Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, nor the characters within it. Only my own thoughts and ideas.

A/N: Well, at first I want to say that English is not my native language. I hope that my story is readable, please report if it is not.
About the story: I'm planning this to be a romance between Sheena and Lloyd, as well as having thoughts about their life and about life itself in it. The first chapter is rather short, it's mainly because I want so see if it's worth the effort writing it in English, as it is the dominant language here. So, in spite of all the doubts I have I hope you enjoy it.
Please review, especially if you like it or if there are passages, sentences not understandable.

A little update: I got someone who is more familiar with the English language than I am to look over the text, resulting in some (minor) corrections and changes.


Decision

The campfire spat angrily as Lloyd poked it with a stick. Thoughts he couldn't ignore were running through his head since he and his comrades had left the Temple of Earth. The expression on his face left no doubt that these thoughts worried him, made him sad, tired.

A loud crack, caused by the fire, drew Lloyd's attention back to the world. He glanced over the sleeping ones around him. "Time to wake Sheena, she's next", he thought.

So he got up, walked silently towards Sheena's motionless body, knelt down and shook her softly by the shoulder. "Sheena", he said, "it's your turn."

Sheena muttered, grumbled. "Sheena, wake up!" Lloyd said quietly, yet more commanding.

"Hnnf, uh, whaddisid? Aw-awright", she finally answered, "I got it."

Lloyd went back to the fireplace, sat down again. After a minute or so, Sheena joined his side, rubbing her eyes. "Hey", she said.

"Hey."

Sheena yawned. "Man, I hate having the second shift. Every other is fine, just not the second."

"Yeah. Having to get up after that short period of sleep is really challenging", Lloyd said with an understanding smile.

"So, everything's fine? Anything I should know? Incidents?"

"No, nothing happened, everything's as it should be."

Sheena nodded. "Ok."

Both of them sat silently there for a few minutes, then Sheena asked: "Don't want to sleep? You look tired."

Lloyd scratched his head. "Well, I am tired, yes, but I don't feel like sleeping now."

Sheena looked at him, catching a thought. "Wait, so you woke me for no reason, is that what you're saying?" she asked accusingly.

That made Lloyd turn his head slowlyin Sheena's direction, his lips forming an 'Oh'. "I... I just thought it was time, didn't think about it... sorry."

Normally, Sheena would have insulted him, but the tone in his voice held her back. "Lloyd, what's the matter with you?"

"Nothin'", he said, staring at the fire.

"Oh, c'mon! You're such a lousy liar. You're not the one staying awake in the middle of the night, poking the fire for no reason. So tell me what's bugging you", she demanded.

Lloyd sighed, lowered his head. "It's..." he started,searching for words. "I just fell so damn useless somehow."

"You... what?" Sheena asked in disbelief. "Why?"

"I don't know", Lloyd answered depressed. I mean... everyone of us has a special ability or whatever. Raine is very smart, a healer, Genis knows powerful magic, you have even the power of summoning. But I..."

Sheena still couldn't believe what she just heard. "Are you kidding? You're the strongest fighter among us!"

"Maybe I am, but only because I have this exsphere", he said, pointing to the shimmering crystal on the back of his hand, leaving Sheena without words for now. "But that's not the point."

"It's not?" she wondered.

Again, Lloyd sighed, then looked into Sheena's eyes, revealing some kind of resignation. "I mean", he started, turning his head towards the fire again, "when this is all over, when we havefinished our quest - I will be useless. I was useless before, even if I didn't know it, and again will I be useless. Just like a match: It's useless until the moment it is lighted, and again, when the fire fades, it will be useless and thrown away."

Now, Sheena began to understand what Lloyd wanted to say and had pity on him. "Lloyd", she said softly, touching his shoulder with her hand, "don't say that, please! You won't be useless, you have other skills than fighting."

"Nothing special, nothing to live for..."

Hearing these words made Sheena feel strange, a mixture of fear, sadness and helplessness. "I don't like what you're saying, don't scare me that way!" She moved a bit closer to him. "Lloyd, you're our friend... you're my friend."

"That doesn't change anything", he said weakly.

"Of course it does!" she tried to shout quietly, not wanting the others to awake. "You have a meaning for all of us, don't you see that?"

Lloyd took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "I didn't ask for these thoughts, yet I'm unable to get rid of'em."

"Lloyd, what happened? Where does this suddenly come from? You were always the most optimistic one among us... Can't I help you? What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Well", Lloyd said after thinking a bit, "what about some tea?"

Being surprised, Sheena's eyes widened, but then she smiled. "Sure, just leave it to me!"

"Fine. I'm just getting another cup for you."

"Ok, thanks", Sheena agreed.

While Sheena filled some water into the can by the fireplace, Lloyd walked towards some bags. In a little while he managed to find a cup in one of the bags without making too much noise. Then, in the cover of the dark, he took a small packet out of his coat, opened it and leta bitof it's content trickle into the cup. "I'm sorry, Sheena", he said in his mind. Finally, he hid the packet where it was before and went back to the fireplace.

"Got one?" Sheena asked as he returned.

"Yeah, got one, although it took me a while with no light inside the bags", he lied.

"Fine. Tea will be ready in two or three minutes."

Lloyd looked for his cup he had already used earlier that night, then sat down again at the fire and placed both cups at his side.

"Ok, here it comes", Sheena said after some time of silence.

Lloyd held the cups so Sheena could pour in the tea, then handed over one of them. "Thanks", she said.

Again, time passed in silence for a while. "You feel better already?" Sheena asked.

"Yeah, thanks", Lloyd answered with a smile, yet again not telling the truth. But he didn't want to make her feel bad again.

"Glad to hear that", she smiled back.

"And what about you? Feeling fine?"

"Uh, well, now that you're asking... actually I feel a bit dizzy right now..."

Lloyd put his cup onto the ground, moving closer to Sheena. Then, as her eyes closed, he took her cup out of her hands before she would drop it.

"What's..." she said confused.

"I'm sorry, but you wouldn't have let me go", Lloyd explained while he put Sheena down to the ground carefully.

For a few minutes, Lloyd just knelt by the sleeping Sheena, looking at her, his eyes saying 'sorry' the whole time. Then, he took a sheet of paper and a pen, wrote down some words, folded it and put it into Sheena's hand.

"Bye", he said and stood up, started to run. Only seconds later, he disappeared in the darkness of the night.