Why Hiei Hates Tapioca Pudding
By: Elli (AKA Demon of the Black Fire) and Neha (AKA The Immortal Fiend [not a member, see The Joys of Hotdogs and Lemonade by Demon of the Black Fire for further reference])
-- Note to readers; this fanfiction has little to do with the title. --
[[chapter one- a rather long chapter in which the pranks begin]]
It was the first week into summer and everyone was already bored. Elli sat on a boulder by the creek, watching her friends catch minnows in the stream. Her mind wandered, switching between chapters of her fanfics and how awesome Youko was. Then an idea popped into her half-conscious mind. Her eyes widened and she blinked.
"Oorra!" She said happily, jumping up. "Hey, Neha!" she said kicking off her shoes and joining her friend in the water, who was desperately trying to catch a minnow, "If you were to prank some one from Yu Yu Hakusho, what would you do?"
"I dunno," she replied, swatting at one of the fish with her net. "I've only seen one-and-a-half episodes [actual fact], so I guess I'd pose as Yukina and freak Hiei out."
"Hmm," Elli thought. "That's kinda lame. Then again, you don't really know much about the series."
Neha shrugged and continued to catch fish. Then Liz spoke up.
"Andrea has the pranks completely covered. You remember the lemonade incident? [see: The Joys of Hotdogs and Lemonade by Demon of the Black Fire]"
Elli and Neha nodded, remembering when Andrea-Kitsune had put a poison called 'Thisstuffmakesyoudrunk' into Kurama's lemonade, causing him to...well...get drunk.
"That was pretty good, though." Andrea added, thinking about it as well.
"Ya think you could come up with more?" Elli asked her. Andrea thought for a moment, and then smiled.
"Consider it done," she laughed. Elli gave her friend a thumbs-up and shouted,
"I declare tomorrow Official Prank Day, in which we all get together in a team and prank the cast of Yu Yu Hakusho!" Then she paused and asked, "What should our team name be?"
Her friends thought this over for a moment.
"How about 'Team Kitsune'?" Liz asked. "Cuz Andrea has the best pranks ever and is probably going to come up with most of them."
"Good idea." Neha said. "I hereby dub us 'Team Kitsune!'" Elli, Liz and Andrea cheered.
They all waded out of the creek and sat in a circle on the grass, and began to contribute ideas into the plan.
When they were done, they had come to the conclusion that if they were going to get anything done, they were going to have to have two things. They were going to have to get Nikki to help out, and they needed a place to control all the action. Closing the meeting the all retired to Elli's house to spend the night.
[[that night at Elli's house]]
The four friends unrolled their sleeping bags in various places in the living room. Elli got out her laptop and plugged it into the phone line. Then she connected to the Internet, logging onto her e-mail program. She then selected Nikki's e-mail address and typed out a message in Parseltongue, her favorite font that Neha had introduced to her.
Nickster (XD you can't do anything about it now!)
We've decided to prank people from Yu Yu Hakusho. Remember the lemonade incident we told you about? We got some cool jet packs from that 'Totally Spies' wannabe at the bookstore, and if you meet us at the creek, we can jet around for a good control center. You have to be there.
Bakura-ly,
Elli
Neha snatched Elli's laptop away, and, switching the font to Verdana ("It's so simple to read but it's got an air of daring about it."), began to type her own message.
Nikki, if you don't show up, I won't give you that rare holographic Yu-Gi-Oh! card I found. Tell your mom you're going to a free educational camp or something, if she asks. Just come over or else you won't get the card.
She signed her name.
Elli hit 'Send,' and they all watched the status bar. When it said 'complete,' Elli shut off her laptop, saying,
"Now, all we do is wait."
"That's cool with me," Neha quipped. "Now, wasn't the Peach Man scene in Inu-Yasha so disappointing? Raise you're hands if you aren't down with those people!"
And so they passed away the night.
In the morning, the girls grabbed some boxes of cereal and a bag of chips and left for the creek, all lugging backpacks full with supplies. Informing Elli's mother that they would be visiting some friends, they walked to the creek, meeting up with Nikki as soon as they got there.
"So, what's up?" Nikki asked them, picking up her own backpack.
