I have uploaded version 2 of Chapter 7!! Not only that, but I can also boast 50 percent new content for chapter 2. Ma ha ha ha ha!!! Not that I expect you to go back and read it... OOH! Except for Kat. Not only that, but Kat has to review it, too! SO THERE KAT! :P LET IT BE KNOWN THAT KAT MUST REVIEW! LET US THROW TOMATOS AT HER!

It's TailThe one Kat forced to review this --UU: Don't let her boss you around, Tails! (fakely grins) GET HER! MA HA HA HA! Oh and please pinch Aeris' arm to make sure she is alive. She hasn't moved from the corner reading manga in like forevvvvvvvvver...

Shantina and Tochi Emterprises: :) May I?

Sami: I absolutely ADORE the song "Ass like that!" It's ssooooooooooooooo funny! :D :D :D Thanks for pointing out all the funny parts! I'm going to try to make this longer, so now I know what parts to keep in! :D Yay!

Akio the Dragon Master: Oh, did it? -.-;; Bugger… I will try to fix it soon. Oh, and you'll like Valon in this chapter. (smirks)

ttSerenity: Yeah, Dartz is bish. (Akio will kill me for saying it, though.) cowers

Scoodoo58: My word is from The Last Restaurant in the Universe, a remarkable book by Douglas Adams, and the word is desultory. :) I have fun making you look up things, I hope you know.

Sirithiliel: Yes, Bakura's having lots of "fun".

Living on Dreams: That may be so Missa, but I am permanently branded of the image of Valon in this story. :) You'll see.

This took forever, but it IS 3,000 words long! LIKE I PROMISED! SO 'HA' AND HERE WE GO!

Stupid in Love

Chapter 11

Ring Around The Mall

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!" Bakura screamed.

Rafael sweat dropped. "Aw come on, I'm not that ugly!" Bakura slapped him.

"You will be when I finish beating you with an ugly stick!" the very pissed off tomb robber hissed vehemently. "You groped me! You fiend! I've been violated by a man with tusks! That was not on my list of things to do today!"

"I didn't mean to!" Rafael pleaded. He was still lying torpidly on top of Bakura while they were arguing.

A/N I am being absolutely, 100 serious here. When I wrote this part, my nose started bleeding. I swear, honest to Ra it did! Odd, because I absolutely detest Rafael to the very core of my being. He's ELEPHANT MAN!

BEGIN THE SHORT BUT DRAMATIC SEQUENCE!

In the corner, there was a lone figure. He stepped out into the light! He had blonde, silky bangs, and ridiculously large amethyst eyes. He was also very short. YES! The dramatic person thrown in silhouette was in fact the infamously kawaii Yugi Moto! And he had headphones on!

END THE SHORT BUT DRAMATIC SEQUENCE!

A/N I love you Yugi. Now, gimme those headphones!

"CUT THAT OUT!" Yugi smacked Rafael over the head repeatedly with a very ugly stick. "AND GET OFF BAKURA! THAT'S DISTURRRRRRRRRBING! –Not to mention it hurts my eyes and everyone elses'."

Rafael sweat dropped, noticing that everybody in the store was wearing very black sunglasses. "Damn!" he said. "I must really be ugly!"

Yugi's headphones fell off, flooding the room with music! :D It was the authoress' favorite rap song, by the authoress' favorite author, the slightly obnoxious sounding, Eminem! Playing was his greatest song… It was the song known to many as My 1st Single.

Sayin 'I'm done-uh!' Come on
And this was suppose to be
And this was supposed to be my first single
But I just that up so,
it, let's all have fun let's mingle
Grab a chick and doe-see-do
This was supposed to be my catchy little jingle
That you hear on your radio
But it's about to hit the shingle
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh No
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Oh Ah Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Oh Ah Ah
Poo Poo Ca Ca

Any opinions or somethin you just wanna get off your chest
And address it about my lyrics I'd love to hear it
All you gotta do is pick up the phone and just dial up this number
It's 1-800-I'm a I love to
And if someone picks up you can talk all the you want about me
Just type in your number back and follow it by the pound key
And I'll be sure to get back
As soon as there comes a day that I fall out with Dre
Wake up gay, make up with Ray (Hey!)

So a chicken, a chicken, a chicken,
Beat a chicken, eat a chicken like it's a big bawka-bi-kaw
Or suck a , and lick a and eat a
And stick a in your mouth
I'm done you can off
-- offf!
And this was supposed to be my first single
But I just that up so,
it, let's all have fun let's mingle
Grab a chick and doe-see-do
This was supposed to be my catchy little jingle
That you hear on your radio
But shit's about to hit the shingle
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh No
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Oh Ah Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Ah
erra Oh Oh Ah Ah
Poo Poo Ca Ca
Oh Ah Oh Ah
Poo Poo Ca Ca
(burping noise)

A/N I had to edit it. UU; I only own the edited version…

Rafael grabbed his ears, which started bleeding. "His voice!" a blonde man screamed. "I hate his vooooooooooooice!"

