Characters: Ensemble, Laura Roslin/Lee Adama
Spoilers: You Can't Go Home Again
Disclaimer: BSG belong to Ronald D. Moore and Universal Studios. 'Gravometric distortion' I got from ST: Voy. The title belongs to Keane. I own my imagination, but sadly not Apollo or Roslin. Please don't sue.
A/N: I started writing this before the episode 'You Can't Go Home Again' aired – and that eppy kinda messed-up my whole premise, so I did a little re-writing and decided to post anyway!
Somewhere Only We Know (Part One)
Apollo sits opposite Roslin on the flight to Colonial One; they haven't exchanged a word since boarding; both reflecting on the council assembly they have just attended. A precedent had been set by the rescue attempt of Kara Thrace and Roslin wanted to ensure there were measures in place if similar circumstances were to occur.
The ships cabin is filled with shadows and they're suffering slight turbulence. Apollo stares out of the window, lost in thought and feeling drained: it's been a long, difficult day.
Roslin watches him carefully, this uneasy silence between them keeps growing… but the shift in alliance from Lee to Tigh was forced and it's made her question Apollo for the first time. Laura has always considered him to be her sounding board and now she knows Lee's feelings can get in the way and she's worried, because maybe her own feelings blinded her to his ability to be human… to make mistakes. Now Roslin is questioning everything and she isn't in a position to do that; that's why she had called together her councillor's and the military today – a new article was needed.
"Captain Apollo?" she says softly.
He turns his attention to her. "Yes Ma'am?"
"I think that we should – that we need to discuss what happened when Kara Thrace- "
Lee holds up his hands to silence her. "I've been meaning to apologise," he says. "I'm sorry if I put you in an awkward position. You were right from a military standpoint - but I was also right, she's family and you don't give-up on one of your own."
Laura smiles. "Have you noticed how you're always apologizing to me? Even when I think you're right."
Apollo looks surprised by this disclosure. The craft begins to shake again. Laura ignores it and fixes him with a steady gaze; she wants him to know she's sincere. "I think what you were trying to do for Lieutenant Thrace was admirable – I know she's important to you… and if I had been in your place I would have done the same, but I'm the President and I have to think of the good of the majority. I'm not in a position to stand back and allow the fleet to be endangered…"
The Captain nods his understanding and Laura falls silent.
After a moment, Apollo smiles mischievously. "Despite everything - you know you've still got my vote, don't you?" he jokes.
Roslin laughs. "That was always foremost on my mind!"
Lee is about to respond when a jolt runs through the shuttle; the lights dim to emergency back up and the craft shakes violently. Roslin's eyes widen in alarm. Lee gets to his feet and heads towards the cockpit. The shuttle suddenly lunges sideways, throwing Roslin and Apollo to the floor and the craft starts to plummet downwards, and then everything fades to black…
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Roslin stirs from unconsciousness. Her eyes flicker open and pain courses through her body. Slowly she sits up, unscathed apart from some bruising. The shuttle is shrouded in darkness; Lee lies on the floor beside her. She gets to her knees and leans over him, checking for a pulse; he's still alive. She feels a surge of relief.
"Captain Apollo… wake up," she calls gently.
He starts to groan and his eyes open. "What happened?"
"I'm not sure," Roslin says and gets shakily to her feet. She moves towards the cockpit and opens the door to find the pilot's lifeless body slumped over the destroyed helm control. She turns away from the sight with distress.
Lee sits up slowly and sees the expression on her face. "At least we're still alive," he says.
She closes the door and moves beside Apollo. She slips a hand under his arm and helps him get to his feet. He's still sluggish, so he lets her lead him over to a seat.
"Do you think this is divine retribution or just irony?" Roslin asks.
"Crashing the same day as you decree a limited time-window to find crash victims?"
Laura nods.
Apollo wants to laugh but his head hurts. "I'd say it was just bad luck."
Roslin moves over to the shuttle hatch and peers out of the window, they're surrounded by woodland. She turns and looks at Lee. "I think we're well-and-truly frakked!"
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Adama stands beside Tigh on the Bridge of Galactica. Both peering over the information that Dualla's console is producing, the young Petty Officer looked regretfully at the Commander. "I've tried to locate the co-ordinates of Shuttle Mk I on the planet's surface but the gravometric distortion which pulled them into the planets atmosphere is interfering with out sensor readings - it's near impossible to pin-point their position, Sir."