"We picked a hideout that's pretty close to where the people are going to be, so we can set up our stuff, and then we're gonna prank everyone from Yu Yu Hakusho." Elli said, picking a piece of grass.
"How? They're computerized images." Nikki said, putting on her hat.
"They exist here. This is a fanfiction, anything can happen." Liz said, watching Elli make another grass whistle. Nikki shrugged and followed them into the woods. They walked until they came to a clearing. Elli stopped and faced her friends.
"Close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you." She said. Everyone obliged. After a moment, Elli told them to open their eyes again.
The sky was purple, and the trees were all red. They were standing on a beach of multi colored sand, with an ocean of pea soup to one side.
"Where are we?" Liz asked.
"The little world between my ears." Elli said. Then she blew in her grass whistle, making a loud TWEEEEEE! Then about fifty gerbils with little dragons' wings flew up to her.
"Konichiwa, gerbils." She greeted them, bowing. "These are my friends," she gestured to the other four girls. "And we need your help, so as we can prank the Yu Yu Hakusho people." The gerbils cheered. "Now, go assemble the plushies and meet me at the portal." The gerbils bowed and flew off to do their jobs. Elli turned, seeing all of her friends with the same baffled expression.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing." Neha said. "Just that you said we could try out those awesome jet packs, and now we're gonna have to portal around?"
"Well, we can jet around Japan when we get there. Right now a portal is the fastest way to get there."
She turned and led her friends down the beach. They soon came upon the portal. All the gerbils and about twenty Youko plushies and ten Sesshomaru plushies were assembled there.
"Elli, you have too much free time." Nikki said looking down on her army of plushies.
"I know," Elli said, and addressed her gerbils and the plushies. "Good work, all of you," she told them. "Now, everyone through the portal!" the gerbils and the plushies all jumped through the portal. "Okay, everyone, on the count of three, we get to jump through the portal," Elli said.
"One, two...THREE!"
They all jumped through the swirling vortex of blue and silver. They rematerialized in an old, worn down house, in the woods in Japan.
"Here we are." Elli said, putting down her backpack.
"Where's here?" Nikki asked, gazing around the dusty room.
"Where we are." Elli said flicking on a light switch. Pure white light bathed the room. The chandelier above them glittered and shone. They stood in a wide doorway between two rooms. In the room they faced, the plushies had obviously gathered several high-definition flat panels and state-of-the-art computers. The gerbils appeared beside the five girls, and awaited their next orders.
"Very good, gerbils." Elli said. "Now, half of you should work on plugging in and setting up our computers and making this place fit—I'd recommend getting some food too. The other half of you should go and gather some data on our targets." Then she pointed to one of the Youko plushies, and one of the Sesshomaru plushies, the ones who appeared to be the commanders. "You two, come with us. We have some preparing to do." Then Elli turned to her friends.
"Liz, will you and Nikki stay here and get every thing ready?" she asked.
"Yes commander." Liz teased Elli, throwing a salute.
"Very good." Elli said, playing along. She put her hands behind her back, and continued in a manner similar to a military sergeant.
"The rest of you are to come with me, we have to prepare for this in full!" Elli, Neha, Andrea and the two plushies exited the old house and made their way through the woods to the capital city of Tokyo.
[[in Tokyo]]
Yusuke had just gotten back from a rather boring mission in Rekai. He and the rest of his team were in the park, resting. Kuwabara sat on the grass under a tree, picking up little pebbles and throwing them up, into the tree in a feeble attempt to hit Hiei, who was sitting on the branch just above him. Kurama sat on a bench, across the dirt path, watching the fire youkai dropping acorns on Kuwabara.
"It's so peaceful." Kurama said distantly, closing his eyes and feeling the breeze.
"Yeah?" Yusuke said plopping down on the bench next to the kitsune. "Well, it's a little too peaceful if you ask me."
"Nah. You're too tense, Urameshi." Kuwabara said, turning around on the ground, only to be pegged with an acorn.
"Has it ever killed some one to be careful?" Yusuke shouted at him.
"Yeah, it killed some cat." Kuwabara shouted back.
