Stupid in Love
Chapter 2, Version 5
The Cat
Bakura was squatted in a corner, meditating. The former grave robber stared at a potted plant and tried to make it set fire with his mind. He was still blushing as he thought of what had just happened.
What had gone wrong? All he had expressed was that he just didn't want his hikari to commit seppuku… If Ryou went the way of hara-kiri, then he would have to live here all alone. Worse – have to act like Shen's son and Amane's oniichan! Oh the horror! Amane was like, the biggest brat in the universe…
Why did Ryou think it was funny? Commiting suicide was not funny! Dang it…
Bakura couldn't help feeling extremely guilty because he had been known to harm his lesser half for his own leisure. Sure, Bakura had physically abused his hikari over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over… but he didn't drink anymore! And therefore, he just hurt him a little. Besides, once he was sober he had found that he really liked little Ryou… maybe in that way.
A/N I think hanging out with a drunk 'Kura would be fun… ;)
Ryou wouldn't really commit seppuku, would he?
"…" Bakura stood up, deciding to go check on his lesser half. He would just have to give the weakling a reason to live then… Hm. What could he possibly do though?
Oh, yes! Ryou was such a romanticist, so if Bakura confessed to Ryou that he loved him, that would give Ryou a reason to live!
Bakura blushed lightly. "Aw crap," he said, "now I have to act mushy." He trudged out of the room, trying to think of a way to announce his new-found love to his new-found crush.
In the kitchen, Ryou brushed himself off. "Ok… that was odd…" Ryou smiled, "but very entertaining. I can't believe he thinks that I'm really going to commit seppuku, kitty." Ryou scratched the beige cat behind its black ears. "You're a pretty kitty…Can't believe somebody would just abandon you on the street like that! I didn't know Bakura was gay, did you?"
The kitty nodded. Ryou blinked. "Oh, well aren't you a smart thing…" Ryou gave the kitty a treat.
It is a good thing indeed that Ryou was not a homophobe, or else this story would end right here. Or, actually it wouldn't, but it's a good thing Ryou isn't homophobic because I absolutely adore shounen-ai. Anyway, Ryou actually had a large crush on his other half.
A/N I also realize that I didn't mention this until the next chapter, but you know, I wanted to add it into this one because I just did.
Ryou admired Bakura because he was everything he wasn't. Bakura wasn't afraid to act selfish or mean, and he had bangs that looked like bat wings on his head. He also could just send whoever or whatever he didn't like to the Shadow Realm, and there were lots of times when Ryou wished that he could do the same.
He had told his yami he didn't swing that way, though, and Ryou wondered if that just ruined anything between them.
"Do you suppose that Bakura has a crush on me?" Ryou asked the kitten on a whim. The cat just stared at him. "Well… whatever. It's fun to push his buttons, eh?" At this, the kitty nodded. "You really are a smart cat!" Ryou delighted. "I have to feed you…"
The "cat" wrinkled its nose as soon as Ryou turned away. But he was staring… at Ryou's… bottom… and licking his black, kitty lips.
"Shadi!" Bakura smacked the cat off of the counter. "Stop staring at Ryou that way, you stupid cat. I knew that should've run you over when I hijacked that eighteen wheeler. Now I may never get the chance. But… oh yeah, you've got nine lives, so I would just have to run you over nine times. Nine times the fun! Woohoo."
A/N Can anybody imagine Bakura actually saying "Woohoo"? I can. :D
"Huh?" Ryou turned and looked innocently at Bakura. "Why did you call the cat Shadi, 'Kura?"
"Uhm… Because it reminds me of that stupid Egyptian, so I thought we could name him that," Bakura lied. How was he going to explain that the cat was Shadi, who had been hanging out, waiting for a chance to put him on trial with the Millennium Scales? Well, he wasn't, that was for sure. But it had become increasingly apparent that Shadi had illicit feelings for his Ryou.
"OOH! Does that mean we can keep him, 'Kura?" Ryou asked, straightening up with a bag of cat food in his arms. He looked at 'Kura, his chocolate brown eyes sparkling like a jewel. Ryou loved cats, and this cat seemed like an especially smart kitty. Maybe he could exploit its talents and send it to "Animal's Funniest Videos" on Animal Planet.
Bakura stared at the cat food, trying to ignore the Ranma-esque situation forming here. If Ryou kept Shadi, it would be like Akane keeping P-chan as her pet. Except P-chan was a pig, and Shadi was a cat. And Ryou was a boy, and Akane was a girl. And Bakura's name wasn't Ranma, and if you dumped cold water on him, he would still stay a male specimen.
A/N Thank God.
Ranma eyes the large bag of Purina cat food. "…Where did you get that?" he asked suspiciously.
"…Crunchy."
"Forget that I asked," Bakura disdained, dismissing the subject with a slight narrowing of his eyes. Shadi wrinkled his pink nose in dainty disgust.