"What? Right about what?" Willow asked.
"About Xander and Faith," Buffy said. She leaned in close to Willow to speak conspiratorially. "I think something fishy's going on."
Willow scowled. "Why?"
Buffy shrugged. "She was asking me about him last night during patrol."
"Asking what, specifically?" Willow asked.
"If he and I had ever… you know… done it with him."
"Oh," Willow said. She sounded surprised, but Buffy thought there was something off about her tone.
"Yeah. And she was pretty insistent about it, too. Do you think maybe she's crushing –"
"Oh, look, I got these!" Willow said. She pulled some envelopes out of her bag and spread them out on the table. Buffy's eyes bugged.
"You're kidding," Buffy said.
"Kidding about what?" Xander asked as he and Oz sat down on the couch across from them. Xander started rifling through the packets. "Willow. What are these?"
"They're early admission packets," Willow said.
"Harvard, Yale," Xander read. "Wesleyan. Some… German polytechnical institute whose name I uh… I can't pronounce. Is anyone else intimidated? Cause I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words 'No Way' written in crayon."
"They're typing those now," said Oz.
"Oh," Xander said.
"I'm so overwhelmed," Willow said, happily. Buffy looked through some of the packets. "I got in! To actual colleges, a-and they're wooing me. They're pitching woo."
"The wooing stage is always fun," Buffy said. Angel did have such dreamy eyes when he looked at her just so.
"But it's weird," Willow continued. "You know, rejection, I can handle, cause of the years of training, but this…"
"I feel your pain, Will," Xander said. "Like right now, I'm torn between the fast growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I'm still waitin' to hear back from the Corndog Emporium, so…" he crossed his fingers. Xander was such a goofball. He was totally going to turn out fine, and they all knew it. Even he knew it, Buffy was sure. He just liked being funny. He couldn't possibly believe that his life was that bad. She smiled and laughed.
"Well I think it's great," Buffy said. "Early admission. Now there's nothing standing between you and a brilliant future."
"If I may suggest," Oz said. "Graduate. Gettin' left back? Not the thrill ride you'd expect."
"That's so cute!" said a feminine voice. Buffy turned and saw Cordelia approaching. "Planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge." She was directing her comments at Xander. Buffy was trying not to judge Cordelia, or be mean to her, especially since the whole Xander and Willow cheating thing, but Cordelia could sometimes be really vicious, and Xander didn't deserve it. Not completely.
"The comedy stylings of Ms. Cordelia Chase, everyone," Xander said bitterly, clapping his hands. "Who incidentally won't be needing a higher education when she markets her very own successful line of hooker-wear."
Of course, Xander really could hold his own against her, so Buffy figured she shouldn't worry too much.
"Well, Xander," Cordelia said, "I could dress more like you, but oh. My father has a job." She turned and walked off.
'Bitch,' thought Buffy. There really was no need to bring Xander's family life into a nice little insult-fest between exes.
"I'm not going to waste the perfect come back on you now," Xander said to Cordelia's back. "But don't think I don't have it. Oh yes, its time will come." He turned back to the group. "So, life beyond high school. Anyone. Please. Chime in."
"I hear it's nice," Buffy said. "And a place I'll never go, if I don't pass Mrs. Haggert's chemistry test tomorrow."
"Oh, I can help," Willow said. "Chemistry's easy. It's a lot like witchcraft, only, less newt. So, what do you say, study jam, my house, tonight?"
"I'm there," Buffy said. The bell rang. "Oh. I have to go see Giles, report on last night's patrol."
"Oh, yeah, he said he wanted to talk to you," said Willow.
"What about?" Buffy asked, a little concerned. Giles didn't usually ask after her until lunchtime, at least. "Is he okay?"
Willow winced a little. "He's… looked better."
Buffy sighed. "Better go see what's up," she said. She turned to Xander. "Walk me?"
"Sure thing," Xander said. He got up and joined her for her stroll.
"So," Buffy said. "Faith was asking about you last night." She thought she saw him twitch, but shrugged it off.
"Okay," Xander said.
"You don't find that at all weird?" Buffy asked.
"Buff, we live on a Hellmouth. I don't find… little dead kids who are actually fairy tales weird. What could I possibly find odd about an attractive woman asking about me?" he asked. "Actually, when I put it like that…"
"So you think she's attractive," Buffy said, accusingly.