"At least we have their last known coordinates before they were sucked into the planets atmosphere," pointed-out Tigh, he could see Dualla was tired but they were all exhausted, none of them had rested since the shuttle's disappearance twelve hours ago.
Adama rubbed his hand against his temple, hoping the sensor readings would miraculously change the harder he rubbed. He was trying to remain hopeful – they has landed on an M-class planet, oxygen wasn't a problem… they had enough water to last a day or two… but no food supplies – rations had been scarce and emergency supplies aboard shuttles had been recalled for general consumption.
"We are going to find them, no matter what it takes," Tigh assures his friend, patting the Commander on the back.
Adama looked at his second in command, he felt relieved at Tigh's optimism; the crew were already over-fraught with emotion from Kara's disappearance and retrieval – and now this! Adama has already taken into consideration the possibility that everyone aboard the shuttle was dead, but he's not willing to accept it and nor are the crew. Not yet. "I want another raptor sent down to the planet," the Commander decided, rubbing the beard growth that had formed since his son and Roslin had vanished.
He has various horrific images of what could be happening to Lee. His fear is great and no matter how hard he tries, he can hear his son calling for help… hear Lee calling his name… and he hated to admit it, but with Roslin gone, to all intense purposes, he was their leader and he hadn't realized how much he had depended on her. Then her words from yesterday's council assembly echo in his memory, 'We cannot afford to waste precious resources by continuing to look for missing crewmember after a 48 hr window. I know it's difficult… but we cannot allow our personal feelings to dictate our actions. You and I have a responsibility to this crew and that responsibility must override any individual feeling.'
Tigh looks uncertain. "Another search team is inadvisable, there are already - "
"I know how many there are and I'll send as many as it takes until they're found! Now dispatch another," Adama snaps. He will get them back. He must.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Lee stands over the remains of the engine, shaking his head in hopelessness. Roslin stands beside him.
"Not good, huh?" she asks.
He gives a humourless chortle. "That would be an understatement Ma'am."
"Can you repair it?"
"No."
Laura looks surprised, as if she thought he could fix anything.
Sensing her despondency, Apollo than adds. "But I can use parts from the engine to create a radio transmitter – our one was destroyed in the crash. We can send a signal to Galactica and they'll be able to use that to trace us."
Laura nods. "Okay – so while you're doing that, I'll go hunt and gather."
Lee looks at her in astonishment. "Hunt and gather?"
"We have no food supplies Captain," she reminds him.
He continues to stare at her in disbelief.
"What?" she asks, straightening her suit jacket.
"Hunt and gather?" he repeats dubiously.
"I'll have you know, Captain Apollo, that before I was the President I was a girl scout."
Lee laughs, thinking she'd probably look cute in the uniform. "Okay – but don't go too far – I don't wanna have to build a radio transmitter and go in search of you…"
"Girl Scout… did I mention that?" she retorts.
He nods. Roslin mock-salutes him, mumbling something about chauvinist opinions as she wanders off in search of food.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Laura stands motionless, thigh-deep in a river, her skirt hitched up to her waist. Her shoes sit on the riverbank next to her jacket which is filled with fruit and roots she has gathered, lying next to it are the fish she has already caught. She watches the large speckled fish take her bait and with a quick movement, she snaps up her improvised rod and pulls the wriggling fish out of the water triumphantly. She throws it onto the bank, deciding that three fish are enough.
She wades through the water and carefully climbs the rocks back onto the bank. She pushes her skirt down and then realises that for the first time since the Cylon wars started – she is alone. Completely alone. Overcome with a sense of liberation, Laura lifts her hands in the air and spins. She throws back her head and starts singing a song her mother taught her… that she and her sisters used to sing around the campfire on summer vacation. She laughs with joy at the freedom.
After a moment, she calmly puts her shoes back on, picks up the bundle of food and fish and follows the trail back to the shuttle, hoping Captain Apollo has made progress with the transmitter.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Kara Thrace arrives back from her failed rescue mission; despite her injuries, she had been the first out on the hanger deck when news of Lee's disappearance broke. The blonde sees Adama standing alone at the operations table on the Bridge of Galactica and joins him. The Commander attempts a smile as she approaches.
"How are you holding up, Sir?" she asks.
"I'm holding. What about you?"
"The whole crew's taking it badly," she replies, trying not to show how deeply it's effecting her. She's already lost Zak; the idea of losing Lee as well is unbearable.
"We have to stay positive," Adama says.
"I can't help it. It just keeps running through my mind, what if we don't find them? What if they're dead? The crew won't recover from something like this. The President and Lee… We've lost so much already."
