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Chapter Three: The Arrangement

Ashk

I'd never seen anything quite like this before; the grand structures, the trees that were wider than four horses together, the soft colors that made even the statues seem natural.

Too busy looking around the giant city I had entered, I didn't see the stair I was approaching. I tripped over it, making a fool out of myself as I staggered into one of the Elves that had escorted me.

I didn't realize I had collided with Haldir until I looked up to see his glare while I apologized. I shrank back after straightening myself and hesitated as he continued on.

Glancing at the two other Elves, neither of who seemed to speak common, I received mutually curious glances.

With a sigh, I continued up the stairs, being sure not to trip over any of them again.

My mind wondered as we climbed. I stared at the back of the March Warden as if he could feel my burning gaze. I wish he could. I wish he knew it should have been me who was irate with him and the opposite.

He'd completely forgotten me! Completely! He honestly didn't recognize me at all. I could see it in his eyes. He really thought I was just here to cause trouble.

Oh, the nerve of that pompous brute!

He must have slept with half the region to forget so quickly! I'd heard rumors of how some Elves enjoyed themselves outside their realms, but I had never really believed it of such perfect creatures.

What a farce that had turned out to be…

Scowling at the mere thought, I heard myself grumble a bit. When Haldir glanced back at me, I was willing to meet his glare with my own. However, when he picked up pace, I wanted to kick myself. We'd already done a league on these stairs at least!

Stopping my unending tirade of thoughts, I decided to focus more on keeping my breath unnoticeably swift.

However - another seventy-eight steps later - we reached a platform and I was fairly winded.

My stomach churned as it had been doing all morning, and I grimaced. This constant morning companion of illness was getting old very fast. Now it was even worse with the fact that I had eaten that horrible bread last night and this morning.

Who ever said the Elves had fabulous food?

I swallowed down as I felt my stomach squeeze.

Oh, dear. This wasn't very good at all.

In the next instant, I noted the three Elves with me bowing slightly. Unsure why, I could only look around like a lost child.

Then, a gentle light warmed from the stairs leading even higher in the city. My eyes cast up to find the source only to be the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen.

She had long, flowing hair, gentle crystal-blue eyes, and a gown only slightly paler than her fair skin. Surely this was not the Lady of the Wood; the one said to be treacherous when angered; the one said to have turned her first lover into a stag for being unfaithful.

Surely not.

"Welcome," she said, her voice as smooth as water. "Ashkalin, Daughter of Lucius."

With her gentle words, my motherly sickness returned with a vengeance. I tried to keep a straight face and not show my discomfort, but it was only a second too late.

Halidr

I was appalled when the woman suddenly turned to the side and heaved through her morning meal. Ferevildir, who was closest, stepped aside only slightly. His face didn't change a bit.

I, on the other hand, was almost amused by this while in the same moment being horrified. There were many reactions from the people who saw the Lady of Light for the first time, yet this was the first I'd ever seen someone become sick over it.

Luckily, the sudden sickness was brief and the woman stood from her position. Her face was flushed with embarrassment and her hand covered her mouth.

Looking to Lady Galadriel I was surprised to see her sympathy strong in her gaze. She glanced aside to one of her handmaidens and asked for her to bring a particular kind of tea. The young Elven maid nodded lowly and scurried to do her Lady's bidding.

The woman who I had finally discovered the name of said, "My severe apologies." Her voice was shaking and I dreadfully wondered if she would cry.

Galadriel smiled at her, moving towards the human with a gentle voice. "No need, my dear," she said. "All expecting mothers have a time of illness - Even the occasional Elf. I certainly did."

What was this?

Looking at the Lady who put an arm around the human's shoulders, I could feel the questionable gaze bright in my eyes. This woman was a liar. Lady Galadriel tolerated neither lying nor cheating.

...Perhaps she wasn't lying.

Grimacing at my own thoughts, I quickly pushed them aside. There was no possible way that-

I will see to you later, March Warden. Finish what business you have with Lord Celeborn, I will call on you when ready.

Shocked at the stern voice that flooded my mind, I looked to Galadriel leading the human away. Her soft gaze at the woman turned strangely icy as she glanced my way. Stiffening in the stare, I found myself frowning as I turned away.

Ashk

Whatever was in the tea they had given me, it was a miracle. It soothed away the constant aches and pounding head. My stomach ceased to turn over and over and I could finally hear without an echo in my ears.

