The Crossover of DOOM

by Aerohead

Written with Kire Evoli - The characters of Wicked take on the characters of the Phantom of the Opera in a battle of wits, strength, and insanity

3. Chapter Three

Title: The Crossover of DOOM

Author: Aerohead and Kire Evoli

Email: in my profile

Website: In my profile

Pairing: Christine v. Glinda, Raoul v. Boq, Carlotta v. Mme Morrible, Meg v. Elphaba, Piangi v. Dr. Dillamond, Mme. Giry v. Nessarose, Andre v. Crope, Firmin v. Tibbett, Nadir v. Avaric, Ayesha v. Malky, and Misses Milla, Pfannee, and Shen Shen versus the Opera Populaire dancers

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer/Dedication: Wicked is the work of L. Frank Baum, Gregory Maguire, Stephen Schwartz, and Winnie Holtzman, while The Phantom of the Opera is the work of Gaston Leroux, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Charles Hart, and Richard Stilgoe

Warning: Absolutely nothing

Genre: General, mostly humor

Summary: The characters of Wicked take on the characters of The Phantom of the Opera in a battle of wits, strength, and insanity.

Author's Notes: Hi everyone! Well, I'm giving you fair warning on this chapter because it's absolutely insane. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, and everyone at both Verdigris and the Refuge for your help and compliments – I really appreciate it. Also, if you happen to live in Worcester and have read this story – I'm watching you.

Part Three

"She's not a peacock, she's a Peacock." Elphaba said with a glower.
Fiyero stared at Carlotta, before looking at Erik. "So, do we say Morrible won, or what? At any rate, we should get someone new up here." He said. He looked around. "Uh…maybe we should get a male up here; they're usually not as bad as girls."
Fiyero looked around, before raising an eyebrow. "Boq?"
Boq looked up. "Fiyero?" he said nervously. Fiyero motioned to the stage where Morrible was waiting.