"Shut up Joey," somebody said tartly.

"But Eminem's obnoxious vooooooooice!" Joey Wheeler continued to wail. "It haunts me so!"

"Now now Mr. Wheeler, just come with us…" A man in a white coat approached Joey cautiously. "Just coooooooome with uuuuuuus…"

"His vooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii cccccccccccccccccccccccc ee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Joey screamed and kicked (and quite possibly bit someone and gave them rabies) as the men in white dragged him away.

Anyway, Rafael didn't like the song, either.

"That's a horrible song! I hate rap music!" Rafael stood up and glared at the two. "I'll be back for you later!" He did back flips out of the music store.

"That was cool," Yugi opined, admiring the Matrix-esque scene. Bakura rubbed his sore butt.

"Says you," he growled. "I got groped by an elephant man!"

"Isn't that a song?" Yugi asked. "Not the groping part, but Elephant man?"

"Possibly," Bakura stated. "Anyway, what brings you here?"

Yugi beamed proudly, whipping out a newly-bought copy of Eminem's newest CD, Encore. "It's soooooo cool," Yugi told him. "The authoress just loves it. Song # 8 is her favorite. It's called My 1st Single. It was playing on my headphones when Rafael stormed out. Did you hear it?"

Bakura sweat dropped. "Yeah… Yeah Yugi, I heard it. –No wonder they say that rap is making children violent," Bakura mumbled as an additive. "Just look what it's done to your hairstyle."

"HEY! I heard that!" Yugi vociferated, taking out a rolled up newspaper.

WHAP! WHAP!

Meanwhile…

Ryou and Shadi entered the food court. There was a pizza place, a Chick-fil-a, (sp?) a GameStop, an ice cream place, and a few Chinese food places. (Just like at themall I go to, mwa ha!)

"So, what do you have a yen for?" Ryou inquired. "They've got all kinds of food here. I personally really like the Chinese place. They have a really delicious combo meal."

A/N They do! It's totally yum. I eat it every time I'm in the food court.

"I've only got 1,000 yen," Shadi replied. Ryou sweat dropped.

"No, that's not what I meant. Um, you go buy some food for yourself, and I'll go grab a seat."

"Ok." Shadi mosied over to the pizza place, his hips sashaying from side to side in a rhythm. Until…

"Dude, you're a dude! Stop walking like a girl, dude!" said a dude. He had no name; he was just a dude. Shadi glared at him, but finally walked normally.

"Damn my abnormally large hips," he mumbled. Several overprotective mothers shocked him with their stun guns.

"Owww…" Shadi sat up and looked around. His abnormally thin stomach rumbled.

A/N Everything about Shadi is abnormal.

The "sexy" (ha!) Egyptian came to the conclusion that he had never eaten any of the things offered here before. He decided to go with some stuff called "pizza".

"It sounds good," he reasoned. And so he headed over towards it.

Meanwhile…

Every chair either had soda spilled all over it, bubblegum stuck to it, or it was covered with snow.

"How did snow get inside the building?" Ryou wanted to know. "Ah well…" Ryou found a clean seat and sat down, drumming his fingers and trying to think of a good way to get revenge on Shadi. He looked around…

"What kind of a stupid schmuck only brings 1,000 yen with them to the MALL?" Ryou wondered. "And why am I cursing in Yiddish? But, still! That's like, what? Eight dollars U.S.? Five pounds?" Ryou looked around, his brown eyes searching for another clothes store to torture Shadi in, but…

He saw the GameStop.

The GameStop saw him.

And love was in the air.

/I'm in the mood for love…

Simply because you're near me!/

A/N That's one of my dad's favorite songs. )

Meanwhile…

"So," Yugi said, "why on earth do you want to buy Beyonce?"

Bakura blinked cutely. "It's not her, it's just a CD."

Yugi sweat dropped. "I knew that. I mean, why do you want to buy her CD? That's like… almost like cheer competition music."

A/N Ooh, bad Yugi! I'm telling my sister on you! She'll whap you one good.

Bakura explained, "Ryou's really fond of her music, and I…" Bakura stopped, and tried to prohibit the red from spreading all over his face. Yugi's eyes lit up.

"You want to get it for him as a token of LUUUUUUUUV!" Yugi sung. Bakura's ears started to bleed.