I looked up at the Elven Lady who had given it to me. Murmuring a quiet thank you, I received a soft smile in return.

"You are most welcome," she told me, sitting gracefully on the cushion of the bench beside me.

I felt her eyes on me, but I dared not look at her. What was I supposed to do? She was royalty, did I act as the peasant I was?

Why was she being so kind?

"Oh, I like to think that I am generally kind by nature," she said softly. "But some would argue."

I glanced at her as her eyes slid another direction and a quiet laugh was heard among her handmaidens.

However, in the next moment, the amusement faded and the maidens left without a word.
On a balcony high above the city, I sat alone with the ancient creature. I felt her nobility and power radiating off her and it gave me the urge to keep my eyes away; down and slightly right as peasants were supposed to.

A gentle touch slipped to my chin, drawing my eyes from the floor to the Lady of Light's. In the clear orbs, I only saw disappointment and comfort.

"Perhaps I am kind to you for my March Warden was not."

She sighed slightly as I turned my head away. Oh, Haldir had been kind. He'd been gentle and warm; dominate and strong.

But now, he was only distant and cold.

"I know what you have within you, Ashk - I know."

The quiet words spoken not in anger or shame sent a soothing wave down my body. The only reaction I'd received from this ... situation…was shame and anger.

Even from myself.

Hers was the first voice I'd heard speak of the life mixed with human and Elven blood in a quiet, gentle sense; an understanding sense.

I shook my head. "He doesn't even remember me…That night was nothing to him."

Her gentle hand brushed past a lock of my fallen hair. I fought not to pull away. I felt and looked dirty beside her.

"He does not remember for many reasons, my dear," she told me. "You are not one of them. Had he been truly himself, he would not disgrace you like he has. Haldir is an honorable Elf, Ashk."

"Honorable." I grumbled the word. I saw nothing honorable about the Elf she spoke of. I saw someone who had himself a good time one night and would not deal with the consequences of it.

Pushing the thoughts away, I looked to Lady Galadriel beside me. "Why have you called me here?"

Her fair head tilted slightly, her gaze turning slightly enquiring. "You wish for your child not to be shamed," she said, "Not to be a bastard."

The word stung with good reason. It was the last word thrown at me from my father. He'd been outraged by what had happened.

"Haldir will remember you in time, Ashk. He will do what is right by you and the offspring you both will share. Would you agree to his help, yes?"

There was resentment deep within me. It was burning hot and bright. I knew it had been there for these past days, but I dared not to admit I was forming hate for the father of my own child.

"That is all I ask," I replied.

"Is it?" Galadriel asked. "Where will you go once you leave here? Surely not to the place you call home. They have shunned you. How will you provide for yourself and a babe?"

"A single child is well enough to care for," I told her. I knew this. My elder sister had a child when she was married one summer before. "There are many places I can work. My father taught me well in trade and business."

A delicate brow raised at me. "Fair enough for a single child and yourself," she told me as she stood. "But I must ask: What you will do with two children and yourself?"

She turned to look at me as she said it, but I did not see her. The only thing that ran wild in my mind was a simple question.

Could the Gods punish me any more?

Later

Haldir

I couldn't help but feel as if an Elfling in trouble as the two stared at me. I even had to fight the urge to fidget.

Their wise, ancient gazes looked at me as they never had; they were heavy in disappointment. As the Lady and Lord of the Wood stretched the silence, it only became foreboding to the situation.

"I do not remember her in the least," I said, hating that my voice sounded as if I was making excuses. "What she says cannot be so."

The smooth lucidity of her voice only layered the heat of her words. "Oh, but it can be," Galadriel told me. "The human speaks solid truth, Haldir."

Even with her assurance, her wisdom and knowledge, something inside me was screaming that this was not so. I had no room in life for a child! Much less one of a half-breed.

The sharp glare given to me from the Lady of Light silenced my thoughts. Her eyes lit in something that was border-line to anger. Yet, still, what was I to do? I did not remember the woman!

"You were advised to stay in the city, Haldir," Lord Celeborn said, moving towards me. "You knew it was dangerous to leave in the state you were in."

I did not meet his eyes as he stood before me as a father would when lecturing his child.

"You did not heed, Warden," he said. "Why do you even bother to ask how you could not remember her? You know why."