"Boq, would you like to help us figure out which of us has the best musical?"
"Not really, no." Boq said.
"Oh please, Boq?" Nessarose asked. Glinda looked away from Christine's dress to look at Boq.
"Oh, Biq, will you do it for me?" she asked with a pout.
Boq shrugged finally. "Well…I need someone to fight." He said, looking at the other "team".
Erik glared at Jen. "Well, do something?" he said. "We've been waiting here, for you, for a week!"
"Hmph!" Jen snarled as she stuck out her tongue. "You'll do what I want when I want! Or else I'll take Christine away!"
Rachel groaned and looked at Jen. "Could we please just get on with the Raoul bashing?" she asked, rubbing her neck.
"If Erik gives me a hug!" She replied, batting her eyelashes.
Rachel looked over at Erik. "Well, hug her!" She demanded, stealing the Umbrella of DOOM from under Jen's seat and holding it up. "Or no more Crossover of DOOM for any of you! You'll be stuck back in Muse and my depressing Nessa stories!" Nessarose looked aghast at the thought.
"But. But! I'm DEAD in Muse!" Raoul whined.
"Suck it up." Rachel muttered. "Now, hug her or else!" She said.
"Is it really a good idea to be prodding a guy who's killed people with an umbrella?" Glinda asked. Rachel shrugged.
"Probably not, but there really is no point to this part of the story, any way."
"Except for the fact that we couldn't find a way to get Raoul in here. Rachel started this, and because she wouldn't let me type random junk, she started this… I think. Hey where's my hug!?" Jen whined again, sticking her nose up in the air. "This isn't going to get anywhere unless we get out of this part. And Raoul, dead is what you deserve to be. Be happy I didn't murder you sooner."
"So…we've seemed to have established the fact that we're not going to get Raoul to fight now, since he's a little sissy boy," Rachel said, imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger, "so apparently we need someone else to go up and fight instead. Any volunteers?" she asked, looking over her team.
"Um…I'll still go up for Miss Glinda….and Miss Nessarose, of course," Boq said, flinching away from Nessarose's glare.
"How about no?" Rachel said. "Boy/Boy and girl/girl only." She said. "And you're paired with Raoul…"
"Oh, fine, I'll go!" Nessarose said, standing. "For you, Boq, of course."
"Of course." Boq said, deflated.
"Can we go now?" Rachel whined, looking at Jen. "We're not even supposed to be in this story!"
Jen wrinkled her nose. "I still didn't get my hug… hey!? Is that Andre wearing a pink shawl over there?" Her eyes widened in fear. "Does this scare anyone else?"
"Yes." Said Rachel.
"No." Said Crope and Tibbett together.
"Ah, Monsieur Firmin! Do you really think it's my color?" Andre said, spinning with the sway of the shawl."
A wide smile crept across the other manager's face. "Why, yes! It suits your complexion perfectly! Who did you get in from!?"
"One of those funny men over there." He replied, pointing to the flamboyant foreign men and spinning with the shawl again. "It is lovely!"
Crope smirked at Tibbett and elbowed him in the side. "These men are more interesting then the Emerald City and Shiz fellows aren't they?" He asked with a smirk.
Tibbett nodded. "Yes, I believe they are quite…amusing."
Avaric, who had been sitting next to his book-version compatriots, got up, disgusted. "I don't know either of you." He said.
"Ah, that's where you're wrong, Avaric. See, it's all right here." Elphaba said, holding up a beaten up copy of Wicked.
"Hey! Give that back!" Rachel said, grabbing her book from the green witch. "Jen, get your hug and please let's get out of here; this is getting too weird." She said.
"MY EYES! MY EYESSSSSSSS!" Jen screamed running around like Carlotta with her head cut off.
"I take offense to ZAT!" Carlotta screeched sticking up her gray tail feathers.
"Andre and pink! MY EYYYYES. THEY BURRN." She continued to scream as she ran over to Erik, hugged him tightly and cowered behind his cloak.
"I think he looks rather dashing in pink." Tibbett said, crossing his arms. "Don't you agree, Crope?"
"Yes, wholeheartedly. Are you really that biased towards the stronger sex, miss?"
Rachel snorted. "'The stronger sex'? In whose opinion? Hopefully not yours." She said. She stormed over towards Jen and pointed to the exit of the Opera Populaire. "You and I are out of here, now! You can have Erik back at the end of the story." She said, looking up at Erik.
Jen sniffled. "But…but… I don't know my way around Paris. And, the end of the chapter? How long is that going to take considering we haven't even started the actual part of the chapter? And… and, I have him right now!! Would you wait till the end of the chapter to have Fiyero, who actually hasn't even noticed that you are here?"
"I've noticed; I've just been hoping this chapter would continue so I can get out of here." Fiyero said, leaning against the oak table. "Uh…that was Nessarose now, not Boq, right?"
Rachel stuck her tongue out at Jen. "At least my fandom wants to do something productive instead of trying on pink shawls and being hugged!" She said.
"We'd actually like to try on pink shawls, too." Said Crope.
Andre smirked. "If you come here, we could share it!"
"Heavens! I'm staying RIGHT HERE!" Jen screamed again as she hid behind Erik's cloak even more.
Crope and Tibbett looked at each other, before starting to get up. "Oh no you don't. Sit, stay, and be good little flamboyant boys on your own." Rachel said, pointing the stolen umbrella at them.
Nessarose grabbed the umbrella as she went up onto the stage. "I believe that's mine." She pointed out.
"Eh…right." Rachel said, deflating somewhat. Crope and Tibbett shared equally unnerving smirks before getting up and going over to Andre and Firmin.
"Oh, Lord." Rachel said, hugging Fiyero. "This is so not what I had planned for this chapter." She muttered into his chest - well, what she could reach of it.
"It isn't exactly what I had in mind either." Jen moaned. "But we knew what Andre and Firmin were like before this chapter." She shivered as she remembered that dreaded message board thread. "Erik started it, he had to talk to me! It's all your fault!" She directed at Erik, hugging him tighter not actually meaning it, thinking that any phangirl who reads this story is going to come after her a thousand fold because she is hugging him in the first place. "Oh heavens! This story is so off track."
"No, really." Rachel said, deadpan, as she looked up. She snuck a glance in Elphaba's direction and, satisfied that the green woman was reading Gregory Maguire's book, pulled Fiyero closer. "I think Nessa's ready to fight…maybe we should go away and let her fight Giry." She looked up at Fiyero. "On the other hand…"