"Well, yeah," said Xander. "I'm male, and breathing. She kinda, you know… oozes sexuality. But I find lots of girls attractive, you know, so whatever, it doesn't mean anything."
"Hmph," Buffy said. She hated it when things like logic derailed her perfectly good gossipy ideas. They arrived at the library.
"Uh oh," Xander said, peeking in through the portholes. "Second stuffy British guy alert."
Buffy looked as well. "Oh, man."
"Looks like someone's got a new watcher," Xander said. He smiled at her as he walked off towards class. "Make sure this one's not evil, huh?"
Buffy smiled at him and waved, before pushing through the doors to what was just destined to be a painful experience.
Xander was fairly certain that he was in the most awkward situation of his life to this point. He was alone in a grocery store, at 9 pm, purchasing nothing but a package of Twinkies and a home pregnancy test. He had meant to do this right after school, but… well, this type of thing, he had to work up the nerve for.
And worse. The only cashier on duty had gone to Sunnydale High. Xander hoped and prayed that his status as class loser would keep the guy from remembering him.
"Hey, Harris," the guy said as Xander walked up. So much for hoping and praying.
"Hey, Richard," Xander said, looking anywhere but at the guy's face.
Richard swept both the Twinkies and the test over the scanner without so much as a glance. Xander handed the young man his money, and grabbed the bag from the counter.
"Oh, Harris," Richard said.
"Yeah?" Xander asked.
"You still dating Cordelia?"
"No," Xander said. "Not for a while now."
"Maaaaan," Richard said. "That sucks for you. Tell her I said hey, would you?"
Xander cocked his head to one side. "Yeah, sure," he said. "I'll just do that, then."
"Hey, great!" Richard said, completely missing Xander's sarcasm. "Thanks, man."
Xander nodded at the guy and left the store. He considered going over to Willow's, but thought he had relied on her enough for the time being. It wasn't fair to her. Xander knew that, no matter how hard she was trying, she wasn't going to be able to get over him just like that. And however much that made him feel good about himself, he couldn't stand causing her more pain. Xander steeled his nerve and went to Faith's apartment.
But there was no answer at her door, so Xander went home. Which was boring, because his dad was drunk, and watching the television, and Xander had no intention of breaking that up, so he up and went back to the library. After getting the evil-eye from the new Watcher, Xander asked Giles if there was anything he could do. Giles quite happily put him to work reshelving books, while he and Wesley waited for Buffy to return from whatever mission it was that Wesley had sent her on.
"Mr. Giles," Wesley said. He had been looking through some books that Xander vaguely recognized as Giles' Watcher Diaries. "I wonder if I might speak to you for a moment." Xander took in the evil eye the new guy was giving him, and almost laughed.
Giles waved the man into his office, rolled his eyes once so that only Xander could see, then shut the door behind himself. Xander shook his head and kept reshelving. He heard some raised voices behind the door, and thought he picked out his name once or twice. About thirty seconds later, the door opened again and Wesley came back into the room looking angry.
"You," he said, pointing straight at Xander.
"Uh. Me?" Xander asked. He looked behind the guy, to where Giles looked kinda peeved. Which was impressive, because he usually only looked that way about Xander himself. And occasionally Buffy, but usually Xander.
"Yes, you," the guy said. "If you were researching the best way to kill a Dan'til demon, in what book would you find the method?"
"A what demon?" Xander asked.
"Green, scaly, about seven-and-a-half feet tall, tentacles that come out of its head, both front and back," Giles said. "Rather slimy by all accounts."
"Oh," Xander said. "You gotta stab it in the chest, but real hard, though. But it doesn't have to be a big weapon. Dagger'll do."
"Wrong!" Wesley said. "Not only did you not answer my question, but you got the method of killing it wrong. You see, Mr. Giles, he is unfit to be included in this. It is no place for civilians."
"Mmm," Giles said, chewing on the end of his glasses. "Show him a picture, why don't you?"
"What?" Wesley asked.
"I said, show him a picture."
"Oh, very well."
As Wesley delved into one of the books on the table, Giles seemed to look amused. Xander walked down from the stacks to the table, and waited for the picture.
