out onto the floor. A few awkward moments were spent staring at each other; him into those unblinking, blood red orbs of hers - her into those chocolate brown eyes of his. "Will you get off?" Her soft yet emotionless, indifferent voice snapped him out of his reverie as he noticed a soft, warm feeling on the palm of his hand. Looking down, he noticed that his hand was on one of her breasts. Trying his hardest not to stare at her chest, he quickly removed his hand and got up, allowing her to do the same. He turned away as she got changed. After a few moments of trying to explain why he was there - if plenty of 'um', 'ahh' and 'erm's counted as a decent attempt at an explanation - he stopped speaking after he heard the door slide open and eventually close, noticing that Rei had left the room, leaving him alone. Shaking his head vigourously, he cleared the flashback from his head...
"Ikari-kun?"
...and almost made a hole in the ceiling of Rei's room as the said person, perhaps by telekinesis, appeared right behind him. He never heard the patting of her shoes against the floor as she approached him. He spun around and found her about five feet away from him, her hands clasped together down by her waist, wearing her usual school uniform.Her eyes were fixed on his, unblinking, before he looked away, too nervous to hold her gaze.
"A-A-Ayanami-san..." Shinji stammered, looking around nervously before remembering the reason why he came in the first place. "M-Misato-san wanted me to give this letter to you..."
Without any words, Rei took the envelope from his hand and placed it on top of the chest of drawers, next to her glasses. She then sat down on the floor in front of the TV, and motioned him to sit next to her. After a few moments of watching the video that the First Child had on, she pushed the Pause button and turned to face Shinji, staring into his eyes once again.
"What is it, Ayanami-san?" Shinji asked, nervously.
"Ikari-kun," the First Child said flatly, "what is love?"
Shinji paused and pursed his lips for a moment, trying to think of a good answer to the question. He knew that there were a few things that thepale blue-haired girl did not comprehend the importance of in every day life, but this was a question which could not be defined in only one way. After a few more moments, he spoke. "Love is..." He paused again. "Well, it's basically a feeling of strong affection between two people, expressed in ways like kissing, touching... you know, things like that."
Rei shook her head slightly. "No. That I understand," she replied as Shinji listened with rapt attention. "What I do not understand is why the protagonist hasfallen in love with his companion," she continued, pointing at the screen. It showed the main character and his love interest holding each other's hands while walking slowly down a seaside promenade, enjoying one another's company. "What is it that they see in each other that makes them share this mutual feeling in the first place?"
Oh boy, the Third Child thought, mentally sighing. This is going to be hard.
"Well... where to start... you can love someone for several reasons. Their personality, their looks, anything. Like, for example, you could love somebody because they are honest... good-looking... in fact, just good to be around in general," he stated.
Rei looked intrigued. This conversation is becoming interesting, she thought. "You can love someone because of who they are?" She asked.
"Hai."
She turned back to face the TV, pushing the Play button. More moments passed without a word being spoke by either person, until sometime near the end of the video, when Rei pushed the Pause button once again, shifting and turning until she was facing Shinji, staring him directly in the eyes.
"Ikari-kun, is there anything you like about me?" she asked.
The Third Child looked at Rei disbelievingly,the expression on his face seemingto say 'you really need to ask?'. W-Why do you need to ask? Of course there's things I like about you! You're honest... you're strong-willed... and you're beautiful! Why would you think otherwise? Nodding his head vigorously, he began to recite his thoughts. "O-Of course... you're honest, strong-willed, and..." he trailed off, blushing brightly as he made eye contact with the First Child.
"And?"
"...You're... beautiful." Shinji replied in a barely audible squeak. The faintest traces of a blush spread across Rei's cheeks at the comment.
Even the corners of her mouths seemed to be tugging upwards into a smile.
"Thank you... Ikari-kun." She replied in a monotonous whisper, moving slightly closer to the young Ikari, making his heart rate quicken slightly. "You have admirable qualities of your own. You too are strong-willed. While you do not pilot your EVA by choice, you also get the task completed to a satisfactory level. And you are also good-looking."
