"Ahh," he said, moving his arm to cover his eyes. "Too bright." He heard some movement, and what sounded like curtains being pulled. He chanced to remove his arm and open his eyes again – a task that was much easier this time. The room was darker, and more to his liking. He rolled his head to one side.
"Heeeeey," he said, smiling as best he could, though he got the feeling his lips weren't working quite right. In fact, it seemed as if much of his head wasn't working quite right. "There's my girl."
Willow grinned at him and wrapped him in a soft, gentle hug. "Hi, Xander," she said. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh, I'm oogey," he drawled. "A little slow, I think." He tested out all the parts he could think of his fingers moved, his head move, his arms moved, his legs – "AAAAH!"
Willow winced. "Got to your leg?"
"Oh, gaawd," he said. "Wha happened?"
"Um...." Willow said, glancing up at the window. "When you got that dog out from the sewer, you cut your leg on some debris that had lodged in the pipe. It cut you real bad, too."
"What?" he asked. "Nonononono, I'm pretty sure there was a great big, kind of yellow –"
"Mr. Harris!"
Xander rolled his head to the other side of the pillow and saw a man wearing a white lab coat and a clipboard. Only he was holding the clipboard and not wearing it. Xander was pretty sure that wearing one of those things would be pretty uncomfortable.
"Who're you?" Xander asked.
"I'm Dr. Joseph," he said, smiling. Xander looked at the man's smile and felt happy. "I was your surgeon last night, although I'm sure you don't remember it."
"Surgeon?" Xander asked.
"You were in pretty bad shape when your friends brought you in," he said. "But we got you taken care of. Your lucky your friend tied off your leg so well."
"Oh," Xander said. "Oogey."
"I just need to check a few things," said the doctor-man. Xander nodded as best he could. "Um, miss? You might want to, uh…"
Willow turned away and shielded her eyes. The doctor lifted Xander's blanket and moved the gown away from his leg. "These look good," Doctor Joseph said. He attached his stethoscope to his ears and placed it against Xander's chest. Xander shied away from the coldness of it. After a few seconds, he removed the stethoscope, and jotted some notes on Xander's chart.
After a few more minutes of poking and prodding, and questions asked and answered – interrupted by Xander's utter jubilation and poorly enunciated greeting at the arrival of Buffy, fresh from the cafeteria with some coffee – the doctor left them in Xander's room.
"So," Xander said once the doctor had left, "what really happened?"
"A demon ripped open your leg after you tackled it off of Faith," Buffy said. "It was very heroic."
"Thass good," Xander said. "Is Faith here?"
"No, sweetie," Willow said. "I'm sure she'll show up sometime, though."
"No," Xander said, a lopsided frown pulling at his features. "She hades me. I dun even know what I did but she hates me. She gonna have… kid, an' I'm gonna give her money, an' she gonna teach the kid to hate me cuz o' sumthin I don't know what I did."
"She doesn't hate you, Xander," Buffy said, softly. "And she's not going to teach your child to hate you. I guarantee that."
Xander smiled. "Thanks, Buff," he said. "You know, you not always make the best decisions, but you're a good person. I love ya, Buffy."
Buffy smiled and hugged Xander gently, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek.
"An' hey!" he said. "I kept my promise, see? I've still got my leg. I can tell, cuz when I move it, I almost pass out from the pain. Can I borrow your healing dealy?"
Buffy laughed. "Sure, Xander," she said. "Just as soon as we figure out how to share that."
"'Kay thanks."
"Xander," Willow said, "I think you should probably try to get some rest, okay?"
Xander rolled his head so he was looking at Willow. "Ookay, Willow," he said. "You know… you know… you look out for me, Willow. Like a big protective tree… in a small red-topped package. I love you, too, Willow."
Willow smiled and gave Xander another hug, before she and Buffy moved towards the door.
"Hey," Xander said, calling them back. They turned around.
"Yeah?" Willow asked.
"You guys aren't 'bandoning me, right?"
"Of course not," Buffy said, as Willow cooed a soft "No."
Xander smiled. "Kay," he said. He let his eyelids fall again.
"He's recovering quite well, actually. I imagine we'll be able to discharge him fairly soon."
"You don't think that's rushing it?" Giles asked. Faith was watching him talk to the doctor outside of Xander's room. She was watching them from just around the corner. Not because she was scared. Never because she was scared. She was just… wary.
"I don't," said Dr. Joseph. "He's coming along quite well. As long as there's someone who can help him, make sure he takes his prescriptions, I see no reason Mr. Harris couldn't be out of here within the next couple of days."
"I see," Giles said. "Well, I'm certain that arrangements can be made to, um… to…"
Faith knew why he was trailing off. He'd seen her. She sighed and came out from around the corner. Giles watched her the whole way.
"Hello, Faith," Giles said. She nodded in response. "How are you?"
Faith shrugged. She was looking at the door. "Is he, uh…"
"He's awake," Giles said. "If not entirely lucid." Faith nodded again, but didn't move, and didn't speak.
"Dr. Joseph," Giles said, "perhaps we could speak about this over a cup of tea?"