"Um, yeah, how did you know?" the ancient grave robber asked.

":D I'm a romanticist," Yugi informed him.

"Oh."

"Yeah, it drives Yami insane," Yugi continued. Bakura blinked in surprise.

"Oh."

BAKURA'S MIND

OPENING FILE ON PHARAOH/BLACKMAIL/1……

SAVING ROMANTICIST.DOC…

ACTION COMPLETE

"Cool," Bakura said, sticking his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. Suddenly, in an Indiana Jones-esque scenario, a grey boulder suddenly started crashing down the large hallway! (Or is that a mallway?) The two of them ran, and ran, and ran! And then they ran some more! Because I said so!

"I'm tired," Yugi grumbled after a long time of running. "And this hallways looks like it's repeating."

Somehow, Bakura managed to hear this over the roar of the giant boulder behind them.

"ROAR!" said the boulder. "EAT OR JOE'S OR ELSE!"

"Keep running!" Bakura yelled. "There's a boulder behind us!"

"What?" screamed Yugi.

"I SAID," Bakura repeated, "there is a rather large boulder behind—"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yugi screamed horribly as he was sucked under the boulder, the titanic mass of rock acting as a giant vacuum. Luckily for him, it was plastic, just like the one that ran over Ryou.

"Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Yugi!" Bakura sobbed. "Wait a minute, I hated him anyway… And I could've just done this."

Bakura opened his shirt and whipped out his Millennium Ring. Several girls fainted.

"PENALTY GAME!" Bakura pointed at the giant, inflatable boulder, and it instantly disappeared to the S.R.

Yugi moaned in pain. Several fangirlish zealots were carrying him away.

"Well there go my hopes of getting some more blackmail." Bakura sighed sadly. "Oh well… I better find Ryou."

Bakura hoped that Ryou wasn't having too much fun hanging out with Shadi. If only he had known that Ryou hated Shadi just as much as Ryou hated mobs of fangirls, then Bakura could have rested easy. But he didn't. So Bakura wanted to find Ryou as soon as possible.

Just then, Rafael stepped in Bakura's way.

"I think we have a little something to settle," he said, cracking his knuckles. Bakura sighed and took out his Millennium Ring again.

"PENALTY GAME!!!!"

Suddenly Valon came out in a frilly white wedding dress with fake, pink roses sewed onto it.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Valon shouted.

A/N I made him a girl remember? :D

Valon beat Bakura over the head with a wedding bouquet. "DARN YOU TO HECK, YOU SMELLY BEAST!" he shouted. "RAFAEL AND I WERE GONNA GET MARRIED!"

".." Bakura fingered his Millennium Ring, winding its chain around his finger. "Well then, in that case…

"PENALTY GAME!"

Meanwhile…

"Did you hear that?!" Shadi asked, sitting down next to Ryou.

"No," Ryou answered, pushing the buttons on his brand new, silver-colored Game Boy Advance clumsily.

A/N Ryou will be playing the game I got for Christmas, Spyro: Season of Ice.

"Oh. Well, it sounded like somebody shouting 'Penalty game'," Shadi informed him. "What are you playing? Is that a Tamagatchi?

Ryou rolled his eyes. "Gee, I thought only Malik had lived under a rock his whole life. This is a Game Boy Advance. Yugi had one of them in his soul room."

A/N 'Tis true! If you watch the episode, he really does!

"Oh," Shadi said. "…So it's a microwave?"

BAP!

"No you idiot," Ryou retorted rudely. "It's a game station. A handheld. Like a portable Gamecube."

"You stuff games in a box?"

Ryou sweat dropped. "No!" He quickly amended this misconception by saying, "It's like a… ah, forget it." Ok, so Ryou didn't amend anything. But, whatever. It's his life.

Several minutes passed by. Ryou got bored and decided to bug Shadi a different way.

"I'm playing Spyro: Season of Ice!" he announced proudly. "I'm flying over lava!"

"That's nice," Shadi grunted. Have you ever heard Shadi grunt? We have. Trust us; it is not a very sexy sound. Now Odion grunting… that is sexy. But Shadi just can't pull it off.

":D Yay!" Ryou exulted. Shadi stared at him oddly. Ryou explained, "I just saved another fairy!"

A goggle of random extras in the food court got up and cheered enthusiastically.

Shadi rolled his eyes. "They're all that happy that you're pro-gay marriage? Sheesh. I didn't think that there would be so many Democrats."

A/N ;)

"There's nothing wrong with that," Ryou pointed out. "And by fairy, I meant the mythical being, Shadi. Perhaps you've never heard of one? It's kind of like a pixy."