He avoids her eye. "That's exactly why we can't give up hope – we got you back, didn't we? Besides, Lee wouldn't give up on either of us that easily. I'm sure he'll make it – and Roslin, she's a gutsy lady."
They study each other for a moment and then Billy, looking completely out-of-place, enters the Bridge and heads over to them. Roslin's aide looks weary. "Any news?" he asks hopefully.
Adama shakes his head. "No, the newly dispatched away teams haven't reported back yet," the Commander has a distant look in his eye as he adds. "But they're alive, I can feel it."
Billy remembers the day the world ended - the day Roslin was sworn in and it's the way she changed 'I take the position of President' to 'I accept the position of President' during the inaugural ceremony that makes her unique. He misses her; she's his friend, his only real friend – they started this journey together and he doesn't know if he can do it alone. "Commander, I'd like to help in any way that I can," he says.
Adama studies the young man for a moment and catches a look of desperation that he recognises. "Sorry son – I can't be worrying about your safety as well - you've got to look after the civilian fleet in the President's absence, that's how you can help," and he nods at Kara, she puts her arm around Billy and leads him away.
Roslin sits on a log next to Apollo, staring longingly at the sky; she's started a campfire while Lee continues to work on the radio transmitter. She watches the stars and wonders where the Galactica is now. How much time would they spend looking for the shuttle before they moved on? She pictures Billy worrying about her; he's a sensitive soul and she imagines Adama pacing the Bridge and barking orders – desperate to get Lee back, she knows he won't give up easily.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The fish is gently smouldering over the fire on a piece of metal she's using as a makeshift oven plate. She eats another piece of fruit; keeps telling herself it's a starter. She smiles to herself, glad her father had insisted on making her and her sisters join the scouts, his philosophy had always been: rely on no one but yourself. She looks over at Lee who is working steadfastly… well, maybe she could rely on one other person: her Captain Apollo.
She reaches out and tastes a piece of fish. "It's ready!" she tells Lee.
Apollo stops working and sets the radio transmitter to one side. He rubs his temples, his eyes hurt from straining to work in the dark.
"Are you alright?" she asks.
"Just a little… dizzy…" he says. She hands him a large leaf that's a makeshift plate, with the fish on it and he takes it eagerly. "Thank you."
She watches him carefully. "Maybe you should rest – "
He shakes his head resolutely. "It's almost done."
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
They've landed in another location and Boomer scans the woodlands area. Starbuck stands beside her and glances anxiously at the monitor.
"Well?" Kara presses.
"The signal is still scrambled… we'll just have to plough our way through the woods."
"Okay, lets go!" Starbuck enthuses, opening the hatch to the raptor.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
They're in the shelter of the shuttle's cabin, both Laura and Apollo are tired but Lee has completed the transmitter and set it up to send out a recurring signal, with any luck, a rescue team would soon be on it's way.
Apollo is lying across two chairs, his uniform jacket draped over him as a blanket. Roslin sits opposite him. Neither can sleep and they've been talking for the last hour – non sequitur, everything from how to get a good tan, to architecture, to childhood memories.
"I was never close to my father either – we had different ways of going about things, we argued a lot. He was a difficult man," Roslin confides. "But it makes you strong, having that kind of force in your life – it makes you a fighter…"
Lee grins.
"I'm waffling, aren't I?" she laughs. "You're humouring me because I'm the President and can have you consigned to toilet-cleaning duty if you don't."
"I like to hear you waffle," he says good-humouredly.
"Ah – I see you get your charm from your father!"
Lee's smile fades; Roslin's touched a nerve. "People used to say I got my charm from my mother - she was big on manners... and she always used to say I had my fathers sense of duty."
They fall quiet at this reference to the dead.
"She sounds like an astute woman," Laura says after a few moments.
"She was. I miss her," he takes a pained breath and then asks. "How's your treatment going?"
And normally she would change the subject, but Apollo has just shared something personal with her, so she feels obliged to be honest. "Well, my appetite comes and goes, but I still have my hair – so it could be worse…" she says and she hates being maudlin, so she fills her head with random reasons why she's glad to be alive: their right as a species to exist, civil liberty, music, literature, pancakes…
They're silent. Her expression is distant and he watches her fingers tap a tune he doesn't recognise on her armrest.
"You know, you never did tell me how you got into politics," Lee says, drawing her out of her reverie.
"I thought I had," Laura states.
"No. You said that one day you'd tell me."
Roslin gives him a despondent smile. "It was a combination of things really."