The doctor looked between Faith and the door. "Sure," he said. "I've got nothing scheduled for a few minutes."
As the two men walked off, Faith steeled her nerve and approached the door. She leaned against the frame, and saw Xander reading an issue of some comic called Preacher. As he attempted to shift himself he winced, and took in a sharp breath. He reached for a little control wand of some sort, but couldn't quite reach it. Faith, taking pity on him, walked over to his bed and handed it to him. Xander pressed it, and seemed to relax.
Then he turned and saw her.
"You came," he said. Faith nodded.
"Yeah," she said. "I did."
"That's good," he said. "I'm glad you came."
"Why's that?" she asked.
Xander smiled at her. "Means you don't completely hate me. Or that Buffy and Willow guilteded you into it, which means they cared enough to do that, which is also nice. But it's nicer if you don't completely hate me."
Faith looked at him, sitting on the hospital bed because of an injury sustained while tackling a demon that, truthfully, she hadn't even known was there until he smacked it out of the way.
"I don't completely hate you," she said.
Xander smiled a very mellow smile. "Thass good," he said. "I'm glad."
Okay, obviously the wand controlled his morphine. Word-slurring was a definite sign.
"So why'd you come?" he asked. Faith shrugged.
"Dunno, exactly. Guess I wanted to see."
Xander laughed. "See me," he said. "You wanted to see me."
"Yeah, I guess," she said. She frowned. She did want to see him. It was that goddamn cheerleader's fault, too, for dropping her off at the stupid motel. If she had been at her apartment, she could have just gone to sleep, but instead she had to walk home with nothing but her own thoughts and observations. And damn if that hadn't made her want to give Xander a second chance.
"Don' frown," Xander said. "Is a lot prettier when you smile."
Faith laughed a little at his honesty.
"Yeah," he said, drawing the word out. "Thass the one."
Faith sat in one of the chairs, and watch Xander attempt to read the comic again, only it was upside down now. He was smiling just the same. After a couple of minutes, he set it down and turned to Faith.
"Hey, Faith," he said.
"Yeah?"
"Can you do something fer me? Can you lissen to me for a minute?"
"I guess," she said. She owed him that much, anyway, to listen to him while he was completely drugged up. No use not humorin' the guy.
"Good," he said, closing his eyes. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry, for whaddever it is I did that made you hate me inna first place. I don't know what it is. I wanna know, but I don't know, and you didn't tell me. But I wanna say I'm sorry, cuz… cuz I was jus' trying to make you happy an' nen you hated me. But also… but I also want you to forgive me. But I don't want you to forgive me for me, I want you to forgive me for the… the baby. Because I don't want the baby to grow up with hating me. Because if you hate me… and the baby hates me… then I'm gonna hate me, and I'm gonna be a bad father, and then I don't want the baby to turn out like me. To be… dumb, and not good at things like me."
Faith held her hand over her mouth, not sure what to say. She choked up a little at what she was sure was an honest, if not altogether intelligible, request from Xander. There was no way that he was pullin' her leg on this one, not as doped up as he was. Even with all the pain he must be in, and the drugs to counteract that, he was worried about their baby.
But the bit that stuck with her was that he was trying to make her happy. Because if he believed it now, then it was true, and when she had been completely one hundred percent sure he was an asshole… she had been completely one hundred percent wrong.
"C'n you do that, Faith?" he asked. There was pleading in his voice. "Can you… can you forgive me, so the baby doesn't turn out bad?"
"Yeah," she choked out. "Yeah, Xander, I can forgive you."
Xander rolled his head towards her and opened his eyes. "Hey, hey, hey, don't cry," he said. "I didn't mean to do that, I'm sorry, you don't have to forgive me if it's gonna make you cry."
Faith smiled through the tears she hadn't realized she was shedding. She stood up and walked to his bedside. "I don't have to forgive you," Faith said, "but only because you didn't do anything wrong. I did."
"You don' have to say…"
"Yeah," she said. "I do. Listen, go to sleep, huh? This kid's gonna need a dad with some strength in him. We'll talk more later, cool?"
"Yeah," Xander said. He waved his hand around until he grabbed hold of hers. "Later. We'll talk later." Faith leaned down and kissed Xander's knuckles before releasing his hand. She wiped away her tears, then turned and left the room. Outside, she found that Giles and Dr. Joseph were just returning.
"How is he?" Giles asked.
"Passed out," Faith said. "Tried shifting himself and had to hit the morphine."
"Really?" asked the doctor. "He's been using less morphine than we expected, generally. Odd that shifting his leg would require it."
Faith stared at the doctor. "Son of a bitch," she said, with a small laugh. "He did it on purpose." Not that it mattered. Whether he had doped himself out of pain, or because he needed Faith to believe him, did not matter one bit. What mattered was he had meant what he said. And she believed him.
"What?" Giles asked.
"It's not important," Faith said. "Listen, G, you were talkin' about somebody needing to take care of Xander?"
"Um, yes," Giles said. "I had planned to bring him to my flat – my apartment, that is, and hire a nurse."