"Here," Wesley said, showing Xander a picture of the demon. "This is a Dan'til demon."
"Yeah," Xander said. "Right. Like I thought. Stab it."
"I'm afraid you're wrong."
"I'm not wrong," Xander said.
"The book says here –"
"I don't care what the book says," Xander interrupted. "The fact is, Buffy killed one of those a few weeks ago. She stabbed it in the chest with a dagger, and it died, so quit with your trying to make me look dumb, Mr. Snarky Watcher guy. I'm not quitting the fight. Undomesticated equines couldn't forcibly remove me."
Giles looked up at him, surprise on his face, and Xander grinned goofily. "Willow and I did a report on horses back in elementary school. A few words stuck."
Giles smiled warmly at him. Xander liked when he did that, it made him feel like there was an adult role model who wasn't entirely ashamed of him all the time. Gee, why would that make him feel good?
"But, but," Wesley said.
"But nothing," Xander said, turning back to the annoyance. "By the way, if you try to give Faith that stupid test, I'll kill you. And if any of my friends get hurt because of you, I'll feed you to a vampire." He smiled at Giles. "See you tomorrow."
Giles nodded, lifting his glasses in an almost-nod.
"He can't be serious!" Wesley protested. Xander waited just outside the library door to hear what they said. "Threatening a Watcher?"
"Don't be silly," Giles said, lightly. "Of course he was serious. If you'd read all my entries before jumping to conclusions, you'd see that he has acquitted himself quite well, for a boy his age. Much better, I imagine, than you would."
Xander smiled and left, feeling much better than when he had arrived.
The next day, after Buffy skipped out on her chemistry test – the one, Willow pointed out, that she had definitely not shown up to study for – Xander pretty much wandered around wondering what in the hell he was supposed to do. He was still reluctant to go back to Willow – he knew she'd help him, he just didn't want to hurt her.
So he went back to Faith's apartment, and when he didn't find her there, he waited outside her door for her to return, and busied himself with counting the number of dots on the ceiling tiles.
He was awakened by Faith's foot in his kidney.
"Whabu!" he said as he woke up.
"Whabu?" Faith asked. She slipped her key into the lock and opened the door, without saying another word. But she left the door open, and Xander felt that was an implicit invitation. A step, he thought, in the right direction.
"Where've you been?" he asked.
"What are you, my watcher?"
"No," Xander said. "Just interested."
Faith looked at him. "I was out with B."
Xander nodded.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"I came to see you," he said. "Thought you might like a little company." Yeah. And by the way, can you pee on this stick?
"Whatever," Faith said, pulling a soda from the fridge. She tossed it to Xander and then grabbed one for herself. He was surprised by the action, but chose not to comment.
"You okay?" he asked, surveying her arm. Her elbows were scuffed up, and she had a small – and rapidly shrinking – bruise on her forehead.
"Fine," she said. "Just a little rough and tumble coming out of the squad car."
"The sq—the cops?"
"Yeah," Faith said. She took a long pull from her soda. "Me and B kinda got a little arrested tonight. It's no big, we knocked 'em out and got away."
"No big?" Xander asked, incredulously. He wondered what was a 'big' if not getting arrested. "Faith, you could be in jail right now."
"Ain't a jail yet built that can hold me," she said. "I'm really not worried."
"I am," he said, putting his drink down. "Faith, look, don't get angry at me for saying this, please, but… just because you're a Slayer doesn't make you above the law. I mean, you guys deserve some leniency, but… I mean, if you start thinking you're just better than everyone, what's to stop you from killing someone you don't like? Or who annoys you?"
"That ain't gonna happen," Faith said.
"I know, I just… I worry. Too much at times, but it's what I do."
Faith frowned.
"Look, just do me a favor… well, two, actually."
"What?" she asked.
"Just be careful out there, okay? I know you don't believe that any of us give a crap about you, or whatever, but it's not true. We do. I do. So just… be careful."
Faith sighed. "What's the other favor?"
Xander steeled himself, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the home pregnancy test. "Use this."
"Fuck you," she spat.
"Hey!" he said. "Look, I know you don't believe you're pregnant, and that's fine. But what if you are, okay? I may not be a great material for a father, but if I'm going to be one, I'd like to know."
She glared at him.
