[[chapter six- when two piggy ningens get drunk, life gets fun]]

Liz grabbed the edge of the desk, breathless with laughter.

"It's...so...funny!" she gasped, pointing at Hiei, who stood confusedly in a sea of tapioca pudding. "Andrea is such a genius!"

"I know," Nikki agreed. "I mean, this is so ingenious..."

"Hello?" Neha asked. "Andrea didn't exactly plan this one, except for the 'torture' sequence...the ThoughtManager software was Nikki's idea. The concept of kidnapping Andrea was Elli's brainwave. I mean, Liz figured out how to lure the two ningens to the kitchen, and I was the tapioca pudding inspiration."

"True," Elli nodded. They sat in silence, pondering their amazing intelligence.

"Hey, look," Liz pointed at Nikki's screen. "The two ningens reached the kitchen. Thisstuffmakesyoudrunk should be a lot more powerful on them than it was the last time Andrea-kitsune used it. Wonder how they'll take it?"

The four girls pulled up plush chairs around Nikki's screen, bordered with Bakura plushies, and watched the hilarious scene unfold...

Yusuke wandered down the hallway, Kuwabara following close behind. He peered around the corner and saw...

"PEACH COBBLER!" he yelled, running up to a giant pile of peach cobbler. "I'm so hungry; I bet I could eat it all!"

Kuwabara ran up behind him and said, preparing to dive into the pie,

"Not if I can help it, Urameshi." He said, jumping into the pie and beginning to shove handfuls into his mouth, Yusuke joining him.

They ate the pie until there was none left to eat. Kuwabara swayed back and forth, and falling over, onto the dark tile floor. He opened his eyes, looking up onto a shelf.

"Thisstuffmakesyoudrunk." He read out loud from a bottle that happened to be on the shelf, pronouncing it, 'thee-stoof-ma-keys-yo-oo-drunk.' "Wonder what that is."

Yusuke got up from the floor, and staggered over to the wall, propping himself up on the bricks.

"That was fuuuuuuuuuuuuun," he said. "Lets go again!"

"Um...remember da shtuff that...Neha person showed us...the books that said "Roo-ro-oo-nee Ken-shin" on them? His girlfriend was...cute."

"Are you inshane?" Yusuke asked. "The opium girl was better!"

"Wash not!"

"Wash too!"

They continued like this for perhaps three minutes.

"What wer we shtalkin about?" Kuwabara asked finally.

"Dunno," Yusuke shrugged. "bu' le's play wif dosh dollsh!"

And he began to play with the salt and peppershakers.

Kuwabara eagerly joined Yusuke in a raucous game of 'House.' However, this normally childish game ended fairly quickly when they began to argue over who was prettier: did Teresa's brown tresses (pepper) surpass Barbie's golden locks (salt)? Or did Barbie have nicer legs than Teresa? They both retreated to different corners of the room, sulking, throwing insults at each other.

"Shtupid Teresha'sh got flappy thighsh!"

"Yeah? Well Barbie doshn't know how to brush her hair!"

"Yesh she dosh!" And so speaking, Yusuke ran his fingers through 'Barbie's' non-existent hair. He used this time to throw another insult at the peppershaker.

"Teresha should go on a diet—all her food gosh to her hipsh!"

Neither of the ningens noticed a little video camera positioned neatly on the table.

Both Yusuke and Kuwabara were generally good-natured (if piggy), and even in their wildly inebriated state, they made up and were friends once more.

"Sho, ol' buddy ol' pal, whatsha wanna do now?" Kuwabara said heartily, slapping Yusuke on the back. He winced, but continued to smile.

"Lesh go shee what Hiei'sh upta!"

"Hoosh Hiei?"

"Dunno...I think I shud know him..."

"Lesh shee if dere's any more food!" By this time, the smashed duo had eaten through everything in the kitchen. Yusuke nodded, and after much difficulty in opening the latch to the door, wandered tipsily down the hallway. But it would have taken a very astute, not to mention sober person to notice that the video camera had grown legs and was following them sneakily down the antechamber.

Elli fell out of her chair, in hysterics. Neha got out of her chair to help her up, but was giggling so madly that she tripped over her friend. The same fate met Nikki and Liz. They all lay on the floor, sniggering at the intoxicated pair. Even the plushies had finished setting up and were rolling on the floor, laughing.

"I do hope they discover that sea of tapioca pudding," Nikki said primly.

This sent them into another round of giggles. When they recovered, Elli faced Neha's screen.

"Um...guys?" she said suddenly. "Kurama's approaching the torture antechamber."

"Well, then, I guess you should go," Neha said. "You got your headphones?"

"Yep. Wanna come down with me to do the special effects?"

"Well, if Nikki and Liz don't mind—"

"You should go," Nikki interrupted. "Hiei's trying to get to the control room right now, and he hates you two so much he'd blast you to pieces the moment he saw you guys."

"Yeah, and I've got a couple things in mind. If I could just borrow a Sessho plushie..."

"Done," Elli said quickly. She addressed a Sessho plushie who stood nearby. "Okay, Chibi-Sessho, you heard Liz, she's your boss until I get back from my judge duty.

"Wait!" Neha held her hand up dramatically. "Now is the ultimate time to test out my latest invention: the Dramatic Exit Machine!"

They all stared at her for a moment. She paused and looked around angrily.

"I said, The Dramatic Exit Machine!" Instantly, the floor opened up beneath her and a cloud of smoke surrounded her.

"See you downstairs," she said, waving as she was lowered through the floor.

There was a silence.

"Er...I guess I should be going...?" Elli said.

"What? Oh, oh yeah!" Nikki said. "Call your gerbil things, why don't you?"

So Elli summoned her five most faithful gerbils, who flew her downstairs.

"Andrea-kitsune," she murmured into her earpiece, knowing that Andrea could hear her, "it's Judgment Day."