There came a loud series of thumps on the stage. "I will fight! I cannot stand this anymore." Giry howled as she stopped her thumping realizing that everyone was now paying attention to her. "Enough of this craziness and on with it." She nodded at Nessarose and clenched her stick tighter.

Fiyero disentangled himself from the author of the story and sat down heavily in his chair. "Okay, let's start this fight." He said, looking at Erik.

Nessarose held out her umbrella, and stood tall. "I agree," she said, nodding to Giry. "Let's get this over with." She steadied herself on the ruby slippers and waited for Giry to come at her.

Giry stared at Nessarose, unsure of what exactly to do. She had never fought anyone before and didn't want to just attack the girl with the stick. She picked up the stick and curled her lip.

"Hurt my sister and you'll regret it." Elphaba said, looking up at the stage.

Nessarose glared at her sister from the stage. "Elphaba, I can do this on my own." She said. She turned back to Giry. "So…how do you want to proceed in this fight?" She asked, using the voice she normally only reserved for the Munchkins.

Fiyero sighed and looked at Erik. "What are this Madame Giry's strengths? I know she's a dance instructor and that might prove to be…bad, for Nessarose."

Erik stepped away from the clinging dazed girl and turned to answer Fiyero. "Well, she has the stick. She can dance…but, why would that be bad for that girl?"

Fiyero watched Nessarose for a moment or two, before putting his head on the ball of his palm. "Well, this is the first time I've ever seen, standing, I mean." Fiyero said, pseudo-cryptically, and he shrugged.

Nessarose cocked her head to the side and opened up the umbrella, leaning it on her shoulder. "Well, are we going to do anything or are we just going to stand me?" she said, giggling at how absurd it sounded, coming from her.

"She was crippled!?" Giry put her stick down and turned away. "I can't attack a crippled girl! That just wouldn't be fair! Maybe she'd like to put her new feet to use, try some ballet!?" She asked, her tone a bit more cheery.

Nessarose stared at Madame Giry for a moment, a multitude of different emotions running across her face. Finally, she blinked and looked from the audience to Madame Giry. "Well…what is ballet?" she asked finally.

Giry laughed. "Ballet dear, is a type of dance! I could have my dancers demonstrate for you!"

Nessarose's eyes widened, first in disbelief, and then in admiration. "Oh, would you? I love the arts, and this could be an exceptional learning experience for me!" she said, clapping her hands together.

"Alright then!" She walked closer to Nessarose and moved her towards the edge of the stage. "Girls! Get over here and demonstrate what we've been practicing."

The ballet girls flooded the stage and began dancing their most recent routine.

"Oh no you don't!" Giry said grabbing the pink shawl and holding Andre in place as he attempted to join the dance. "You don't belong in this one."

"But, but…"

"Oh, I've got to see this! The seaweed's little sister, dancing!" said Shen Shen, getting up. Milla and Pfannee followed close behind.

"Uh…move aside, move aside, Munchkinlander hierarchy coming through!" Pfannee said, pushing past Andre.

"And pink is not your color." Milla said, wrinkling her nose at him.

Nessarose watched Glinda's three school friends with apprehension. She shrugged, figuring they weren't going to try anything.

Shen Shen crossed her arms and stared down at the dancers.