"No," Faith said. "He's coming with me."
Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning. "Faith, I'm not sure that, um, that this would be the best time to –"
"What?" she said. "Cuz I got something else to do during the day? Not like I go to school."
"Well, yes, I suppose that's true, but still. A professional would be best equipped to handle any unforeseen –"
"Giles," Faith said, interrupting him. "I'm pregnant. He's the father. He's coming home with me, got that?"
Giles looked shocked, and began stuttering his British heart out. Faith nodded and patted him on the chest. "Good," she said. Faith brushed past the two men and out of the hospital. She had an apartment to make gimp friendly.
Willow looked around. She could have sworn she heard someone calling her name. Nobody was looking at her, though, or seemed to have said anything. In fact, Buffy was asleep, Oz was preparing himself for his stay in the book cage, and Wesley was in the office.
"Willow!" she heard. Willow turned around and saw Faith's face at one of the windows above the bookshelves on the wall.
"Faith?" she asked. Faith nodded and waved at her. Willow looked confused.
"Come here!" Faith said, still waving.
"Oz," Willow said. "Will you be…"
"I'll be fine," he said. "I've still got twenty minutes until sundown."
Willow nodded, scooted her chair back and headed outside, where she met a Faith who was quite obviously happy, which was odd enough in itself, but also excited about something, which was really kind of creepy, because as far as Willow knew, Faith didn't get excited about things. Except maybe wrestling gators, or saving nuns while naked.
"Hey," Faith said as Willow came out into the courtyard.
"Did you need something?" Willow asked.
"Yeah," Faith said. "Can we sit?"
Willow was wary of Faith, still, but she nodded and sat on a bench next to the Slayer.
"I uh… I went to the hospital, and I saw the X-man."
"The X-man?" Willow asked with a snort. "That's original."
Faith frowned. "Don't be a bitch, it doesn't suit you."
"Well, I'm sorry, it's just that… that you were being mean to Xander, and… and…"
"And that's what I came to talk to you about," Faith said. "Listen. There was a thing. After we got the news about… I figure he told you the doc called, and the test was positive?"
Willow nodded.
"Right," Faith said. "And then we got into a little argument and… well, we kinda had sex again."
"Why are you telling me this?" Willow asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Because," Faith said. "The sex… I thought it meant something it didn't mean. I thought it meant… I thought it meant that was all he wanted from me."
"What?" Willow asked, angrily. "How could you think that? After all that he's done… after all that I've done, how could you even –"
"Look, I know, okay? I fucked up. That's what I'm saying."
Willow listened as Faith talked about everything Cordelia had said the night before, and everything that Xander had said that day, and how it had affected her, and what it made her feel… the words came so fast, and felt so awkward that Willow wondered if this might be the first time Faith had really opened up to anybody. When Faith finished, Willow sat back on the bench.
"Wow," Willow said. "I mean… okay. So, what, you're in love with him now?"
"No," Faith said. "No, not even. But… shit, I don't know. He's a good guy, you know?"
"The best," Willow said.
"Right," said Faith. "And… I don't know if there's anything between us, or anything but… I've known a lot of guys, you know? And he's the only one like him I've met. And… I've never been one for relationships, but I gotta take a shot here."
"Because where are you going to find another one?" Willow asked.
"Yeah," Faith said, softly. "Knew you'd understand."
Willow nodded, and checked the skyline. She'd have to go back in soon.
"Anyway," Faith said. "I need your help."
"Me?" Willow asked. "What do you need from me?"
"Well, I overheard the doc tellin' Geeves that Xander's gonna need some lookin' after when he gets out. After our little talk… I kinda volunteered my place."
"Yeah?" Willow asked. Faith had volunteered to take care of somebody else? Jeez, maybe she was really serious about taking a shot.
"Yeah," Faith said. "And, well, I wanted to, uh… well, I uh…"
"Faith, just spit it out," Willow said.
"I want to make it home-like for him. So he's comfortable. And get some of his duds and stuff, you know?"
Willow nodded.
"And I need your help," Faith said. "Cuz his parents don't know me, and I wanted to get his stuff."
Willow glanced at the ever-lowering sun and frowned. "Can't," Willow said.
"Oh," said Faith, disappointed. "I just… yeah, okay. I guess, umm…"
"No, Faith," Willow said. "I mean, I can't right now. I have to watch over Oz tonight, it's the night before the full moon. If you want, like, tomorrow afternoon…"
"Oh," Faith said. "Oh, yeah, that'd be tight."
"Okay," Willow said. "Well, I have to go back in and watch over Oz now, but, I'll see you tomorrow, after school?"
"Sounds good," Faith said. "And uh… don't mention this to anyone, okay?"
Willow frowned. "Still ashamed?"
"No," Faith said. "It's just, I want it to be a surprise for him. Something nice. I mean, he saved my life. Twice."
Willow smiled at her. "Sure," she said. "I won't tell anybody."
Faith thanked her and headed off to places unknown as Willow walked back into the library. As she got to the library door, she stopped suddenly.
"Wait," she said. "Twice?"
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End Chapter 15