"Look, you take the test, and it comes back negative, and I'll stop bugging you."
Xander saw what looked almost like regret in her eyes, but it was quickly covered by even more anger.
"Of co—"
"What I meant," Xander interrupted, "was that I'd stop bugging you about that. I'm still gonna come over here and harass you though."
"Yeah right," she said. "You'll have had what you want and take off."
"That's not true," he said.
"Bullshit. Why the hell would you come back?"
Xander looked directly into her eyes. "Because I should have been doing it in the first place. Because I don't ignore my friends."
"What makes you think we're friends?" she asked, harshly.
"You are my friend," Xander said, an amount of certainty in his voice that even he was surprised at. "That means that I will bug you, annoy you, probably make an ass of myself in front of you, and I'll also support you at every turn – not blindly, but wholeheartedly. Whether or not I'm your friend is up to you."
"Don't hold your breath," Faith muttered. But she ripped the test from his hand. "You swear on your life that if I use this, you won't bug me anymore?"
"If it comes up negative, I will no longer bug you about you maybe being pregnant with my child, yes," he said. He shivered as he spoke, infused with the knowledge that he was not prepared to be a father. God he hoped it came out negative.
Faith tossed everything that wasn't the pee-on-stick and stalked off to her bathroom. Xander retrieved the instructions, feeling it was important to know what the results actually said. About a minute later, Faith returned with the stick. "What now?" she asked, impatiently.
"Now," Xander said, without looking up from the instructions, "we wait."
"How long's this thing gonna take?" she asked.
"Just a few minutes," Xander said calmly. Calm, because if he let out even a little bit of the whirlwind of worry and hope and doubt and inner loathing, he knew he would crack. Son-of-a-bitch, why hadn't they used a condom?
Oh right, he thought. He knew he was never going to score, so why would he bother to have one on him?
"Okay," Xander said after the appropriate amount of time had passed. "Now, we look at the little thing, and compare it with the chart."
Faith walked over and stood close beside him, holding the stick out in front of her. They looked at the stick, then back at the paper. Then at the stick again, and back to the paper one more time.
"Nuh uh," Faith said. "No fucking way."
"Okay," Xander said. "The test says positive."
"It's wrong," she said. "It's wrong, I know it is."
"I think," Xander said, "that that's a possibility. Willow said these things weren't—"
"Willow said?!?" Faith yelled. Shit. He obviously should have phrased that differently. "I knew it! I just knew you were bragging about all this shit to anyone who would listen, especially your little red-headed bit –"
"It broke her heart when I told her!" Xander yelled, slamming his fist down on the counter. Faith backed up a step.
"Willow was in love with me for the longest time, and I broke her heart so often… and this time, she just didn't even try to hide it. And I hate myself for that. But she overlooked her own pain, and she came through for me, she helped me when I needed it, because even though she used to dream about being in the position you are, she's my friend, and I needed her, and that was enough. Because she's Willow. And she's my best friend. And she is the best person I've ever known, so don't you ever talk about her that way."
Faith stood there silent, shock evident on her face. Xander continued to stare at her. After about twenty seconds, she broke. "Yeah," she said, softly. "Um. Sorry."
"I just… Will's parents ignore her a lot, and she didn't have a lot of friends when we were growing up, and on top of that I unwittingly tortured her for years, and now that I know, well… I get a little protective. This has really been testing our friendship."
Xander helped himself to a glass of water, and downed it in one gulp.
"Listen," Faith said. "I… I didn't know. I thought –"
"I know what you thought," Xander said softly. He placed the glass in the sink softly, and turned around. They looked at each other in silence for a few minutes.
"So now what?" Faith asked.
Xander took a deep breath. "Now we make absolutely sure, and that means going to a doctor."
"I don't have insurance," Faith said. "Or money, for that matter. Not that I can spare. G gave me some, but I gotta live off that."
"I'll take care of it," Xander said. "I'm not quite sure how, yet, but I'll figure something out."
Faith nodded once, and released a shuddering breath. "Okay," she said. "Do what you have to. I just… fuck. I need to know."
Xander nodded and turned to leave, but stopped before he got to the door. "You know, Faith," he said, "one day you're going to have to trust somebody."
He left without waiting for her response.
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End Chapter 6