Yes, I am alive!  Unfortunately, so is Mary Sue.  For how long, only time shall tell.

Ladyknight:  Mwaha.   I shall give Mary Sue a sunburn.  How?  By leaving her a special, high concentrated flame.  Why?  Because Mel told me to.  Well, and I kinda hate Mary Sue.  FEAR ME, OH DEMON OF PERFECTION!

Mary Sue (look of extreme horror plastered across her perfect features): My skin!  My perfect, flawless, ivory-with-faint-touches-of-pink, baby-bottom soft skin!  I look like a bleeping lobster!  *sobbing* Damn you, Ladyknight! *shakes fist and runs offstage*

Heh.  I enjoyed that.  Leave me more interesting reviews so I can have fun inflicting pain on Mary Sue!  Oh, and Elf of Avalon (here on referred to as "EoA" for laziness purposes): it was not meant to insult blondes, considering that I myself am one.  But Mary Sue is, of course, blonde.  Very blonde.  In every sense of the word, except that she is conniving and doesn't generally walk into doors unless on purpose.  (JUST kidding!)  But anyways. Onwards! 

Mary Sue of Tortall

Chapter Two

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Mary Sue woke naturally at sunrise.  She flung the covers joyously off her bed, stopped, turned around, and made it quickly and easily with no wrinkles on the first try, and walked to her window. It was conveniently already open, sparing her the risk of breaking a nail.  She pushed it even further open and stuck her head into the quiet morning sunshine.

The birds twittered happily when they saw her, and flew eagerly to rest on her outstretched hands.  Mary Sue had only been practicing her new magic for a day or two, which meant that, naturally, she had mastered it; however, it never hurt to be sure.  Working carefully, she pulled a thin strand of her bubblegum pink magic from her internal core and wound it into a little loop in the air.  A sparrow with a little white patch like a crown on its head cocked its head and peeped at her.  She stroked its feathers gently and blabbered to it as she lowered the loop slowly around its neck.

"Yes, and you're a good birdie, yes you are, oh yes you are, you're a good—oh, dear.  Bye bye, birdie," she said apologetically as she mentally tightened the loop.  Crown dropped, limp.  Mary Sue pouted.  She couldn't bear to see any living, or once living, creature in pain.  Plus it was so cute.  Like a beanie baby.  Except less animated, and more dead.  She sighed, and pointed a manicured finger at the bird, who immediately zipped up into the air.  She smiled.  Even better than before!

She glanced at the clock.  Ten past dawn.  She mentally scolded herself for not getting up sooner.  The Tortallans would surely think her a lazy slob!  And that would certainly not fit in her plans.  She noticed a trunk at the foot of her bed, and opened it to find a vast array of fine dresses and accessories.  Smiling giddily, she pulled one out and began to undress.

She had almost gotten her corset done up when there was a knock at the door.  She froze.  Jonathan was th only one who knew she was supposed to be here, and he couldn't tell anybody without looking very guilty of a very bad thing involving—or rather, not involving—his wife, Thayet.  Shit, shit, shit…

Another knock.  Trying her best to keep both hands on her corset, she turned around.  There was the sound of a key, a click, and the door swung open.  Mary Sue screamed, and her hands flew to her mouth.  The man at her door just stared and blinked, not at her face, until she realized that when her hands had come to her face, they had left the ends of her corset, which was now hanging about her slender waist.  She half-gasped, half-screamed again as she hurried to cover her chest and turned around to pull up the corset.

"HAVE YOU NO COMMON DECENCY??"  She screamed at him through tears. 

"I—I—uh—"

She whirled around, corset now firmly in place, eyes blazing.  "No—no!  Don't—talk—to—me!  Out!"  For emphasis, she pushed him in the chest with her finger.  "Out!  Now!"

"But—"

"No buts!"  With that, she pushed him into the hallway and slammed the door. 

**

"Geez, Neal, you must have been even more drunk than you thought you were," Kel told her friend.

"I was not hallucinating!" Neal shouted back indignantly.  Kel gave him a sarcastic look.

"Mm-hmm.  So let me get this straight—you went back to your rooms this morning, opened the door, and found a beautiful half-naked blonde just standing there?"

"Well," he said sheepishly, "It was more like a third naked.  Or two fifths.  And she wasn't just standing there, she"

"Kicked you out, alone into the hallways, I know, I know!"

"It's true!  Don't roll your eyes at me!"

"Whatever you say, Queenscove…"

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Agh.  That was really short, I know, but it just wouldn't work to put the next section up right after that…it is coming soon though, as long as you all REVIEW *_~

Sorry it took me so long to update!  Remember, the more reviews, the more motivated I am…so if you've already reviewed and I still haven't updated, bribe someone else too.  (Hehe—I'm bribing you to bribe other people…the genius!) (eh, sort of.)

-FLAMER (who hasn't flamed anyone in a long while!  Why?  B/c—(glancing side to side)--*low voice* I haven't been on ff.n!) *collective gasp of horror* eep!

(runs away)