And with his simple words, the bars on my cage were locked down. The timid questions of the human's truth came in a full roar.

I was not made for family life and children. I never had been. What was the human expecting?

"She only asks for a name given to her children," Galadriel said.

At first, I did not notice what she said. But, a moment later, it struck me like a blow to the head. "Children?" I questioned sharply, accusation finding its way into my voice. "She has more than one?"

"She will have more than one," the Lady told me. "She will birth twins, Haldir; twins of her blood and yours."

Barely noticing as I began to pace, I could only wonder if the Valar could punish me any more for a fool's mistake.

My step stopped abruptly as Galadriel's hand brushed my cheek. Looking at her, I knew she saw my every thought. However, she only spoke quietly. "Take time to think on this, Haldir. Find within yourself the answers to your questions."

Though I took her words in earnest, I could only think that my near future had just been turned upside down.

Evening

Ashk

The gentle knock on the door drew my gaze away from the bright moon rising outside.

I released the curtain that I held aside and moved towards the door. Upon opening it, I fought the urge to step back and slam the door in his face.

However, he did not even look as he had that morning. The lingering coldness was there, but much less than it had been. In his eyes, I could almost see what resembled shame.

"My lord," I heard myself say.

"My lord," I greeted, sliding the hood away. "Would you like something to eat?"

His eyes flashed to mine and I recoiled at the pain I saw there as he slid his glass towards me.

"May I come in?" Haldir asked, putting a great effort into seeming kind as he asked. I paused a moment, feeling the eerie familiarity of this.

But, I stepped back with a nod while opening the door.

He entered silently and I closed the door behind him with a gentle touch. The click it made as it shut seemed to echo throughout the room.

Subconsciously, I crossed my arms as he turned to face me. He seemed to notice my uncertainty and kept his distance.

"The Lady of Light announced twins to me," he said as I sat on the edge of a corner chair. I could only nod, still taken aback by the new blow to my already tentative plans. "How will you take care of twins?"

I swallowed slightly. "The best that I can."

He motioned if he could sit down and I nodded, watching him like a criminal as he sat on the trunk at the end of the bed. He leaned forward, bracing his arms on his knees.

I shook my head, feeling myself smiling sadly. "You still don't remember me."

He looked down a moment before shaking his head. "No, I do not," he told me quietly. Hearing this made me sigh slightly as I pushed myself to a stand. "Though, I will…In time."

Surprised by this, I looked at him in question. Was he admitting, finally, what had happened between us? Did he no longer accuse me of lying?

"I don't understand," I told him.

He shook his head.

"What passed between us was a mistake," he said, bypassing my confusion completely. "But, all mistakes have consequences. If you wish it, I will pass my name to your children."

Our.

I wanted to correct him, but I was too shocked to do so. What had brought around this sudden change?

I wouldn't question it for fear that he was take back his offer.

I could only reply to him with a nod, silent and sealing as it was. However, I could see the dread in his eyes and he stood and glanced away. That dread was pushed out of sight when he looked to me again, but its gleam was still obvious.

Haldir

I knew it was my duty to agree to what I was, but its weight was still heavy and it still complicated so everything.

I would have to marry this human. Give her my name as much as I was the children she carried. And what of this situation after that?

"I understand you cannot return to your home," I said, noticing how she looked away and sat down once again. I was given no answer besides that and I had no wish to press it onward. The last thing I needed was the woman's sobbing story.

"There is a village just north of the borders; Celebruim. It is a mortal village but close enough for me to settle you well enough and return when I must."

"What do you mean settle me?" Though her question was innocent enough, I wanted to glare down the hope that lit in her eyes.

I bit back a grumble. "Think of me what you wish, this is nothing more than an agreement. I was part of the cause that lost you steady meals and a roof over your head. I will replace it before I leave you to your own devices," I told her. "And I will leave. Call on me when you wish for the children, but do not obligate me to husbandly duties."

Her nod was slow. "I understand," she said, but I wasn't so sure she did. She would want more, women always did.

"It's simply a temporary arrangement," she said a moment later, putting the situation in her own words. I didn't care how she put them, as long as it still stayed within the boundaries I set.

"Yes, I suppose so," I agreed.

Silence remained a moment after that and I felt out of my own domain. Glancing at her as she stared into nothing, I cleared my throat. "We will leave tomorrow morning."

I waited for her reply, which was a stunned nod, before I left.

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