Shinji blushed and looked away nervously, unable to meet her gaze. After a few more moments of silence,Shinji spoke up again.
"Ayanami-san?"
"Hai?"
The Third Child felt as if his heart had jumped up to his throat. Gulping heavily, he met her gaze with his.
"I like you."
Rei maintained her blush and reciprocated. "I like you too, Ikari-kun."
Shinji's eyes widened. "Nani? Y-You do?"
"Hai."
The Third Child blushed once again, the shade of crimson becoming deeper. If his heart hadn't reached it's full beating rate after Rei's words, what he was about to ask next would have sent it through the roof.
"I... I never got the chance to thank you after... a-after we defeated the fifth Angel," He stammered. "Y-You saved me by taking the force of the ray it fired." He gulped once again, trying to retain his composure. "So... I hope you don't mind me asking... if I may..."
Rei tilted her head sideways slightly, noticing his embarrassment. "If you may what, Ikari-kun?"
"...If I may... kiss you?" The last two words also came out as an inaudible squeak, it would have been surprising if anyone could even decipher it. Oh, no... she's going to hate me now. She's going to tell me to leave... she'll...
"Hai."
She'll... nani Shinji was immediately jolted out of his thoughts by that single word. Softly spoken, yet enough to pierce through the strongest metal. He had to shake his head to clear his ears, not believing what the First Child said. Yet, he shuddered as he remembered the time he kissed Asuka... remembering when the fiery German girl pinched his nose closed, telling him that his breath tickled her,and kissed him, then got angry after she broke it off.
Definitely not a moment of bliss for the young Ikari.
"Did... did you just say... I could?"
"I did. You have kissed Pilot Souryu before, as I recall."
Shinji blushed. "B-But, t-that was different..."
"Yet it was still a kiss. Ikari-kun, I see no reason for you to be embarrassed about asking to kiss me. We have mutual feelings towards each other, so there is no harm in it."
The Third Child's heartbeat went into overdrive. She was right. Yet, while he was the one who asked to kiss her, he was becoming more and more nervous as the chances came. He saw Rei lean forward slightly, closing her eyes as she waited for him to make his move.
Those lips... Shinji thought. So inviting...
Letting out a shuddery breath, he sighed and slowly leaned forward, tilting his head to the side, closing his eyes as his lips neared hers, the distance between them closing slowly but surely. When their lips finally made contact, Shinji's eyes widened- mainly as a reflex of what he was doing, but he slowly closed his eyes after a few seconds. For either of them, it was not the perfect kiss as such, but it was enough to make them both feelcomfortable in one another's presence. Rei hesitantly broke off the kiss, her blush still highlighting her cheeks. She looked at the clock.
"Ikari-kun, it is time for us to go for our sync tests."
Shinji looked at the clock, and nodded, surprised at how much time passed since he initiated the kiss.
"Hai."
They both stood up and dusted their clothes off, exchanging a glance before Rei spoke again.
"Thank you for coming around, Ikari-kun. It was most pleasant."
The Third Child blush. "Ah.. i-it was nothing, really."
"Would you like to come over again tomorrow?"
"H-Hai, if that's okay with you."
Another brief moment of silence passed between the two. "I like you... Shinji-kun."
"I like you too... Ayanami."
The faintest traces of a smile appeared once again on Rei's face. "Well, shall we go?"
"O-Of course."
With that, they both left the small apartment for NERV headquarters, neither of them saying a word as they walked.
::: END :::
::: AUTHOR'S NOTES :::
Woo. My first Evangelion fanfic... and it was a pretty hard one to write, too. If there's any slight formatting problems you've noticed, thenblame QuickEdit and not me. :P
I know what you're thinking; it's crap. So, go ahead. Click that little 'Go' button at the bottom of the page and start flaming. :)
Anyway. All kinds of feedback are welcome. If you think Rei or Shinji - or both of them - are OOC, that too is welcome. Just look in my profile for my email addresses.