He looks intrigued. "Did your father encourage you?"
Roslin restrains a laugh. "Lords, no! My father would never have approved, he thought the government was a tool of oppression… and my mother was against any political aspirations I had - she thought I should concentrate on finding a husband and starting a family, because she didn't want me to end up alone once she was gone. But I wanted to change the world, wanted to make an impact – at that point it seemed everything in my life just 'happened' to me… as if I had no say in the matter and I didn't want to be ineffectual anymore," she pauses. "My parents taught us to have the courage of our convictions… and that's what drove me on."
Lee studies her, there's a flicker in her eye, like a painful memory has resurfaced. Unconsciously, she rubs her arms, as if cold.
"Madame President?"
She looks directly at Lee. "I met Adar at university, I was training to be a teacher – help shape young minds as my contribution to revolutionizing the world," she laughs. "He was young, idealistic – unrelenting! He had a way of talking, you know. Made people sit-up and listen, made you believe… I would have followed him anywhere! Would have laid down my life…" she trails off. Laura takes a pained breath, aware that Lee is watching her closely. "You know, Captain Apollo, even after everything we've been through - I still believe that good can come from the most desperate circumstances. Triumph of hope over experience."
He nods. "I lost so much in the Cylon war... I've tried to… my father wasn't around much when we were growing-up and when he was, Zak was afraid of his disapproval and I was always tying to prove that I was better than him. It just seems so pointless now… stupid and pointless."
Roslin shakes her head. "But without that experience you wouldn't be who you are now, and for what it's worth, I think you're a remarkable person."
Apollo gazes at her in wonder. "Thank you," he says. "Your opinion is always…" he pauses and sits up, tucking his jacket around him for warmth. "When I look back on my life, I seem to have spent it seeking other people's approval - but serving you is the first time I've ever felt a sense of purpose."
Laura goes to say something but feels unable to. She wants to tell him how important his friendship and support has been to her. How fearful she was of the future for the people in the wake of the Cylon attacks, how her own illness has terrified her… but words fail her and she wants him to know, but she never seems able to express it properly.
Lee's gaze intensifies, she's so unguarded, so natural and he wants to protect her – wants to turn to her for protection. His eyes run the length of her body, beginning at the finely crafted ankles that lead to an expanse of leg that threatens to go on forever. Then to thin hips, which curve elegantly up to a flat stomach, his eyes continue their journey upwards, across her breasts and up to her slender neck, finally resting on her face.
As the silence lingers, they can't ignore the obvious anymore.
"Don't look at me like that…" she entreats, her breath catching.
"I can't help it," he says, suddenly tired of containing his feelings, of always being in control.
She grips her armrest because she's spent too much time in recent days thinking of him, thinking of his piercing blue eyes, imagining the feel of his hands against her skin and now he's looking at her like that… and she doesn't want to be selfish or irresponsible or any number of things she could call herself if she lets this attraction come to anything…
Lee discards his jacket and moves beside her. "Ask me to keep your secrets and I will. Tell me you'll put duty before me and I'll understand. Ask me for anything and if it's in my power, I'll grant it…"
She stares at him. "I think that… I'm not sure what - " she says, looking flustered and he's never seen her flustered before.
Tentatively, Apollo leans forward and presses his lips to hers. When he draws back from the kiss, Roslin's eyes are closed and he wants to frame her in that moment.
She opens her eyes. "That was…"
"Crossing-the-line?" he offers.
Roslin nods. "Definitely. Definitely crossing-the-line and I should probably report you or something, but there isn't anyone to report you to and I - "
Apollo kisses her again; this time Laura slips her arms around his waist and returns the force of his kiss. He runs his fingers through her dark locks and presses his body forcefully against her. Lee feels her pulse quicken and after a moment, he draws back from her; locking her gaze and she sees his eyes are dark with lust.
A loud noise outside the shuttle interrupts their intimacy. Startled, they pull apart and exchange a cautious glance. Lee stands up and moves to the shuttle hatch, Laura at his side.
"Sounds like an animal of some kind," Lee whispers, gazing out of the oval-shaped window, but it's too dark to see anything clearly.
"Great," Roslin mutters. "A busy day at the office followed by a shuttle crash, then eaten alive by an unknown predator – this day sucks!"
Lee smiles. "Not all of it…" he corrects.
Laura gives him a half-smile and then their attention is drawn back to the hatch window as a low growl resonates in their ears and the shuttle is rocked by something impacting with it's hull.
"What the hell is that thing?" Lee exclaims.
End Of Part One