"That was curiosity, you idiot." Hiei said flatly, throwing another acorn at the ningen below him. Kuwabara rubbed the spot on his head where the nut had hit him,
"Yeah, same thing," he muttered, throwing a rock up at the fire demon, narrowly missing.
"You should relax, Yusuke." Kurama said to him, ever the good-natured demon.
"Whatever," was his toneless reply.
Elli led her friends and the two plushies out of the woods, and into the park. She gazed around for a moment, then spotted her target.
"There they are!" She said pointing. Andrea and Neha followed her gaze.
"How did you know they were gonna be here?" Andrea asked.
"Lucky guess," Elli said smiling down on the Youko plushie. The strange little group sneaked through the bushes until they were directly behind the unsuspecting group.
"Kawaii-Youko, go do your stuff." Elli said to her plushie. It nodded and crept out behind the park bench. It took one of Yusuke's shoelaces and tied it to the leg of the bench. Then it inched over quietly and tied Kurama's shoelaces together. It gave Elli thumbs up and crept back.
"Good job, Kawaii-Youko." Elli said to her plushie as it returned. Then she turned to the Sesshomaru plushie and said,
"Go ahead, Sessho." It nodded and disappeared, reappearing behind the tree.
The plushie agilely climbed the tree, until it was on the branch above Hiei. Sessho removed a rock from its robes and dropped it down on the fire demon below him.
It hit him in the head, and he rubbed the spot staring down on Kuwabara venomously. Then the fire youkai set Kuwabara's arm on fire. The ningen screamed like a girl and ran in a little circle waving his arm around, making the flames grow.
"Oh, dear," Kurama said getting up. He went to step forward and help extinguish the flames, but instead he tripped and fell onto the ground. Yusuke got up to help the kitsune up, but found it quite impossible. He soon found himself in the dirt.
"Stupid bench," he mumbled, yanking on the shoelace and breaking it. He got up and put out the fire. He turned and looked behind the bench. Nothing was there.
"Stupid bench." He said kicking it, and hurting his foot.
[[on the way to base]]
Elli, Neha, Andrea and the plushies were long gone. They were already out of the park, and heading back to the base.
"That was a successful mission." Elli said, happily as she led her friends through the woods. Neha looked at her and asked, confused.
"Yea, but don't you think they would get suspicious?"
Elli thought about this for a moment, thinking long and hard.
"Maybe, but Yusuke and Kuwabara are too stupid to notice and none of them listen to Kurama anyway. So I don't think we have anything to worry about."
"Well, I'll take your word for it," Andrea said. "But if they begin to catch on, then don't say we didn't warn you."
"Okay," Elli said, "I won't."
They soon came back to their 'control room' and entered, finding that Elli's gerbils had done an impeccable job of cleaning up the place. Elli strode over to one of the rolling chairs in front of a TV screen showing the gang. She sat in the chair and began to type in a code. The TV then went fuzzy, then it cleared revealing a computer screen.
"Let the fun begin." Elli said pushing a large silver button next to the keyboard.
[[in Tokyo]]
Hiei was crouched on the tree branch, throwing little flaming acorns down on the unfortunate Kuwabara.
"Hit me with one of those rocks again, ningen, and you die a slow painful death!" he shouted. Kuwabara ran back and forth on the ground doing his very best to dodge the flaming missiles.
"But I didn't throw a rock at you!" he said diving to the side, only to be hit with one of the flaming nuts. He immediately jumped to his feet and ran in a little circle, trying to put the fire out, to no avail.
"Alright, that's enough." Kurama said, stepping into the fight, as Yusuke helped Kuwabara extinguish the flame, none too enthusiastically either.
All of a sudden, there was a click and a huge silver dog came bounding towards Yusuke. Yusuke took a step back, bracing himself for impact. At the very last second the dog stopped short, and stared up at the spirit detective with big brown puppy eyes.
"Awww!" Kuwabara said, "It's so cute!" The rest of them stared at Kuwabara as if he had three heads.
"That's just weird." Yusuke said, then he returned his attention to the dog.
"Go away." He said, pointing in the other direction. The dog tilted its head to the side, confused. "C'mon!" Yusuke said, beginning to get agitated. "Get lost!"
