Welcome to the OFFICIAL (oh!) Mary Sue of Tortall. (Hmm..does this mean
all the other Mary Sues must pay me? *evil grin* Oh, the possibilities.)
This is basically written to poke fun at Mary-Sues. And to put off finishing my Bio lab.anyways, please review, I do love reviews, and even flames may be recycled.hence the name. (No, I don't mean I'll flame you back. I only flame BAD authors.)
Disclaimer: No, I'm not Tammy. Therefore, I don't own Tortall. *snaps fingers* damn.
***********************************
Mary Sue of Tortall
PROLOGUE
She was a stunningly beautiful girl; no one could deny that. At 5'8", she was tall and slim, with shiny blond shampoo commercial-esque hair that fell in soft, sleek waves to her small waist. Her eyes were large and blue, fringed with excessive lashes, which she lowered coyly when she wanted to hide her intelligence. But her beauty disguised a lethal force. She could beat the best of the court swordsmen with either hand tied behind her back, come out unscratched from a street brawl that left big men unconscious, ride bareback while throwing daggers, take down a squad of the King's Own single-handedly with just her magic to aid her, and wield not just sword but dagger, glaive, club, staff, mace, and throwing stars. And that wasn't even mentioning her impressive skill with the lance and bow and arrow.
Mary Sue was smarter than Neal.
More powerful than Numair.
Wilier than George.
Faster than Liam.
Stronger than Raoul.
Flirtier than Dom.
Sweeter than Cleon.
Richer than Jon.
More superficial than Roger.
...and she slept with them all.
************************************
Yes, that's just the prologue. If I'm feeling particularly inspired (or uninspired, depending on how you see it) I'll update sometime soon. Reviews, of course, would inspire me more. Flames amuse me.can I get a bonfire to toast marshmallows on? Although compliments make me feel all nice and fuzzy.whatever you want. Just REVIEW!
Love
The FLAMER
This is basically written to poke fun at Mary-Sues. And to put off finishing my Bio lab.anyways, please review, I do love reviews, and even flames may be recycled.hence the name. (No, I don't mean I'll flame you back. I only flame BAD authors.)
Disclaimer: No, I'm not Tammy. Therefore, I don't own Tortall. *snaps fingers* damn.
***********************************
Mary Sue of Tortall
PROLOGUE
She was a stunningly beautiful girl; no one could deny that. At 5'8", she was tall and slim, with shiny blond shampoo commercial-esque hair that fell in soft, sleek waves to her small waist. Her eyes were large and blue, fringed with excessive lashes, which she lowered coyly when she wanted to hide her intelligence. But her beauty disguised a lethal force. She could beat the best of the court swordsmen with either hand tied behind her back, come out unscratched from a street brawl that left big men unconscious, ride bareback while throwing daggers, take down a squad of the King's Own single-handedly with just her magic to aid her, and wield not just sword but dagger, glaive, club, staff, mace, and throwing stars. And that wasn't even mentioning her impressive skill with the lance and bow and arrow.
Mary Sue was smarter than Neal.
More powerful than Numair.
Wilier than George.
Faster than Liam.
Stronger than Raoul.
Flirtier than Dom.
Sweeter than Cleon.
Richer than Jon.
More superficial than Roger.
...and she slept with them all.
************************************
Yes, that's just the prologue. If I'm feeling particularly inspired (or uninspired, depending on how you see it) I'll update sometime soon. Reviews, of course, would inspire me more. Flames amuse me.can I get a bonfire to toast marshmallows on? Although compliments make me feel all nice and fuzzy.whatever you want. Just REVIEW!
Love
The FLAMER