Hi folks! I updated Chapters 1, 2, and 3 with some new content… If you haven't reviewed those yet, go back and do so or I may skewer you! (glare glare) The rest of the chapters are being edited now. I bought my sister Beyonce Knowles "Dangerously in Love" CD for Christmas, so this chapter is for her! Now excuse me while I go to worship my cat obsessively. Ryou will read out my review responses.

Ryou: I will?

Of course you will, cutie! (huggles Ryou while Bakura and Shadi glare at her jealously) Ha ha… Alright now see ya. (zooms out of there, fearing for her life)

ThePianoFiend: Thank you! It's nice to know that somebody appreciates my work...

Akio the dragon Master: Dogs do solve problems. They help people in hospitals. Dogs are nice. You're a great friend, Megan. Now go review Chapter 7! Ha ha, just kidding... yeah, this is sort of a Bakura-bashing fic, but ya know I've got to bash the bald man with the turban.

Scoodoo58: You talk just the right amount. Keep on talking. I'm gonna go put the word "gelding" in chapter 7! It's going to be my second word of the day. (Today's word is percolate.)

ttSerenity: Yeah, I try to be random without being TOO random.

Katto-chan: blushes Awww... go on! No I'm not! Ha ha ha… Thanks Kat.

Charlie: Yes, you know I love Eminem. Power to the filthy lyrics, ha ha.

mormonboy: merci.

Back! Thanks Ryou.

Ryou: You're welcome.

Shadi: Does your cat look like me? The one you were just worshipping?

(pokes Shadi in the chest) No! He's black, and white, and FAT! Do you want to be black, and white, and FAT?

Ryou: (imagines Shadi as a black person with an afro and giggles)

Bakura: (imagines Shadi as a white person with an afro and screams)

Shadi: …NEVER! (glomps Ryou)

Bakura: WHAT THE F—

Stupid in Love

Chapter 8, Version 2

Help From An Ally

Bakura stared ruefully into the shop. Ryou was having fun… maybe the boring Egyptian had convinced him not to commit seppuku! :( Wah. 'Kura wanted to do that! It was on his list of things to do! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

"Well then, I'll just take inspiration from those stupid Archie comics!" Bakura declared out loud.

"Good for you," a random person told him. Bakura sent them to the Shadow Realm.

"And that's for more inspiration! Bwa ha ha! Now… let's see… for the flashbacks!"

Flashback #1

"Tis the season to be jolly," Bakura murmured. "Fa la la la la, and ha ha ha."

"That's not it…"

Flashback #2

"…" There was no answer, so Bakura opened the door to the little library-type thing where Ryou's dad kept all of his books. Ryou was curled up on the windowseat, reading a book that was black with red lines on it. Bakura squinted. Were those red lines supposed to be blood?

Flashback #3

"Hai yami?" Ryou looked up at him with sparkling eyes. Bakura felt a knot in his stomach tighten. "Uh…"

Bakura felt his stomach tighten again. "Uh… wrong flashback. I think the one I'm looking for has something to do with music…"

Flashback #4

/Got me lookin so crazy right now
Your love's got me lookin so crazy right now
(your love)
Got me lookin so crazy right now your touch's
Got me lookin so crazy right now
(your touch)
Got me hoping you page me right now your kiss's
Got me hoping you save me right now
Lookin so crazy your love's got me lookin
Got me lookin so crazy your love/

"Dang it! Not the soooooong!"

Flashback #5

"It's pure garbage," Bakura opined. "You don't have this on CD do you?"

"No." Ryou paused to turn the page in his book. "It's on the radio."

"That's it!" Bakura shouted, gesticulating wildly. "I'll just buy one of Knowles stupid CDs and Ryou will love me more! It's so simple I can't believe it took me a page and a half to figure it out!"

Suddenly Bakura was tackled by someone heavier than him, which sucked.

"That's a great idea!" Yami Marik squealed, his spiky hair nearly impaling his friend. "Let me help!"

"No!" Bakura shouted at his best friend. "You're too fruity; you always screw things up! –Waiiiiiiiit a minute… I think I may have the perfect job for you. Go into the HDC and cause mayhem!"

Marik beamed. "Roger!"

"My name's not Roger. Actually, I'm not sure what my real name is, but that's ok." Bakura mulled this over before asking, "Do you know where the CD store is?"

Marik pointed to the store directly across from the HDC. Bakura sweat dropped. "…Oh. Well thanks!" He got up and ran in.

Marik smiled sadistically. " 'Time to check the damage, and cause some more,' " he said, quoting his own irresistible self. A tan man with a glowing third eye strode into the store. Nobody thought this was odd.

A/N (Ish drooling over Yami Marik.)

Marik walked into the store equipped with a MasterCard. Remember, destruction does have a price, but as long as you use somebody else's credit card, that price will never apply to you.

Ryou, apparently, knew this as well. "We'll take all of them," he sniggered, pointing to a huge pile of clothes next to Shadi. The Egyptian's eyes bugged out.

"How are we going to afford that!?" Shadi accused. Ryou giggled at him and held up waved a MasterCard in the Egyptian's face.

"Remember, clothes do have a price, but as long as you use somebody else's credit card, that price will never apply to you," Ryou chirped happily. Shadi stared at him. So did Marik.

"Who's credit card is that?" Shadi demanded. Ryou giggled.

"It's Kaiba's," he confessed. The white-haired teenager giggled some more for good measure, as he could see that it was giving Shadi a nasty twitch. 'Good. Stupid bald turban guy. Nothing against bald people, I just have a thing against turbans. They bug me. I wonder where 'Kura is now? He should be here enjoying this with me. He'd be smirking, or something important like that.'

"Shadi must think that Ryou is really cute to be able to put up with that," Marik thought in disgust. "Stupid Egyptian… I shall send him to the S.R.! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Looking to destroy someone again Marik?" Dr. Measly, Marik's psychician, asked. Marik pointed his Millennium Rod at him.

"How did you know!?" he demanded. "And why are you shopping here!?"

"You were saying it all out loud, anybody could've heard it!" Dr. Measly argued. "And I shop here because it's hip! MWEE!" The stringy old man did a disco pose. Every one in the store barfed uncontrollably. It was a bulimi-a-thon.

"Ewwwwwwwww." Ryou disdained the various fluids lying on the floor by wrinkling his nose. It was then that he happened to catch sight of one of the most twisted, malicious, evil, devious people who occupy this planet full of desolate hope.

"Oh hi Marik!" Ryou chirped amiably. "How are you today? I haven't seen you in quite some while. Are you well?"

"Crap, I've been sighted!" Marik said out loud. "Abort! Abort!" He ran out of the store, shoving over random coat racks on the way so that it would be all the more difficult for Ryou to follow him.

"…Well that was certainly very interesting," Ryou decided. "I wonder what he was in here to buy?" Ryou's gaze wandered to a shelf full of revealing tank-tops. "Probably one of those… Or maybe not, those are more of Malik's style." Ryou shrugged. "Oh well, I guess I'll never know."