The dog blinked. Then it stood up on its hind legs and said in a slightly metallic voice,
"System activated, please press one."
The boys stared at the dog, and it stared back. After a moment, the dog spoke again.
"Are you people deaf?" it asked. "I said press one!"
"Okay, okay, alright." Yusuke said looking down on the dog. "Uh, where am I supposed to press?" he asked the strange dog.
"Well, duh." It said rolling its eyes. "The keypad of course!"
Yusuke looked the canine up and down, for any sign of a keypad, but found none.
"Where's that?" he asked with a sigh. The dog scowled at him.
"You are the most ignorant ningen I've ever seen," The dog told him, putting its paws on its hips. "It's right here," it said, pointing to its nose. "Now, press one!!!!!!"
"Sheesh." Yusuke said, reluctantly pushing the dog's nose. The dog blinked and then said,
"System activated: level two. Please press two."
Yusuke looked down on the dog, with a venomous look plastered to his face.
"I DON'T WANNA PRESS NO STUPID NUMBER!!!!" He shouted at the dog, then he knocked it on the head.
"Level one defense system activated." The dog said. It returned to a four-legged position, and opened its mouth. A water pistol appeared in the dog's mouth and it shot water at the agitated spirit detective.
Yusuke growled, and wiped the water off his face.
"Stupid dog!" he yelled and kicked it, so as it landed in an upside down position.
The dog flung itself to its original stance, and said, in a very metallic voice,
"Level six defense system activated." Then its eyes began to glow with a red light. The dog charged Yusuke, and rammed its head into his knees, knocking him over. Yusuke, got up and ran in the other direction, away from the still charging dog, leaving the rest of his team in the dust.
"Okay...?" Kurama said watching the dog chasing Yusuke around the park.
"Can anyone tell me what just happened?" Kuwabara asked, staring blankly ahead.
"Yusuke made that dog robot, angry and now it's chasing him around the park." Hiei said, joining the other two on the ground.
Elli and her friends were all gathered around the screen, laughing their heads off at the scene playing out before them. After Yusuke had finished beating the crud out of the robot-dog, they all sank back.
"Guess what?" Neha said retiring to her own chair.
"What?" chorused the others, who all began to get up and head towards their own stations in the control room.
"We just got an intense forty-five minute gym workout," she said, leaning back catching her breath. She looked up at her own TV screen.
"Looks like they're leaving now," she mumbled, as she watched the little group head out of the park. Liz leaned forward in her chair and typed in her own code, from a little handbook that explained how to use the controls.
"Time for round two." She said, pressing a series of little blinking red buttons.
[[in Tokyo]]
Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei made their way out of the park and into the city.
They headed towards the outskirts of the town, back to where the shops were sparse.
Yusuke lagged behind the group, mumbling about how he would never get a dog.
They soon came to a library on the edge of the city.
"Oh, wait!" Kurama said stopping in front of the double doors. "I need to pick up a book, I'll be right back." And with that Kurama disappeared into the library.
"How long ya think he'll be?" Yusuke asked, sitting down on the stone ledge of the garden.
"Quite awhile." Hiei answered, jumping into one of the trees and closing his eyes. They waited for another twenty minutes, until Kuwabara got bored.
"OK, I'm bored now." He said, getting up from his spot on the sidewalk.
"Aren't we all?" Yusuke said sarcastically. Kuwabara ignored the comment and continued,
"I'm goin in to find him." Kuwabara proclaimed.
"Don't get lost." Yusuke said as he left. Then he turned to Hiei, "How long ya think he'll be?" he asked.
"Quite awhile," was the fire youkai's reply.
Kuwabara pushed open the doors and walked inside the library. He looked around the building, finally deciding on an aisle labeled 208-228 History Section.
"Now," Kuwabara thought aloud, "If I were Kurama, where would I go?"
He had no further time to ponder this, though, for suddenly a thick red book fell from a shelf and landed on his head.
"Ouch!" Kuwabara said, rubbing his head. He turned and looked at the book on the floor. "Dumb book." He muttered, and shoved it back onto a shelf, and continued on his way.