"They're so…skinny!" Pfannee said in disbelief.

"Okay, let's see this ballet." Shen Shen said.

The girls continued to twirl and spin around on the stage amazing practically everyone in the theater.

Giry ignored Andre's complaints as she stilled held him in place and smiled again at Nessarose. "Do you like it?

Nessarose nodded, watching the dancers. "It's amazing!" She cooed.

Milla, Pfannee, and Shen Shen watched the dancers for a few minutes, before starting their own interpretive dance to the music the dancers were using.

The ballet girls suddenly stopped dancing at the sight of the three foreign girls and laughed hysterically. They covered their mouths and tried to stop their insane amounts of laughter. "You call that dance!?" One girl shouted out, practically in tears.

"You want to make something of it?" Pfannee growled, glaring at the ballet girl and taking a dramatic pose.

"Maybe we should have a dance off!" Shen Shen announced, taking a complimentary pose next to Pfannee.

"A dance off?" Fiyero yelled incredulously, standing up at the commentators' oak table. "Are you insane?"

"Sure! We'll dance you!" The dancers shouted in excitement, feeling very confident of their skills. "Especially if you continue to dance like that!"

Giry shook her head. "I was supposed to be demonstrating…" She sighed. "Very well, dance off!"

"Does anyone else think this is a bad idea?" Fiyero demanded, looking from the stage to Erik and back. He slunk down into his chair and crossed his arms. "Fine; but I'm having no part in this." He said.

Milla crossed her arms across her chest. "We can dance like all the best in the Emerald City."

"That's not saying much." Fiyero muttered under his breath.

"Come on; let's see what you've got!" Pfannee said hotly. Nessarose went off the stage.

"This isn't good." She said under breath.

The dancers jumped across the stage in unison and twirled on the tips of their toes. "Can you beat that!?"

Pfannee and Milla looked at each other. Then they imitated the dancers. Shen Shen rolled her eyes. She took the large puff of her party dress off and threw it to Pfannee who caught it. She fixed her underskirt, before slipping out of her high heels. She backed up, before jumping and flipping in the air.

"Sweet Oz! Where'd you learn that?" Pfannee gushed.

Shen Shen shrugged nonchalantly. "The Philosophy Club."

"Pfft!" One dancer shouted as the rest of the made faces towards the girls. "So one of you can flip." The dancers made a strange formation as they danced around each other in an intricate pattern twisting and jumping every which way.

Erik wrinkled his nose. "So, I take it they're not very good dancers? And when does a Philosophy club teach someone how to flip?" He shook his head, completely confused.

The dancers finished their little maneuver and one snarled at the girls again. "Hmm? Got something better than that?"

Fiyero turned many different colors of red and white, before putting his head on the desk. "Oh…The Philosophy Club teaches one many…eh…valuable things?" He said, coughing. "I've been once I don't intend to go back again."

Shen Shen pursed her lips. "You moved in a pattern. Oh, how original." She said aggressively.

"Um…Shen Shen? Sidebar, please." Said Milla. Shen Shen turned.

"What?"

"We don't know how to do anything else." Milla whispered.

Shen Shen smirked and pulled her two friends closer to her. They whispered together for a few moments, before they pulled apart and started to move towards the dancers in an interpretation of a group of dancing New York gangs.

The girls rolled their eyes. "And you stole that from a dance that was already used. You're just jealous because we're more fit than you!" The girl sneered, eyeing the other girls. "You wish you could be one of us!"

"Please." Milla giggled, "We're big," she pointed to Pfannee, "blonde," she pointed to herself, "and beautiful," she pointed to Shen Shen. "Why would we want to be like you, someone who can break if the wind picks up?" She sniffed.

Erik shook his head again before opening his mouth to yell. "That's enough! I need a break from all of you. Come." He demanded as he grabbed Fiyero's sleeve and led him off stage. "Take a break all of you. We'll return soon."