"Just when did candy come into this conversation!?" Shadi demanded angrily. Ryou rolled his big, brown eyes at him.

"Whatever, Shadi, now shut up while I set these cacti on fire." Shadi face faulted as Ryou continued, "Actually, they look more like primordial flowers to me… and whoever heard of cacti growing near lava? Cacti grow in the desert."

Shadi narrowed his eyes at the increasingly annoying youth. "Aren't you going to go and order your food?" he inquired, thinking that he would throw the offensive "handheld microwave" away as soon as Ryou got up.

"Nope!" Ryou chimed. "I'm not hungry, but you can go ahead and eat your pizza now if you would like." Ryou pointed to the slice of pizza on Shadi's paper plate. Shadi looked down at it. One had to admire the pizza, in its acute triangular shape. Fat sausages dotted the smooth cheese here and there.

"What are they grey shriveled things?" Shadi picked at one and tasted it.

A/N That makes it sound like he's picking his nose… u

"Those are sausages, Shadi," Ryou answered in a bored tone. He didn't even have to look up from his game.

"Oh. Are those like mushrooms?" Shadi asked.

"...Do you like mushrooms?" Ryou asked.

"Yes…"

"Then yes, Shadi, yes, they are like mushrooms." Ryou sighed, but then he perked up a bit. "Hey, a mermaid! …Ewww, it's a guy."

"What is the purpose of that handheld microwave?" Shadi asked. Ryou blinked.

"Um… the point of the game is to save all of the fairies, I guess. And to collect gems."

Shadi snorted. "A liberal microwave, eh?"

"You're stupid."

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"No, you are."

"You are!"

"SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" somebody screamed, before dying out of unknown causes.

Ryou paused. "Oh, crud!" he blurted. "Should we feel guilty?"

"No," Shadi snapped irritably. His fondness for the gentle, white-haired, brown-eyed, utterly bishounen teen sitting in front of him had waned considerably since they had set foot in the mall. Now, all that the Egyptian wanted was to lay down, soak his feet in warm water – without soap! (Shadi has his preferences.) – and watch Laura Ingram on the news. She wasn't probably nearly as annoying as Ryou… Heck, at this moment, even Tea seemed more attractive then Ryou. Hmm… yes…

"Ryou." Shadi stood up, his robe swishing around his feet. Ryou looked up, agitated.

"What is it?" he demanded. "The llama people need saving, right now!"

Shadi face faulted. "What llama people!? There are no llama people! MY GOD! You're like Carl from Jimmy Neutron!!!" Shadi glared at Ryou. "I am so sick and tired of your annoyingness!"

A/N Turns out annoyingness is a real word!

"What do you mean, Shadi?" Ryou asked innocuously. "I thought we were having a fun time together? Remember? And what about the mystical alignment's deterioration?"

Shadi snorted. "I made it up so I could spend the day with you!"

Ryou gasped dramatically. "No!"

"Yes!" Shadi hissed.

"No!" Ryou still insisted.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet!" some girl with pigtails screamed. "I can't take it anymore, teddy! Make the voices go away! …You say this gun will make the voices go away? But teddy, I thought guns were dangerous! You say that guns are really my friends? You say that pointing this gun at my head will make the voices stop? Let me try!" The girl did so. "Hm… you say to pull this trigger thing? What does it do, teddy? You say to trust you? Ok!" The idiotic girl shot herself in the gun with a head.

"Was that Rebecca?" Ryou wondered. "If it is, there go Yugi's hopes of ever getting a girlfriend."

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYY YYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYY Y Y Y YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Y YYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UU UUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" Shadi yelled.

Ryou chirped back, ever chipper and buoyant: "Yes?"

"I despiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise you!" Shadi declared. Ryou sweat dropped at the blunt phrase.

"Oh, well that's too bad," Ryou lied. "I suppose you'll be going away now?"

"YES!" Shadi shouted. "YES! That is EXACTLY what I shall be doing! USE THE FORCE LUKE! USE IT!" Shadi walked away like a normal human being that owns a turban and goes around wearing robes.

Somewhere in Saudi Arabia…

"I resent that!" a random Arabic said, shaking his fist.

Back in Japan, America, whatever YOU think it should be:

"Goodbye, Ryou Bakura!" Shadi waltzed away sadly, sobbing. "It just wasn't meant to be!"

Several minutes past, as Shadi sloooooooooooowly shuffled out of the mall. Ryou sat torpidly, his hands on his GBA, actively busy saving the llama people of Market Mesa. "Go me!" he whispered. "Go Ryou! It's your birthday! We're gonna party like it's your birthday!"