Then the book then grew little legs and followed Kuwabara down the aisle.
"Hey you!" the book shouted at him, in a high pitch squeaky voice. Kuwabara whirled around, bewildered.
"Who said that?" he asked, gazing around the aisle.
"I did, you idiot!" the book shouted at him, Then it sprouted little arms and pointed accusingly at Kuwabara. "How dare you put me back there!" It shouted at him. "Can't you see that I am labeled 215?" it asked, pointing at a sticker on its binding. "You can't put a book labeled 215 on a shelf labeled 220!"
Kuwabara took a step back, beginning to regret coming in. The book took a few more steps forward, "You should be ashamed of yourself!" It then opened itself and removed an axe from its pages. "And for this you must die!"
Then the book charged Kuwabara with the axe. Kuwabara screamed and ran down the aisle in the other direction. He dashed around the next aisle and out the doors; the book in hot pursuit. He ran until he came back to his friends. Kurama had long since returned, and they were all standing around with looks of boredom on their faces.
"What took you so long?" Hiei asked tonelessly.
"The books!" Kuwabara stuttered, "They're alive!" He looked over his shoulder and saw the red book doing a victory dance with its axe.
"See??!" he said pointing at the book, which immediately stuck the axe back in its pages and fell to the ground, a normal book once more.
Kurama strode over to the book and picked it up. He turned it over and looked inside. Then he brought it back to the others.
"This is just a regular book, Kuwabara." He said, opening to the title page, "A book about medieval weaponry."
Hiei took the book from Kurama and looked inside, flipping to a page on battle-axes.
"He's right, it's just a plain old book." He held it up to Kuwabara's face, "See?" Hiei asked, all too nicely. Apparently Kuwabara didn't notice, and examined the page. Hiei slammed the book shut, making a loud bang. Kuwabara jumped into the air, and landed with thud on the ground. He then got up and sprinted down the sidewalk, screaming how he would never open another book again.
Hiei smirked and handed the book back to Kurama. He took it and added it to the others he had brought with him, and the remaining three headed down the road, after Kuwabara.
[[back at base]]
Elli, Neha Andrea, Liz, and Nikki watched their screens until the boys were out of view, then broke into uncontainable laughter.
Nikki was the first to recover, and punched in another code into her keyboard.
"Not bad," she commented, "But now it's my turn." She pressed a light yellow button next to the computer screen.
"Round three starts now," she whispered, in a low, creepy voice.
[[in Tokyo]]
After Kurama and Yusuke had convinced Kuwabara that books were inanimate objects and couldn't attack him, they all continued out of the city and into a development of town homes. They followed Kurama into his apartment, and sat in the living room. Kurama put the books on the table and sat down on the floor. There was then a knock on the door, and he stood again to answer it. The others remained in the living room.
"Don't you think it's a little suspicious that in the same hour, both of you had something abnormal happen?" Hiei asked, leaning on the wall.
"Waddaya mean?" Yusuke asked.
"I mean don't you think it's strange that you were attacked by a robotic dog and he was attacked by a living book in the same day?" Hiei clarified the question.
"Not really," Yusuke said looking up at the roof. "Stranger things have happened."
"Like what?" Hiei asked flatly.
"Like, Kuwabara actually not dying in the Dark Tournament." Yusuke said, snickering.
"Oh, can it, Urameshi." Kuwabara said, frowning.
Kurama then came back into the room, and sat on the floor again.
"Who was that?" Kuwabara asked blankly.
"Just a friend." Kurama said.
"Yeah, right" Kuwabara said. Kurama got up and took a book from the table and brought it back to his place on the floor.
"Yeah," he said, opening the book. "I am right."
They stayed in Kurama's apartment for the rest of the afternoon. When evening came, the four boys headed back outside.
"Now what?" Hiei asked, as they left the development.
"Well," Kurama said, pausing "I'm going to get something to eat. Do you want to come?" he asked.
Yusuke and Kuwabara hurriedly agreed, but the fire demon replied with a flat out 'No'.
"Suit yourself," Kurama said, and walked off towards the city, leaving the fire youkai at the entrance of the town homes.